"Quiet, isn't it? George Michael Dolenz..." Anyone who knows anything about 60s music knows about the Monkees. And anyone who knows about the Monkees should know about their 1968 film Head. And anyone who has seen Head knows it is one of the best films of all time... probably. How can I even begin to describe this enigma of a motion picture? An unintelligible mix of belly-dancing girls and empty Coca Cola machines. A confusing tale of dandruff commercials, suspicious factories, and Frank Zappa with a talking cow. Peter sits still in a diner, contemplating a melting ice cream cone, while Davy comes face-to-eye with a Lovecraftian horror just behind a bathroom mirror. I'm sure my attempt to describe it does little to help my case. Maybe it truly is one of those "see-it-and-believe-it" features. Maybe hearing the Monkees' music backing the whole thing improves the experience. Or maybe, it's entirely my situation that led me to love this masterpiece of a film. Picture me: a high school junior still obsessed with the Beatles in 2022. With that knowledge, it may not be hard to understand the additional information that I was never the best at relating to other people around me or maintaining meaningful friendships. As a self-isolating nerd still suffering from the impact of COVID-19, I turned to music, as many others do, to get me through. My choices tended to be anachronistic, so it was no surprise when I finally lent my ear to the Monkees craze. I sped through their early discography and binged the series, which was chock full of crazy antics and comedy surprisingly in line with modern humor. Being so grateful for all the laughs the show had given me, I followed this up with their film Head. I was in for a shock. Though the series does get more surreal and self-referential toward its final episodes, the film is way darker and more complex. It's hard to imagine a Monkees episode containing actual graphic Vietnam War footage or a swami differentiating reality from the vividly imagined. The movie opens and ends with Micky jumping off a bridge, for crying out loud! I can only imagine the horror of the band's teenybopper fans entering the theater for a rated-G movie, only to be met with their beautiful Davy receiving a bloody right hook. For me, however, it was love at first sight. And third sight. And tenth (in one year). Head was not just a film to me. It was an experience that required me to scribble out a timeline (that ended up resembling a circle). It was a gateway leading me to develop my current love for experimental films, from Sedmikrásky to Eraserhead. As enigmatic as it was, I still found relatability in the film. Seemingly ending as it starts, it not only reminded me of the Monkees symbolically trapped in their fame, but of my own cyclical habits at the time. Micky silencing his thoughts reminded me of how stuck I would get in my own mind. As comedic as it is, it still managed to affect lonesome me. I recently rewatched it for the first time in over a year. I still know all the lyrics. I can still quote it by heart. But I am different now. I've reached out to people, made connections, pushed myself way out of my comfort zones. The movie ends the same way it always does. But I am different.

The photos featured here are all part of a recent personal project shot on 35mm film, seeking to portray my city through my own eyes. Before this, I hadn't really been able to walk around by myself, whether it was because of my family's concern over my safety or my own fear of the outside world preventing me from going out. The limitations of film photography pushed me to find things that really caught my eye, which ended up altering my perspective. I mainly focused on scenes devoid of human life that still had a touch of human influence, mainly in the form of graffiti. I live in the San Fernando valley of California, in a lower-income, densely populated area; I always felt there was such a difference from other places nearby, like Hollywood. I've lived here all my live without feeling a real connection, so I chose to specifically find empty and/or mostly abandoned buildings to echo how I felt. The second photo is of a Montgomery Ward that has been empty since before I was born. It's been somewhat a constant of the changing landscape and demographic of the city, albeit a somewhat depressing one. The third photo is that of a dumpster near my house that I nearly always see. It's definitely lewd, but it always interested me and reminds me of the bit in The Catcher in the Rye where Holden scratches out some offensive vandalism from an elementary school. However, the first photo I included strikes me the most: a decrepit sign, high above everything else, with graffiti sprayed on it. I'm not entirely sure if that quote is a reference to something (perhaps a bit of stoner humor) but it did made me think. I learned a lot from this project, and I was able to capture the aspects of my surroundings that I could relate to, finding beauty in the mundane and significance in the ugliness.

Education. Hard work. Family. These are the three core values my grandparents and mom brought from the Philippines to America, the same values they instilled in me from a young age. When I want to truly understand these principles, I have to look no further than the members of my own family. My lola, a doctor in Angeles City, worked hard to serve her community. My lolo, working overseas in the Middle East, worked hard to serve his family. My mother, a single mother working in laboratory services, works hard to be able to raise me and give me a proper education. Through their hard work and dedication, they gave back to those they cared for the most. Thus, I have been inspired to do the same with my own education. Growing up and hearing these three core principles, I began to live them in my own life. Even from elementary and middle school, I sought to do the best I could in my studies. Despite the COVID-19 pandemic interrupting my eighth grade year, I pushed on and kept my drive into high school. Throughout high school, I have balanced my numerous honors, AP, and dual-enrollment college courses with choir, art club, and, most recently, broadcast journalism. Though this may appear to be a tremendous workload for some people, I instead see it as a necessity to open new opportunities: namely, a college education at a meritorious institution. Pursuing different courses in high school has also opened my eyes to fields of study I may be interested in pursuing at a higher level. However, above all, I have developed an interest and skill in mathematics. I am currently taking both AP Statistics and AP Calculus BC in my senior year. In addition, I am interested in math-based majors and future careers. To be truthful, I have no concrete idea for what my future may hold for me. Though I have the vague idea of pursuing something related to mathematics, I am not yet sure what this specifically may be. Despite that, I will remain industrious and enthusiastic with wherever my studies take me. Further, despite not having a clear idea of how I will get there, I have one important goal: to be able to give back to my family members who have worked to get me to where I am today. Without their support and own dedication, I would not be getting the experiences I am living today, nor would I even be able to consider college education. In addition, two people have come into my life in the recent years that have only further pushed my ambition: my two younger cousins. It has been so inspiring to seem them grow and change over the years. Seeing these young children, it feels as though I am in a similar position as my grandparents and mother were when I was young. I want to give them as much support as I can and instill the very same values I was given as a child. Above all, I want to give back to my family, making the world a better place for them to be.