Mental health is something that isn’t talked about in my family. I am a 22 year- old Mexican American diagnosed with chronic depression at the age of sixteen. You see, I tried to commit suicide at the age of sixteen. After spending two weeks in the hospital trying to lower my liver enzymes. After the hospital, I was sent into a mental hospital for five days. There I met girls who were like me, who didn’t get the help for their mental stability. I did get the help I needed to cope with my depression and anxiety. I never saw myself attending a university or even finishing high school. Now fast forward to me being a 22 year- old junior attending Cal State Long Beach, majoring in Communications Studies. I’m balancing going to school full-time, being a part-time intern, and working on my small business.
When I was younger, I never knew what I wanted to do as a career. But as a sophomore, I decided to start my small business in 2019. Being a small business owner can be a little crazy. Being first generation attending college and starting my business can be drawn. I don’t know much about business, but yet I jumped in. I was scared at first and didn’t know where to start. That’s when I began seeing my mental health deteriorating; with the business launching, I couldn’t sleep, forgot to eat, and started getting depressed. Also, my anxiety was through the roof. I saw my grades declining, crying every day, just feeling overwhelmed. I wasn’t my happy, cheerful self anymore. So, I decided to change it up and put my mental health first. I started exercising, taking self-care days. For example, one of my self-care days is running my three miles, having fruit, face mask, and watching Bob’s Burgers or a tv show that makes me laugh, just realizing some serotonin.
I feel that being a person of color, and a woman makes me more burnable to being looked over when falling apart. For example, when I was falling apart, being overworked. My family used to tell me smile more, to stop crying for every little thing, and that I looked like hell. Their comments didn’t help. But working on my mental health in order to balance everything in my life is key to success. Working on my mental health has benefited me in my business. I don’t get as stressed or frustrated. I don’t cry myself to sleep. Also, the impostor syndrome can kick in when I was going down the rabbit hole. I used to doubt myself, my abilities. I’m able to push myself little by little. I’m able to sleep and just be sane. When I allowed the imposter syndrome to control me. I have so much doubt about myself. I thought I wasn’t good enough to start my small business or even smart enough. But breaking away from that cycle and being able to push myself. I feel that young women need support to break out from some cycles