The mindset that a person obtains affects the way that they perceive everyday life. The topic that a positive mindset will allow a person to see the world in a more clear, and uplifting way. In comparison, a negative mindset that will make someone more angry and irritable is a true and unfortunate lesson that must be learned. This topic is something that I myself began looking into during my sophomore year of high school. During that year, I encountered life challenging events that would grow me as a person; almost getting hospitalized for my eating disorder, getting my driver’s license, and my grandfather passed away. I developed intense depression and did not want to live anymore. However, I worked to change the mindset I was trapped in. The more I looked into the mindset that “food is fuel, and I need to eat or I’m not going to be able to walk the stage at graduation,” I slowly began to recover. When it came to my driver’s license, I realized that I had to put the work into becoming a good driver and to pass my test. My grandfather had been diagnosed with dementia in 2019, and watching him become a corpse of himself was mentally scarring, however being able to hold his hand during one of our last visits together, being able to help take care of him, and to have had the privilege of knowing such a great man was something I learned in time. The way the tiny voice inside of each person’s brain talks them through each and every situation and obstacle results in the way that they handle it, and the more positive it is, the better the outcome in the long run. I find this ideal captivating as an extremely observant person because the more I listen to people talk, the more I like to find out what their brain is thinking. What is causing them to be so down today? Unfortunately, some people don’t find joy in their lives, but when I do, I cling to it. Someone whom I turn to talk about these things with is my parents. Both of them have come from hardships throughout their lives and continue to face them today, but they do so with a smile on their faces. My dad has told me his stories of his life before he met my mom, and I sit there in awe of how he never thought he’d live old enough to fifty, let alone have a newborn at fifty. He told me that me and him are both ‘worth it’, so why not act like it because you only live once. My mom has encouraged me time and time again to have fun with what I’m doing and to enjoy myself, as you never know when that will be taken away from you. She had been married before she met my dad and had my older half-sister, Nicole. She worked tirelessly to provide for the two of them and she told me that she never stopped working so she could give Nicole and I better lives then she had growing up.They both have always been my biggest cheerleaders, and proven to me that even if things aren’t alright in the moment, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

129 million girls and women. That is the estimated number of girls globally who do not have access to any form of education. The circumstances limiting them include but are not limited too: government laws, poverty, child-marriage, religion and more. From my own personal experience, I have been lucky and blessed to have been born in a country where female education is not only legal, but also celebrated. I was born into a family of people that wanted me to succeed in all areas of life, even if they are not ‘traditional’. Education is important to me because not only am I learning and growing my brain and as a person, but also because millions of girls do not have the privilege for something I have seen as normality, and they see it rather as a dream. I have been in the public school system since kindergarten. Throughout my education years, I have continuously pushed myself to be the best student that I could be. Even though I was still young, the mere sight of seeing one of my grades slightly drop would send my heart racing. I have always tried to get ahead and set myself up for success. The librarians at my public library have known my name and what type of genre of books I was interested in that week. I have been inspired by my former accounting teacher, Mrs. Lori Capra, to continue my education in the field of business. Her class, my freshman year of high school, created a sense of love inside of me for the chaos and extremities of the business world. By taking a high school course in my 8th grade year, I was able to finish my foreign language requirements by sophomore year of high school, allowing my schedule to free up room for advanced placement courses. I have taken accelerated English honors, AP Seminar, AP microeconomics, and have been dual-enrolled through the local community college, Northern Essex, to work on getting college credits done. I am ranked 67th out of 444 students in my class, putting me in the top 15% of my class. I have been blessed to have these opportunities to achieve my goals. I am a first-generation college student, as both of my parents did not attend college. However, they have always been my biggest supporters. They have told me though, that it is my responsibility to handle the financial aspects of furthering my education to be able to getting my college degree, and to be able to succeed, I cannot be drowning in student loans. My goal is to be able to retire my parents and allow them to have a life that is comfortable for them. They have worked tirelessly to be able to provide for me, and I want to return it to them. This scholarship would help me to be able to not take out extensive student loans, to be able to reduce my total college costs so that this dream could become a reality. Challenges that I have faced include a discriminating school system, with guidance counselors not providing support to the first-generation students with continuous questions. I have had to fend for myself throughout my college application process, and throughout my high school experience in general. From working to be able to get the classes that I want to take, to facing teachers that should not have their teaching licenses-high school has been a consistent struggle. However, these challenges are minor in comparison to what women across the world have to face to try and get themselves an education. Education is important to me because there are millions of young girls and women who do not have these opportunities, who see these as a dream rather than a normality. I am fortunate enough to have an education and to be able to continue my education further throughout my life. The legacy that I hope to leave behind is for the first generation students, and the young women who are overachievers, to know that their hard work is worth it. The long hours studying, retaking tests because a grade was ‘too low’ for them, and the challenges of money. Teachers with inconsistent styling of teaching to counselors that do not want to do their jobs. All of it was worth it. I hope to be seen as an inspiration to other students, to put in the extra time and work, and that it will all pay off in the end. Thank you for your consideration.

129 million girls and women. That is the estimated number of girls globally who do not have access to any form of education. The circumstances limiting them include but are not limited too: government laws, poverty, child-marriage, religion and more. From my own personal experience, I have been lucky and blessed to have been born in a country where female education is not only legal, but also celebrated. I was born into a family of people that wanted me to succeed in all areas of life, even if they are not ‘traditional’. Education is important to me because not only am I learning and growing my brain and as a person, but also because millions of girls do not have the privilege for something I have seen as normality. I have been in the public school system since kindergarten. Throughout my education years, I have continuously pushed myself to be the best student that I could be. Even though I was still young, the mere sight of seeing one of my grades slightly drop would send my heart racing. I have always tried to get ahead and set myself up for success. By taking a high school course in my 8th grade year, I was able to finish my foreign language requirements by sophomore year of high school, allowing my schedule to free up room for advanced placement courses. I have taken accelerated English honors, AP Seminar, AP microeconomics, and have been dual-enrolled through the local community college, Northern Essex, to work on getting college credits done. I am ranked 67th out of 444 students in my class, putting me in the top 15% of my class. I have been blessed to have these opportunities to achieve my goals. I am a first-generation college student, as both of my parents did not attend college. However, they have always been my biggest supporters. They have told me though, that it is my responsibility to handle the financial aspects of furthering my education to be able to getting my college degree, and to be able to succeed, I cannot be drowning in student loans. My goal is to be able to retire my parents and allow them to have a life that is comfortable for them. They have worked tirelessly to be able to provide for me, and I want to return it to them. Education is important to me because there are millions of young girls and women who do not have these opportunities, who see these as a dream rather than a normality. I am fortunate enough to have an education and to be able to continue my education further throughout my life. The legacy that I hope to leave behind is for the first generation students, and the young women who are overachievers, to know that their hard work is worth it. The long hours studying, retaking tests because a grade was ‘too low’ for them, and the challenges of money. All of it was worth it. Thank you for your consideration.

129 million girls and women. That is the estimated number of girls globally who do not have access to any form of education. The circumstances limiting them include but are not limited too: government laws, poverty, child-marriage, religion and more. From my own personal experience, I have been lucky and blessed to have been born in a country where female education is not only legal, but also celebrated. I was born into a family of people that wanted me to succeed in all areas of life, even if they are not ‘traditional’. Education is important to me because not only am I learning and growing my brain and as a person, but also because millions of girls do not have the privilege for something I have seen as normality. I have been in the public school system since kindergarten. Throughout my education years, I have continuously pushed myself to be the best student that I could be. Even though I was still young, the mere sight of seeing one of my grades slightly drop would send my heart racing. I have always tried to get ahead and set myself up for success. By taking a high school course in my 8th grade year, I was able to finish my foreign language requirements by sophomore year of high school, allowing my schedule to free up room for advanced placement courses. I have taken accelerated English honors, AP Seminar, AP microeconomics, and have been dual-enrolled through the local community college, Northern Essex, to work on getting college credits done. I am ranked 67th out of 444 students in my class, putting me in the top 15% of my class. I have been blessed to have these opportunities to achieve my goals. I am a first-generation college student, as both of my parents did not attend college. However, they have always been my biggest supporters. They have told me though, that it is my responsibility to handle the financial aspects of furthering my education to be able to getting my college degree, and to be able to succeed, I cannot be drowning in student loans. My goal is to be able to retire my parents and allow them to have a life that is comfortable for them. They have worked tirelessly to be able to provide for me, and I want to return it to them. Education is important to me because there are millions of young girls and women who do not have these opportunities, who see these as a dream rather than a normality. I am fortunate enough to have an education and to be able to continue my education further throughout my life. The legacy that I hope to leave behind is for the first generation students, and the young women who are overachievers, to know that their hard work is worth it. The long hours studying, retaking tests because a grade was ‘too low’ for them, and the challenges of money. All of it was worth it. Thank you for your consideration.

The one thing that any child wants is to be able to grow up. When they finally grow up, the one thing that they want is to be able to be a child again. A vicious cycle of never being content with where you are in life, no matter the circumstances around them. It’s normal for a person not to be content on where they are, the want for more seems like a want in that time, until reality happens. Even with love, a person wants more love than they are giving out into the world, and yet, reality checks them each and every time. There is a saying that I have personally found to be life changing, “let go or get dragged”. The meaning behind it is to let go of someone or something, or get dragged with them, almost like a child dragging their old stuffed animal with them everywhere. The more grown up version is a girl being dragged by the one boy who they loved more than anything, as the boy continues to destroy himself, and her, in the process. In Mark Twain’s personal essay, titled “Two Views of the Mississippi”, he represents the let go or get dragged quote through his own version. To let go of his former life and see what else the world has to offer, or to continue to get dragged by what his life consisted of. Either way, he and the girl would both never be content on where they end up. Twain is trying to tell the reader that although change is terrifying, it is necessary in life, but the change will not make you content, and neither will staying the same. The everyday life of each person is different. The routines from the second they wake up until the second that they go to bed differ from life to life, that is what makes people unique. Change can be something as minor as a routine being adjusted in a small way, or even as extreme as someone losing their life. However, in Twain’s case, his former life before he became a riverboat pilot was a constant routine. Each day was the same, until he chose to do something about it. This change was not easy. His entire life was uprooted and not only did he have to readjust to a new life, he also had to grieve the one that he left behind. To make this decision, it took Twain a lot of bravery to prove that he would not get held down by his life, that he was not going to be another mindless creature living in his natural habitat. Admirable to leave his the only thing he had ever known, but only because of his success. Had he not been successful, the world would not know the name and the story of Mark Twain. In his personal essay, “Two Views of the Mississippi”, he wrote, “ It is the faintest and simplest expression the water ever makes, and the most hideous to a pilotʹs eye. In truth, the passenger who could not read this book saw nothing but all manner of pretty pictures in it, painted by the sun and shaded by the clouds, whereas to the trained eye these were not pictures at all, but the grimmest and most dread‐earnest of reading matter,” (Twain chapter 9). This is a comparison between two people, a passenger on the boat versus the pilot, the book is representing the water and how people can view it. The passenger does not see the true meaning within the book, only that it can be scary whilst being beautiful. This is Twain showing how people who do not see beauty in change for themselves, only in other people. The people who believe that change is scary, and hope to never experience it, whilst the pilot represents him, me, and anyone else who is brave enough to let go of someone, something, or even in Twain’s case, an entire life to see what the other side has to offer. The true beauty of living is change, and to be able to see the positive sides of it over the negative. As the story goes on, however, Twain goes to show that change is good, but it not only will never be the same as before, it too can lose its spark. The effects of boredom can lead to a person going to the extreme to relieve themself of this form of “torture”. To an extent, it can ruin a person’s life. On the positive side, it can save someone’s life. The water in this short story represents change, but Mark Twain does not mention a swimmer who chose to go into the river, and does not mention a person drowning in it. Something I was able to make out through his writing, though, is that a person who is drowning in the water is a person who is drowning in their life. Not strong enough to swim a little bit longer for help to come, not able to swim to the nearest log or rock, and not smart enough to fight back against the tide. This represents a person who is willing to stay in their “torturous” life, to never consider chasing the feeling of being content. This is a version of a person being dragged, rather than letting go. Almost every person in real life though, has been dragged. It takes a large amount of strength, ability, and intelligence to let someone go, however it must be done to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Twain wrote, “No, the romance and beauty were all gone from the river. All the value any feature of it had for me now was the amount of usefulness it could furnish toward compassing the safe piloting of a steamboat,” (Twain chapter 9). He was talking about a sunset here, a sunset that any normal person would see and fall to their hands and knees because of the beauty in it. To him, this was any normal sunset that he had seen for weeks. He became bored of it. He longed and yearned for his old life, for his old self that would have seen that sunset and tears would have been brought to his eyes. However, he knew he could never be that person again, and if he tried, it would never be the same. He was not content in that lifestyle, and now, he is not content in his new one. To make a real life connection, it was the same thing with me and this boy I thought was the love of my life. Pathetic, I am aware, but at the time, I could have pictured the rest of my life with him. I was only sixteen, and I thought that I knew everything, however I barely knew anything. Similar to Twain’s former life, he thought he knew everything about the river and changed before he actually did something about it. However, when I last saw the boy, after I had fallen out of love with him, I realized that my decision was necessary for me to continue chasing my dreams. It was a significant change in my life, one that I was not prepared for, and it had taken me a while to rebuild myself. Except, like Twain, who too had to rebuild a new life for himself, we both were not the same people as we were before. We were not content in our previous lives, and after getting settled into our new ones, we were still not content. Change in any form is terrifying. It disrupts one’s routine, one’s day, and one’s lifestyle. Change is also beautiful. It can create new dreams never to be thought of previously, it can bring excitement into one’s life, and shows that everything happens for a reason. In the end, change is a necessity in life, even if they are still not content with their lives after the fact. For Mark Twain, he knew that becoming a riverboat pilot was a necessity to bring a new sense of joy into his life, and although he was not content with it anymore, it brought him success that he needed. For me in my case, I knew that the love I had to give was necessary for him to heal him, even though it broke me in the end, and even though I chose to leave, to let go. I was able to focus on myself, and fix friendships, family relationships, along with becoming a better person in the end. In the essay, “Two Views of the Mississippi River,” Mark Twain compares two perspectives of the river, and what the underlying meaning of it is. He chose to destroy the person he was before to go after his dreams, he chose to change himself and his lifestyle, and most importantly, he chose to let go of his previous life. He wrote, “Now when I had mastered the language of this water and had come to know every trifling feature that bordered the great river as familiarly as I knew the letters of the alphabet, I had made a valuable acquisition. But I had lost something, too. I had lost something which could never be restored to me while I lived," (Twain chapter 9). This is the overall quote that Twain wrote to prove that change is terrifying but needed, however no matter what you choose, you will never be content. It’s in the human brain to be wired to want more, almost to the point of making it a need compared to a need. He grieved the person he was once, however he is no longer that person anymore. He will never be that person again, no matter how successful he became or how many achievements he made throughout his life, he lost his former life when becoming a riverboat pilot. He had his loss of innocence when choosing the grown up and mature option in life. For me, my loss of innocence was choosing to let go of the version of me who loved a boy who never loved me the way I needed, and would never be able to. I was able to create a new life for myself, build myself up brick by brick, however there is not a day that goes by where I do not think of my former self. Not the boy, because I knew I needed to let go of him, but for the girl who I was once. Naive, young, and innocent, but I would never go back to being her, and if I tried, it would be the same case for me as it would be Twain. It would never be the same. Mark Twain was successful in many aspects of his life, to get there though, there needed to be change. He needed to end the cycles and routines that controlled his everyday life, he needed to end being dragged like a child’s stuffed animal. To do this, he completely uprooted his life and started over as a riverboat pilot. He received a sense of freedom and control over his own destiny, finally being content on where his life was going. Alas, all good things must come to an end and the excitement that surrounded him eventually wore off. He was no longer content in the life he created. In the new life he created, he lost his innocence, and proved that he could be victorious in chasing his dreams. Twain made monumental progress and achievements, had he not changed his entire life and routine though, this would never have been possible. Change is needed, and to be successful, you must let go of what is dragging you down.

The mindset that a person possess shapes the way that they view everyday life, from something small like traffic in the morning, to something large such as a loved one passing. A positive mindset will allow a person to see the world in a more clear and uplifting way. During my sophomore year my mindset changed from a negative outlook to a positive one. I began receiving treatment for my eating disorder, which I had been battling silently for three years at the time. I realized when my friends would text my mom saying I haven’t been eating, and that the world around me was growing more concerned as I was shrinking into nothing, that I needed to do something. The more I embraced the thought that “food is fuel, and I need to eat if I want to walk the stage at graduation,” the more I began to recover. This mindset was the beginning of me taking my life back. Throughout this recovery, I faced many challenges and setbacks, one of the biggest ones being grief, and the loss of a loved one. My grandfather was diagnosed with dementia in 2019, and watching him become a corpse of himself was mentally scarring, changing my life forever. However, being able to hold his hand during one of our last visits together, being able to help take care of him, and to have had the privilege of knowing such a great man was something I learned in time. I remember looking at myself in the mirror when my bones would stick out much more than deemed healthy, the way my face looked like an unhealthy skeleton, and my body just looked like a corpse; similarly looking the same as my grandfather’s body looked the last time I saw him. The positive mindset method allowed me to see how his life was amazing, and that mine is amazing too. His was ending, and mine however, was simply beginning. That gave me the courage to recover. The way the tiny voice inside of each person’s brain talks them through each and every situation and obstacle results in the way that they handle it, and the more positive it is, the better the outcome in the long run. I find this idea captivating because the more I listen to people talk, the more I like to find out what their brain is thinking. What is causing them to be so down today? Is there a reason why they’re smiling more? Unfortunately, some people don’t find joy in their lives, but when I do, I cling to it. For a long time in my life, I had forgotten what joy had felt like, and now, I hope to never go a day without it again. The saying from the brand ‘Life is Good’, is “Life is not great, Life is not bad, Life is good.” Some days are harder than others, but if the worst thing that is going to happen to you is going to be you dropping your iced coffee that day, your life really isn’t bad.

Throughout my childhood, I was never able to settle on one dream career, much like I could never sit still or stop talking; more than that, it was the nightmares and intrusive thoughts about my success and the perfectly curated life that I designed for myself would not happen. I said that to my mom in the midst of a panic attack one day my sophomore year, and two weeks later I was diagnosed with anxiety. This diagnosis gave me clarity on how my brain is wired, and with the nightmare that I would not be successful in the future, it pushed me. My anxiety disorder did not limit me; rather, it became the driving force behind my exceptional work ethic and time management skills, transforming what most see as a weakness into my greatest strength for academic and personal success. Anxiety is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as “an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear marked by physical signs.” When I was in elementary school, I would sit silently in my seat as my palms began to sweat and I would become so nauseous over the concept that I would miss my bus home. I didn’t have a phone on me and I didn’t have my parents' numbers memorized. The logistics that the school would be able to get in contact with my parents never crossed my mind, rather that they would be more mad that I had missed the bus. This is just one of my numerous experiences that I have had before getting my anxiety diagnosis that made me realize something was not right. I have never once been sent to the principal’s office, nor received detention. Classmates from middle school used to say that I was a goody-two-shoes. Little did they know, the chemical imbalance in my brain had me convinced that one grade lower than an A- would end up with me failing, not just in school, but in life itself. Once high school came, there was an increase of anxiety about my grades, my personal life, and when I was able to work. The need for balance of everything in my life led to many panic attacks, a crucial caffeine dependency, and exhausting myself. Instead of allowing my anxiety to take control of my life, I used my schedule and my lack of time to become efficient. If an essay was due on Friday and assigned on Monday, it was submitted Tuesday night. The racing thoughts that I would fail a class or be stuck with a pile of homework while having work the same night would keep me awake at all hours. With work being completed early, I wouldn’t have to worry about it and it would stay out of my head. From experience, if I did not utilize my time wisely, I would never be successful. I enjoy my busy schedule, and being able to complete difficult assignments while getting great grades on them and maintaining my personal life created a productive version of myself. Two years later, I am still doing the same thing. To have time management, and be productive even when I feel lazy. I chose to create my own success, by turning what is seen to be a horrible thing, into a rich mindset. My education has always been my priority. My work ethic, time management, and adaptability from when I began high school until now have consistently proven my growth as a student and as a human being. My anxiety disorder held me back in many ways, but it also pushed me to become successful.