I have been working in EMS since I was 19. I was just about to test for my Advanced EMT when Covid happened and the testing centers were closed for almost a year. So I worked as a Basic instead, and saw horrible things, things during Covid that would give me nightmares, and still do. I lived with my best friends then, Nick, who was autistic so he could not work, and Damon. Damon followed me in being an EMT, and we both worked so much during that time. Nick was by himself a lot, and when we were home we were usually asleep. In 2021, my grandmother, who was a nurse, committed suicide. She had been a nurse for 30 years and was months away from retirement. I don't want to speculate on why she did it, but it may have been a fear of being called back to the bedside. She worked so hard to vaccinate darn near the whole county we lived in. All she wanted was for the world to return to her normal, and it didn't look like it ever would. A month later, while Damon and I were both home and sleeping off a shift, we woke to find Nick dead on our couch. The official verdict was Covid. We both slept through him texting us, and it haunted me a long time. We worked on him for an hour, and we lived out in the woods and it took some time for EMS to get there, which was ironic. The guilt, of first my grandmother, and then my best friend, dying and not being able to help, it was very hard to get through. I miss them both every day. When the testing centers opened again, I felt like it had been too long since I finished the program. So I went back through it. But again I did not test and waited too long. I think I had some unresolved PTSD to work through. I love helping people though. You don't do this job for the money, in fact I made just as much saving lives now as I did at McDonalds, which is hard to believe. How did these experiences shape my life? Well, I will tell you. People who say Covid was a myth, didn't walk into houses with people deceased in each room, ghost houses. I did. I don't know what caused Covid to happen but something killed people. And it's not my job to figure out why it came about; but to take care of the people it impacted. And that's how I got through Covid, one day at a time. Everyday is precious. Its not guaranteed. As someone who sees people on the worst day of their lives, and their loved ones' lives, this lesson is hammered home to me everyday. I try to be the calm, positive aspect in these interactions. I try to be the thing they remember, the kid that got them a blanket or a coffee. Small things make such a big impact. Small things and small changes actually can turn someone's world around. There are so many cliches about taking that first step. But they are all 100 percent accurate. It takes strength to get out of bed. And it takes strength to deceide well maybe today I need the bed. Today I need the day to recharge so I can go back out tomorrow and make a measurable difference. I may not be able to see the difference for some time, but I have to have hope.

I've been working since I was 15.My first job was at a McDonalds, and I learned so much about people skills there- people are in a hurry, upset easily, and dont necessarily value interaction in a drive thru. As an EMT,I see people at their worst: scared, confused, and upset. I am usually the first person seen by someone needing assistance, and it's up to me to keep them calm and reassured. I believe small interactions can make a big impact. By this point, i have the skills, i just need to test. I began working in EMS when I was 19. I went to school for my Advanced EMT, but Covid happened just as I graduated and the testing centers were closed for almost a year. By the time they opened back, I felt like I had waited too long to test. So I went back through the program, but this time I did not test due to some personal issues- I guess I had some undiagnosed PTSD from Covid. My grandmother and my best friend both died during Covid. But I am going through the program again, and I feel mentally adequately prepared to test at completion this time. I love to help others, and I feel like the best days are when I know I have. Everyday I see some regulars who call 911 frequently, even to where we are on a first name basis. I actually made more at McDonalds then I do here in EMS and I think that's wild, but I genuinely love my job. Feel like that love translates through what i do, and all my EMS family feels the same- we don't do this for the money, at all. That's why I want to get my Advanced, and from there move to Paramedic. The school I want to go to has a Fire/Paramedic program, so I will be qualified to also be in a fire brigade and help others that way as well. This time, i will be going through the program with a newly acquired work and life balance. I was working almost everyday while i was in school, and i have a better plan this time. The point is i will never stop trying. My step children will be able to look up to what I do and know I make a difference. The burnout in this profession is real, but I want to stay in Healthcare. So, after I obtain my Paramedic, I may go on to nursing school.

EMS personnel are usually the first responders to a scene. They arrive before police, before fire fighters in some cases. So many lives depend on quick thinking and staying calm in a crisis. I have been working in EMS already since I graduated high school. I see a lot of regular clients who have no other transportation for dialysis and the emergency room other than me. I have gotten to know them on a first name basis, and they know me as well. I have held the hands of those who feel they have no where to turn, and I have hugged those whose family members did not have a successful resuscitation. Ive talked people out from under beds who were having a break with reality. Ive sat in the back of the truck and listened to tracks on my phone with patients to either make them feel better, or calm them down. I finished going through Advanced EMT school just as Covid hit. Because of this, I was unable to test for almost a year. None of the testing centers were open. By the time they were open, I did not feel confident enough to try to take the test because I had only been working as a Basic EMT. The test is strictly protocol and book based, but during Covid, the book got thrown out on all levels of care. I worked all during Covid. I did not qualify to stay at home because I was considered essential personnel. I worked all during Covid, and also during that time,my grandmother committed suicide. She had been a nurse for my entire life. I hardly saw her because she was about to retire, and i was scared i would get her sick. My roomate, who had lived with me for years, and i considered my brother, died of Covid very shortly after she died. It was a very hard time. I went back to school, did the Advanced class again, and again, waited too long to test. This time, it was my own internal struggles and not a pandemic standing in my way. I am determined to take the class again, and this time, take the test. Its been so long since my last class that I have to retake it to be able to test. A lot has changed in the four years since I first went to school. I have 2 children who depend on me now, and I am the sole breadwinner in my family. I work hard so my girlfriend can spend her time with them as much as possible. Their needs come first, and it has prevented me from spending any extra money on school. And at twenty four years old, I'm too young to qualify for FAFSA on my own income, although I have supported myself, and now a family, for four years now. I would continue to work in my local area, as I have been, after I finish school. I would like to continue on to Paramedic school after working as an Advanced. I would have to get my skills as an advanced first, though. I've been a good EMT, and I think I am ready to be a good Advanced EMT. I just need some help, and I just needed some time to heal mentally, after Covid to be ready. Emergency medical technicians make less than the average person at McDonalds. I know, because I used to work at McDonalds. You have to love, really love, helping people because believe me, you aren't doing it for the money.