I couldn’t focus on the cool, silky bedsheets that offered a comforting touch from the summer heat. I couldn’t focus on the way that my moonlit room still faintly smelled like Mom’s homemade, chocolate chip, cookies. What held my mind captive was the sheer terror that panged through me as I suddenly awoke, heart racing, believing that my death was imminent. There was no one in that room to tell me that what I was experiencing was the first of many panic attacks that would ensue over the years and, eventually, earn itself a diagnosis. I would experience derealization, and I often felt drained after these episodes – it was like everything suddenly became harder the next day. My peers didn’t seem to understand what was going on, and as a result, my heart was wounded. When I eventually told my mom what was happening, she cried. She told me that she just wanted me to be happy. I imagine she felt powerless to help her teen since she didn’t have any tools to give. She did, however, have a whole lot of love that would convince me of the fruitfulness of being loved and known. Well, it was either that or the extra cookies she’d bake for me. As I acquired tools and coping skills over the next decade, a hunger rumbled loudly through me that I wanted to help others heal from their challenges. After considering a couple of different career pathways, I felt called to pursue clinical mental health counseling. However, I couldn’t sit still knowing that it was going to take several years to earn both degrees that would enable me to establish my private practice, so in 2020, mid-Covid, I started my own lifestyle coaching business to help those struggling with sadness, stress, thought life, grief, shame, and so on. Outside of my business, I have organized and presented anxiety and depression relief seminars and other mental health seminars for my local community. I have been honored to watch the “lightbulb moment” come on for people during these well-attended talks. While my mom couldn’t give me the “tools” I needed to be where I am today, she gave me the greatest gift imaginable: love in motion. Her support is one of the things that kept me moving forward, and her example of love and kindness taught me how the best answer for anyone (client or not) is sometimes the one where we listen and don’t try to fix. We bake them the extra cookie, so to speak, so that they can find their voice. I would be most grateful to receive the “Ginny Biada Memorial Scholarship” because it would continue to affirm the career path that God has shown me. After graduation, I plan to go into private practice and open a holistic, Christian-influenced, wellness center. It will offer people in rural and underserved areas services such as counseling, adjunct therapies (like infrared saunas and massage), and host free-to-low-cost support groups, workshops, and skill-building classes (like fitness and cooking). I want everyone to have access to the whole-health services that they deserve. I believe it would help propel the Gospel, and ultimately, it would help those who didn’t grow up experiencing love in motion. This scholarship would support all of that.

I couldn’t focus on the cool, silky bedsheets that offered a comforting touch from the summer heat. I couldn’t focus on the way that my moonlit room still faintly smelled like Mom’s homemade, chocolate chip, cookies. What held my mind captive was the sheer terror that panged through me as I suddenly awoke, heart racing, believing that my death was imminent. There was no one in that room to tell me that what I was experiencing was the first of many panic attacks that would ensue over the years and, eventually, earn a diagnosis. I would often feel drained after these episodes, and my peers didn’t seem to understand my “invisible” illness. When I eventually told my mom what was happening, she cried. She told me that she just wanted me to be happy. I imagine she felt powerless to help her teen since she didn’t have any tools to give. She did, however, have a whole lot of love that would convince me that we all deserve to be fully loved and known. Well…it was either that or the extra cookies she’d bake for me. As I acquired tools and coping skills over the next decade, a hunger rumbled loudly through me that I wanted to help others heal from their own challenges. After considering ministry as a female pastor, I saw that I was instead called to pursue clinical mental health counseling. However, I couldn’t sit still knowing that it was going to take several years to earn both degrees that would enable me to establish my private practice, so in 2020, mid-Covid and amid uncertainties, I started my own lifestyle coaching business to help those suffering with sadness, stress, their thought life, grief, shame, and so on. I believe that our spiritual and physical health is connected to our emotional health, so I also started coaching on Christian living, nutrition, weight loss, and goal setting for condition/disease improvement or reversal. I’m grateful to be closely mentored by an osteopathic physician who invests in me and celebrates the victories that our clients/patients experience (see: http://dayspringintegrativewellness.com/about/). It has been an amazing experience to watch Dr. Zach treat his patients; his practice focuses on helping people holistically, and I’m thankful for all the opportunities we get to promote healing when it comes even to mental health. It’s hard work to keep up with research and learn new strategies for each unique person we help, but it’s worth it! We have seen clients make measurable growth that they never thought was possible. Outside of my business, I mentor a couple of teens/young adults as they navigate relationships and adulthood, and I try my best to be a “big sister” to them so that they can learn from my successes and challenges. Spending time with people who have your best interest in mind and can communicate love is a healing place. I also have volunteered to organize and market anxiety and depression relief seminars in my local community. I have been honored to watch the “lightbulb moment” come on for people during these well-attended talks. I imagine it would have been helpful for my teen self to attend and realize that she wasn't uniquely defective. One of my favorite ways I volunteer is to lead a small, co-ed, group called “13 Weeks to Peace.” We meet once a week for three months at a time and discuss topics from a workbook for an hour and a half. The first time I acted as the facilitator, I had 12 members – a number a bit high for a “small” group and, honestly, a little out of my comfort zone. However, it was the most memorable group I’ve led because of the quality discussion, relationship care and support, shared vulnerability, and the significant amount of healing that took place. I believe that God was central to helping me with my mental infirmities, and even though there were dark times, my experiences weren’t in vain. I believe that my pain was recycled to be able to understand what others go through and to foster a non-judgmental spirit. My pain has helped me to have compassion for others and relate to their stories. A big thing for me had always been that I wanted to be free of medication, and I wasn’t sure that it would ever happen – but it did! I’ve come to believe that many people can be freed from substances that they don’t want if they have the right kind of support. Being a part of someone’s journey back to wholeness is a great joy, and I have come to appreciate the privileges, opportunities, and family/friend support system that I now have. I know that not everyone has it, but I hope to equip people so they can have it! My mental health journey showed me the relationships in my life that were rich and real, and the people who were manipulative or self-seeking were weeded out. I’m in a place where I’m happy and healthy, and it has stayed consistently that way for many years. Now, I get to help others climb the mountain – I get to be living proof that even though it was once really bad for me, it got to be really sweet. Receiving the “Elevate Mental Health” scholarship would be personally affirming to me because of the mental health journey I’ve traveled, and it would help clear the path for me to earn my degrees, open my holistic counseling practice, and make that practice function as a community wellness center in the evenings that could offer people in rural and underserved areas a variety of free to low-cost workshops, classes (including plant-based, whole food cooking classes), and support groups. I will continue to help people rediscover the joy in living and not just existing, and I would be grateful for your help along the way. Thank you for your time and interest in me as an applicant!

There was a time in my life when I was looking for acceptance in all the wrong places: in relationships, work, and my performance. I felt the hustle of trying to meet the constant expectations of everyone around me (including my own unrealistic ones), and in the process, I lost myself. I lost myself to things I said I’d never do or become, and I found myself seemingly trapped in an abusive relationship. It felt like I had nothing. It wasn’t until God was in the midst of delivering me from all of my chains that I realized how much I was already accepted, and that my Father’s regard for me was actually the highest regard of anyone. Knowing Him – and not just about Him – changed my life, and through a series of miracles, I was set free and never turned back to my old, broken ways. I believe that we can be happier, healthier, and holier in this life if we allow God to work His way into our hearts to change us. I know the dark places Jesus can rescue us from, and I want to be a facilitator of His love for those in the dark. This is one reason that I believe God called me to pursue Christian education at Liberty University to become a counselor. I want others to see that there is hope, that we don’t have to stay broken, and that we really can live out our lives from a place of absolute abundance. My passion for others wouldn’t let me sit still and wait until my degrees were completed to help people, so I worked hard to earn certifications as a life coach, BHP, and MHRT/C. In 2020, mid-pandemic, I opened a life coaching business. In addition to seeing clients, I volunteer some of my time by offering free, life-recovery groups in the community. God kept blessing it all, and He gave me a mentor, a physician, who would end up investing so much time into me by teaching me and overseeing my work. (See: http://dayspringintegrativewellness.com/about/) I know that God will assist me as a counselor because He has taught me that the true place of healing is found in Him and that He never fails. As I work with clients, I know that it will be His wisdom that He gives when I help someone unravel the big ball of yarn in their mind. I know that it will be Him that heals them by His love through me. I know that it will be Him that brings the right clients that will stretch and grow me. Finally, I know that my value is found in Him, so even if there might be times I make mistakes, I know that I don’t live for anyone or anything else but for Him and His approval. When God helps me earn my degrees, I plan on entering private practice by opening a holistic, Christian-influenced, wellness center that offers mental health counseling, adjunct services (such as sauna, light, and massage therapies), and hosts free-to-low-cost support groups, workshops, and skill-building classes (like fitness and cooking) that offer people in rural and underserved areas tools they need to heal. I want everyone to have access to the whole-health services that they deserve. The Arthur and Elana Panos Scholarship would help me bring health, healing, and Jesus to others. As a first-generation college student who is wearing many hats to afford her education, receiving this scholarship would be meaningful and help me realize my ambitions. Thank you for reading and considering my essay application!

I couldn’t focus on the cool, silky bedsheets that offered a comforting touch from the summer heat. I couldn’t focus on the way that my moonlit room still faintly smelled like Mom’s homemade, chocolate chip, cookies. What held my mind captive was the sheer terror that panged through me as I suddenly awoke, heart racing, believing that my death was imminent. There was no one in that room to tell me that what I was experiencing was the first of many panic attacks that would ensue over the years and, eventually, earn itself a diagnosis. I would experience derealization, and I often felt drained after these episodes – it was like everything suddenly became harder the next day. My peers didn’t seem to understand that I was dealing with an invisible illness, and as a result, my heart felt wounded as it wondered if it were a futile thing to desire being fully loved and fully known. When I eventually told my mom what was happening, she cried. She told me that she just wanted me to be happy. I imagine she felt powerless to help her teen since she didn’t have any tools to give. She did, however, have a whole lot of love that would convince me of the fruitfulness of being loved and known. Well, it was either that or the extra cookies she’d bake for me. As I acquired tools and coping skills over the next decade, a hunger rumbled loudly through me that I wanted to help others heal from their challenges. After considering a couple of different career pathways, I felt called to pursue clinical mental health counseling. However, I couldn’t sit still knowing that it was going to take several years to earn both degrees that would enable me to establish my private practice, so in 2020, mid-Covid, I started my own lifestyle coaching business to help those struggling with sadness, stress, thought life, grief, shame, and so on. I believe that our spiritual and physical health is connected to our emotional health, so I also started coaching on Christian living (when requested), nutrition, weight loss, and goal setting for disease improvement or reversal. I’m grateful to be closely mentored by a physician (D.O.) who invests in me and celebrates the victories that our clients experience. Outside of my business, I have volunteered to organize and market anxiety and depression relief seminars in my local community. I have been honored to watch the “lightbulb moment” come on for people during these well-attended talks. I imagine it would have been helpful for my teen self to attend and realize that she wasn't uniquely defective. One of my favorite ways I volunteer is to lead a small group called “13 Weeks to Peace.” We would meet once a week for three months and discuss topics from a workbook. The first time I acted as the facilitator, I had 12 members – a number a bit high for a “small” group and, honestly, a little out of my comfort zone. However, it was the most memorable group I’ve led because of the quality discussion, support, shared vulnerability, and the significant amount of healing that took place. Receiving the “Mental Health Matters” scholarship would be personally affirming to me because of the mental health journey I’ve traveled, and it would help clear the path for me to earn my degrees, open my holistic practice, and make that practice function as a community wellness center in the evenings that could offer a variety of free to low-cost workshops, classes (including plant-based, whole food cooking classes), and support groups.