The first word that always comes to mind when I think of what it means to be a first-generation student is simply put responsibility. The responsibility of building the foundation in which those can grow upon after me. The responsibility of doing better than the generation of my parents that came before me. The responsibility of cementing my family into a better standing where they're capable of following their dreams without concern for finances. So on, like with all responsibility it's filled with pressure so much so that I even struggled with my mental health because of it. From the stress of doing well enough to be accepted into any college that suited my needs. The anxiety of how I would even be able to afford college without in the process accumulating a lifetime of debt. The loneliness and isolation of the pandemic brought upon the world by COVID. The lack of self-care from burnout that pushed my body without eating to its limits. Despite through the many tears that fell and endless thoughts of self-doubt stood a core of hope in that same sense of responsibility that carried me through it all. The very same that has allowed me to stand proud of where I am now as an undergraduate pursuing my bachelor's in psychology. However, this is only truly the first step in a line of many along my journey. One being to become a therapist as an LPC to support others struggling with their mental health same as I have. In doing so to achieve this dream of mine I aspire to go beyond just my bachelor's by way of attending even graduate school afterwards. Yet the assistance when it comes to graduate school is limited compared to undergraduate and with being a first-generation student the challenges become even more apparent. It's why I've come to hope that through sharing my personal experiences and ambitions I'd be blessed with the support that this scholarship offers. It'd relieve the financial burden and toll that going the lengths in pursuing a higher education involves. Therefore, allowing me the freedom to focus purely on my education itself rather than the price tag attached to it. I'm well aware that I'm not alone in my financial limitations yet it's both the expectations of my family and that of myself that keep me determined in upholding the responsibility I have. Not in being perfect but in simply being better than those who came before so that the seed can be planted for future generations to follow that example as well. And so, with being a first-generation student a responsibility is made evident in planting the eventual trees that one day will bear fruit. Fruit that my children, their children, and forth will be able to enjoy without worry. Fruit that when eaten will make it to where those after will not have to carry that same responsibility. At least, that's what being a first-generation student has always truly meant to me.

Growing up mental health was never a main topic of discussion, especially when it came to being mindful of my own. It was solely the core of wanting to achieve a career in which I could help people that gave way to the aspirations I have now to become a therapist as an LPC. However, at the time I wasn't sure of what that path would look like for me, yet I was sure of the many who suffered from the struggle surrounding their mental health that soon I would begin to face as well. I wouldn't be able to say where my experience with mental health first truly began though I can say that the most prominent time of my life in which I faced it was that of high school. With COVID having placed the world into a period of isolation I didn't realize just how much that isolation would send me into a constant battle with feelings of loneliness for the foreseeable future. I struggled with constant thoughts of worthlessness, negative self-image, and even once I did make friends it was hard not to see myself as unimportant to them or just replaceable. It was in that period of my life that I was caught between that same little kid who just wanted to help people and now someone who felt as if it wouldn't make a difference if one day they were to simply disappear. No acts of kindness ever felt genuine and those that did would eventually become stained by own negative thoughts of self-worth. Looking back, I feel as if I bordered on the line of depression. As if the only thing truly keeping me from falling fully into that hole was that pure desire to still be someone capable of making a positive difference in the lives of others even if at the time I couldn't make one in my own. It was that same desire that kept pushing me forward to still do well in school despite the endless negativity that plagued my head. That same desire that would eventually set me on track to realizing that I can't do my best to help others if I can't do my best to first help myself. It's interesting how when trapped in such a negative state of mind it feels as if the very notion of change taking place for the better is impossible. Nevertheless, it's the change in that internal feeling itself that begins the start towards a new light in the first place. There were many factors that would go to change my perspective on both myself and life as I knew it from keeping in touch with friends from middle school, support from close family members, and of course that inner ray of hope that persisted within me through it all. Change for the better is never something that occurs in one big wave all at once but more so through small tides that add up towards something meaningful. I began to understand just how much struggles with mental health can alter and twist your view on reality. You start to think negative absolutes that leave no room for anything otherwise. You believe that no one truly cares, that everyone is better off without you, and that nothing happening in the present moment even has any meaning attached to it. It's a form of a self-sabotage in a way as those thoughts would lead me into overthinking and separating myself from friends to be in the very same isolation that was initially brought on by COVID. Though as mentioned previously, the small tides of change within me were something that was born from genuine self-reflection. I reflected on my actions during that period of time and how just because I may have felt or thought a certain way it didn't necessarily mean that it was true of reality. I would often project the way I felt about myself onto the thoughts of others to validate what I was already feeling at the time. This would keep me constantly held in that cycle of negativity preventing me from seeing the possibility of any other alternative. It still wasn't easy of course as it requires having to comb through and sort out the falseness from the truth but with time, I'd realize just how much I changed as a result. I learned not to be so critical of myself and fall completely victim into any negative thoughts that would spring out. I learned to value the blessings bestowed upon me in life that I may not have been able to properly see such as my friendships and family. Most importantly, I learned to see the beauty of the flower within myself instead of just the thorns and in doing so I realized that it'd also be a blessing to be able to guide someone else towards doing that for themselves as well. Despite struggling with my own mental health, it was common for me to be someone that others would often rely on talk to about the things that they personally struggled with as well. I can't say why those around me felt comfortable enough to be able to open up to me, yet I think it was in the simple act of listening even without offering advice that went a long way in supporting them. It made me feel grateful to be that space for them cause on the inside it allowed me to fulfil that never ending desire to simply help others. Furthermore, it was in those moments of trust that often I was compared to a therapist which I was most certainly far from being that fueled my dream towards striving to become an actual one in the future. Through both being there to support others and the overcoming of the struggles I encountered with my own mental health it feels as if the puzzle pieces all came together to align me on my current path within the mental health field with being one I'm ever so determined to continue following until it's made into fruition.

My dream in life is something that I feel I've always had but it wasn't until recently that I finally understood what that dream was with it being to become a positive role model that others are capable of looking up to. When faced with the question of who inspires me and who I look up to, I would instantly think of the many people in my life from whom I've learned valuable lessons or morals yet it was never where I would see those people as someone I would want to fully become or shape myself around. However, it was then that I realized that instead of trying to find someone else that I could resemble I'd rather become someone that others can take after and look up to in a positive manner becoming my main dream in life. More importantly, I strive for this dream of mine to be present in every aspect of my life including my career leading to my aspiring to become a counseling psychologist as mental health is something that many including myself either have or currently struggled with. By achieving a career in mental health care and becoming a counseling psychologist, I would be capable of directly helping others overcome the obstacles or problems within their lives. The sole idea of being able to make a profound difference in the lives of others is admirable to me in itself yet it'll also be a way to accomplish my dream in life as well in the process. Being a role model to others and having that expressed through my career is a goal I'm determined to never give up on and something I deeply value above all else. With that specific goal in mind, though that'll support my dream It's evident that college lies on my path to making that part of my dream reality. To fulfill the career in mental health care that I have in mind I'll have to obtain a high-level college degree in both psychology and counseling ranging from a bachelor's degree to a doctorate that I'm determined to achieve with the path I've set myself on. This in turn will pave the way for me to pass my licensure and certification exams required to become a counseling psychologist in my state furthering my overall dream in life. In addition, the college experience alone will allow me to interact with a variety of different individuals from different backgrounds that can become beneficial as a representation of the diverse group of people that I'll be encountering and helping in my career. College is something that will also help me build upon the necessary skills in my career field including communication and listening skills that will help me meet the qualities needed to best help others with mental health. Overall while I understand that going to college isn't necessary to become someone that others can look up to I see college as fundamental in not just achieving my dream but setting an example for others that despite what may lie ahead everyone is capable of making their dreams reality. As I'm on track to being a first-generation college student in my family, the level at which I intend to finish college relating to attaining a doctorate is a very high aspiration. A clear obstacle I'll face is financial challenges in paying for college which I'm determined to overcome with the help of scholarships. Keeping this in mind, going to college will undoubtedly support my dream in life of becoming a positive role model for others.

As you come across and interact with new people you start to build meaningful relationships or connections that you're capable of learning from while growing as a person overall, yet it never occurs to you that the most positive teachers in your life could be suffering from the most negativity as well. I would realize this my sophomore year of high school after I met my would-be close friend and positive teacher Xavier who impacted my life in a way for which I'm forever grateful. Despite us both being sophomore students I refer to him as one of the teachers in my life as through him I learned to better appreciate my individuality and how though everyone is unique that uniqueness doesn't mean we're alone as we experience the highs and lows of life. With this new insight from him, I started to develop a mindset where I started to see things in a more positive light, but it wouldn't be until later that I would question whether the things he told me were things he often needed to hear himself. It was otherwise a normal day at school when I noticed Xavier wasn't there, which usually didn't surprise me since he was often never present at school or in class, so I didn't think anything of it. Soon after, while preparing to start class another close friend of Xavier came up to me and asked if I knew what happened to him worrying me as endless what-ifs flooded my mind as he then told me about how Xavier was currently in the hospital due to attempted suicide and that he was texting him showing me pictures of him with a pulse oximeter attached to his finger. Xavier wanted his friend to reveal to me how he along with his siblings suffered abuse from his parents at home while also leaving a message telling me to always stay true to myself and that he was sorry since he would be switching schools. After the realization set in, what hurt me the most was that those who knew what happened didn't seem to care as if they were desensitized to it and when I thought of how alone or scared Xavier felt the whole time, I couldn't stop myself from crying in class with that being the last I would hear about him for awhile. What happened to Xavier would further open my eyes to the realization that you never really know what someone is going through sometimes until it's too late. This in turn would be a source of aspiration toward me setting myself on the path to becoming a counseling psychologist or LPC in the mental health field. Through this career, I strive to help others struggling with mental health while also acting as an outlet for those who have suffered from issues including abuse and who feel they are alone. Moreover, being in the mental health field would give me the opportunity where others would be able to learn from me as I did from Xavier, impacting their lives in positive ways. Overall awareness surrounding mental health has only recently become something talked about. Those suffering from issues involving mental health must be not just able but willing to reach out for help as well. Keeping this in mind as a counseling psychologist or LPC I'll be able to actively work towards supporting mental health and guiding others. Furthermore, with the chance to make a difference so much so that it could save lives like Xavier’s, I'm determined to give my all to make that goal to fruition.

I have always been someone who would characterize myself as ambitious and because of this, it has acted as both a source of motivation and adversity for me to overcome as well. With ambition comes the desire to succeed and accomplish the goals that you have in life but in the process, you also risk losing sight of your well-being along with what matters to you as you constantly remain focused on the future. As a result, I began to neglect my mental health continuing to move forward regardless of the persistent stress and pressure that I would put myself under without realizing the way I went about pursuing my ambitions was unhealthy. Despite this, it wasn't until recently that I understood how important it is to take the time to become more self-aware of your mental state along with the significance of giving yourself a break to enjoy life as it is. It was during my junior year of high school that I became more mindful of how consumed by my ambition I had become and how that determination negatively impacted my mental health overall. Throughout the school year, I would often stress myself out of worry, especially with the concern of maintaining all A's yet it was always something that I put off until the point where one morning I couldn't muster up the energy to even make it to the school bus as I realized that I had stopped eating due to the build-up of stress that I ignored. Later on, I took the time to rest and contemplate why I had become so stressed out plus what I could do to take better care of myself mentally as the neglect of my mental health caused the neglect of my physical health as well. In doing this I understood that I developed an attachment toward my ambitions as this attachment led to a negative mindset in which I felt that if I didn't achieve my goals to perfection then I would have failed at life, but overall life is about more than that and your achievements don't make you who you are leading to me attaining a more positive mindset. As I gained new insight into my struggles with mental health, I became more aware of the hardships my community faces with the same aspect as well. Only recently has mental health become talked about and seen as an area of importance especially within the African American community which has suffered greatly due to generations of stigma surrounding mental illness. Many African Americans notably as young children develop a mindset where they feel they must hide their mental distraught as a result of mental health being seen as a sign of personal weakness and shame culturally. As they grow older, that same mindset to which they've become accustomed leads to a lack of self-expression and less likelihood that when their illness turns severe, they'll reach out to a trained mental health specialist for help. In response to this, I've dedicated myself to helping my community in the future by becoming a counseling psychologist or LPC. This route will enable me to professionally help those in need including African Americans in my community who experience the same issues with mental health as I have. Most of the time, people just need to know that they're heard and that they have someone reliable to count on that will listen to them. Through my completion of college with help from scholarships such as this one, I hope to one day become a notable example that people can follow.

With me currently a high school senior, I've taken the time to thoughtfully plan out many things that will set me on track toward the future I'm determined to create for myself. To start, I plan to finish my last year of high school by steadily maintaining all A's as I did my junior year which in turn keeps my GPA high in the meantime taking care of factors such as recommendations and applications so that I'll be able to go to college afterward in pursuing my career. Furthermore, I've always wanted to become successful in a career where I'm capable of helping people while also becoming someone that others can look up to in the process and to do this I've decided to set myself on the path toward becoming a therapist specifically a counseling psychologist. With this career, I strive not to just make a difference in mental health care but in the lives of those in need as mental illness is a pressing issue that many have personally suffered from or know someone whose been affected. Yet to achieve this career for myself I plan to first attain my doctorate in counseling psychology through college while also doing any available internships offered to me that'll allow me to gain hands-on experience concerning my career. Moreover, aside from focusing on my studies I also want to keep in mind the new opportunities I'll have in college to build new connections that could give me insight into being the best therapist that I can to properly help those struggling with mental illness. Once I complete college fulfilling my doctorate and internship, my next focus would be to study for as well as pass both the E.P.P.P exam along with the jurisprudence exam which certifies my eligibility to request my official license as a counseling psychologist. After that, I'll finally be able to accomplish my career with the long-term goal then being eventually opening a private practice to continue my passion for aiding others through overcoming their mental adversity. Though before the later aspects of my plans can come to fruition, completing along with maintaining in college is the next upcoming major step that I'll have to take and to do that it can only be made possible through the help of scholarships. Coming from a low-income family there aren't a lot of options I can rely on to pay for college, especially as tuition costs continue to rise every year making college a far accomplishment. With me also going down the path of being a first-generation student, tuition becomes an even bigger obstacle that scholarships can make easier to overcome setting the way for my plans to become an actuality. When combining all those factors including the fact that I must receive my doctorate to become a counseling psychologist which means I'll be enrolled longer costing more, going to college has always remained a high aspiration I'm determined to achieve. On the path to fulfilling my goals, I must make use of all the possible opportunities that are offered to me, especially with scholarships. Throughout high school, I've dedicated myself to maintaining high grades and GPA so that I'll have more options available to me that can help in paying college tuition. Also, in doing what I'm capable of to take as much financial burden off my family as I can I know it'll make them proud to see how far I've come. Overall scholarships remain a crucial factor in my future not just in completing college but helping make my goals more than just imagination but reality.