“I paint not the things I see but the feelings they evoke in me” – Odilon Redon Last year, 2024 was one of the worst years of my life. A dark cloud seemed to find a permanent position in not only my mind but in those of my immediate family. What once was a peaceful household, became overly tense and stressful. So much so that I lost my desire to create. My mom stressing over monetary concerns, my dad working day and night for a job he wasn't technically hired in yet, my uncle unexpectedly forced to live in his car in the dead of winter, and me trying to balance an overwhelming combination of mandatory classes and expectations that nearly pushed me over the edge. My mental state shattered, and my grades plummeted. In my mind, I was dooming my life before it even truly started. Life itself was looking more like a burdensome chore than something to look forward to. But this year a strong sense of optimism and determination blossomed. My dad got hired after three long years, my uncle found a home, my mom became less tense and started smiling normally again, I got the rest I very much needed. Which inspired me to make the piece I’ll show you today. Something to physically represent the resilience. Reminding me throughout this new year that at the end of every long dark tunnel there truly is a light. Since I was very young, I’ve always enjoyed imagining my characters and building the worlds they lived in. Learning how to draw and paint triggered new levels of curiosities, making me wonder about all the possible methods I could use bring my characters to life. As I’ve kept and nurtured the passion, I’ve discovered and learned many ways to create. Some of my favorites being 3D printing, sculpting, clay, and resin work. This brings me to my favorite piece. My prayer warrior. A 3D printed poseable figurine designed and sculpted completely by me. Decorated with “porcelain” paper armor and framed with intricate gold clay details. Each piece of armor is filled with scriptures and words of encouragement. The armor being made to look like paper represents how something as seemingly delicate as words or a hug could be just the thing to protect you from falling over the edge. When designing the character, the sayings “prayer warrior” and “guardian angel” wouldn't leave my mind. I decided to build off of that, giving her four golden wings and an angelic, powerful expression. As I write this, she sits on my dresser, the sun reflecting off of the gold, making her appear as if she’s glowing. It took me a while to figure out how to make the tiny baroque embellishments. I ended up having to stick lumps of clay sections of silicone molds, then put them in the freezer. This made it so the clay would be hard enough to be peeled from the mold but soft enough to be formed onto the armor. I used metal gold leaf to coat all of the pieces, then everything was coated with either resin or varnish. Her long hair was actually from a beauty supply store. It worked perfectly because it was already straightened, and it was only 35 cents. One of her most important details is the bag she carries. It’s filled with the real things I pray for and wish to accomplish in my life. My mom's health, my family’s safety, a career that enables me to help others, and the continued thrive of my creative passion.

I come from a small tight family unit. It’s just my mom, dad, a little white dog named Cotton, and myself. Many times, we feed off of each other's moods because were so close. Most of the time this is great because we’ve built a little bubble of support. Building each other up and another is down. last year though, was one of the toughest years we’ve faced together. My mom, stressed over money problems as prices continued to grow, my dad overworked from a job without health benefits or days off, and I, overwhelmed with the weight of a nightmare class schedule and unrealistic expectations. Grades falling, so much so I thought I would have retake classes. My future felt like it was crumbling in my hands, and I had somehow unknowingly been the one to kick the one rock that was holding it all together. A negative fog had taken its place in the household for majority of the year. Home was no longer a home; it became a prison. I found myself closing my eyes at night praying that if I never opened them again, that I would at least drift off peacefully. I always woke up the next morning with conflicting emotions. Life became the “life sentence”. Prayers seemed more like messages left on read. Faith was the only thing keeping us all going. Knowing that if we just kept pushing through somehow this pain would end. The storm clouds would lift. Our raining tears would have reason to stop. Continuing to pray at every moment we could muster the strength to. Then it all went silent. The first day of 2025 my dad was officially hired. To say the least, things began to get better from there. My mom's stress was extinguished, my dad took some time to finally rest, and I somehow discovered that I passed the classes I was so convinced I had failed. It may seem small to some, and I find that it gets hard to explain the true goodness of God in times like these. Words just can’t put you in the moment, make you feel that level of thankfulness. I take my experience last year as a giant test. God’s way of making sure we still thank him even in the dark times. I plan on keeping this in my heart as I move forward with navigating my way through the world. Remembering how I was still protected and kept even when it felt like my prayers were being ignored. I want to spread the message and help others when in their facing challenging times. God’s timing is nothing less than perfect, I now believe than more than ever. As time goes on, I want to take more risks, seek out more opportunities, push myself out of my comfort zone, knowing that at the end of the day God will open the doors that I’m meant to go through. This scholarship has given me a chance to write out things in ways I've never felt free to write about before. Reminding myself how truly dark my mindset was then and seeing now how far he's brought our situations. Even for that I'm thankful.

From my passions to how I interact with the world around me, both of my parents have definitely influenced me the most. When I take a step back and compare my parents and I, it’s almost eerie. My mother is what we would call “the family seamstress”. She almost always has her face stuffed in a sewing machine or her eyes glued onto a piece of fabric, mind fidgeting with the possibilities. I’m very much involved with her projects. From helping pick out fabrics to being spun around and fitted for a new piece of clothing. Every morning, she grabs one of her sewing machines and places it on the kitchen table. The fabric being devoured and her fingers feeding the beast. Most times, she doesn't even eat breakfast before she devotes herself to the day's project. Oddly enough she is pretty much the complete opposite of my dad. He always has his fingers typing away on a computer, or, in these modern times, swiping on a screen. I was pretty much involved with technology since the second I was born because of him. He spends his day working on his computer typing away his code and doing what I used to call his “spy work”. Even though I was taught a little bit of coding in school I can never decipher the jumbled letters and numbers on his computer screen. Even after hours of working it is very easy to find him playing around with a gadget and keeping himself up to date with the newest technologies. I ended up being both. My interests and passions intertwine the ways of traditional art and that of technology. Sometimes I’m hunched over the makeshift work desk in my room, sanding plastics or carefully performing a ballet with my paintbrush. Other days my face is glowing from my computer screen as I spend the darkened hours of the day editing or sculpting. My room itself is enough to show the true blend of my two parents. Fabric draped here; various computer accessories tangled there. My hobbies, as you may be able to tell, also vary. Working with Polymer clay, digital illustration, traditional illustration, digital sculpting, content creation, painting and of course sewing and crochet. With me learning the skills required for these hobbies a giant root system had formed, pretty much connecting all of them into one. Each skill bettering and fusing with the next. The smell of glue filling my room, the hum and squeaks of the 3D printer, little eyeless heads speckled throughout my room. Because creating is something I quite literally can't go without, I've found something that combines all of my creative urges. I design and make my own ball jointed figurines and document the process of making each character on my YouTube Channel. (You will of course see examples of my work in the pictures and link I’ve provided.) With this I'm able to beautifully weave together what I've learned over the years with new things I learn along the way. This in itself has helped me build my confidence, determination and excitement to show the world what really is possible when engineering technologies and artistic skills come together. My passion for making things no one had seen before or bringing a new perspective to the things they have is where I thrive. After I graduate, I want to be able to bring a new wave of ideas to any artistic job I hope to have the honor of finding myself in.

My passion for art is forever evolving. Starting off, I used to just do drawings, doodles, and a few finished illustrations here and there. Now, I've learned the true extent to which reality can be manipulated. I'm going to be honest with you. I'm not the best writer when it comes to talking about myself. I struggle very much with showing my passion for creating through words. It feels limiting. I prefer to let my art and how I function daily do the talking. Even so, I'm not going to feed you the cliché "I was born with a paintbrush in my hand" speech. While not being born immediately into art, It's not uncommon for my hands to be stained an obnoxiously unnatural color or for my room to be filled with that signature E6000 glue smell. 3D printing, resins, and various clays are all part of me now. (In more ways than one.) So much so, that If I don't create something for so long I will fall into a mental state like death itself. It's like I lose the motivation to live. Simple tasks become bothersome. The "what's the point" thought embeds itself into my brain. It's not fun, to say the least, and it takes some strength the pull myself out of the depressing abyss. Creating is quite literally my fuel. Funny enough, My style of creating is quite a combination of both my mom and dad. My mom represents the creative right side of the brain while my Dad depicts the logical left. My mom is the master seamstress of my house. Face always stuffed in one of her sewing machines or marveling over fabrics. Interfacings, brocades, and even various types of yarn are all things my mom has introduced me to. My dad on the other hand is quite technical. He's more fascinated with how he can make technology bend to his will. He's the one who started me on digital art by getting me an iPad and triggering my love for digital sculpting and 3D printing. Because of the influence of my parents, I use both the left and right sides of my brain when creating. My art is a mix of my logical, engineering side and my wild, emotional, creative side. When it comes to my financial situation all I can say is my family is far from rich. My parents try to hide their worries but they forget I've been around them too long not to pick up on when the pressure is high. College extracts a heavy toll as Thanos would say. The noose just keeps getting tighter. With the lack of a better word, they're decaying, I'm decaying. The stress that our financial situation combined with even the slightest thought of tuition is weighing down on us more than I ever expected. I'm trying my best to help out. Anything to loosen the grip. I would say the mental battle the finances bring is where my troubles reside. I mean, it's a little hard to create when the curse that is money echoes around your head like a boomerang.

My art passion simply comes from curiosity and the realization of what is possible with my own two hands. I remember when I was younger I wished that I could make my own Barbie. One with the perfect shade of long pink hair and a face that shimmered with glittering makeup. I for a long time thought the only way this would be possible is if I would somehow have access to Mattel's factory and begged them to make my dream doll. At the time I was limited by the idea that things could only be made in a factory or with gigantic expensive machines. I had no idea about the products and tools that could and would soon be available to me. A little later on in life, I began to find my love for drawing. This is when I truly began to understand the power of creativity. From one sketch alone I had the power to make shirts, mugs, fabric, and almost anything I wanted and I didn't need a factory to do it. If I wanted to all I had to do was find the right materials and I could bring a design to a whole different dimension. My awe and love for art grew sunstantanaly when I discovered what I could do in the third dimension. I stumbled on a video showing someone customing an old doll and turning it into something new. No factory needed, I could make any kind of doll I wanted with my own two hands. This was the moment that truly changed everything. I could not only manipulate a pen and paper and draw what I wanted but now I realized I had the power to create whatever I wanted. I will never get tired of the amazing things you can do with the power of engineering and art. Now, I can not only make my dream doll but make a doll that looks like glass. (which I did). Two artists who have inspired me are Martina and her Boyfriend Hansi. They own a channel on YouTube called "NerdForge". I've been watching their video for years now. They create some of the best dioramas and fantasy-styled things I've seen and they use a combination of a lot of the skills I am teaching myself. With each video, they increase their skill levels in a variety of things and show how to achieve certain looks in ways I've never seen before. Watching their videos has not only encouraged me to challenge myself to make the thing I never thought I could but they have also shown me other ways to think.

I want to hold in my hands the worlds that live in my head. I am a mixed media artist that is obsessed with the magic behind creating things with my hands. Going through the process of bringing things from my imagination out in a visual form, 2D or 3D, has always been something I treasured. I enjoy seeing how people design and come up with new and interesting creatures that no one has seen before. This has resulted in my strong passion for coming up with and writing my own stories, which I've enjoyed since I was very little. My art has pushed me to learn a lot and that knowledge constantly develops as I'm exposed to new technologies and techniques. I’ve learned how to use polymer clay, Apoxie Clay, epoxy resin, laser cutters, 3d printers, digital art software, and various traditional mediums. As I mentioned before I do like to come up with my own characters so I'm always pushing myself to find ways to tell the stories I want to show. Being creative and making art is part of my daily life at this point and i want to continue to share my world in any way I can learn how and enjoy. For a couple of years now I've been teaching myself how to sculpt (and attempting to learn the animation secrets) in a 3D fabrication program called "Blender". So far I've successfully taught myself to make poseable figurines, which can be printed with resin or filament 3D printers. I made one recently in which I challenged myself to bring my glass robot character, Beltrinus, to life. I even made a YouTube video showing the entire process of how I made him. (In case you're curious: @ 2BeeSweet.) My two big artistic goals are to be able to animate my stories and grow my youtube channel to show and inspire others to just create!

Volunteering has changed my mindset in the sense that I'm now more aware of the thing and choices I make in my life. With the opportunities that I've been offered, I've been exposed to scary and concerning realities of some people's lives and the current state of some areas in Chicago. During one of the volunteering events I went to, I was surrounded by 4 women for 14 hours straight and in those hours I got a clear understanding of the horrific events that occurred in their lives. Murder, Shooting and betrayal was not a minor factor in their daily lives. For me being a very sheltered kid I was kind of shocked and disturbed exspeccially since these women didn't live too far from me. At first glance, you would think that these women just lived in a rough neighborhood, but continuing to listen to their stories, I began to see just how much the people you surround yourself with impact your life. So unexpectedly I left that day with more than a bad cold, I left with a life lesson. Life isn't always going to be butterflies and unicorns, everyone knows that firsthand. But what these women reminded me was to be careful of the sometimes invisible toxicity levels of others. If you get yourself in the wrong crowd your life will rot. While I'm grateful that my family doesn't experience this level of trauma and violence every day, we have been going through a lot lately when it comes to finances. My parent try to hide their stress from me but I can tell that even the remote idea of figuring out how to pay for my college education stresses them out. Unfortunately, money doesn't grow on trees. My Dad has been working hard at a job that still won't hire him for almost 3 years after he was laid off from his previous job in the middle of the pandemic. Because they haven't officially hired him he doesn't get any benefits that would usually be included if he was. This means we pay for healthcare and other important things completely out of pocket, which we all know in this day and age can get quite expensive. My mom hasn't worked in about 10 years. She was also laid off from her job, but at the time it was a good thing because we got to take the time to take care of my grandmother who died later that year. Fortunately, my dad had a secure enough job then that we could keep my mom home. Now, things have gotten more expensive. Due to the amount of stress that has been weighing our family down for many months, she's got a job at Joan's to try and help out with the burden of life's expenses. I can not bare watching them deteriorate from the weight of all the stress and anxiety lately and things just keep coming up. Any bit of assistance we can get to reduce the toll of my college education would take some pressure off. So yeah, this scholarship would help in ways I can't even express.

I am a mixed media artist that is obsessed with the magic behind creating things with my hands. Going through the process of bringing things from my imagination out in a visual form, 2D or 3D, has always been something I treasured. I gain a lot of my inspiration and motivation to create from watching fantasy and sci-fi movies. They are a way for me to break free from the stresses that come with reality. I enjoy seeing how people design and come up with new and interesting creatures that no one has seen before. This has resulted in my strong passion for coming up with and writing my own stories, which I've enjoyed since I was very little. My art has pushed me to learn a lot. I’ve learned how to use polymer clay, Apoxie Clay, epoxy resin, laser cutters, 3d printers, digital art software, and various traditional mediums. Using this knowledge is how I like to give my characters more depth. I like to experiment with my art and learn new things as I go. I am choosing to pursue an education in the arts because that is what I am most passionate about. I feel I'll be on a good track for life if I push toward getting a career that has a connection with something that I love to do. Life is too short for me to waste time doing something I'm not fully invested in. As I mentioned before I do like to come up with my own characters. Well, In the digital realm, I like to and hope to continue learning new methods of bringing my characters to life. For a couple of years now I've been trying to teach myself how to animate and sculpt in a 3D fabrication program called "Blender". So far I've successfully taught myself (and have become obsessed) with sculpting my own poseable figurines, which can be printed with resin or filament 3D printers. I made one recently in which I challenged myself to bring my glass robot character, Beltrinus, to life. I even made a YouTube video showing the entire process of how I made him. (In case you're curious: @ 2BeeSweet.) My next goal which I plan to tackle this summer is teaching myself how to animate my 3d figures in the same program. I've played around with 2D animations in Procreate but I want to bring even more depth to my characters and make them move, maybe even speak. Knowing my own artistic tendencies, I have a feeling that I will then want to learn how to fully animate scenes and put together a mini-movie or series. In other words, I have lots of plans for the projects I want to accomplish in the digital world I'm hoping to be able to learn as much as I can in my spare time and when I start school in the fall.

People who have inspired me are Martina and her Boyfriend Hansi. They own a channel on YouTube called "NerdForge". I've been watching their video for years now. They create some of the best dioramas and fantasy-styled things I've seen and they use a combination of a lot of the skills I am teaching myself to make them. With each video, they increase their skill levels in a variety of things and show how to achieve certain looks in ways I've never seen before. Watching their videos has not only encouraged me to challenge myself to make the thing I never thought I could but have also shown me other ways to think. In most cases, there is more than one way to achieve the result I want in the crafting world. In many ways, they've shaped how I view creating things. Detail matters and the more effort you put into a project the better the outcome. No matter how long it takes, working hard to achieve the result you want whether it seems impossible or not is worth it. patience is key. Because of this channel and the skills they have exposed me to I am now pushing myself in many areas of my hobbies to make better, sturdier, and more epic creations. I find myself no longer having a simple project as my default setting. I love challenging myself now. I like when I'm faced with an obstacle that I have to engineer my way around. It may take a while to figure out or build up enough confidence to dive in head first but that's all part of a growing creative lifestyle. I truly love working with my hands and literal blood sweat and tears go into everything I make. The effort is a big part of my creative process and analysis. My favorite experience in my art journey so far is finding the doll customizing hobby. It may sound like nothing at first but let me explain. This one hobby has exposed me to more than I ever thought. Through this singular passion, I have been introduced to 3d Printing, laser cutting, polymer clay, and 3D digital sculpting. It has also pushed me to into improving my digital art and gain enough confidence to start my youtube channel. The hobby has truly changed my whole art experience. I used to be just into alcohol markers but now I'm into working with and exploring many different mediums. I feel now, with being exposed to so many cool techniques and materials that the possibilities of what you can create are endless.

I am a mixed media artist that is obsessed with the magic behind creating things with my hands. Going through the process of bringing things from my imagination out in a visual form, 2D or 3D, has always been something I treasured. I gain a lot of my inspiration and motivation to create from watching fantasy and sci-fi movies. They are a way for me to break free from the tension that comes with reality. This scholarship would help my family and me immensely. We've been going through a lot lately when it comes to finances. My parent try to hide their stress from me but I can tell that even the remote idea of figuring out how to pay for my college education stresses them out. Unfortunately money doesn't grow on trees. My Dad has been working hard at a job that still won't hire him for almost 3 years after he was laid off from his previous job in the middle of the pandemic. Because they haven't officially hired him he doesn't get any benefits that would usually be included if he was. This means we pay for healthcare and other important things completely out of pocket, which we all know in this day and age can get quite expensive. My mom hasn't worked in about 10 years. She was also laid off from her job, but at the time it was a good thing because we got to take the time to take care of my grandmother who died later that year. Fortunately, my dad had a secure enough job then that we could keep my mom home. She was able to recover from the recent loss and overall my tight-knit family's relationship got even tighter. Now, things have gotten more expensive. Due to the amount of stress that has been weighing our family down for many months, she's got a job at Joan's to try and help out with the burden of life's expenses. I too am working on finding some way to make some money. Anything to get my parents to smile more and enjoy life without being smacked in the face with money issues. Not going to college is not an option for me. As much as I would love to attack the next phase of my life slower, my parents are determined to put me on my college journey now. They want to make sure I have the best chances for a successful future. And while I appreciate it and want nothing but to make my parents proud I can not bare watching them deteriorate from the weight of all the stress and anxiety. Any bit of assistance we can get to reduce the toll of my college education would take some pressure off. So yeah, this scholarship would help in ways I can't even express.

My parents have been the biggest influences in my life. From the very beginning, they took the time to understand me and help me reach my goals. I can't even express how much value they place in my life. They continue to encourage me as I move through this next phase in my life and they've already expressed their support for when I graduate college by helping me plan and discuss options for that next big life step. When I graduate I hope to in some way bring back enjoyment and quality in the entertainment industry. I would like to do that by continuing to grow my youtube channel (2BeeSweet) and or working behind the scenes of movies and tv shows. With the growing ability of technology and the promotion of creativity as a whole, I think that I will be able to bring a different look to how we produce entertainment and the designs of the characters and storylines included. I think nowadays it very common that movies and tv shows are made without the passion for details like they used to. We now run into the problem of unreasonably bad CGI or characters and storylines that just lack depth. As someone who likes to create her own stories and character and a consumer of all types of entertainment, I think that I will be able to provide a refresher to entertainment, whether that be working with a small detail or working on bigger aspects of the entertainment industry. Detail matters and I would be happy to help in any way I can. I believe my artistic lifestyle is unique because I constantly use a combination of engineering skills and art skills to create my pieces. From laser cutting to 3D printing, 3D fabrication methods is now embellished in my creative process. Thinking in new and inventive ways is something I practice daily with the growing amount of hobbies I like to participate in. There is more than one way to solve a problem and that's what I like to explore. For one of my characters recently I had the idea of making a doll completely transparent. I at first had the idea to use clear filament but when that resulted in a product that was just too blurry for my liking I turned to resin 3D Printing. This was at first very intimidating but I got through it and ended up successfully making my glass robot doll which you will see in the pictures I submit.

I'm a girl who very rarely doesn't put blood, sweat and tears into her art. My artwork can vary from traditional art to 3D works, but some of my most valued pieces are my dolls. I'm what people with a similar art interest would call a doll customizer. With this, I take old dolls that have been obviously loved by their previous owner and turn them into my characters. However now, with my growing interest in 3D fabrication, I have taught myself to make my own dolls from scratch giving my characters even more diversity and personalized features. For me, it's a way I can bring the characters I create, which already have a special place in my heart, to life. These pieces are very special to me because I devote a lot of my time to them. They aren't only fun to make but they are also a coping mechanism for me. Creating and working with my hands has always been a way I was able to escape from the world and create my own. They kind of work as pillars holding the wall of my sanity. If something goes wrong with one of my doll projects I notice that my entire mood begins to collapse. I am very much attached to what I create especially when it takes me months to complete a project. This specific hobby has led me to some of the most important development in my overall art journey. Because of doll customizing, I've found a love for 3d printing, laser cutting, designing, resin work and much more. This is another reason I thoughtfully enjoy this hobby. finding new ways to create a thing and make effects that you previously thought were impossible never gets old, never. Because of my love for so many techniques of creativity, I would like to either become a full-time YouTuber, creating cool things and sharing my process with the world and becoming an entrepreneur or work as a prop master making cool fantasy props, beasts, and effects for movies. My plan for my future might change in the next few years but I know something this will not change is my love to create things and my determination to have a job, wheater created by myself or not, that allows me to work with my hands and create cool things that other people can find some sort of enjoyment and inspiration in.