In 9th grade COVID year, hardly anyone saw my face. My camera remained off as I dragged myself through a long day of the unstimulating virtual classes. I tried my best to stay motivated. I ended the year with a 4.0, but I felt empty and purposeless. I didn’t make any new friends. Hardly anyone knew me, and it felt as if there was nowhere for me to fit in, for everyone closed themselves in with their own friend groups. The loneliness turned into depression and even frustration, however, it built up strong excitement and anticipation for when they opened schools back up. When school finally opened back up, as an African American student in PWI, I’ve had my ups and downs when finding my place in school. Though it’s thankfully true we have equal rights, it still felt difficult to maneuver to get the status I have now in high school. I’ve had motivation from my mother since I was little, something that not all African American students have, and I had to have my own personal determination and strive. Throughout my journey since middle school, there were countless times when I didn’t feel like I belonged and wanted to leave because of the lack of diversity in certain honors classes, groups, teams, and honorable clubs. There’s also been moments when I felt unwelcome by honorable students who didn’t look like me and with certain teachers. I've dealt with discrimination and generalization in the classroom without teachers knowing how good of a student I am, or simply just getting to know me. While pushing through the discriminative adversities, I slowly began to feel like myself again. I’ve developed a burning passion to start being active in numerous things. From being part of junior varsity basketball, to spinning a flag for the first time in my marching band color guard, to acting in my first musical, Annie, and singing my heart out on stage. At first, it was just for fun and out of curiosity, but as time passed I began to notice people were observing me. People finally know me, they enjoy me for who I am and the talents that I presented and looked past the color of my skin. While maturing, I grew the urge to maximize my potential in these teams and in every performance. I took on leadership roles and responsibilities that have led me to impact the lives of others and even inspire them in their own high school journey. Though this was a beautiful feeling, it's hard to say that there was many who supported me. People with the same skin color as me were the ones who cheered the loudest, by my side at the lowest, and seen the potential in me. Realizing this made me look forward to attending an HBCU. A school who works in favor for black students like myself and looks out for black students who are in worse circumstances. Being able to see the liveliness and uplifting of black students and the outstanding power found within the community is something I knew I wanted to be around. I also promise that after I graduate from my HBCU I want to minimize the lack of motivation and effort put towards black students in predominantly white schools and instead maximize the confidence of black students everywhere. That being said, I will be furthering my education, and enhancing my black confidence at Howard University. Howard University has many opportunities and I plan to make each one abundant. Not just for me, but for younger black students who need an advocate.

“I'm not concerned with your liking or disliking me. All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.” A truthful quote by Jackie Robinson that can be agreed upon amongst all minority people and anyone else who’s experienced some sort of discrimination. Unfortunately, over history to the present day, there have been numerous groups of people who’ve suffered discrimination against that had to beg for the same simple request for respect just like Jackie Robinson. Though it isn’t completely perfect today, there has been tremendous progress in society in building civil rights and justice for everyone with the help of the individuality, talent, and boldness of Jackie Robinson. After Jackie Robinson broke the color border in Major League Baseball, he did everything in his power and took good advantage of his platform in joining the fight for fulfilling the popular request of having respect as human beings. Some of his most important, out of many, accomplishments after baseball were co-founding the black-owned, National Bank of Harlem, and initiating the Jackie Robinson Construction Company. As our society has been historically against the well-being and financial stability of African Americans, Jackie Robinson’s organizations have helped many African Americans gain hope and a sense of calmness as he provides financial support with the National Bank of Harlem and provides homes for low-income families, which in this case was mainly African-Americans. Before Robinson’s National Bank closed down in 1990, it had $101.9 million in assets, had 22,000 depositors, provided jobs for 97 people, and benefited many African Americans within its almost 30 years of business. This shows that Robinson had strong ambition not only for baseball but also for his community and his people and this provides a strong message and impact amongst young talented African-Americans today, like myself. As I researched the history of Jackie Robinson and found out that he wasn’t only athletically active, but also active in joining the fight for civil rights, I’ve grown a huge sense of inspiration. The way Robinson uses his athletic talents to build a platform only to benefit the black community is quite smart and courageous, and his aspirations align with my own. I too, want to create a platform and create a difference for people and improve mental health conditions within my generation. This can be made possible through amplifying my skills and talents for my passion for acting. Just like Robinson had strong determination for baseball and became professional while making a difference, I have that same determination in studying within the acting and entertainment industry. Robinson’s history proves that it is possible to have multiple purposes and intentions that can be executed through one talent, and I, and many others can do the same, and make a change within our society. All it takes is determination, passion, and a demand for respect just like Jackie Robinson.

It's five minutes before show time. My heart has pulses in an attempt to pick itself up after it dramatically drops. Suddenly, it's hard to breathe, and I feel separated from reality. My mind and body cry, yet I'm so frozen the tears cannot exit. They're sucked in and bottled up. "Nothing but a typical anxiety attack," or "I'll get over it," I'll tell myself. I ignore my physical pains caused by emotional pains to persuade my audience that I'm fine so they remain at ease. This moment remains behind the scenes or backstage, where no one can see. As a theater student and an extrovert, I constantly have an audience. Someone is always watching me, whether on the stage playing a character, being the center of attention in class or an event, or simply cracking jokes with a group of friends. It sounds weird. However, it has its beauty to make up for the flaws. It's as if my life has been an ongoing movie. I'm the main character. My mother is the producer, the Lord above is my director, and the people who've entered and exited my life are part of the cast. Throughout my movie, people always told me that I was a leader. I never quite felt like it until a girl one grade lower than me said I was why she became confident when performing. I never gave her any advice when it came to performing on stage. She just observed me and reciprocated my tactics. It was my first "proud big sister" moment, and I cherish it to this day. However, this same girl saw me when I was low and quiet. We had the same choir class, so she saw me every day. She was there on my bad days, and she was there on my excellent days too. Our class was very open with our thoughts, so she knows some of the stuff I've been through that I was willing to share. I've built a connection with this girl subconsciously. She saw me "behind the scenes." Sometimes I regret minimizing the seriousness of my mental health when it gets bad. I hated acknowledging when I was sad; I tended to ignore it because it seemed "easier." However, I've realized being vulnerable with your emotions is crucial to healing. A soul connection is created with the power of tears and becoming vulnerable with the people who care about you, or simply anybody watching you, your audience. This was revealed to me again when I received my first starring role for a school musical and I was playing someone outside of myself. I was Little-Orphan-Annie! The whole process of putting the show together was a core memory that I’ll never forget. Not only did I create lifelong friendships approaching performance day but it was also brought to my attention that I made older people emotional and small children want to become friends with “Annie” after my performance because they could relate to her as a fun kid or even the difficult trials she's experienced. This opened my eyes and heart to what I wanted to do for a living; impacting people. I’d love to pursue an acting major to expand my talents as an African-American actress. While playing this character, I was able to represent poverty issues and demonstrate optimism, faith, resilience, and thankfulness. All things that we need to keep going in this complicated world. I realized that through acting you can give important life mentoring advice and truly inspire someone without actually telling them to “do this” or “do that.” In pursuing this career, I can tell a story in hopes of making a difference for my generation and generations to come. Famous actors have also used the platforms they created to address real- world issues. For example, Taraji P. Johnson, one of the top ten black actresses who also studied acting at Howard, uses her platform to promote the importance of mental health. In keeping with the theme of mental health, influencing people, and life mentoring, this leads to my second choice in my career path, psychology. Every feeling we have, decision we make, and actions we take all have some sort of psychological process. I view it as a cause-and-effect sort of process. After experiencing then recovering from my own mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, I learned that if you can’t control the cause, you can always control your effect. Studying the causes of psychological health issues will help me guide people around them. I believe each individual has an outstanding potential and purpose. Yet, I know how much bad mental health can take a lot of that out of a person, including the people around them. I want to be the solution to help one’s effect after a bad cause. Whether it be through acting or a school counselor, I want to create an impact for my society and make a difference for people, while representing people like me; to better their lives by interacting whether it’s through my on stage endeavors, countrywide on Netflix or simply in a therapy or counseling office.

On the first day of 9th grade hardly anyone saw my face. My camera remained off as I dragged myself through a long day of the unstimulating virtual classes. I tried my best to stay motivated. I ended the year with a 4.0, but I felt empty and purposeless. Hardly anyone knew me, and it felt as if there was nowhere for me to fit in or find comfort. The loneliness turned into depression and even frustration, however, it built up a strong sense of excitement for when they opened schools back up. I knew that the moment I walked into the doors of high school I would do anything to fulfill my potential so I wouldn’t fall in the slump of what quarantine put me in. Tenth grade year I had my real authentic first-day-of-high-school and slowly began to feel like myself again. I’ve developed a burning passion to start being active in numerous things in order to keep myself from falling into that depression again. From being part of junior varsity basketball, to spinning a flag for the first time in color guard, to acting in multiple plays, and singing my heart out on stage, I was constantly active. At first, it was just for fun and out of curiosity, but as time passed I soon realized people were observing me, trusting me, and even influenced…by me. I slowly found this out after I earned my first starring role for the school musical, Annie. When I performed this role, it was brought to my attention that I made older people emotional and small children want to become friends with “Annie” after my performance. This opened my eyes and heart to what I wanted to do for a living; impacting people. While playing this character, I was able to represent poverty issues, depression, loneliness but also demonstrate optimism, faith, resilience, and thankfulness. All things that we need to thrive in this complicated world. Through acting I can give important life mentoring advice and truly inspire someone without actually telling them to “do this” or “do that” At the end of high school, one major thing I learned is that there is always someone watching. Whether it be on stage, or simply walking the halls or being in the classroom, I am constantly putting on a performance. This was once again proven when I was recently crowned Homecoming Queen. The cheering from the friends I’ve longed to have since freshman year, kids I didn’t even know, and kids I didn’t even expect would know me, shows that I truly made a name for myself. Even when I think no one is paying attention, they quite in fact are. That being said, I make sure to watch what I say and what I do, ending conversations on a positive note, showing vulnerability and accountability in hard situations, and anything else that creates trust in and hope for people who need it. In my future, I want to be the solution to help one’s mental health and show them that there’s hope within their own future. Whether it be through acting or a school counselor, I want to create an impact for my society and make a difference for people to better their lives by interacting with them…whether it’s through my on stage endeavors, countrywide on Netflix or simply in a room.

On the first day of 9th grade hardly anyone saw my face. My camera remained off as I dragged myself through a long day of the unstimulating virtual classes. I tried my best to stay motivated. I ended the year with a 4.0, but I felt empty and purposeless. Hardly anyone knew me, and it felt as if there was nowhere for me to fit in or find comfort. The loneliness turned into depression and even frustration, however, it built up a strong sense of excitement for when they opened schools back up. I knew that the moment I walked into the doors of high school I would do anything to fulfill my potential so I wouldn’t fall in the slump of what quarantine put me in. Tenth grade year I had my real authentic first-day-of-high-school and slowly began to feel like myself again. I’ve developed a burning passion to start being active in numerous things in order to keep myself from falling into that depression again. From being part of junior varsity basketball, to spinning a flag for the first time in color guard, to acting in multiple plays, and singing my heart out on stage, I was constantly active. At first, it was just for fun and out of curiosity, but as time passed I soon realized people were observing me, trusting me, and even influenced…by me. I slowly found this out after I earned my first starring role for the school musical, Annie. When I performed this role, it was brought to my attention that I made older people emotional and small children want to become friends with “Annie” after my performance. This opened my eyes and heart to what I wanted to do for a living; impacting people. While playing this character, I was able to represent poverty issues, depression, loneliness but also demonstrate optimism, faith, resilience, and thankfulness. All things that we need to thrive in this complicated world. Through acting I can give important life mentoring advice and truly inspire someone without actually telling them to “do this” or “do that” At the end of high school, one major thing I learned is that there is always someone watching. Whether it be on stage, or simply walking the halls or being in the classroom, I am constantly putting on a performance. This was once again proven when I was recently crowned Homecoming Queen. The cheering from the friends I’ve longed to have since freshman year, kids I didn’t even know, and kids I didn’t even expect would know me, shows that I truly made a name for myself. Even when I think no one is paying attention, they quite in fact are. That being said, I make sure to watch what I say and what I do, ending conversations on a positive note, showing vulnerability and accountability in hard situations, and anything else that creates trust in and hope for people who need it. In my future, I want to be the solution to help one’s mental health and show them that there’s hope within their own future. Whether it be through acting or a school counselor, I want to create an impact for my society and make a difference for people to better their lives by interacting with them…whether it’s through my on stage endeavors, countrywide on Netflix or simply in a room.

Imagine living in a world without music. The National Anthem didn’t play at the beginning of an NFL or NBA game. It’s your birthday but no one sings happy birthday for you. There is no Cupid Shuffle to dance to at a party. Grooms and brides no longer have that romantic partner dance at their wedding parties. What even are concerts? Band and choir no longer exist. It wouldn’t necessarily be dramatically sad for some people, however it’ll feel like something really important is missing. Music has a deep significance for events, special moments, emotional moments, telling stories, or giving a message. Some people rely on music when they can’t express their emotions out loud. Music of all languages, genres, and styles connects people together whether it be at a family reunion, a racial class, a religious group, a romantic couple, or even a lonesome person connecting with a song artist telling their story through lyrics. I have once been that lonesome person before, during 2020, music has became my best friend ever since then. I love to not only listen to music, but observe it. From the meaning of the lyrics, to the music in the background, to even how the lyrics are executed and how the singer is feeling. And if it’s just instruments, I observe how the musicians feeling. What message are they trying to send? I personally enjoy listening to RnB, old school rap, and meaningful rap. Meaningful rap is what truly shapes up my perspective of this world. For it’s blunt with the real world situations and bringing it to surface regardless of how uncomfortable the topic is. For example, Tupac Shakur is one of the most influential rappers and considered a legend. One of his songs titled, “Keep Ya Head Up” speaks about the mistreatment of women, poverty, and growing up in a rough environment. He keeps it relentlessly truthful even though it’s sad, however he brings it all back together providing hope and encouragement by telling listeners to “keep ya head up.” This song is still played to young audiences today and can still influence people with a catchy tune and chorus. This type of song makes me remember how rough it is to be a black woman in this world but it gives me pride that our values do not go unacknowledged and I walk proudly. Depending on the type of music it is, will determine how I view the world. If I listen to an upbeat song I feel happy and view the world as good place. However, listening to sad songs with no one telling me to “keep my head up” will change how I perceive the world. I think about how harsh the world is in reality and forget about the better good of it. While some music makes love feel magical, some can make me feel like love is meaningless. According to studies and experiments, music has a psychological and emotional impact on people so it’s important to be cautious of what music you let into your ears. For the most part, the current music I listen to creates a happy feeling for me and I perceive the world as a positive place, but it is your choice to make it positive.

"Daughter, what do you want to be when you grow up?" is a question my mother asks me from time to time. Throughout my life so far, I gave her three answers. When I was seven years old, I said, "The president of America!" I changed my mind three years later and said, "A teacher!" Three years after that, I said, "A psychologist!" If she asks me again, I'd say, "A psychologist and cosmetologist.'' Regardless of any answer I gave her, she has never doubted me and always believed I could do it. My mother has raised me single-handedly while working over 12 hours a day. Despite the dedication to her job, she always manages to make time for me when necessary. The relationship I have with my mom is subtle yet very full of love, and that is a reason why I'd never trade her with anyone else. In December of 2016, my grandmother passed away. Unfortunately, because of this, I've experienced terrible anxiety that had me be in and out of the hospital the whole summer. Looking back on that, she's always put on a strong face for me and tell me that everything will be okay. I have never seen her have that mourning moment after the passing. Because of that experience, I knew that my mother would do anything to make sure I'm good. When I'm happy, she is, and when I'm sad, so is she. To add on, no matter how much I try to hide my emotions, she'll always know when there's something wrong. A mother's intuition, I perhaps. It's always been us versus the craziness of life and the people in the world. She's always been very protective of me, and there have been countless sacrifices that she's made for me. I always want her to know that everything that she's done was worth it. This specific reason helped me make the decision to attend college, specifically Howard University. The way my mother has taught me to be the young woman I am today is how I want to present myself as I go through high school, college, my career, and throughout the rest of my life. I also want to inspire girls and maybe even my own daughter one day, just like how she inspires me. After all the ups and downs my mother and I went through, I hope, I can make her proud one day. She truly deserves it.

About a month ago, I experienced a burst of angel numbers being revealed to me back to back. For the spiritually curious person I am, of course, I had to do research. On my search on a specific website, there was a sentence that caught my eye. "The love that you pass on to another human...is the greatest gift you can give to the future." As soon as I saw this, I could immediately read a deeper context. Let me elaborate. The amount of love and hate a person receives is revealed in the type of personality they show towards others. The more hatred given off by people results in more poor choices. Poor choices lead to terrible outcomes and can explain why we live in such a crazy world today. Now, think about if all the hate was replaced with love. Racism, homophobia, xenophobia, and other discrimination issues would have vanished if love was passed on to one another from the very beginning! The depression and anxiety that cause people to lack motivation wouldn't take so much away from us. Suicide rates would be lower today if hatred didn't overwhelm those innocent lives. If people seek love and peace instead of vengeance and degradation, it wouldn't be a constant war amongst people. The time people waste on focusing on other people's downfall could've been put toward something more beneficial. Love is the key to having world peace in our presence and can contribute to our future. This truth brings forth definition to the significant sentence, "The love that you pass on to another human...is the greatest gift you can give to the future." I find this quote special to me because it can even be related to my personal life. While going to school with past friend groups, I've been known as a "goodie-two-shoes" and considered "too nice." At first, I felt like the odd one out when I got compared to them, but later on, I realized that I should take pride in that title. It's not the first time where my shared love impacted the new ways that my friends carried themselves and how they treated people. Either I get told how much I helped change their character, or it simply was noticeable in their changed actions. That brought joy to me! Knowing that the love I spread can carry to other people and make a difference for the society for the present and future. I also know that I am not the only one who can do it!