During the beginning of the pandemic, I experienced depression for the first time. In my depression, it felt like there was an immobilizing force sitting on my chest, disabling me from handling my daily responsibilities from school to housework. I watched opportunities that I was passionate about getting deferred repeatedly because I did not have the mental capacity to engage. My depression created this feeling of being in a constant cycle of, not only disappointing the people around me but failing myself, which hurt the most. Within the suffering, I tried to logically analyze my experience. I spent hours toying with different reasons of why the depression didn’t make sense. I always would circle back to, I had “no real reason” to be sad. This was not necessarily true because as a proud black, fat, lesbian, woman, with so many other intersectionalities, the world gives me plenty to be sad about however the truth is that depression is so much more than a chronic sadness. It is so much more than the laziness or the general gloomy energy that is often associated with depression. Depression was a dam blocking the flow of connection between my being and my life. Depression was attacking me long before I even realized who it was. Then once it had a name, it would gaslight me into believing I was making it up or it wasn’t real with a spontaneous day or hour of productivity, elation, a surge of life energy flowing through my body, giving the illusion of balance and peace. I would feel like I could breathe again, just for it to come back mid-inhale vacuuming up all available oxygen leaving me gasping for what was no longer there. Depression isn’t all extreme. Most days it was just going through everyday living in muted color, void of any inspiration. Life was just routine and cycle. Every part of depression demanded to be felt and explored. By invalidating my experience I was only deferring my healing. So I learned to choose grace and to honor where I am every single day. I went to therapy where I was able to identify and reconnect to the things that I had lost in the storm of depression that are vital for my daily health. I learned things that I thought were just hobbies like meditating or journaling were crucial for me. They are medicine. I don’t know when I truly started climbing out of the depression hole but one day I was okay again. I began to fall deeper in love with life and myself. I started to create again. Sometimes I can feel depression creeping on the outskirts of my mind but I have a different skill set of how to catch it sooner, process what I’m feeling, and ground myself in what keeps myself, my energy, and my emotions flowing. I learned that mental health recovery is a never-ending experience and it takes constant self-evaluation to ensure I am caring for myself in a way that makes my joy sustainable.

Providing holistic gynecological, prenatal, and postpartum care is a vocation that I want to pursue. I value holistic care because by uniting the dualities of Western and Eastern medicine, one can more thoroughly meet a patient’s needs. As a midwife, I aspire to have my own midwifery practice that will provide quality holistic care, centering Black and Indigenous birthing people. Being here at my illustrious HBCU, provides a unique experience that feels like a gift. Here I have found people who not only have passions and goals that align with mine, but who also look like me. In the “real world” it is extremely rare to find other black queer women who are passionate about birth justice and holistic health right across the lawn. So far I have joined multiple organizations centered around reproductive health and justice. The first of which is The Periodt Supply Hub which provides free menstrual supplies to menstruating Lincoln University Students. We also hold events centered around education on reproductive health for people with uteruses and have health tips and facts on our Instagram page. I am also a member of Generation Action LU. This organization is partnered with Planned Parenthood and is centered around reproductive health. We host educational events about sex and how to have safe sex whether that is about preventing the spread of sexually transmitted infections, emotional safety, consent, preventing unwanted pregnancies, etc. I have begun taking classes about the human body and continued attending virtual events centered around midwifery outside of school. With the various opportunities to form relationships with other black people in my future field of impact, I feel that I am in alignment with my aspirations both in and out of the lecture hall. I feel that so much more goes into a degree than a gpa and how well one performs in their classes. It is about the experiences, the community service, the connections, and interactions you have along the way. Currently, I am a Pre-Nursing major which will be the foundation of my clinical knowledge. I aspire to be a well rounded midwife. After college, I plan to be an apprentice for a black midwife. Learning from a black midwife is vital to me because I value culturally appropriate care, especially because of the sacredness of birth and the ability to provide such care when there is no emergency. Creating space for cultural practices and the autonomy of the birthing person is crucial in birth spaces. I aspire to have my own practice that provides quality holistic care centering Black and Indigenous birthing people.

Providing holistic gynecological, prenatal, and postpartum care is a vocation that I want to pursue. I value holistic care because by uniting the dualities of Western and Eastern medicine, one can more thoroughly meet a patient’s needs. As a midwife, I aspire to have my own midwifery practice that will provide quality holistic care, centering Black and Indigenous birthing people. Being here at my illustrious HBCU, provides a unique experience that feels like a gift. Here I have found people who not only have passions and goals that align with mine, but who also look like me. In the “real world” it is extremely rare to find other black queer women who are passionate about birth justice and holistic health right across the lawn. So far I have joined multiple organizations centered around reproductive health and justice. The first of which is The Periodt Supply Hub which provides free menstrual supplies to menstruating Lincoln University Students. We also hold events centered around education on reproductive health for people with uteruses and have health tips and facts on our Instagram page. I am also a member of Generation Action LU. This organization is partnered with Planned Parenthood and is centered around reproductive health. We host educational events about sex and how to have safe sex whether that is about preventing the spread of sexually transmitted infections, emotional safety, consent, preventing unwanted pregnancies, etc. I have begun taking classes about the human body and continued attending virtual events centered around midwifery outside of school. With the various opportunities to form relationships with other black people in my future field of impact, I feel that I am in alignment with my aspirations both in and out of the lecture hall. I feel that so much more goes into a degree than a gpa and how well one performs in their classes. It is about the experiences, the community service, the connections, and interactions you have along the way. Currently, I am a Pre-Nursing major which will be the foundation of my clinical knowledge. I aspire to be a well rounded midwife. After college, I plan to be an apprentice for a black midwife. Learning from a black midwife is vital to me because I value culturally appropriate care, especially because of the sacredness of birth and the ability to provide such care when there is no emergency. Creating space for cultural practices and the autonomy of the birthing person is crucial in birth spaces. I aspire to have my own practice that provides quality holistic care centering Black and Indigenous birthing people.

My biggest passion in life is the healing and joy of my community, the Black community, and all of our intersecting identities within. During my junior year of high school, I wanted to volunteer somewhere that resonated with who I was and my interests. I contacted a local black midwife and had the opportunity to volunteer at her practice It was crucial to me to volunteer for this midwife in particular, because not only could she provide insight on entry into her field as a black woman, but she also used holistic methods and kept her practice as natural as possible while providing the best care. During this internship, I was able to sit in on a couple of appointments, learning about different procedures while also learning the scope of what she does in her role. Because she is also the owner of her practice, I also learned a little bit about the business aspect of owning a practice, while I helped her organize paperwork and strategize client payment plans. Through this midwifery internship, I discovered that providing holistic gynecological, prenatal, and postpartum care is a vocation that I am destined to pursue. During my senior year of high school, I was in AP Research where I was able to create, organize and execute an original year-long research project of my choice, followed by a research paper and presentation. My topic was Black and Indigenous midwifery accessibility. I received over 400 responses to my survey from birthing people across the United States. Answers varied from lack of information about midwifery to lack of financial accessibility. Starting here, I aspire to enter the midwifery field, as I am dedicated to birth work as a form of activism to decolonize birth spaces and incorporate culturally appropriate practices. As a midwife, I will have my own midwifery practice that will provide quality holistic care, centering Black and Brown birthing people.

My biggest influence in life is the healing and joy of my community, the Black community, and all of our intersecting identities within. During my junior year of high school, I wanted to volunteer somewhere that resonated with who I was and my interests. I contacted a local black midwife and had the opportunity to volunteer at her practice. It was crucial to me to volunteer for this midwife in particular, because not only could she provide insight on entry into her field as a black woman, but she also used holistic methods and kept her practice as natural as possible while providing the best care. During this internship, I was able to sit in on a couple of appointments, learning about different procedures while also learning the scope of what she does in her role. Because she is also the owner of her practice, I also learned a little bit about the business aspect of owning a practice, while I helped her organize paperwork and strategize client payment plans. Through this midwifery internship, I discovered that providing holistic gynecological, prenatal, and postpartum care is a vocation that I am destined to pursue. During my senior year of high school, I was in AP Research where I was able to create, organize and execute an original year-long research project of my choice, followed by a research paper and presentation. My topic was Black and Indigenous midwifery accessibility. I received over 400 responses to my survey from birthing people across the United States. Answers varied from lack of information about midwifery to lack of financial accessibility. Starting here, I aspire to enter the midwifery field, as I am dedicated to birth work as a form of activism to decolonize birth spaces and incorporate culturally appropriate practices. As a midwife, I will have my own midwifery practice that will provide quality holistic care, centering Black and Brown birthing people.