My life has been a series of challenges that have shaped who I am today, and in many ways, these experiences resonate deeply with Billie Eilish's music. Her song "What Was I Made For?" captures the uncertainty I've felt, especially during the hardest times. The absence of my mother, the loss of my cousin Marky, and the death of my father left me questioning my purpose. Like Billie, I’ve struggled with figuring out what I’m meant to do in this world. Yet, these experiences have pushed me to pursue a career in medicine, turning my pain into purpose. Every time I feel lost or uncertain about my path, I remind myself of the strength I've gained from these losses, using them as fuel to keep moving forward. In "idontwannabeyouanymore," Eilish touches on the struggle of reconciling inner feelings with outward expectations. This song reminds me of my high school years, particularly after my father's passing, when I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I pushed myself to excel academically despite dealing with profound loss, much like how Billie describes the pressure to be something she’s not. The emotional burden of those years was heavy, but it also made me stronger and more determined to succeed. I often felt like I was living two lives the one where I appeared strong and capable to everyone around me, and the one where I was grappling with grief and the overwhelming desire to make my dad proud. The themes of betrayal and empowerment in "watch" also resonate with my story. Life has thrown so many obstacles my way from my father’s health struggles to the loss of Marky and the absence of my mother but I’ve learned to channel that pain into something positive. The fire Billie sings about is similar to the drive I’ve developed over the years. It’s a reminder that, despite everything, I’m still standing, still pushing forward, and still determined to make a difference in the world. Every challenge has only strengthened my resolve, and like the fire in "watch," it burns within me, fueling my passion for medicine and my commitment to making a lasting impact on the lives of others.

Every ending has two sides to the story. My favorite one being a book called "Into the Wild" by Jon Krakauer. Although the main character Chris McCandless’s story came to an end in Alaska, pieces of his tale are still unraveling. Was McCandless crazy? Or was this the most sensible thing he has done throughout his life? When the media found out about McCandless’s journey it became very controversial, it made many question his rationality. Was he throwing life away? Christopher McCandless was born into a middle-class family, with his younger sister Carine, his father Walter, and his mother Billie. On the outside the McCandless household was seen to be the typical suburban family, but as the story unravels that was far from the truth. After the book was published Chris's sister Carine helped spread more insight into why Chris decided to take his trek into Alaska. Carine states, “It's important to acknowledge the tumultuous childhood that we had… When Chris was born his parents were living together but just 20 minutes away Walt had another family… For nearly five years Walt split his time living between his two families in his two homes”. Not only was a sense of abandonment starting to grow but the guilt that Chris McCandless felt was much deeper. Throughout his life he witnessed Walter verbally and physically abusing his mother, it was survival for Carine and Chris. But for Chris, it only became worse as he was constantly told that his whole existence essentially trapped his mother. From that, he harbored so much resentment for his parents to the point where he wanted to divorce them from his life completely. In result, he concluded that he shall take this solo journey of going to Alaska and living off of the land. What he did may seem impulsive but it was possibly the best decision that he could have made for his sanity. Chris needed a place where he could go and no one could blame him for existing, he simply wanted to break free from the shackles that were placed on him by his father. This is the main reason I believe that If I could have everyone in the world read one book it should be "Into the Wild". Chris McCandless's story inspired many and I hope that it lives on to inspire more.

Growing up I idolized my Dad. He was the person that I could always go to if I was in need. My mom didn't have the authority to take care of me due to mental health issues therefore my dad was my primary caretaker. When my dad was little, he was the oldest of three and had to take on the burden of growing up quickly so he could take care of his siblings. Later on, when he had kids of his own he would constantly work so my siblings and I wouldn't have to worry as he once did. When the COVID-19 virus hit, my dad was laid off from his current position. Due to the regulations that were enforced, it took him about a year to find a new occupation. But because of the virus and inflation, my dad decided to work two jobs. He took this risk in order to keep his family financially stable. As a first-generation Latina I would like to attend college to make my dad proud but mostly to show that his sacrifices were not in vain. Throughout my life, I have always strived to get good grades but then during my junior year, my dad suffered several strokes and was put in a medically induced coma. It felt like my whole world was being brought down. To me, my dad is my everything, and then having that pulled away so soon in my life felt like I lost it all. I had no motivation to keep going and I brushed off school. Sooner or later I came to the realization that my dad wouldn't have wanted this for me. He would've wanted me to keep going even if he wasn't there to see it for himself. He is my motivation, the person that drives me to keep going. I want to be able to get into college and pursue my career so that by the time my dad wakes up, I can show him all the accomplishments that I have made. I want to show him that I took advantage of all the opportunities that were given to me. I want to show my dad that I pushed through it all, the pain, the sorrows, and the “sorrys” that everyone felt toward me. During this time I figured out what I wanted to do thanks to my dad. All those little pieces that were once broken are now following back into place. As a profession, I want to pursue Epidemiology or Pathology. I want to go down the medical career path because I want to be the person to find the cure for the disease that almost took my dad away from me. I want to be able to prevent this situation from happening to anyone because nobody should have to feel the same pain that I felt during what was supposed to be “the most exciting time of high school”. Through all the hardships I've learned to balance multiple activities, and challenges, in order to help me grow as an individual and adapt to future endeavors.

Growing up I idolized my Dad. He was the person that I could always go to if I was in need. As a first-generation Latina, I would like to attend college and pursue the career that I want not only to make my dad proud but mostly to show that his sacrifices were not in vain. Throughout my life, I have always strived to get good grades but then during my junior year, my dad suffered several strokes and was put in a medically induced coma. It felt like my whole world was being brought down, everything was shattered into tiny pieces. To me, my dad is my everything, and then having that pulled away so soon in my life felt like I lost it all. I had no motivation to keep going and I brushed off school. Sooner or later I came to the realization that my dad wouldn't have wanted this for me. He would've wanted me to keep going even if he wasn't there to see it for himself. He is my motivation, the person that drives me to keep going. I want to be able to get into college, so by the time my dad wakes up, I can show him all the accomplishments that I have made. I want to show him that I took advantage of all the opportunities that were given to me, one of which being applying for this scholarship. I want to show my dad that I pushed through it all, the pain, the sorrows, and the “sorrys” everyone felt toward me. During this time I figured out what I wanted to do thanks to my dad. All those little pieces that were once broken are now following back into place. As a profession, I want to pursue Epidemiology or Pathology. I want to go down the medical career path because I want to be the person to find the cure for the disease that almost took my dad away from me. I want to be able to prevent this situation from happening to anyone because nobody should have to feel the same pain that I felt during what was supposed to be “the most exciting time of high school”. Through all the hardships I've learned to balance multiple activities, and challenges, in order to help me grow as an individual and adapt to future endeavors. With the help of this scholarship, it will help me further reach my goal.