“We bury our friends in the morning, protest in the afternoon, and dance all night.”
This quote originated during the AIDS crisis. Underprivileged, queer, and people of color fought for their rights to live in a system that neglected their very existence. Our community’s friends, lovers, and leaders died of preventable causes while the world watched. But they didn’t accept defeat; they organized. They made the world listen; they made themselves seen when others turned a blind eye. But most importantly, they danced. They understood that, in a system of oppression, not only to exist, but to live and live a life of joy and fulfillment, is an act of rebellion.
As a child, I took to pencil and paper as my entertainment, and I quickly discovered that I could make someone smile by giving them a drawing. I realized the power I hold as an artist: to bring others joy. Since then, my life has been filled with paint-stained clothes and fingernails embedded with charcoal, with my eyes on a career as an artist.
Coming from a low-income and unstable household, attending an affluent suburban school, and being the only outwardly queer person in my community, fear, stigma, and hate have shaped so much of my life. I grew up feeling like I was the only one in existence like me. I confided in art and studies to and understand how my identity shapes the world around me.
At 15, with the help of the community and friends, I made my debut as a drag performer, and since then, I have led an expansive career under the name Green Apple Slush.
My artwork is rooted in my experiences as a queer person and a drag performer. With my art, I explore how queer and trans bodies navigate self-worth within systems of oppression. My paintings are both a tribute and an examination; a celebration of LGBTQ drag artistry, and a reflection on the triumphs, losses, and the social/political tensions that define my lived experiences.
Drag is self-creation. In my artwork, a tube of lipstick becomes a weapon of creation; dirty silicone breasts become the object of meditation. The canvas becomes the stage, and the viewer becomes the performer, placed in front of a mirror that reflects a caricature of femininity.
I am drawn to the tensions between what is authentic and what is artificial. I do not attempt to resolve this tension, but instead, let it exist with deliberate friction.Through the lens of drag, I explore the creation and transformation of identity, and in the act of painting, participate in this creation. Painting becomes a way to reclaim my presence; performance becomes existence, and existence is power. With my art, I inhabit the fluidity of drag and queer existence, reflecting on, disrupting, and reimagining how we perform ourselves into being.
After one of my performances, a woman reached out to me. She said that she and her son had attended the show together. Her family had been facing tough times, and her son was enduring bullying at school because of his femininity. She shared that my performance was a source of strength for her son; she called me his "superhero." Her message shook me. I had never imagined I could be a source of strength for someone else. That moment reminded me of everything I had needed growing up. Visibility, hope, someone to look up to. Now, I know that I can be that for others.
Although our current political situation feels like one giant step backwards, I'm constantly reminded that, while there is still so much to fight for, we have come a long way, and there is so much to be hopeful for.
I hope to carry the baton of the artists and activists that have come before me, making artwork of pain and resilience, not for fun, but for survival; for dancing in the face of grief, for loving loudly and living fully. With my art, I hope to continue to be a pillar and to encourage others to be fearlessly authentic, even when the world tries to belittle them. I want to remind others, especially those who feel unseen, that their stories are sacred, their joy is powerful, and their existence is valuable. The world may not always be ready for us, but we show up anyway. Painted, glittering, aching, and alive.