My senior year has been pretty rough. It started with the loss of my step-dad who raised me for the last thirteen years to stage four pancreatic cancer. Four days later my little sister Felicia LoAlbo- Melendez took her life in school. In a matter of two weeks, my life had split open. While my sister was in the hospital for a few days on life support, I continued attending school. I didn't know what else to do, but it was definitely a good distraction. News of the incident spread fast around the schools in our area from the middle schools on up. With the suicide happening in the bathroom, there were many unknowns for the case, medical treatment, and what actually happened. It led to rumors within minutes of it happening. I saw it all over my social media and news thread for months, and there was no escape from it in school once the students and the teachers realized it was my sister. I got looks from students and teachers, the type of look you give to a hurt animal or a crying baby. I understand that it's just people feeling sympathetic or curious, but it still bothered me because I don't want that type of attention and I'm not helpless. I have an amazing support system through my family and friends to talk to, I tried journaling and painting with the help of my teachers. I didn't stick with it though. I've never really thought about how I got through my senior year, I just put my head down and kept moving forward. I believe that it's ok to take a minute, an hour, a day, maybe even a week to take a step back and breathe, grieve, and process what's going on and how my life is changing. But taking myself out of the playing field of life was never an option in my eye. I went to school every day that I could, I went to work, and I kept living my life. I knew that I had to keep my college selection process going, keep my grades up, and participate in my sport. I miss my sister more than I show it, and sometimes it may make me look like a jerk, but I'm reminded about her in school, events, and trinkets in stores, and it's a bittersweet feeling. My advice to anyone who loses or losses a loved one to suicide would be to feel your emotions and take your time to grieve and process. Make sure you have an outlet and find a support system, it really does help. Most important would be to keep going, if you have a job, go to work, if you go to school, go to school and study like it's another weekday, if you have something fun planned, go do it. You are allowed to live your life so your loved one wouldn't be upset with you. It's what they would want for you, they wouldn't want you to sit there in the dark miserable, they'd want you to keep moving forward and take advantage of the life you have because they didn't have the opportunity to. Remember them in beautiful moments, and keep their memory positive. At least that's what I'm doing, and I go to school, and I'm going to college. I persevered through the loss of my little sister by living my life with more gratitude and a desire to continue my pursuit of happiness.