Throughout most of my life, I've struggled with my mental health in one way or another. if it was anxiety or pretty severe depression ive always felt like ive had to work harder than the people i know just to wake up and be happy. If I had to say what my personal experience of loss was, I would say losing myself and the people I love to battling mental health. It made me realize the happiest, most outgoing people you know could be struggling the most with their mental health. And it's made me want to help make a change in the world to help those who have struggled as severely as I have and still do occasionally. Many don't want to reach out for help because they think their problems aren't big enough or people just don't care, but that just is part of the mindset someone may have when struggling with their mental health. I've wanted to help our society and community in one way or another. If that was animals or people, I always felt like our society has slowly gotten worse and we have lost the importance of human connection along the way. People should feel like their emotions matter and there is someone they can talk to that can help them, or feel like they have someone to depend on to voice their feelings, so they don't keep them bottled up, and then it becomes too late to fix. I feel like I can make a difference in suicide prevention because I have gone through what it feels like to think your life no longer matters, and it would be easier if you just weren't here. I feel like many therapists and psychologists haven't gone through the experience themselves; they might have just known someone who has. And I can say that knowing someone who has gone through something and going through it yourself are two very different things, and can give you different points of view. To be able to help someone struggling with mental health, you need to be able to fill in the gaps of what they tell you and figure out what they really mean, and this can only be done if you've gone through it. Yes, of course, going to school to study psychology and human interaction can help you, but nothing can replace connecting with people's struggles through your own.

Education is essential to me because it ensures my future. I want to be in control of the path my life takes after school, and I want to get an education in something I love and turn it into a career. My whole life, everyone around me has constantly asked me, "What do I want to be when I'm older?" This can seem like a daunting question to answer. As a kid, everyone says they want to be a ballerina or, an astronaut, or a doctor. But as you get older, the question starts to feel more serious. This question has felt hard to answer sometimes in my life, and I didn't even think of the possibility of going to college a few years ago. But my whole life, I've been very connected to nature and the animals that live within it, and I knew I wanted to do something with that but did not learn until a little more recently that I could actually turn that into a career. I want to go to college for animal conservation and help protect wildlife or at least what we have left of it. Every day more animals are becoming endangered from hunting and just from us as humans taking over their habitats with buildings etc. We are forgetting we need them to thrive and instead are pushing them out, and if we don't fix this soon, all wildlife will be ruined, and everyone will realize it's a problem way too late to fix it. The legacy I hope to leave is that you can put your mind to anything you want and make it happen. I have goals now a few years ago i would think would be impossible for me to complete. But i want to learn my mark on our society and not just sit around and hope others will make a change. I want to be the change and show others they can help also before its too late. And without education none of this would be possible. Education can also seem daunting if no one around you has graudated college and also if money seems like a problem but if you want somthing enough and work hard enough you can make anything possible. You just have to trust yourself that all this hard work will pay off and you can show others that hard things can be accomplished.

Ive struggled with mental health for as long as I can remember. If it was anxiety, depressed or ADHD ive had to learn how to cope and move past it and not let it impact my life. It has significantly affected my relationships by feeling like I could never fully trust someone else or that they would judge me if I opened up to them about my problems and then use it against me later. Ive self sabotaged relationships by not letting myself be fully open to the idea that someone else could possibly care about me as much as I care about them. It has also impacted my career aspirations significantly. My whole life I felt extremely connected to nature and animals. Its always been a safe space when I felt disconnected from people. Ive always felt like animals will give unconditional love whereas relationships with people tend to come with conditions. Struggling with anxiety and depression make keeping and making relationships with people more difficult than if I didn't struggle with these things. I second guess every decision I make and overthink decisions I make after I make them thinking of ways I could have done things differently and how that would have given me a better or different outcome. It has also made my beliefs change throughout the years. I have noticed sometimes I tend to have more pessimistic views on life about how nothing really matters and we all just die at the end. This could be a positive view in a way of do what makes you happy nothing is that big of a deal at the end of the day. But this could also be a negative view by it taking away joy from the little things in life if you believe nothing really matters. Ive found myself going back and forth with the positive and negative view of this mindset depending on what stressors and struggles I'm going through during that point in my life. But struggling with mental health has made be notice more when others are struggling with their mental health and being able to help them. At the end of the day everyone struggles with some part of their mental health at least once in their life it just differs from how severe it is and how much it impacts you're short and long terms decisions and goals in your life. Ive had to learn to separate myself from my mental health problems and remember my mental health issues don't define me and don't deserve to decide my life for me.

The movie that has made the greatest impact on my life would be The Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. The movie focuses on two characters who fall in love but then their relationship falls apart and the girl gets this treatment done where he is erased from her memory. He then gets the same procedure done because it is too painful for him to remember her but she dosen't remember him. The movie is about him going through this procedure and all their past memories are flashing through his mind before they are erased. The reason why this movie is so impactful to me is because it reminds me how painful it can be to lose someone in your life or for them to no longer want to be a part of your life and you have to accept that. Throughout my life I've had to accept losing friends I thought I would have my whole life and how life moves on even if they aren't a part of it. It's made me realize life is unpredictable and anyone could come and go as they please even when you are least expecting it. You have to be able to be ok with just being alone and being comfortable enough in yourself so if people in your life leave you learn to be ok with it and keep moving. Another reason this movie had such a great impact on me was because there has been times where I wish I could just erase someone from my memory completely even the good memories because it can be too painful to remember good memories of someone that is no longer in your life. Sometimes when someone is no longer in your life you try to just remember the bad so maybe you would no longer miss them if you forget all the good memories they brought you but in reality you can't erase someone from your memory by trying to make them the villain. This movie reminds me that relationships and friendships can be very difficult and sometimes you can be so in them you lose yourself and your individuality during it and then after it ends you feel lost and feel like you lost a part of yourself within that other person. Sometimes in life you just have to look at failed relationships and friendships as learning experiences and be glad you made all the good memories you did with that person and be ok that chapter of your life has closed and you have to move forward in life.

My parents consideration of divorce has impacted my childhood in the way I view romantic relationships and the idea of marriage. Its showed me people can change from the time you meet them/get married to years down the line and they might not be the person they were in the beginning or might just not be the person you thought they were. It also made me realize that the view we have on our parents and their relationship when I was younger was skewed. When you are young you like to believe both of your parents are perfect with no problems and truly love each other but that unfortunately isn't always the case. Parents try to hide any problems they may be having from their children as long as they can. If its financial problems, infidelity or just any other problems that adults can run into being married and having a family. The divorce rate in the United States has gotten higher and higher as the years go by it seems like its became harder and harder to find true love and stay happy with the same person for your whole life without any complications. Sometimes I start to blame myself for my parents not being as in love as they once were. Thinking if they never had a child would they have as many problems as they have now? Or were these problems bound to happen regardless of me? I think in some families parents tend to try to fix marriage problems more if there are children involved. Many parents don't want their children growing up in a broken household switching houses weekly so they try to make the marriage work harder than couples without any additional attachments like kids. But this can lead couples to possibly staying in a marriage they shouldn't and that isn't truly meant to last. Sometimes people just change and grow apart during a marriage. Were once it felt so right to marry this person and grow old with them until one day you both realize it no longer is right. Being surrounded by friends who have divorced parents and my own parents discussing divorce over the years its made me more cautious of getting into a relationship of my own. Its made me second guess peoples motives in things and am more cautious if they are in this for the right or wrong reasons. Its also taught me is some people create fake perceptions about themselves and then you later have to find out the truth about who they really are behind closed doors when you already are in a relationship with them. The idea of dating someone out of college and marrying them having kids until you are both growing old together has become some version of a fairy tail to me now. I think the stories we all heard as kids about finding true love and having families is mostly inaccurate and unrealistic in todays society. Now you should just hope to meet someone with good goals and someone who truly wishes the best for you and helps you reach your own goals as well.

I struggled with autism ADHD and syncope. Throughout my life it was difficult for me to sustain friendships and realize my strengths because I thought when my mom said I was gifted it meant I had a disability. After seeing many therapist’s and talking with our priest after trying to end my life I finally realized gifted meant god gave me unique qualities as he does to every individual. Upon this revelation I was able to recognize the importance of quality friendships verses quantity and my life had purpose and meaning. As I started to believe in myself I saw people treated me differently. I wasn’t bullied as much and felt ore comfortable blending into groups instead of feeling like I didn’t matter. Learning to coexist with my peers who don’t understand the sensitivity I have to loud noises forced me to do things so I could cope with daily stressful events in my life such as spend time in nature and enjoy the animals around me. As I’ve learned more about syncope it’s allowed me to be more mindful in my choices so I make decisions to avoid situations where I might have an episode. I believe going through some of my experiences it’s imprints to share my story because at one point I wanted to give up but I now see a future for myself. One year ago I never imagined going to college. One year ago I had a 2.7 and today I have a 3.8. As I’ve learned to center myself on something that brings me joy but also helps others I feel more grounded and feel my life has a purpose. I would like to let other students know we all have unique qualities and gifts to share with others if we take a moment out of our day and just sit and listen to each other. My future goal is to get a degree in Wildlife Conservation so I can protect animals because when I needed help they saved my life. And although I love fashion and criminal justice my heart tells me, we live our life forward and understand it backwards. To me this means I was surrounded by animals to soften my heart to live freely when my heart was shut off to a world that seems cruel and misinformed. Thank you for considering me for this amazing opportunity to receive this scholarship. And if I’m fortunate enough one day I would also like to open a shelter for animals.

As a graduating senior of Hudson High School, I never imagined I would be capable of attending college until this last year. I have faced numerous challenges throughout my life related to my health and emotional well-being. I was two years old when I experienced my first of many syncope episodes. I wish this were the only obstacle I would encounter in my ability to trust myself and my ability to believe I could conquer life's challenges. However, when I began cutting and tried to end my life, my mom learned I also struggled with AuDHD, which is autism and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, which then led to severe anxiety and depression. I remember being active in a lot of school activities, playing sports, and enjoying orchestra until my struggle with syncope and AuDHD began to interfere with developing and maintaining relationships. I felt as if there was a constant tug of war inside me to help others understand me. At times, I was bullied for being different, which made me second-guess my abilities as well as my future. As I grew into my body and learned more about my strengths, I was able to focus more on the things that made me happy and less on what other people thought about me. As I learned to love the uniqueness within myself, I was drawn to things that brought me peace and lessened my anxiety. I learned that the quality of friends is more important than the quantity, and everyone struggles with something. Going into my senior year, I finally realized that being gifted meant I was smart, not handicapped. And because I put a label on myself all these years, I was, in fact, handicapping myself from succeeding. By the end of the third quarter of my senior year, my GPA had improved from a 2.5 to a 3.8. I achieved something a year ago that I never thought possible. As I determined my college major, I reflected on my journey and what has been the most healing. I have always been drawn to nature and animals. I would love to preserve these amazing gifts for others to use when they, too, might be struggling. Although I love fashion and criminal justice, I am also passionate about pursuing a career in Wildlife Conservation to ensure that animals are cared for humanely. Someday, I would like to open a shelter as well, if the opportunity arises. In closing, I've already been accepted to Ohio University as my first choice of higher education. Thank you for considering me for this scholarship. I am applying on a needs basis because my mom has Scleroderma and heart failure. Isabella Weinhardt 216-577-0048

Jack Terry's journey inspired me because he was determined to achieve his goals without support. Jack Terry's story helped me reflect upon my life and realize I'm lucky to have my mom support me even when my father hasn't been present in my life. I'm fortunate to have a shoulder to lean on, someone to ask for advice, and parents who love me to the best of their ability. Because I struggle with ADHD and autism, life often felt unmanageable as a kid until I better understood what these diagnoses meant. I remember my mom always telling me I was "gifted." However, what I didn't realize until I saw a future for myself as a junior in high school is that "being gifted" meant I was smart and not handicapped. Because depression runs deep in my family, I witnessed my mom, her sister, and my grandfather openly talk about and attempt suicide. At one point in my life, I never understood this way of thinking until life felt unmanageable during COVID. During COVID, our family lost everything. My dad had a bad reaction to the vaccine and ended up in a wheelchair, and my mom developed heart failure. This was a difficult time because I'm an only child, and I had to learn to be independent. Although it has been difficult at times to communicate my feelings, this experience has been a blessing. During this time, I learned how fragile life can be. I learned to categorize different levels of stress and prioritize a daily to-do list. I learned to reach out to others when I was stuck, and that it was ok to do so. I also realized that time is a precious commodity we often take for granted, and being creative is healing. I learned from overcoming these obstacles that God uses tragic events to bring us closer to him. I also learned that there are many things surrounding us that can help us heal and cope, which I never noticed before I developed my love for animals. I realized that my love for nature, water, and animals throughout my life has grounded me during times when life felt unmanageable. Unfortunately, I have the scars from cutting that will forever remind me of the pain I endured during COVID. I will forever remember the sadness on my mom's face, the day my mom picked me up from therapy, and we visited a local shelter, where I got my first cat, Luna. Luna played a key role in my ability to see a future for myself. My love for animals and the cruel nature of how society destroys them is why I've chosen a degree in Wildlife Conservation. Through visiting petting zoos and animal shelters, I learned the therapeutic effects animals have on people. I believe we need more oversight on how animals are fed, taken care of, sold, and killed at all levels in the world. There should also be more regulations on steroids or other medications given to animals because of the direct impact consumption of the meat has on our bodies. If I were to receive this scholarship, I would like to help reinforce laws that work towards ensuring animals receive the least number of drugs and are cared for and put down in a humane manner. I will also continue to share my story regarding how my love for animals saved my life and inspire others to enjoy the blessings God puts in front of us daily.