Over the past year, I have observed my fair share of good and bad. What I would say has impacted my desire to go to college the most is seeing people of color, especially black women, do all these wonderful things for the community and not just for themselves. For instance, all the astounding women in my family, Superintendent Washington, Principal Reddick, Mrs. King, Michelle Obama, and Simone Biles, are just a few examples. I've always dreamt of going to college but never had a main reason as to why I wanted to go to college. Now, I know the answer to the question I couldn’t quite figure out. I, Ivory Nichole Carney, will be going to college to become a Black woman who impacts another child’s life just as the phenomenal Black women who have impacted mine. While at college, I am majoring in psychology to become a child therapist. Though my career choice is not the same as the women who have impacted my life, I feel that they share some similarities. I will have an impact on others by giving them an outlet to learn to deal with their emotions and other problems in a healthy way. I want to be able to teach them to utilize the skills that I was taught. My mother taught me to be myself and keep my head up no matter what obstacles I had to face. My grandmother taught me that I should always see myself as perfect no matter what others say or how I feel about myself. She also said that my voice and opinion are meant to be heard. My aunts and cousins taught me to love myself even when I was at my lowest. Superintendent Washington and Principal Reddick taught me what it means to be a strong black female boss. Although she may not know, Mrs. King has taught me so much since attending Allen Village School. Mrs. King shows me each day what a caring teacher looks like. I hope to be like her when I become a child therapist. I hope to be like all these strong black women in the future. I am committed to doing as much as it takes to be a strong black woman, that impacts others. I strongly believe that I should be selected for this scholarship because earning this scholarship will allow me to be a strong black female role model for my sister. She will never forget seeing her big sister selected for a scholarship. She will grow up writing essays and talking about how I was one of the strong black women who impacted her. I want to use this scholarship to start influencing children. I should be selected for this scholarship because I am hard-working. I work hard to keep A’s and Bs in school. I am not saying that I am just a student who is always on top of everything because I am not. I make tons of mistakes, and I struggle to keep my grades up in school; it is a part of life. I should be selected for the Bright Lights scholarship because I will be the first person in my family to receive a scholarship, and I want to make them proud. I am so happy that I was even allowed to participate in the scholarship and prepare for more to come. I firmly believe that I should be selected to have the opportunity to impact and make a difference in my community.

Over the years, I have dealt with much pain. I went through depression for a long period of time. I did not know that it was depression. I was sad and really angry. Angry at the world for causing me so much pain. Angry at myself for being in so much pain. I just wish I would have talked to someone about the pain I was in, and I deeply regret not talking to someone. When someone would ask if I was okay, I would smile and say, "I'm great." I was never great; I wanted to be great, but I was not. I became a master at masking my emotions; I sometimes fooled myself. I fooled myself into thinking I was not depressed and blamed myself for the types of emotions that I felt. Making jokes became my best friend. I began making jokes as I sunk deeper into depression. I feel that if I had just talked to someone, I would not have been depressed for as long as I was. After thinking about how my depression affected others, I started to re-evaluate things in my life and deal with the pain I was going through. I was successful at pulling myself out of the hole that I had sunk into over the years. I did it. I pulled myself out! For this reason, I am going to help children and teens struggling with mental health issues. I plan to contribute to my community and the broader Kansas City region by helping kids and teens who do not have access to a therapist. Growing up, I wanted to build homeless shelters around Kansas City. However, after doing some thinking, I realized that I could use my degree and start a nonprofit organization to help students who need someone to talk to and some guidance. I am not going to give up the idea of building homeless shelters just after the nonprofit. MHAnation.org states that over 60% of youth with major depression do not receive any mental health treatment. I want to provide at least half of that 60% the access to mental health services they need. Some might think that starting a nonprofit organization is just a dream that will never happen, but I know it is not just a dream to me; it is my calling. I know my job is to help children that struggle with depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, and other mental health issues. I am giving myself this job to equip children with the tools they need to live mentally healthy and happy lives. To also prevent others from going through what I have struggled with in the past.

Do You Try to Hear Us? Our blackness is your weakness We try to show you what you’re doing is wrong but you don’t hear us We ask and we pled but you don’t hear us You Killed many but you still don’t hear us You don’t hear our cries, our screams, our hurt, and our pain Do you try to hear us A family cried because someone had died And what for was it because they were harmful or was it because they were black He didn’t have a gun and you still keep shooting Went out for a jog and he ended up dead Switching lanes with no signal and you just took her life just like that Not resisting and you still keep your knee on his neck And now I can’t breathe Not because your knee is on my neck But because I’m tired of holding my breath waiting for change I’m tired of seeing my people die I’m tired of not being heard And All we want is for you to hear us But Do try to hear us How many more of us have too march, protest, and even die for you to hear us How many more black children have to feel afraid and scared of playing outside How many more black children have to see more and more of their people die before you hear us But do you try to hear us Why do my 2 brothers have to feel unsafe around you Why do they have to feel like they are going to get killed by you Why do they have to feel like this Why? Why do they feel like you don’t hear them Hear their voices say they feel unsafe and they are afraid But do you try to hear them I wish this would stop I wish you would see what you are doing I wish this discrimination towards black and brown people would stop I wish this brutality from you would stop I wish Someone could be the voice that gets you to hear us But do you try to hear us Hear us Hear our asking and pleading Hear our cries, our screams, our hurt, and our pain How many more of us has to die before you hear us Do you try to hear us