The loss of a sibling should be shocking. However, for some, losing a sibling doesn't get to be the tragedy it should be. Instead, it's simply a long awaited casualty. There are over 1 million juvenile gang members in the United States, of which 50- 80% come from disadvantaged families. According to NIH.gov the mortality rate for gang members ages 15-35 is 1,447.4 per 100,000 population. Born blue, with the umbilical cord wrapped tightly around her neck, it took her 7 minutes to breath. The doctors told us that it was imperative that she would have a multitude of intellectual delays as a result of her traumatic birth. We waited for those to show up as she grew. Except they never did. By 18 months she was naming every animal in the "National Geographic". By 6, she was reading at an 8th grade level. My sister not only defied the odds by having no disabilities, but she was a certified genius with an IQ testing at 152. My brother had a similar birth experience, but his intelligence wasn't far behind my sister's. My brother may have very well saved my life. My mother at the time wasn't in a very stable mental state. One night was particularly bad. My then 13 year old brother deemed my mother unfit and walked me across town in the icy cold to my grandparent's home. A place that was safe. A place he knew I'd be cared for. His kindness and bravery was unmatched. My brother fell victim to gang violence at 19, my sister followed years later at 22. A lot of people are quick to judge situations like my siblings. What a lot of people fail to understand is when these behaviors are normalized around you from birth, they don't look as bad to you as they do to others. When you're 12 and you have no money to go to the mall and no one to take you- you'll find other ways to fill the time. I often find myself wondering where they would be if they had something else to do. Something that filled their days with knowledge and books instead of drugs and violence. If I had the opportunity to go back and give that to my siblings I would. I would have started a ride share program that gave kids like them a way to get off the "bad side" of town to the side that had things like the library and mall. The places where the "good kids" hung out. I would have taught my sister to drive and my brother to give inspiring speeches. We could have held bake sales and made flyers. We could have given kids a place to go when there was no electricity at home and the fridge was bare. We could have taught them that there were options that didn't include incarceration and drugs. We could have offered the familial environment that gangs offered without the drugs and violence.