My everything is music. It is the only thing I want to do. Its is the only thing I can do. I have been playing music for eight years and performing for six and there has not been a single instance where I thought I don't want to do this or this is too hard it won't work out. I have been playing in bands since I was thirteen and gradually overtime the bands I resided in became more and more serious. When I was fifteen I joined a band named 3rd Street Down. It was the most established band I had ever been in and was what I planned to use as my vehicle of "making it". In 3rd Street Down we had a bright future in front of us with lots of what were supposed to be important shows that were going to take us to the next level but then Covid hit and wiped all that out. With that the band fell apart and I was left back at square one. Refusing to just roll over and quit I quickly decided to record my own music and release it as a solo project. I could not fathom just just quitting music just because I had had one setback. I was determined enough that I was going to do it all my self if I had to and I did. In fall of 2020 I began recording my single "See" for my debut solo project Blue Car. I wrote the song during the end of 3rd Street Down and thought it was the best representation of my music. In November I began recording "See" in my room performing al the instrumentation myself eventually releasing it March 5th, 2021. I wanted to continue in music and I had to do it for myself and I never came to any other conclusion than I am doing this because nothing else would even come close to fulfilling my like music does.

In 2020 I learned that things in my life did not have the concrete foundations I thought they possessed. As a musician this is a very common theme given that risky nature of such a profession. 2020 started out as what was seeming to be a pivotal year in my musical career. At the time I was the Guitarist and backup vocalist for an Alt R&B band called 3rd Street Down. 2020 was supposed to be the year that we started to "Make It". We had numerous gigs lined up in Chicago including playing the hard rock café and we were about to head into the studio to record new material. Then in March everything shut down and the world of music was easily one of the ones hit the hardest coming to a complete stop. With the new loss of opportunities and hope my band started to fall apart and motivation from other band members dwindled. Our lead singer and guitarist ended up moving to Arizona permanently putting 3rd Street Down on hiatus. This of course proved to be a setback and a removal of the vehicle I planned to use to reach my dreams of being a full time touring musician. In 3rd Street Down I was not the leader of said band so I did not have to worry about the responsibilities of that position. I was just able to sit back and play guitar and all I had to do was play, help writing music, and show up when and where I was told to be. It was a very comfortable situation. I had been the leader of my previous band Uptown Traffic and at times found it very stressful so the ability to not have that stress proved to be more desirable for me. With no band and no way to achieve my goals I quickly learned the temporary nature that things I based my life on had. Although I was given a major blow in my musical career I was still utterly determined to reach my dream of becoming a full time touring musician. I was previously the main writer in my band Uptown Traffic and continued to write original music while I was in 3rd Street Down along with being a collaborative writer. Given the amount of material that I had I decided to record my own music and release it as a solo project. In November of 2020 I began recording what would eventually become the debut single for my solo project Blue Car called "See". I downloaded a recording software to my laptop and turned my room into a home studio of sorts. Along with playing guitar I am able to play bass, drums, and sing. With this ability I began recording "See" entirely on my own recording all the instrumentation myself. I recorded "See" from November to January. Recording proved to be a challenge as I had to learn how to become my own producer and work recording software which had been done for me previously by whatever producer I was blessed enough to work with. In addition to that learning curve I had also contracted, the worst part of 2020, covid-19 on the day after Christmas. Given complications from covid-19 I had to wait to record vocals as my voice was not in the best shape. While I was recording "See" I looked for the next step in my musical career. That next step came in the form of deciding to move to Chicago and attend Columbia College Chicago. I wanted to take Blue Car somewhere and me along with it and Chicago is of course a land full of opportunities in the realm of music. "See" was released on March fifth of this year two weeks before my eighteenth birthday to positive reactions from my kind friends and family and the music scene I reside in. 2020 taught me that things are temporary and the only way to make them more permanent is to take the work in my own hands. Last year shaped my plans for the future by turning them upside down and making me start all over again with a new perspective and an even deeper determination to make my dreams a reality of becoming a professional touring musician.

My interest in music lies in the fact that it is the one thing I have done with the most consistency in my entire life. Music is the one thing I have always done and is the one thing I always want to do. I have been playing music since I was ten and started playing in bands when I was thirteen. Growing up in a musical household I just assumed that playing an instrument was a normal thing and that was what everyone did. Thankfully by the time I had found out that I did not have to play music I was already too hooked and showed no signs of turning back. On March fifth of this year I released the debut single from my new solo project Blue Car called "See". Blue Car is my third band/project I have worked on and is the one I plan to use to take me to where I want to be. My career aspirations in music are to be a full time touring musician. Living where I do however makes that goal rather hard though given the limited opportunities available. After playing in and around central Illinois for the last five years I have decided to move to Chicago and attend Columbia College Chicago to increase my possibilities for opportunity. I assume living in Chicago will be more beneficial to my musical career than seeing a corn field out my window. This next step in my musical journey is the reason for my need of this scholarship. Chicago is not cheap and I am a musician. It is no secret that the beginnings of a musical career entail cutting your teeth and barely getting by for a number of years. I have chosen to take on such a challenge however I do need help. Columbia College Chicago is rather on the more expensive side for schooling and I am by no means rich. Student debt will most definitely be in my future and not be the most favorable thing for a young musician like myself trying to make it. If I had more help in terms of money from this scholarship it would allow me not to have to worry as much about the inevitable debt that I will be in. The beginnings of a musical career are not blessed with the riches that Paul McCartney or Bono posses. With this scholarship the lack of money would not be such a problem and would not allow things like student debt to hold me back from making my dreams a reality.

The current project I am pursuing is my new solo project Blue Car. Blue Car is a solo project I started after my last band Third Street Down ended. Wanting to start something new for the next part of my music journey I formed Blue Car. In late November I began recording my debut single "See" in my room using my laptop performing all the instrumentation myself. I mixed the song in February with producer Matt Rush. Matt Rush is a producer that I formerly worked with with Third Street Down on the last two singles released with that band. I released my debut single "See" March fifth. In late August I am moving to Chicago to attend Columbia College Chicago majoring in music. With Chicago's large music scene I hope to take full advantage of all the opportunities Chicago has to offer. My plan for Blue Car is to use it as a vehicle to see my dream of being a touring musician come true and to continue releasing original music. I plan to find a permanent line up for Blue Car eventually to make it into a full band and not just a solo project. My creative ambitions for the future are to continue to write and release music and hopefully release a full album under a label. Along with releasing music I hope to tour on said music when touring can return to normal.

If money wasn't an issue I would purse music full time. As a young musician still cutting my teeth money of course is not in an abundant supply. Along with being a musician I work at a restaurant called Haynes on Main as a front and back kitchen cook. Every paycheck I get I save. The only things I spend money on are essentials such as food and gas. In September I will be attending college at Columbia College Chicago. Being my first year of college and first time living in a big city like Chicago, very unlike my town three hours away of less than five thousand, I have decided not to get a job my first year. So my first year of college I will only have the money I have saved from working as much as I can at my job. This amount of money will eventually run out as it is nothing spectacular especially living in a pricy city such as Chicago. Chicago being an expensive city also brings along my expensive tuition at thirty thousand dollars. If I did not have to worry about money I wouldn't be concerned with the money I have running out and being in student debt for God knows how many years. Most importantly I would be able to do what I am there for in the first place, Music. If money wasn't any issue I would be able to freely purse music and not have to constantly worry about money. I would be able to do music purely for the love and want of making music. When the need of making money through music becomes like a pending guillotine waving above ones head the process of making music becomes not about their connection with music and their love for but instead a uninspired excuse for art. If money wasn't an issue I would never have worry about my most beloved passion and dream in life being reduced to another life sucking job to only make ends meet ruining the reasons I started in the first place which was simply to be able to express myself through making music.

My journey with self-love and acceptance has greatly enriched my relationships and aspirations. As most journeys with self-love mine started when I lacked said ability. By the time I was a freshman in high school I had become decently over weight weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds at only five foot eight. Weighing two hundred and thirty pounds at fourteen presented a vast array of problems. The worst being having a negative view of myself and the way I looked. This negative view was of coursed fueled by constant jokes at my expense for being over weight. Most of the jokes I would just brush off acting like they were nothing when they were in fact just the opposite. At that time I lacked self esteem greatly. Everyday I would usually wear darker clothes to try to appear slimmer. On top of darker clothes I would wear a sweatshirt or very commonly flannels about everyday to try and cover up my weight. Eventually I grew extremely tired of being overweight and began working out everyday. I began my fitness journey by running a mile everyday in my back yard. With this regiment I began dropping weight very quickly. What I was losing in weight I began to gain in confidence. Over the time span of freshman year to the begging of my junior year I had dropped down to one hundred and sixty pounds at five foot ten. Losing seventy pounds did amazing things for my self esteem and I finally was able to get to a stage where self-love wasn't as hard. The happiness from that accomplishment flooded over in to everything else making me just truly happy for once. With that immense growth in confidence came great things in every other aspect of my life. I was more adamant in reaching goals and achievements and was able to do so with my new found drive that blessed my life. During the time of my weight loss I had fronted a band performing original music. Such a task definitely takes self confidence and drive which I do not think would have been possible to do if I had not been able to find such self-love. My journey in self-love has made me who I am today and has made everything in my life better for it.

"See" started from just sitting down playing guitar coming up with riffs. I wrote the chorus/intro riff first and later wrote the verse and solo parts while recording. My inspiration for the lyrics came after the band I was playing in at the time, 3rd Street Down, had reached it inevitable natural end due to various reasons and I had to face the next step in my pursuit of a musical career. The overall theme of the lyrics is being tired of worrying what's coming next and just wanting someone to tell you already. I recorded my debut single "See" on my laptop performing all the instrumentation and vocals recording in my room and later having it mixed/mastered by a producer I had worked with.

I want to create Music. The reason why I create music aligns perfectly with what I want to say through music. I create music as a sort of therapy. The relationship I have with music stems directly from feeling. When I listen to music, I listen to whatever fits how I'm feeling. When creating music myself, I write music that can represent how I'm feeling. It is like having the right key for the right lock, always opening the door and being able to walk through. Music is therapeutic for me because it lets me release whatever I have bottled up inside. Putting those bottled up feelings to music and lyrics helps me say everything I need and want to say giving me complete closure. In regards to what I want to say with music, I want to solely say what I'm feeling. I think it is vital for the world to see my creation because I know someone else out there feels exactly how I feel. It would mean more than the world to me if my music could be someone's source of therapy, as so many bands and artists are for me. To be able to connect with an audience as such is one of the most fulfilling experiences I could ever imagine. I want to create music because music is my lifeline and there is absolutely nothing else that I could fathom doing for the rest of my life that could bring me as much joy and fulfillment as music does.