Every semester at my university is difficult for me. I get overwhelmed and contemplate quitting because it’d be easier and less costly. I’ve made it nearly halfway through my 4-year plan knowing that I wouldn’t be satisfied with a career that didn’t present a challenge, pushing me to do more. What makes each semester so difficult is the constant load of homework and note-taking I must do to achieve the grades I want. I could handle multiple assignments for a time, but after a few weeks, it seems like there’s no end to it. From the perspective of my friends and family, I overwork myself, but this is because I not only have the expected course load, but also, I have a job, I’m getting a minor, and I often take notes from the textbook instead of during lectures since I have difficulty paying attention. This deprives me of hours of my time I could spend on the things I want to do, like learning jiu-jitsu or volunteering at a cat shelter, or time I could spend with my friends, watching movies and going to concerts. To get through it all, I have to constantly remind myself my struggles are only temporary and that I have what it takes to overcome them. I’m determined to see that I accomplish my goals to the best of my abilities.

When I was in my senior year of high school, the first picture of a black hole was published. I had been taking physics my senior year, and at the time, we were discussing general relativity. The instructor explained to my class theories on how black holes worked using general relativity. The picture of the black hole was like proof to me of something out there that was still unknown, and it sparked an interest in astrophysics. By then, I had already decided that I wanted to major in Forensic Chemistry, but I could easily see myself going a different route and enjoying an education in physics, as well. My interest never quite disappeared as I am once again taking physics and finding that I’m enjoying learning the new, advanced material that includes the basics of what I learned in high school. The same picture that caught my interest in high school showed up again just a few weeks ago when my instructor presented it to the class while teaching our last unit.

One of the hardest times for me was my senior year of high school when I was also working two jobs. It was a stressful experience, and it felt endless. There were some hard lessons to learn, but I persevered through it all. To do so, I had to remind myself constantly that whatever I was going through was only temporary and that this too would pass. This wasn’t always enough, so I had to stay confident in my ability to accomplish anything I set my mind to. Negative thoughts would discourage me from my tasks, so I became aware of the type of thoughts I was having and made a conscious effort to deny them. It’s a process of correcting my train of thought and keeping it from spiraling out of control and hurting me. Learning this helped preserve my mental health, and it’s a skill I can continue to use when I come up against other hardships, such as months of continuous college assignments.

When I was a teenager, I felt conflicted over my religious beliefs. I grew up in a Christian household, and my mom ensured that my brothers and I went to church every Sunday when I was younger. She pushed all of us to be active in our beliefs even when we would’ve rather done something else. By doing this, I felt that she was taking my choice away from me, and I began to resent taking part in religious ceremonies. I consider a person’s religious beliefs to be a significant part of their identity, and I believe practicing a religion when someone does not believe in what they’re practicing to be disrespectful. While I had initially had faith, this changed when my feelings became the focus of my experience and I felt Christianity was something I no longer wanted to be a part of. It took me some time to become comfortable with my change in opinion as my mother’s opinion of me was especially important to me and I hadn’t wanted to disappoint her. I decided it would’ve been better to be honest to myself and honest in my actions and that it would make for a healthier relationship with my mother if I could do away with the building resentment over being pushed into a certain religion. I know that I have disappointed her by giving up Christianity and the conflict between the two of us hasn’t quite resolved itself since she sometimes assumes I still attend holy ceremonies and pray despite discussing my changed beliefs with her on multiple occasions. By going through this experience and continuing to face problems over my new beliefs, I believe I have a greater respect for other people’s religious beliefs. I think I had had a similar mindset to what my mother now has for atheists when I was Christian, and these thoughts I’ve had seem condescending now. I can’t stand to think there are other people who think of me in this way, and I no longer feel comfortable with having these kinds of thoughts regardless of whom I’m thinking of and their religion. I wouldn’t want anyone to go through what I’ve gone through, and for a time, I truly was Christian, so I know that my certainty in my beliefs does not necessarily mean that I’m correct in what I believe in. I expect that I will continue to experience difficulties with others over my beliefs but that I’ll become more adept at overcoming these hardships with my experience.