I deserve to win this scholarship so that I can bring my nefarious plans to fruition – the Wicked Witch of the West has always been a hero of mine and if she had had the drive and ambition that I possess along with the funds provided by your scholarship she would have gone much further than a puddle on the floor. I will reshape the world in my glorious image. The money that you WILL give me, under threat of pain and torture -- those funds shall go towards my goals of breeding and training a legion of hyper-creative monkeys that I will use to complete all my artwork assignments while I turn my eye to other lofty goals, such as taking over the world banking system and the mass-corruption of governments. When I was younger, I asked for the best iPhone for Christmas, and what I received that morning -- as I excitedly tore the paper, was a cheaper model. The indignity I suffered, as they grinned like insufferable fools, was too much to handle and that humiliation taught me that I would have to take what I wanted. That if I wanted the world, I would have to take it.

When I was a little girl, I would spend every possible stolen moment in the small wood near my home in Western Washington. The solitude and safety of those boughs allowed me to be myself when I otherwise would not be comfortable with the people around me. Those precious lonely moments, by myself, whether it be catching frogs, climbing trees, or walking for miles in one direction just to see what was out there – those moments are the foundation of my life. I always had a challenging time connecting with and being “normal” around others and that is why the lonely woods called to me so strongly as a child and have continued to do so as I have grown. I felt awkward, different than everyone and always able to tell when I would talk too much or too late or too loud or not at all when I should be. I never could figure out precisely what was expected of me and when it was expected – the woods never had any expectations of me, so I could be me. Now that I have grown, I find less and less time to go home to the woods but when I do manage to make it back to the actual true wilderness, and when I can share those moments and my love for them with my sweet daughter – I appreciate the quiet majesty of my home all that much more. I have spent my whole life in this vast sea of evergreens and beautiful mountains. The Pacific Northwest is one of the most gorgeous places on earth, and I am lucky to call the forests here my true home.

When I was in my early twenties my dad cheated on my mom, and it was devastating not just for her but for my younger sisters as well. I will never forget the day they pulled in the driveway, I could see my mom screaming and slapping my dad inside the car, he had just told her he didn’t love her anymore and was leaving. Shortly after he left a Sheriff’s cruiser pulled in, my dad had reported my mom for slapping him. After a long talk with the sheriff and many tears, my mom was taken away in handcuffs. I was left to care for my younger sisters, and she told me to take them to my auntie’s house for the night. I did my best to comfort and calm my sisters, the youngest being only nine years old. We made it to my aunt’s house and after eating dinner and having a long difficult conversation with my siblings, I tucked them into bed. What sticks out in my memory the most is the looks of confusion and despair on my sister’s faces as I tried to explain to them why our family was ending. It was a lot that ended up on my shoulders and I found myself suddenly an adult. I picked up my mom from jail, I held her hand after she tried to kill herself by taking too many pills and took the gun away from her when I found her thinking about suicide a second time. Those experiences helped me to have greater appreciation for those we call family, the importance of sticking together and the value of never giving up. To continue trying to overcome any obstacle no matter how personal or painful -- becoming better people to each other through doing so.

My grandmother died when I was five years old and though I do not remember much about her though there are some smaller things I can recall. She grew, which seemed to me at the time, the largest sunflowers in the world -- I would stand underneath them and look up into their bright faces awestruck at the sheer height and size of them. There was a large antique dresser that was filled with craft and art supplies that we would make together. I remember the green chair in her bathroom, I still remember how she smelled when she hugged me – her green hippo cookie jar that always had a sucker for me when I visited. She was a hardy, say what you mean type of person but also loving and a kind, gentle woman. And although she is gone and her memory faded, she had some country wisdom that has helped to guide me throughout my life. “Don’t let the bastards get ya’ down.” That is what she would tell my mother and I whenever life or anyone’s cruelty had gotten us down. As gruff and offensive as the word bastard may be, she was right. That crude and remarkable advice is the wisest advice I have ever been given, and even though she has been gone for thirty-three years, those words have been with me the whole time, guiding me. With just a few words she taught me strength, taught me to not let the hateful, mean, and ill-natured opinions of others affect my life. To always be true to who I am and to not let others hold me back from being that person. Her good memory will continue to live on through my strength, and the guidance her wise words have given me.

All my life I have been surrounded by people in my family that create beautiful, diverse, and clever works of art. My mother is a phenomenal artist, creative and bold with her illustrations and painting abilities. My grandmother on my dad’s side is an oil painter and watercolorist that could give Bob Ross a run for his money. My sisters all show an affinity for the creative arts in some way as well. Yet despite the abundance of talent and promise – not even one of us has ever taken these talents and used them to make more of ourselves. Art was always a side hobby, something to use and put aside as needed to make room for other things of more importance, such as getting a job or starting a family -- never something to work towards. Because of this mindset, I’d never given much thought to goal setting or being successful in my life. But now that I am a mom to a beautiful little girl, I know that I must have a tangible plan and goals so that I can make our lives better. So that I can set an example for her, one that I was lacking in my youth, and help her forge her own path in life through my own example of success. I am at the point where I finally have an actual goal to strive for, something concrete to achieve. I will use my financial aid and hopefully this scholarship to work toward a Master of Fine Arts in Illustration and then put that degree to work in either Television/Film or Games as a conceptual artist. And, in doing so, create positive pathways toward success not just for myself but for my daughter and others that may follow me.

Growing up in rural Washington State during a time when mental health issues generally weren’t discussed, was difficult to say the least. My mother has major depressive disorder and anxiety, my father an alcoholic, along with the myriad of other mental health issues in our extended family -- couple that with the unwillingness to even mention, much less discuss, that these issues exist; and you have a recipe for disaster. As a rule, people just didn’t talk about mental health or their feelings, it was a taboo subject and for most the solution was to ignore it and hope it went away, and when that didn’t work, drinking usually filled the void. In my early twenties my dad had an affair and left us -- I still remember that moment, the moment that our lives, as we knew them, ended. In the following months, I found my mother holding a pistol in her hand, sobbing, contemplating putting it to her temple and pulling the trigger. I took the gun from her and held her tightly, trying to take all the pain away with that embrace. Weeks later while at work my phone rang, and she told me she had taken all her Xanax, attempting to dull the pain. After I got to the hospital, I saw her lying there not knowing when or even if she would wake up – a nightmare come true. During the period when my mom was seemingly lost in her pain; my dad was nowhere to be found. I was left all alone taking care of my younger siblings and my mother, doing my absolute best to fulfil my role, not just as a big sister but now as parent and counselor. I spent a lot of time trying to make sense of the range of emotions, not just my mother’s but also my sister’s confusion and my own feelings of despair. My dad didn’t just abandon her, he abandoned us too, and I was devastated but far too busy taking care of everyone else to do anything for myself. Little did I know that my dad’s abandonment and the sudden weight of it all would have devastating consequences for my own mental health. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder with panic attacks, chronic depression and ADHD to contend with, though I did not know I had them until my thirties. I spent most of my twenties trying to self-medicate and became addicted to opiates. I did anything I could to try to manage the pain and fear I was feeling, emotions that I had no clue what to do with. Now I look back at the turmoil of my early adulthood and shake my head at the amount of trauma I endured and the things that I have overcome. Nine years ago, I made the choice to get clean and free from opiates, and it was the best decision in my life. My relationship with my husband improved after almost ending over the drugs, and I could begin working on the underlying causes of my addiction. I could truly begin to heal and discover who I was meant to be. Less than a year after that I became pregnant with my beautiful daughter Serenity. She brought so much into my life that I didn’t know was possible, so much joy, love, and a hope for the future that I never knew was possible. My beautiful girl was born developmentally disabled but healthy overall, and now that she is seven years old – is just an absolute treasure. I thank the gods for her every-day, I wouldn’t trade anything about her for the world; despite the emotional and behavioral challenges she poses. She gets overwhelmed easily because of big emotions or big noises -- she will hit herself, kick and fight and have meltdowns. But she is also kind, polite and so smart, she has the best sense of humor, and is so much more than the labels she’s been given. She has gifted me with patience and gratitude, along with a deeper understanding of people who are neurodivergent – and most importantly a greater love than I've ever known. All the horrible things that I saw and experienced led me to be the woman I am today; they gave me strength and the resilience to carry on. To live to fight another day, to learn the hard lessons so that Serenity doesn’t have to. Through all my struggles and the challenges that being a mom to a special little girl has posed -- I have learned so much and become a much better person for them. Taking what I've learned, I will put an end to the cycle of trauma, poverty and ignorance of mental health that has plagued my family for generations. I won’t let my daughter go through what I went through, I will never place that burden on her. I've learned my own coping strategies through much trial and error and am still learning positive ways to live with my illnesses and the unique challenges they bring to the table. When I say I am better for my trauma, I mean it. Instead of being stigmatized and feared in my eyes, my mental health struggles have given me a greater understanding about the problems that surround mental illness and how to be more empathetic of others with mental health problems. I never aspired to be or do much, I let my fear and anger resign me to a life of minimum wage. But no longer weighed down by my mental health, now I can aspire for more – I can be more than I ever dreamed I could. I will become the person I was meant to be; I will be the first in my family to graduate from college, I will be the first to use my artistic talents and make something of myself -- I will break the cycle and no one can stop me, not even myself.

Growing up in rural Washington State during a time when mental health issues generally weren’t discussed, was difficult to say the least. My mother has major depressive disorder and anxiety, my father an alcoholic, along with the myriad of other mental health issues in our extended family -- couple that with the unwillingness to even mention, much less discuss, that these issues exist; and you have a recipe for disaster. As a rule, people just didn’t talk about mental health or their feelings, it was a taboo subject and for most the solution was to ignore it and hope it went away, and when that didn’t work, drinking usually filled the void. In my early twenties my dad had an affair and left us -- I still remember that moment, the moment that our lives, as we knew them, ended. In the following months, I found my mother holding a pistol in her hand, sobbing, contemplating putting it to her temple and pulling the trigger. I took the gun from her and held her tightly, trying to take all the pain away with that embrace. Weeks later while at work my phone rang, and she told me she had taken all her Xanax, attempting to dull the pain. After I got to the hospital, I saw her lying there not knowing when or even if she would wake up – a nightmare come true. During the period when my mom was seemingly lost in her pain; my dad was nowhere to be found. I was left all alone taking care of my younger siblings and my mother, doing my absolute best to fulfil my role, not just as a big sister but now as parent and counselor. I spent a lot of time trying to make sense of the range of emotions, not just my mother’s but also my sister’s confusion and my own feelings of despair. My dad didn’t just abandon her, he abandoned us too, and I was devastated but far too busy taking care of everyone else to do anything for myself. Little did I know that my dad’s abandonment and the sudden weight of it all would have devastating consequences for my own mental health. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder with panic attacks, chronic depression and ADHD to contend with, though I did not know I had them until my thirties. I spent most of my twenties trying to self-medicate and became addicted to opiates. I did anything I could to try to manage the pain and fear I was feeling, emotions that I had no clue what to do with. Now I look back at the turmoil of my early adulthood and shake my head at the amount of trauma I endured and the things that I have overcome. Nine years ago, I made the choice to get clean and free from opiates, and it was the best decision in my life. My relationship with my husband improved after almost ending over the drugs, and I could begin working on the underlying causes of my addiction. I could truly begin to heal and discover who I was meant to be. Less than a year after that I became pregnant with my beautiful daughter Serenity. She brought so much into my life that I didn’t know was possible, so much joy, love, and a hope for the future that I never knew was possible. My beautiful girl was born developmentally disabled but healthy overall, and now that she is seven years old – is just an absolute treasure. I thank the gods for her every-day, I wouldn’t trade anything about her for the world; despite the emotional and behavioral challenges she poses. She gets overwhelmed easily because of big emotions or big noises -- she will hit herself, kick and fight and have meltdowns. But she is also kind, polite and so smart, she has the best sense of humor, and is so much more than the labels she’s been given. She has gifted me with patience and gratitude, along with a deeper understanding of people who are neurodivergent – and most importantly a greater love than I've ever known. All the horrible things that I saw and experienced led me to be the woman I am today; they gave me strength and the resilience to carry on. To live to fight another day, to learn the hard lessons so that Serenity doesn’t have to. Through all my struggles and the challenges that being a mom to a special little girl has posed -- I have learned so much and become a much better person for them. Taking what I've learned, I will put an end to the cycle of trauma, poverty and ignorance of mental health that has plagued my family for generations. I won’t let my daughter go through what I went through, I will never place that burden on her. I've learned my own coping strategies through much trial and error and am still learning positive ways to live with my illnesses and the unique challenges they bring to the table. When I say I am better for my trauma, I mean it. Instead of being stigmatized and feared in my eyes, my mental health struggles have given me a greater understanding about the problems that surround mental illness and how to be more empathetic of others with mental health problems. I never aspired to be or do much, I let my fear and anger resign me to a life of minimum wage. But now I am not weighed down by my mental health, now I can aspire for more – I can be more than I ever dreamed I could. I will become the person I was meant to be; I will be the first in my family to graduate from college, I will be the first to use my artistic talents and make something of myself -- I will break the cycle and no one can stop me, not even myself.

I have always been a difficult person to get along with, I always tell it like it is and I am uncompromising in my morals and beliefs. I am strong-willed, with a loudmouth and too many opinions, so I've been told. Despite getting myself into occasional trouble, I will never lay down my morals or the truth for anything or anyone. I hold the belief that all beings matter, human or animal, and that all should be treated with respect, love and understanding. I am willing to always stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves and to always do the right thing no matter the cost. Encouragement, like leadership, should be done through setting a good example for others through our own thoughts and deeds. Though it might seem harsh, encouraging others means doing what you think is right and never backing down, no matter the pressure received from others to just be quiet and go along with the crowd. Setting an example for those around, an example of courage and hope -- encouraging others through your own courage. I do my best to encourage others to be brave and to have heart that things can and will get better. I have a seven-year-old little girl and the best encouragement that I can give her is to raise her to be unafraid, to be fearless in the quest for knowledge and teach her to always tell the truth even when it isn’t easy. I will show her that one person can make a difference – with honesty, integrity and love towards every living thing.

I spent my twenties lost in my own personal miseries and fighting my way out of a severe opioid addiction, I became clean and clear headed for the first time. Less than a year after my newfound sobriety I became pregnant with my beautiful daughter, my miracle baby. I was always told by doctors that after I had Pelvic Inflammatory Disease the vast scarring left behind would prevent me from bearing children. They were wrong and I was blessed with the opportunity to be a mom when I thought that I never would. The meaning of life is just that – the ability to overcome all the misfortunes that come our way and still face each day with bravery and optimism. Life is about the little things and as people we tend to forget that, or instead take them for granted. Life is about family, friends and how we can best help each other live our lives in a way that is fulfilling and joyful, while still being true to ourselves. We have been taught that the meaning of life is to work more, earn more, buy more and then maybe you’ll grow old enough to die surrounded by the hordes of possessions you have acquired. Unfortunately, for those that have centered their life around that, we don’t get to take them with us when we go. Fortunately for the rest of us, the ones who look beyond the material and into the deeper meanings of things, life is about more than that. Zoom out a bit, beyond ourselves, beyond others and even beyond the world we live in – then look backwards and all that will be found is a giant rock hurtling through space, with all of us along for the ride.

If I were to say that I’ve had an easy life that would be a bald-faced lie, though undeniably it hasn’t been the worst. I had a “normal” childhood, if you overlook the fact that my dad was an alcoholic and my mom diagnosed with major depressive disorder and anxiety. Unfortunately for myself I've inherited all those qualities and then some. After spending my twenties lost in my own personal miseries and fighting my way out of a severe opioid addiction, I became clean and clear headed for the first time. Less than a year after my newfound sobriety I became pregnant with my beautiful daughter, my miracle baby. I was always told by doctors that after I had Pelvic Inflammatory Disease the vast scarring left behind would prevent me from bearing children. They were wrong and I was blessed with the opportunity to be a mom when I thought that I never would. Now that my daughter has gotten older, seven years old – I find myself looking toward the future for the first time in a long time. I have the luxury to worry about all the little things and time to enjoy all those little things and the newfound happiness it brings me forces me to spend more time looking inward at myself, and what kind of example I am setting for her. This wonderful little girl has given life and hope back to me when I thought I had none. All my hopes for the future now lie in her and I strive to do more with my life so that I can provide her with a better start and more opportunities for the future than I ever had.

All my life I have been surrounded by people in my family that create beautiful, diverse, and clever works of art. My mother is a phenomenal artist, creative and bold with her illustrations and painting abilities. My grandmother on my dad’s side is an oil painter and watercolorist that could give Bob Ross a run for his money. My sisters all show an affinity for the creative arts in some way as well. Yet despite the abundance of talent and promise – not even one of us has ever taken these talents and used them to make more of ourselves. Art was always a side hobby, something to use and put aside as needed to make room for other things of more importance, such as getting a job or starting a family -- never something to work towards. Because of this mindset, I’d never given much thought to goal setting or being successful in a career previously in my life. But now that I am a mom to a beautiful little girl, I know that I must have a tangible plan and goals so that I can make our lives better. So that I can set an example for her, one that I was lacking in my youth, and help her forge her own path in life through my own example of success. I am at the point where I finally have an actual goal to strive for, something concrete to achieve. I will use my financial aid and hopefully this scholarship to work toward a Master of Fine Arts in Illustration and then put that degree to work in either Television/Film or Games as a conceptual artist. And, in doing so, create positive pathways toward success not just for myself but for my daughter and others that may follow.

Growing up in a small rural town, I was surrounded by the same demographic of people with the same ideas, even in my own home. Saying your piece, if different was frowned upon, and it never felt safe to have or talk about an alternative viewpoint. I was always shouted down if I shared a thought that did not align in the correct manner with that which was expected. It felt wrong, and I fought to know more, to understand more – more than what lay in my own backyard. I have always been a difficult person to get along with, I always tell it like it is and I am uncompromising in my morals and beliefs. I am strong-willed, with a loudmouth and too many opinions, so I've been told. Despite getting myself into occasional trouble, I will never lay down my morals or the truth for anything or anyone. I hold the belief that all beings matter, human or animal, and that all should be treated with respect, love and understanding. I am willing to always speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves and to always do or say the right thing no matter the cost. Over the years speaking my mind has become an integral part of me as a person along with doing what I think is right while never backing down -- no matter the pushback from others that you should just be quiet and go along with the crowd. Speaking your mind is about speaking up despite those that would remain oppressive towards your ideas, even our elders. Passing that strength on to others, to our children, helping them be open to new knowledge and ideas while also learning to be unafraid to speak your mind.

After high school, up until just before the COVID pandemic I let my art and talent peter out into virtual nothingness. In 2019, my employer held an art contest at our annual company picnic and strangely, I decided that I would create something to enter, as the grand prize was quite high. So, on a whim I decided to make a sculpture -- to my surprise, I won! Not just Best in Category, but also the honor of Best in Show. That moment, that unbelievable moment when I realized that I had beaten out all the others, that inspired me to draw myself up and become an artist again -- the artist I dreamed of becoming as a girl and given up on. It was such a life-changing moment and since that day I have spent every spare moment improving and trying to catch up on years of practice. Since then, I have reached a point where I’m not satisfied with being an unknown artist - I am not going to be happy until I make a name for myself. I will work up to a Master of Fine Arts in Illustration and then start work in T.V. and Film as a conceptual artist. I will see my name scrolling across theater and television screens around the world, to take what I have and use it to become more than the artists that came before me. Winning this scholarship would get me five-hundred steps closer to my goal. Five-hundred reasons for me to try harder and strive for more. Five-hundred ways to show all those that ever told me that I would never make it – that I will make it. That if I dare to do more, I can become anything, do anything that I could possibly imagine.

Spending most of my life living below the poverty line I never had much in the way of stuff to do that I did not produce on my own. Getting lost in the worlds created in my favorite books and all the adventures I could experience through the characters, even sometimes creating worlds of my own with pencil and paper – really helped me to escape the reality that I felt so trapped in as a child. As a woman reaching the end of my thirties, I still lose myself in stories and spend every waking moment in my studio tirelessly putting paint to canvas attempting to create an adventure of my own. I love to paint, watching the colors work together to make beautiful magic on the canvas, taking something so mundane as ground pigments and creating a new world to immerse myself in. The things that I do when I am left to my own devices, are my personal form of self-care. My spa day is replaced with a good novel, and when I put a paint brush or pencil to a canvas for the first time, I imagine the emotional equivalent of stepping into a hot tub, being immersed in warm water and bubbles, pure bliss. I do not think that I will ever grow up, and do you know what, that is okay. Staying in Neverland and choosing to never grow up, I hope I never lose that – I hope my same loves and hobbies follow me throughout my remaining years. I cannot imagine anything better.

Every day I wake up, get my daughter ready for school and then come back home to work on my art pieces until it is time to get ready and then go to work. I work at a “fancy” resort casino, and I spend my evening helping desperate, lonely, self-centered, and narcissistic people get more free stuff that they do not actually need. It is hard for me to find any hope for the future when my livelihood depends on the exploitation of vulnerable peoples -- the addicted, the elderly and the community at large. There is such a burden of guilt upon my conscience because of the nature of the business I work for, but unfortunately it is one of the best places to be employed for the “unskilled” worker because they offer phenomenal benefits and pay comparative to the other types of jobs for people like me. This is the reason I have decided to seek a different path for myself, one that is not built upon the suffering of others. When I walk through the door of my small apartment after a long day of misery, the mental strain is close to unbearable. I put my things down and go straight to my daughter’s room, I sit beside her, and just look at her beautiful face, peaceful and serene with sleep. I brush some of the hair from her forehead and reach down to give her a gentle kiss, on the forehead, so I don’t wake her up. During these moments, I would try my hardest not to think about all the awful things that I had either seen or heard about that day and the negative feelings that would come with them. Sitting there would make all of that disappear, it would just melt away with the beautiful feeling that being her mom brings me. Serenity, that is what she brings me and that is why I gave her that name. She also brings me boundless joy, lots of laughter and hope. Hope for a brighter future, not just for me but for every single life that hers will touch. Even at the youthful age of seven, she is such a kindhearted and caring individual, with the ability to make anyone smile. She is creative, smart, funny, and the biggest ray of sunshine that anyone could ask for. Even knowing that I am immensely biased when I talk about her, and how cliché it is to talk about how the children are our future, nevertheless, it does not make it any less true – she is my world, my future and when I look at her, I see a condensed version of everything good that I am and that will remain when I am gone. She is the future. Every single iota of her goodness, love, joy, intelligence, humor, hope, and kindness are all that give me hope for a better future.

All my life I have been surrounded by people in my family that create beautiful, diverse, and clever works of art. My mother is a phenomenal crafter and artist, creative and bold with her illustrations and painting abilities. My grandmother on my dad’s side is an oil painter and watercolorist that could give Bob Ross a run for his money. My sisters all show an affinity for the creative arts in some way as well. Yet despite the abundance of talent and promise – not even one of us has ever taken these gifts and dared to do more. My love for drawing and art started when I was little, I cannot remember a time in my life that art was not a part of it. I’ve always been able to draw, though in more recent years I have branched out into painting, mixed media sculpture, digital illustration as well as toy customization and design. I spend my free time working on commissioned paintings, working on projects for various contests and competitions, along with the personal projects that I do for my own enjoyment. My sculptures have been featured in galleries and I placed best in show as well as best in category in a single art show. I combine my art talents with my love for vintage toys from the 80’s and 90’s and I create custom toys for collectors and other vintage toy lovers from around the world. My talent for making art is so much more to me than just something that I am good at -- it’s the joy and happiness that my creations bring to others that drive me to keep creating and learning new techniques every day.

When I was in my early twenties my dad cheated on my mom, and it was devastating not just for her but for my younger sisters as well. I will never forget the day they pulled in the driveway, I could see my mom screaming and slapping my dad inside the car, he had just told her he didn’t love her anymore and was leaving. Shortly after he left a Sheriff’s cruiser pulled in, my dad had reported my mom for slapping him. After a long talk with the sheriff and many tears, my mom was taken away in handcuffs. I was left to care for my younger sisters, and she told me to take them to my auntie’s house for the night. I did my best to comfort and calm my sisters, the youngest being only nine years old. We made it to my aunt’s house and after eating dinner and a long difficult conversation with my siblings, I tucked them into bed. What sticks out in my memory the most is the looks of confusion and despair on my sister’s faces as I tried to explain to them why our family was ending. It was a lot that ended up on my shoulders and I found myself suddenly an adult. I picked up my mom from jail, I held her hand after she tried to kill herself by taking too many pills and took the gun away from her when I found her thinking about suicide a second time. What I experienced helped me to appreciate more those we call family, the importance of being there for each other and sticking together through thick and thin. Through that adversity I discovered the fortitude necessary to overcome any obstacle no matter how personal or painful.

After years of watching addiction destroy the lives of members of my own family, I always told myself that I would never let my life end up like theirs. In retrospect, it’s easy to say that it won’t happen to you -- until one day you wake up and you realize that it is happening. I wasted much of my early adulthood in drink and drugs in a misguided attempt to discover myself. As I got older, my addiction changed from trying to have fun, to trying to keep a sense of normalcy. After a series of injuries for which I was prescribed opioids for pain management, I suddenly found myself cut off from those medications and grasping for anything to feel better. I began drug seeking, specifically Oxycontin and other opioids to self-medicate. I spent about ten years on and off taking these drugs and I then reached a point where I was spending hundreds of dollars a day just to be normal. I was miserable, I felt like a failure and asked myself how I had ever let this happen to me. It takes many small, seemingly inconsequential steps to find oneself going the wrong direction but when one discovers they've reached rock bottom, with no way out – it just takes a big step in the right direction to begin the road to recovery. I've tried several recovery methods that didn’t work for me before, so I took a leap and decided to quit cold turkey. I went camping with a friend for a week, and as I lay there shaking, vomiting and defecating myself, I told myself that I wasn’t going to do this anymore, I was done. At the end of the week when I could move again, I walked into the ocean and as each wave washed over me, I felt genuinely better and for the first time in a long time, I had confidence in my ability to overcome my addiction. It wasn’t always easy, but that moment changed my life forever and everything else started to fall into place. Fortunately for me, I didn’t become pregnant with my first child, my daughter, until I was clean and sober for about a year. When she was born, everything changed and I am so grateful that I had been well established in recovery before she arrived; happy, healthy and screaming. All the pain and suffering that I went through during my addiction struggle has made me stronger as a person, and a mother. I have a greater understanding of what it takes to ensure that I supply a stable, healthy foundation for her life to begin. I’ve learned through these trials that the most important thing is to not give up and always keep trying, no matter how hard things may seem – there is always light after darkness. With addiction ravaging our towns and neighborhoods, I will use my talents and art education to show people that you can overcome any obstacle, no matter how large and insurmountable it may seem. I will show my daughter that we are not doomed by those that came before us, that we can break the vicious cycle of poverty and addiction even if we're unsuccessful the first or even twentieth time. I will show others that have become lost, as I once was, that there is still hope to be had, even if we can’t always see it. To show others that if I can recover after long years of pain and suffering to find happiness on the other side, anyone can.

Spending my entire life living near or below the poverty line has taught me the importance of the smaller things in our lives and how these small things and tiny precious moments with our loved ones are what happiness truly is. My daughter Serenity is my world, and my ultimate joy would be to spend every minute of every day with her. So much about her brings me happiness that I don’t have enough words to describe the elation that watching her grow brings me. She is the most amazing person I have ever met. Reading with her, teaching her and guiding her are some of my greatest triumphs. At seven years old she is developing more complexities to her personality every day and I am privileged to share that journey with her. She loves to read, and I love to read with her. She comes home from school excited to show me what she learned, and I am excited to see it and hear her tell me about it. She is amazingly creative and loves to draw and paint and make things and when we do it together, there's nothing better. She gets her creative, curious nature from me and is always underfoot when I am painting or drawing. I am an artist at heart and my paintings and illustrations bring me a great deal of contentment, but my true bliss lies in sharing my talent and love for art with her. When she sneaks up behind me just to tell me how much she likes what I’m working on and then grabs paper and pens so that she can join in, nothing feels better. She has brought so much completeness and joy into my life -- I can't imagine what happiness would be without her.

I've spent almost my entire adulthood trying to find a way in this world. In the past I have let others, their opinions and advice for what is best or “safe” guide my life. I wasted so much time giving credence to those that thought I shouldn’t pursue an art degree, that such a path would be useless and take me nowhere fast. While at the same time being praised for my talent and work. Yes, you’re good but how could you possibly create a living with that? Unfortunately for me, I listened, allowing years of criticism to decide my college choices. Due to lack of passion, I eventually lost interest in what I was trying to achieve, the result being failure. I have come to realize that I am not the sum of my failures – I am so much more than that, I have so much more to give than that, and I will not fail. All the troubled times and fear throughout my life have made me realize that I am stronger for them happening. That I can and will persevere, despite being almost forty years old and not yet obtaining that much-needed college degree. I will not let that, or anything hold me back. I am creative, talented and worth the fight that it will take to become successful in a way that makes me feel complete and fulfilled in my life. My value comes from my internal strength, and though it took me a long time to realize -- I do have the strength to succeed in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds.

Looking around at our world today it is hard to find things to be optimistic about – our society is ravaged by fear, doubt and division. We see it everywhere we go on the news and in our daily lives, indecisiveness over climate change, differences over the COVID-19 pandemic, the war in Ukraine, political opinions, race and sexuality issues etc. These problems have a stranglehold over everything in our lives and will continue to do so if we allow fear to reign unchecked. This is not the sort of world I wish to leave behind, not just for my own daughter’s sake but for the sake of all future generations. Without people to stand up and say, we will not be afraid, we will not let doubt guide us – there isn’t much of a future to look forward to, much less a legacy worth leaving behind. I will show my daughter, nieces and nephews, the world -- that letting your fear and doubt guide you is not the way. To prove that taking that seemingly easy route isn’t necessarily the best way to succeed. To be unafraid to follow our dreams, wherever they may take us, that through our own bravery and perseverance that we can better our lives and the world around us. Global and societal change will not fix itself overnight, our world isn’t likely to repair itself even in the next century. Instead of sitting back and letting the weight of our problems stop us from making tremendous changes, starting by bettering ourselves as individuals, the world around us will in effect become better as a side effect of our personal change. Not letting fear cloud our judgement is the way to better not just our own lives but the lives of others as well.

Growing up in a small rural town, I was surrounded by the same demographic of people with the same ideas, even including my own home. Having divergent thoughts and beliefs was frowned upon, and it never felt safe to have an alternative viewpoint. I was always shouted down if I shared a thought that did not align in the correct manner with that which was expected. It felt wrong, and I fought to know more, to understand more – more than what lay in my own backyard. I have always been a difficult person to get along with, I always tell it like it is and I am uncompromising in my morals and beliefs. I am strong-willed, with a loudmouth and too many opinions, so I've been told. Despite getting myself into occasional trouble, I will never lay down my morals or the truth for anything or anyone. I hold the belief that all beings matter, human or animal, and that all should be treated with respect, love and understanding. I am willing to always stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves and to always do the right thing no matter the cost. Over the years the meaning of community, to me, has become about doing what you think is right and never backing down, no matter the pressure received from others to just be quiet and go along with the crowd. Community is being better than those that came before and passing that on to others, to our children – being open to new knowledge and ideas. There is no progress as a community with a closed mind and an unwillingness to adapt. I do my best to always have an open mind and to take a step back and think critically about new ideas that come my way. I have a seven-year-old little girl and I believe that the best way that I can give back to my community is to raise her to be unafraid, to be fearless in the quest for knowledge and to always tell the truth even when it isn’t easy. I will show her that one person can make a difference in the community – with honesty, integrity and love towards every living thing. My vision for the future is a world that I am proud to leave my daughter. A future where animals are not a commodity to be used and abused, love is love, and freedom belongs to all. A future freed from greed, climate change or gone-to-pieces with fire, drought, disease, famine and hatred. Where the free exchange of thoughts and ideas takes place alongside a willingness to create open dialogue between all peoples no matter their differences. We cannot repair our broken communities through ignorance, division, hatred. We do it through knowledge, love and understanding of one another by asking the tough questions and seeking hard truths. It starts with being a better individual and through that example, opening the way to a better future.

Now that I have had seven years of mothering under my belt, I have come to realize that there is more to parenting than just the bare minimum of keeping them alive. You need to create pathways to a future for them that is better than your own. Before this I did not give too much thought towards going back to school again, I had all but given up on a better future for myself. I let life get me down but being a mother has made me realize that I need to be a better version of me, not just for myself but for her. Recently she has shown an affinity for painting and art just like myself, my mother, and my grandmother before her. I want to do all I can to help that love blossom and grow, I want to nurture her passions before life embitters her to world. When I overcome years of regret and failure and become successful in my own art education, I will prove to her that any obstacles can be overcome with persistence and love. To show her that I am not afraid to take the difficult path no matter how daunting. To be the best example of strength and courage for her that I can be — showing her that when the world tells you that you cannot, do it anyway. To never let fear and doubt guide your life, like I did for so long. Winning this scholarship would put me that much closer toward an art education, so that I can turn what I am passionate about into a career, creating financial stability for us, and most importantly, through my success demonstrate that no path is closed to you if you don’t give up. To show my little girl that yes, you can in fact follow your heart even if you must chip away at some rust first. I will show her, my Serenity, that you can be silly, wild and be yourself while still achieving greatness in your life.