I dream of a future where I am someone my younger self would be proud of.

Mental illness has been a part of my everyday life for as long as I can remember. I began getting molested when I was 9 years old. At 11, I began self-harming. At 12, I started taking anxiety medication that never really worked. At 14, I attempted to take my own life. I felt as though there was no one I could turn to for help. I felt scared and alone. I suffered from severe post-traumatic stress disorder(PTSD), depression, anxiety, and much more. I felt as though I was drowning in my own brain and no one could help me. I am now 17. I never thought I'd live to see the day when I apply for colleges and scholarships. I honestly believed I'd be dead by now. Although some days getting out of bed still seems impossible, I am here to see that day. I am no longer getting abused. I am one-year self-harm free. I have a wonderful support system. My parents now understand what I've been through and encourage me in all my dreams. They have always loved me, it just took a while for me to realize it. I have fought hard, and I am proud of who I've become. My own experiences with mental health and recovery have changed how I see the world: I believe our mental health system is flawed. I believe that medication is not the only answer and mental health days are just as important as sick days. I believe that hope is stronger than fear and while love alone can not conquer all, it definitely helps. Addiction is an illness- not a personal failure, and everyone deserves treatment and support. Suicide attempts are not selfish, but a cry for help. Talking about your problems is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you stick with recovery long enough, it will work. But most importantly: no one should fight alone. I dream of a future where we all can have the support we need. But I want to do more than dream. I want to make a difference. Soon, I will begin college. I will get my degree in psychology and become a child and adolescent psychologist. I have made it my mission in life to help children and teenagers that feel unloved and unwanted- much like I did. Whether it be trauma, a breakup, the death of a loved one, or any number of things, everyone is going through something. I want to make sure that they don’t have to go through it alone. I will strive to help everyone I can. Whether that be through counseling, volunteering, or simply being a friend. Sometimes the smallest things make the biggest difference in someone's life. Life is hard for everyone. I know this. So why should I get this scholarship over all the other applicants? I can’t answer that. All I can tell you is that if I get this scholarship, I will use it to go to college and make this world a better place. As you can see, I dream of a bright future, and I need your help to get there.

For many years, I was bullied for who I was. Everything from my clothes to my personality was scrutinized. I began to hate everything about myself. I was ashamed of who I was. So I decided to change it. I wore different clothes and shoes. I learned to do my hair and makeup. I stopped eating to be "skinny." I began to hang out with the "popular kids." I talked, walked, and acted differently. I gave up everything I was. But as Rita Mae Brown says, "I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself." And that's exactly what happened. I began to hate myself more than I already had. I isolated myself. I became depressed and overwhelmed. I looked in the mirror and didn't realize who was looking back at me. I had become someone I didn't recognize. I grew tired of the game I was playing. Who did I think I was fooling anyways? So I stopped trying to be something I wasn't: perfect. I started dressing and acting how I wanted to. I learned to care more about how I felt about myself rather than what others thought of me. Although I've lost a lot of friends along the way, I've learned to love who I am. I finally realized what was unique about me: everything. The things that made me different, were also the things that made me special. The things that I was bullied for weren't flaws, they were simply a part of who I am. And I believe that every part is important. Throughout my life, I've learned that everyone is different. No life path is one-size-fits-all. Everyone must find their own path to follow. Mine had a rocky start, but I"m getting where I need to be. Soon, I will begin college. I will get my degree in psychology and become a child and adolescent psychologist. I have made it my mission in life to help children and teenagers that feel as though they should be ashamed of who they are- much as I did. Whether it be trauma, bullying, the death of a loved one, or any number of things, everyone is going through something. I want to make sure that they don’t have to go through it alone. I will strive to help everyone I can. According to Booker T. Washington, "If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else."

Mental illness has been a part of my everyday life for as long as I can remember. I began getting molested when I was 9 years old. At 11, I began self-harming. At 12, I started taking anxiety medication that never really worked. At 14, I attempted to take my own life. I felt as though there was no one I could turn to for help. I felt scared and alone. I suffered from severe post-traumatic stress disorder(PTSD), depression, anxiety, and much more. I felt as though I was drowning in my own brain and no one could help me. I am now 17. I never thought I'd live to see the day when I apply for colleges and scholarships. I honestly believed I'd be dead by now. Although some days getting out of bed still seems impossible, I am here to see that day. I am no longer getting abused. I am one-year self-harm free. I have a wonderful support system. My parents now understand what I've been through and encourage me in all my dreams. They have always loved me, it just took a while for me to realize it. I have fought hard, and I am proud of who I've become. My own experiences with mental health and recovery have changed how I see the world: I believe our mental health system is flawed. I believe that medication is not the only answer and mental health days are just as important as sick days. I believe that hope is stronger than fear and while love alone can not conquer all, it definitely helps. Addiction is an illness- not a personal failure, and everyone deserves treatment and support. Suicide attempts are not selfish, but a cry for help. Talking about your problems is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you stick with recovery long enough, it will work. But most importantly: no one should fight alone. I dream of a future where we all can have the support we need. But I want to do more than dream. I want to make a difference. Soon, I will begin college. I will get my degree in psychology and become a child and adolescent psychologist. I have made it my mission in life to help children and teenagers that feel unloved and unwanted- much like I did. Whether it be trauma, a breakup, the death of a loved one, or any number of things, everyone is going through something. I want to make sure that they don’t have to go through it alone. I will strive to help everyone I can. Whether that be through counseling, volunteering, or simply being a friend. Sometimes the smallest things make the biggest impact in someone's life.

For many years, I was bullied for who I was. Everything from my clothes to my personality was scrutinized. I began to hate everything about myself. I was ashamed of who I was. So I decided to change it. I wore different clothes and shoes. I learned to do my hair and makeup. I stopped eating to be "skinny." I began to hang out with the "popular kids." I talked, walked, and acted differently. I gave up everything I was. But as Rita Mae Brown says, "I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself." And that's exactly what happened. I began to hate myself more than I already had. I isolated myself. I became depressed and overwhelmed. I looked in the mirror and didn't realize who was looking back at me. I had become someone I didn't recognize. I grew tired of the game I was playing. Who did I think I was fooling anyways? So I stopped trying to be something I wasn't: perfect. I started dressing and acting how I wanted to. I learned to care more about how I felt about myself rather than what others thought of me. Although I've lost a lot of friends along the way, I've learned to love who I am. I finally realized what was unique about me: everything. The things that made me different, were also the things that made me special. The things that I was bullied for weren't flaws, they were simply a part of who I am. And I believe that every part is important. Throughout my life, I've learned that everyone is different. No life path is one-size-fits-all. Everyone must find their own path to follow. Mine had a rocky start, but I"m getting where I need to be. Soon, I will begin college. I will get my degree in psychology and become a child and adolescent psychologist. I have made it my mission in life to help children and teenagers that feel as though they should be ashamed of who they are- much as I did. Whether it be trauma, bullying, the death of a loved one, or any number of things, everyone is going through something. I want to make sure that they don’t have to go through it alone. I will strive to help everyone I can. According to Booker T. Washington, "If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else."

Mental illness has been a part of my everyday life for as long as I can remember. I began getting molested when I was 9 years old. At 11, I began self-harming. At 12, I started taking anxiety medication that never really worked. At 14, I attempted to take my own life. I felt as though there was no one I could turn to for help. I felt scared and alone. I suffered from severe post-traumatic stress disorder(PTSD), depression, anxiety, and much more. I felt as though I was drowning in my own brain and no one could help me. I am now 17. I never thought I'd live to see the day when I apply for colleges and scholarships. I honestly believed I'd be dead by now. Although some days getting out of bed still seems impossible, I am here to see that day. I am no longer getting abused. I am one-year self-harm free. I have a wonderful support system. My parents now understand what I've been through and encourage me in all my dreams. They have always loved me, it just took a while for me to realize it. I have fought hard, and I am proud of who I've become. My own experiences with mental health and recovery have changed how I see the world: I believe our mental health system is flawed. I believe that medication is not the only answer and mental health days are just as important as sick days. I believe that hope is stronger than fear and while love alone can not conquer all, it definitely helps. Addiction is an illness- not a personal failure, and everyone deserves treatment and support. Suicide attempts are not selfish, but a cry for help. Talking about your problems is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you stick with recovery long enough, it will work. But most importantly: no one should fight alone. I dream of a future where we all can have the support we need. But I want to do more than dream. I want to make a difference. Soon, I will begin college. I will get my degree in psychology and become a child and adolescent psychologist. I have made it my mission in life to help children and teenagers that feel unloved and unwanted- much like I did. Whether it be trauma, a breakup, the death of a loved one, or any number of things, everyone is going through something. I want to make sure that they don’t have to go through it alone. I will strive to help everyone I can. Whether that be through counseling, volunteering, or simply being a friend. Sometimes the smallest things make the biggest difference in someone's life. Life is hard for everyone. I know this. So why should I get this scholarship over all the other applicants? I can’t answer that. All I can tell you is that if I get this scholarship, I will use it to go to college and make this world a better place. As you can see, I dream of a bright future, and I need your help to get there.

I was 14 years old when I attempted to take my own life. I sat in the dark and took too many pills, praying for it all to be over. My mom took me to the hospital. I remember the taste of the charcoal they gave me. I remember saying that I was sorry. That they should have just let me die. I told them the truth: I was being molested. The place I lived was not a home and I couldn’t go back there. I believe that there is a point in everyone’s life when they give up. Mine was the morning after my attempt. I realized that I had truly lost everything. Everyone knew the truth now. There was no hiding. I was more scared than I ever had been. Somewhere between that day and now, I began to heal. I don’t know when that happened. It feels like yesterday and at the same time 300 years ago that I cried myself to sleep every night. Some days, I’m not convinced I have healed. Some days, I still feel his hands on me. Some days, I cry on the floor because I am not worthy of a bed. Some days, I want to give up. But some days, I cook. Some days, I drink tea and watch movies. Some days, I dance and sing. Some days, I look at my family and wonder how I could ever leave them behind. Those are the days I live for. Frankly, life sucks. It always has, and always will. But sometimes, you just have to keep going. On the hard days, give yourself grace. Bake a cake, read a book, take a bath. If you can’t sit with yourself, find someone to sit with you. The world is a beautiful place if you get to know it. I dream of a bright future. One with more good things than bad. A future where I can laugh more than I cry and love more than this world can handle. A future where we all can have the support we need. I have big dreams for this world. Bigger than I can handle. So I will start small. I want to graduate. I want to go to college. I want to help kids. I want to grow up and have a future I never dreamed I would get to see. I am ready for the future. I hope the future is ready for me.

I want to help people. I know everyone wants to help in some way, but I need it. I need to help people like I need oxygen. As a child, I was molested. I felt alone and scared. At 14, I attempted to take my own life. It is a horrible feeling to hate yourself so much that you wish you were dead. No one deserves to die. Life is to short to spend it hating yourself. I have made it my mission in life to help children and teenagers that feel that way. I want to help people that feel like I did. Whether it be trauma, a breakup, death of a loved one, or any number of things, everyone is going through something. I want to make sure that they don’t have to go through it alone. Next spring, I will begin college. I will start at my local community college, then transfer to a four-year university. I will get my degree in psychology and become a child psychologist. Life is hard for everyone. I know this. So why should I get this scholarship over all the other applicants? I can’t answer that. All I can tell you is that if I get this scholarship, I will use it to go to college and make this world a better place. I dream of a bright future, and I need your help to get there. Thank you for your time, and I am deeply sorry for the loss of David Lopez.