I've always loved eating, but my passion for cooking started when I would watch my mom cook in the kitchen. I was in there so much that eventually, she began teaching me how to cook. "If you're going to stand there and watch, you might as well do something," she'd say and laugh after. When I got the chance, I started out with sides and vegetables and worked my way up to the proteins. Finally, I fried chicken for the first time. Once she taught me how to cook what she knew, I ventured into learning new things and putting my twists on famous dishes. It helped her and me because we alternate cooking, and I get to make new things. Making your own sauce from scratch and it being good is the best feeling. Cooking for five hungry adults as a teen isn't a joke. I've learned about portions, the cost of food, and so much more from cooking. I've watched shows and videos of chefs breaking down the inspiration for their dishes. It inspired me to see the cultures they derive their dishes from and the lengths they take to learn from the natives of diverse backgrounds. Gordon Ramsay is just one of those examples of how he learned from others and also gave opportunities to people with his shows (Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, etc.). From seeing it myself, watching it heavily, and doing my research, I enjoy cooking, and I will put my creativity on every plate. Being a chef, and if I work my way up to it, a head chef, is something I dream of every day, and I can't wait to get to school and start learning. There are many ways to give back to the community, such as scholarships, opening up schools, internships, and funding the start-up of restaurants. I want to work hard so I'm able to provide all of these for POC, but fundraising is the one I want the most. In this industry, we have to work twice as hard to catch up, but we could do better if we reached out a hand and helped one another. I would like to start fundraisers to help others like me go to culinary school without having to worry about the burdens of student loan debt. I would do that by taking a percentage of revenues from the restaurant I work at to fund students' school funds.

Would it be hard to imagine a middle schooler with insomnia? Or someone that young with thoughts of suicide and hopelessness in life? Even if you can’t, that was me and is still me. Wondering what was wrong? Why were my thoughts so dark? Why do I want to end it all? I’ve been dealing with these symptoms for years, but I just got diagnosed this year. My final year of high school. My depression and my ptsd have affected me in different ways. My relationship with my parents, my writing, and how dull I see this earth. I later found out that my ptsd stems from my relationship with my father. He is very aggressive and screams a lot. Talking to him is like walking on eggshells. Anything you say, even a slight joke, could tip him off. Anthony started treating me like that as a 5th or 6th grader. I was always in defensive mode when I had to visit him. It was like I was all alone because my brother would side with him. This caused me to be jumpy all the time, which would lead to arguments with my mom. Or it would cause me to cry if she raised her voice ever so slightly. Years later now, I’ve finally cut him off. I love to write. It's always been in my life. I even want to write my own book one day. Depression, however, had its own plans. I wouldn’t be able to write for months at a time. I had no motivation and couldn’t understand why I couldn’t motivate myself like I normally do. I have a book that I’m writing that I wanted to finish before I left high school. It’s not possible now and that frustrates me. I finally opened the Google doc the other day to start writing. Hopefully, I can start to finish it. Although my mental health has affected my life and my goals everyday I practice new techniques to calm myself and think about my reaction. I’ve also seen a psychiatrist and therapist to get medication’s and talk to a professional. Life throws stuff at you but there’s always people to help you get better.