Seeing what it was like, and it is, for my family who didn't attend college helped me see having a higher education will bring more opportunities for me to advance in life. My mom is a single mother and had my older sister early in life, so she didn't get the chance to go to college. Even my uncles didn't attend college and now some of them are having a hard time finding reliable, well-paying jobs. I also can see a disconnect when I am explaining to my mom why I can't always go out with her. She enjoys spending time with me but being a full-time undergraduate student my free time is spent keeping up on my assignments. although to her it looks like I'm not doing much since I'm usually in my room on my iPad/laptop, but I'm reading, writing, or doing research. I understand that she doesn't understand that when I'm taking classes most of my time is spent doing school work since she didn't get that opportunity to experience college life. Even with my uncles, I see that some of my younger cousins will need to get extra help from school counselors/advisors when they get closer to graduating because their parents are always working. Since my mom and her brothers didn't attend college, It was difficult to get extra help outside of school, since they didn't have a higher understanding of my assignments, so I had to heavily rely on myself and my teachers. Although I was in special ed throughout elementary and high school, I didn't get the right kind of academic help. I saw that the teachers would do their best to aid me in my struggles. One of my teachers would sometimes come to my home (with the permission of my mom) to speak with me and make sure I was doing well. these kinds of relationships with my teachers shaped my decision when I started college. I did change my major twice, from psychology to computer science then English. These changes were because of my memories of how caring and helpful my teachers were, and I wanted to be that same kind of support for others, so I decided to pursue being an English teacher. By becoming a teacher I will be able to help students who may have similar situations as me or as my family. I want to be able to make a meaningful difference in others' lives.

Currently, at 26 years of age, I can confidently say that my struggles with mental health have been ongoing since I was in elementary school. I was always a shy quiet child, but also had my odd habits which granted me to be diagnosed with ADHD (if I'm being honest I'm not sure about this diagnosis, but can see why my doctors and teachers believed I had/have it). I've also struggled and still do struggle, with Major Depressive Disorder which has been the biggest obstacle throughout my academic career. I've been lucky enough to have encountered empathetic teachers, counselors, and therapists to guide me but even then the darkness of my mind can be stronger than any help I have received. Middle school and High school is where my depression showed the most (high school mainly). I wouldn't/couldn't get up most days and interacting with my peers and teachers seemed impossible at times; so to stay up on my school work I would be put into a homeschool program. this program was wonderful for that purpose, but it also hindered my ability to be social, and go out to try new things. also with ADHD, I had an IEP which put me in special education classes. This was probably good for me in elementary school. Still, once I was in middle-high school (and even now in college) being in special education classes hindered me, resulting in me being lazy and not applying myself the way I should have. I was fully aware I shouldn't be in those classes but stay since they were easy. now that I'm older I've been able to combat those ways of thinking and try my best to challenge myself, but I can see the residue of being in classes that were too easy for me. And though I still, and most likely will continue, to struggle with my mental health I am determined to never let it hinder me from becoming the best version of myself. My career goal is to become a teacher/professor, and I want to be able to show my future students that no matter how difficult life is, especially when dealing with mental health issues, anyone is strong enough to get through it, and they aren't alone in dealing with these issues; and even if there are setbacks it isn't the end of the world, life will continue to go on so why not continue by becoming stronger and wiser? I'm the embodiment of setbacks, the biggest being dropping out from joining the military, but I don't let those little bumps define who I am; what I do after is what will define who I will become.

I've been lucky enough to come across many excellent teachers, especially my professors at Palomar College. My goal of becoming a teacher has intensified, in these last few years, due to the caring, intriguing/engaging, and helpful professors. My professors have not only aided me in my academic career but also my personal life; whenever I've fallen on difficult times, my professors were there to listen and understand; if I had to miss a class or turn in an assignment late they were glad to give me the extra time for example. If it wasn't for the professors I wouldn't have made it through some semesters (this last semester being a good example). The amazing counselors that have helped me also had an impact on my career goals. I spoke to different counselors throughout my school career, and the same with the professors, if it wasn't for the helpfulness of the counselors I wouldn't have been able to make it this far in my academic career. I remember one particular counselor (forgive me, for his name has been lost in my memories), who cried with me when I was having a particularly difficult semester when I first started college; this memory will always stay with me and be a reminder of the what a good counselor (and overall person) should be. The Professors and Counselors I've been lucky enough to know, have been a pinnacle in my academic career, their positive influence has, and will continue, to strengthen my goals of being a teacher; they've also taught me to know how to be a good teacher/counselor. But these aren't the only reasons I've had success in getting this far in my school career getting grants (federal Grants) also aided me. It is difficult to juggle school and life, and adding a job can be extremely difficult and stressful, and having mental health issues (Major Depressive Disorder) makes this almost impossible at times, so by getting grants, like this one, I'm able to afford basic school supplies, gas, food, and many other needed material. Receiving grants also make school easier, since I am not worried about the types of problems that arise when one is low income; resulting in my focusing better in class, engaging well, and keeping up on school work. Overall, the professors and counselors I've been lucky enough to come across, have been a major factor in my academic success, as well as the federal grants I've received. This has helped me in my goal of becoming a teacher and if awarded this grant I will be able to continue to strive in my academic career, without the extra stress of worrying about finances. Thank you Jasmaine Graben