The musical Hadestown means a lot to me, and the song Epic III in particular touches me. There are many important themes found throughout the musical, one of the most prevalent ones being the act of holding onto hope and trying again however many times it takes for it to finally turn out. It hones in on the message that it is worth continuing to try for the people you love or for the things that are important to you. Throughout the show, Orpheus is working on a song that is supposed to help fix things, but he doesn't pay attention to his wife's needs and he loses her. So he journeys to Hadestown to bring her back, and it is upon doing this that he finally realizes what it is the song needs. Epic III is the song that he sings to beg Hades to let him bring Eurydice back home. But it isn't the story of the love of Orpheus and Eurydice. It's the story of the love of Hades and Persephone. It's the culmination of the rest of the musical, with the melody that Orpheus has been trying to write the perfect song for finally in place. The melody is an old, long-forgotten song, originally shared between Hades and Persephone. Orpheus reminds Hades of what he has lost and how beautiful the world used to be, and he insists that there is still hope. Throughout the musical, Orpheus is the representation of hope, which is why it is so tragic when he loses it at the last moment. But even so, he is shown to be teaching everyone else how to hope through this song. They had forgotten how to hope, but with Orpheus' reminder, spring can come again.

I am lucky that my family keeps everything, or else the line “I was like the sun, only tall and not yellow” could have been lost to the world forever. Hopefully, writing that sentence in a picture book in preschool won’t be the peak of my writing career, but it will certainly be difficult to top. When I was too young to know which direction the letter “S” faced, I’d tell stories to my parents and grandparents and have them write them down for me. At first, I illustrated them with pictures, but eventually I graduated to writing my own words and drawing my own pictures. When I got a little older, I wrote in the Notebook app on my laptop, trying to emulate the style of my favorite Animorphs and Harry Potter books. When I visited my grandmother’s house, I’d take my spiral notebook from the den and scribble away at the chapter book I was trying to write. My cousin and I used to run upstairs to the computer room together to work on our most recent book idea. It might last a few visits before we scrapped it and moved onto the next one. In second grade, my friends and I talked together on the playground and daydreamed about being taken away to Fairyland, and then I went home and wrote about it. Even so, at the time, I never imagined writing professionally. At first, I wanted to be a doctor. Then I came up with the idea of a restaurant called Suzie’s and wanted to be a restaurant owner/waitress (I didn’t really understand the difference). I created a menu that included items such as “Chocolate Wish Bread” and insanely overpriced water. When I was in elementary school, my class was given an assignment where we had to draw ourselves as whatever we wanted to be when we grew up. By then, my list had grown to a doctor/restaurant owner/waitress/singer/actress/writer. My family started homeschooling when I was in fifth grade, and I spent most of my middle school years on a novel called Magiker. I never finished it, but by the time I was twelve, I had written twenty-five thousand words. The main characters were Blaze and Sophie, twin sisters with magical powers. That story and its characters will always be special to me. It was the story that made me realize that I loved writing and that I wanted to learn how to do it well. I didn’t really understand what made a good story at that point. What I did know was the type of story I wanted to write. It took me a while to realize it, but the themes of that story have carried over into a lot of my more recent writing. I still write about magic, because my second grade dreams of flying away to Fairyland will never be lost entirely. I still write about family, both blood-related and found family, because my own family has always been there to support me. While I still love singing and acting, I now know that writing and editing are what I want to do with my life. Years later, I still can’t choose just one dream. It’s a good thing I have a lifetime to experience those dreams and to write about people who shine like the sun.

When I was about ten years old and first diagnosed with Lyme Disease, I came up with the idea for an app called Lyme-Aid. The idea was an app that would use AI technology to identify images of things such as bugs and bites that might help with diagnosing Lyme and similar illnesses. My physical therapist loved the idea, and I even took an app-making class to try and understand how to make it possible (though the only thing I created in the class was a level of a dog platformer game). Last month, I presented the idea at UMBC's Idea Fair and placed second in my track. While I'm an English and Media & Communications major and certainly don't have the skills or knowledge to make the idea a reality, it was an amazing moment to see the impact I could have by raising awareness of the illnesses I have dealt with for half my life. Lyme, along with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, was my first major health diagnosis. While Lyme isn't an autoimmune disease, it mimics a lot of the symptoms, and there is research supporting the idea that POTS might be one. My sister had been diagnosed with POTS and EDS before me, but I was the first to be diagnosed with Lyme. She followed my lead a few years later; it seems like we always seem to be copying each other's chronic illnesses. It was a huge relief to finally have an explanation for the problems I was having because I literally couldn't stand up for five minutes without crying. There have been times when I've had to acknowledge that there are things I'm just not capable of doing. Learning about spoon theory was an incredible help in describing the challenges I face. I think this is one of the aspects that has had the largest impact on my life. I've had to live with symptoms from my chronic illness for a very long time, and as a result, I'm starting to understand when I can't keep pushing myself. That's something I've struggled with a lot. I want to do everything! I'm passionate about so many different things, and it's hard knowing that I often have to choose which is most important to me due to my health. But I think that's played a major part in helping me slow down and enjoy the moment. I'm so grateful that my parents understand my health issues and support me in moving at my own pace, because having the opportunity to do things like taking fewer classes each semester is going to be a big help, and it means I have the time and the energy to plan out my goals while also doing the things I love now. I've found ways to do what I love in a way that I can manage through things like creating and selling art. I've produced enamel pins that I'm planning to sell soon! The internet provides some amazing opportunities that make it possible for me to do the things I love in an environment that doesn't cause so much pain or take so much energy. It's incredible to have the opportunity to be surrounded by others who understand what I'm going through and to be able to offer support and be offered support right back. The kindness in the disabled community and the way that everyone comes together to understand each other is inspiring, and it makes me want to be the kind of person who does the same.