Early in 2022, I found myself in a tough spot regarding my education and what I should be doing with my life. I am a first-generation college student, and while I pride myself in my academic abilities, there have been many small moments in higher education where I felt inadequate. Thankfully, I have always had a strong support system that encouraged me to "throw away" some of these moments of inadequacy. In 2022, I began my second semester of graduate school. I was full of self-doubt, confusion, and a general feeling of questioning why I was doing what I was doing. No specific conversation, moment, or experience triggered these feelings, but I felt this way regardless. I decided to switch from being a Ph.D. student to a master's student to hopefully resolve these feelings. This was not an easy decision, but I believed that if I "mastered out," I could enter the workforce, and maybe my passions would be found within my work. When I made this decision, I confided in a faculty member I believed would assist and potentially reassure me that being a Ph.D. student was where I belonged. Instead, this faculty member took 20 minutes to tell me everything I had already told myself. That I was not good enough to be in a Ph.D. program, that I was not motivated enough, and questioned whether my application to the program was even factual. To say I was devastated is an understatement. I left the meeting and allowed myself a moment to cry. While I was not close with this faculty member, I respected their opinion as they have significantly contributed to my field of research. I continued moving forward with my decision to switch to the master's program, despite a part of me not wanting to. I told myself I would be told if this decision was meant to be, and I continued onward. In the spring of 2022, I finally acquired my first internship, quit my retail job, and began feeling a lot better about my decision. Throughout my summer internship, I learned a variety of skills from my manager, met a lot of individuals with different lifestyles, and realized the different ways I can choose to live my life. While I was still proud of myself for moving forward in higher education, that small part of me was still wondering about "what if" for the Ph.D. Upon concluding my internship over the summer, I received an email from another faculty member inquiring if I was still set on being a master's student as a new opportunity had opened up for employment on campus. This opportunity would enable me to continue my degree with total tuition funding and allow me to work with first-generation undergraduate students, but I had to switch back to the Ph.D. track. Not only would I have to switch, but I was only given a week to decide. I had to reflect on everything I had learned in the past months, everything I knew I still wanted. Ultimately, I switched to the Ph.D. program and am beginning my master's thesis. This was an incredibly challenging yet rewarding journey. I had to put aside other people's opinions of me, consider what was important to me, and not deny myself things I truly wanted. In this world, it is easy to conform to what other's believe you should be doing, but that won't bring you happiness. Sometimes, you have to silence the other voices to hear your own. Finally, if something is truly meant to be, it will be.

In this life, we enter the world with no clothes, no history, just our names. By the time we leave this Earth, what remains is our legacy and, most importantly, our name. My name is Isabel Mae Mendoza. Why are our names so important? Well, they encapsulate our existence. Sometimes, they tell our history. Sometimes, they tell our future. Sometimes, they bring us together. Sometimes, they drag us apart. Our names tell a story. My name is Isabel Mae Mendoza. What does my name tell you? My last name may disclose that I come from a Latinx background, and my first name may say the same. If you knew it, you may know the middle name comes from my great great grandmother, a woman my mother hoped I would emulate. My name is Isabel Mae Mendoza. This is my name at the surface level. Once you have spent time with me, you may know that my name represents my history in education. At my undergraduate university, I was known by my peers as “Bel” Mendoza. Bel represented someone who was heavily involved on their campus, from athletics to clubs to academics. Someone who graduated in three years with two majors and one minor. Bel was a first-generation student, having to navigate higher education independently and make life-changing decisions with little guidance. While simply a three-letter name, Bel represents a large portion of my life in higher education. I am still this Bel. My name is Isabel Mae Mendoza. Currently, the name Isabel Mendoza represents a Ph.D. student studying Industrial-Organizational Psychology. Who, upon completing her degrees, will be the first in her entire family to receive even a master’s degree. Isabel represents someone who is motivated to be an anti-racist person, continuing to have uncomfortable conversations and question her biases. Isabel represents the hard work of an immigrant parent to make the sacrifice to come to this country so their child could do what they couldn’t. Isabel represents the Mexican culture and presence, not only in academia but in the workforce as well. My name is Isabel Mae Mendoza. My name is Isabel Mae Mendoza. If I were to receive money to pay down my loans, it would allow me to dedicate more time to my education. I work three jobs to pay for school, my car, and other necessities. Therefore, with more assistance, I can increase my time working on my studies, specifically my master’s thesis. This time can be used for research, finding potential funding, and curating a meaningful and well-informed project on student leadership. Additionally, it will help in my journey to establish generational wealth as I continue to break down the barriers placed in front of me, a significant barrier being funding. Receiving more funding will also help me achieve my final degree, allowing me to reintroduce myself. My name is Isabel Mae Mendoza, but one day I will be Dr. Isabel Mae Mendoza.

Have you ever had a manager or supervisor fully committed to helping you achieve the goals at hand and develop as a person? Consequently, have you ever had a manager or supervisor that made going to work dreadful? Ultimately, if I am successful, I am assisting in the process of limiting the experiences with the latter manager or supervisor. Within our Western society, the norm is to work five days a week, for 40 hours a week. That means over half of our days in our seven-day week are spent at work. We, as people, should enjoy going to work and being managed by individuals who motivate us to be present and put in 100% effort. In Industrial-Organizational (I-O) Psychology, one of the purposes is understanding and developing leadership in others. Social science fields, like psychology, are often viewed as "soft sciences." Instead, they should be considered essential sciences, given the same regard as those in engineering, chemistry, and other "hard science" fields. While critical, tactical skills are necessary for "hard science" fields; the skills developed, taught, and studied in the social science fields can be utilized throughout all areas, regardless of title. The term social science implies the study of social components found within people. Therefore, almost everyone within the workforce will encounter interactions with other individuals in various positions of power and status. Given the context, I hope to positively impact this world through my career in the social science field of I-O Psychology by providing guidance, resources, and demonstrating how to be an effective leader. This goal seems straightforward, almost austere, but human beings are anything but as we know it. A significant component of the field is gaining information on other individuals, their experiences, and knowledge to further leverage yourself as someone they can turn to be led by. It takes great trust, buy-in, and open communication to be successful while working with others. Often, there may be resistance to a potential change in the organization or guidance from an outside source. Therefore, these established relationships make these significant transitions much easier for the employees. I will make mistakes; this is inevitable. I will say something incorrectly, unintentionally, and potentially ruin a relationship with another person. I am prepared for these moments to try to rebuild and reestablish a connection with one another to meet our anticipated goals. I will hold myself accountable instead of blaming others. I will do my best to ensure others are heard. Teaching leadership is never enough, but demonstrating leadership and standing behind the words you inform others does. I am not there yet, but I will learn and lean into my leadership style. Utilizing my knowledge of others as a way to "flex" and adapt my style to fit their needs in the hopes of creating and helping guide others to do the same within their organizations. This is not an easy task, but I hope to positively impact the world within my career in I-O Psychology by using my knowledge of leadership, my leadership style, and my relationships with others to make the workplace a better place.

One primary goal in my life is to strive to positively impact others by using my education, experiences, and general knowledge to improve the workplace setting. There is no end date for this goal, as I hope to achieve it in formal and informal workplace settings throughout my life. I want to emphasize that while I cannot change the world, simply making one person's life better is gratifying.

Never live beyond your means. These words have been instilled in me since I was a child. My parents made some financial mistakes in the past, both coming from poverty, and they fell into the trap of credit cards. It was not until recently that they have genuinely been able to breathe. Growing up, I was never aware of what they were dealing with. My parents never made it apparent, but now that I am older, I understand why they always told me to never live beyond my means. It is simple to overspend, especially when I was a young sixteen-year-old with their first job. As I grew, I realized how critical every financial decision has to be. Especially now, as an adult with the burden of my student loans and being a full-time student, it is essential to remember that I may not be able to spend my money the same way as my peers who are working. Despite this, I cannot allow myself to fall into the pattern of overspending, and ultimately harming my financial future. While the method in which I was taught this lesson was not ideal, I know that it will set me up for success throughout the rest of my life regarding my financial situation.

My desire to be better to our climate stems from my education at my undergraduate university. It was there that I met individuals doing small acts to make the world a better place and where I realized the areas in which I could improve. I realized I needed to limit my consumption of single-use plastic water bottles. I invested in fun, recloseable cups and water bottles that I could use as a way of expression. I bought items such as metal straws and portable silverware to limit the use of other single-use products. I began taking recycling more seriously, being conscious of what can and what cannot be recycled. I also started carrying bags around to place items I buy into to reduce the use of plastic bags. Reusable bags began going beyond grocery shopping but also when I am buying clothes or go thrifting. My efforts did not yield when I graduated, and I no longer had social pressure to be better. I find products through social media platforms, like TikTok, that show reusable containers or bags, items that will ultimately save my family and me money in the long run. I have also found apps, such as Good On You, demonstrating what fashion brands do to contribute to climate change. This knowledge has made me very picky when shopping at particular businesses, especially when they actively participate in destroying our planet. I am lucky to have the luxury to have some of these options, as fast fashion is sometimes the only one. Through my perseverance, I have gotten my family excited about the small products we find to help protect our planet and have been able to share everything I have learned. While small, I would like to believe I am making a positive impact on our climate.

The notion of a healthy lifestyle is incredibly complex. Health to me is moving, eating, and living in the best way for your body, spirit, and lifestyle. Living according to your standard of health is essential for your happiness and overall functioning. Social media tends to sell the idea that health is working out seven days a week, never looking at anything sweet, and that if you do x, then you will see y. I have found myself more than once getting caught up in this mindset, ultimately leading to failure. Living a healthy life has to be determined individually, and my life is unlike others' lives for various reasons. These reasons may include time, access to resources (i.e., a gym, food, etc.), or body composition. Now, should these reasons ever detour someone from living a healthy lifestyle? The answer is no. The truth is, being healthy does not have a singular definition. Being healthy can be walking instead of lifting, eating a pizza instead of a salad for dinner, or deciding to rest instead of working out. While these are simply examples, and many items can be exchanged for doing this instead of that, they are all considered healthy. This truth is vital because we automatically set ourselves up for failure by abiding by someone else's idea of being healthy. We may see ourselves tracking calories in a toxic manner, working out without rest, or just generally unhappy despite doing what "we are supposed to do." Therefore, the importance of living a healthy life is to enjoy the ability to live, eat, and breathe to our fullest capacity while embracing the utmost functions of our bodies. I maintain a healthy lifestyle by listening to my body and being conscious of my thoughts about my appearance. On days that I would like to eat more food, I do, being mindful of when I reach a good level of fullness where I can continue to move around. On days I do not feel like lifting, I choose to walk, do low-impact movements, or rest. On days I do not love how I look, I ask myself, "would you say this to someone else?" If the answer to that question is no, I do my best to speak to myself more kindly. Being healthy is meant to be fun. Unfortunately, when we compare ourselves to others, we lose sight of the importance of healthy living. The reality is that living a healthy life is so important because we get to enjoy how incredible the human body's functionality is, which is a pretty cool feeling. Additionally, it may bring someone happiness with how their body functions differently, whether in terms of strength, endurance, flexibility, or more. For myself, listening to my body and being kind to myself have been my keys to success in living my version of a healthy lifestyle. I cannot wait to see how I continue to involve throughout my healthy living journey. As they say, this journey is a marathon, not a sprint.

Many things in this world make me happy, and all of them share one thing in common, none of them can be bought with money. Every summer weekend, I take walks in the neighborhood and smell the fresh-cut grass. I think I enjoy the smell because when I was a kid, I would purposefully jump on the trampoline while my dad was mowing the lawn. Now, I equate the smell of fresh-cut grass with those small moments with my dad. There is always this contagious excitement in the fall as people begin school or sports; it makes my college campus come to life. I cannot even begin to explain the energy that seems to envelop people as they enter the fall season, but I have always loved the glow that people seem to have as they enter a potentially new part of their life. Every winter, a cul-da-sac always gets all the snow pushed into it, forming this mini mountain where all of the local kids gather and play on snow days. Driving to work made me happy to see them enjoying their youth as I once did. In the spring, we always have an abundance of wildlife join us in our yard. It has always made me happy to watch as new life enters the world in what feels like a reawakening after winter. While these all may be small moments, I cannot help but feel happy, even while writing about them.

Imagine you are in a room with all of your friends, you look around, and everyone is talking, and you smile because you know that that moment is exactly where you are meant to be. Everything around you makes sense. This feeling, I think, is encapsulated by the sentence, "Just enjoy where you are now." I believe this sentence should be shared because often, we get caught up in our daily routine of school, work, or just surviving in general. We take very few moments as a society to pause and reflect on the current moment we are in; instead, it seems as though we are in a continuous race to get to the next step. Then, when the next stage arrives, we do not appreciate it to its fullest extent. A book discussed this phenomenon where it described how you picture eating a piece of food; then, when you eat the food, you do not appreciate it because it tastes how it's expected to taste. On the other hand, if the food tastes terrible, you do not appreciate it because it does not satisfy your taste buds. Therefore, this moment of eating a piece of food becomes a lose-lose situation. Instead, if you take a moment to appreciate the piece of fruit, this lose-lose situation becomes a win. It should be emphasized how essential it is to pause and reflect on the current moment you are in. Even if you have goals of being elsewhere, enjoying where you are now never hurts.

I attempt to look at the world through a diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) lens within my personal and academic life. This approach appears in my posts on my Instagram, how I look at research in Industrial-Organizational (I-O) Psychology, and how I view "normal" occurrences within the world. The most common method I use to support equality and diversity is by correcting those within my inner circle when they state something insensitive or potentially offensive. While small, I believe this act makes a difference as they may feel more comfortable calling out their friends/family, creating a chain effect that will hopefully make a more considerable difference. Additionally, as I prepare to conduct personal research, I do my best to consider who is left out of the conversation and hopefully format my research to eliminate that gap. Finally, I attend panels at conferences or webinars that discuss DEI subjects that I am unfamiliar with. For instance, at the Society for Industrial-Organizational Psychology (SIOP) annual conference, I attended meetings that discussed disabilities in the workplace and ways that non-disabled individuals can elicit engagement by making meetings more accessible. While I do not have a disability, I believe it is essential to stay educated and aware of the struggles others face, especially when you have the privilege to make their lives easier. Overall, I do my best to support equality and diversity through holding friends/family accountable, viewing research through a DEI lens, and attending panels/webinars to stay educated on DEI subjects I am unfamiliar with. Even if I make mistakes, I will be sure to educate myself and take a moment of reflection to continue my role in supporting equality and diversity throughout my journey in life.

I came home from a long day of classes and began pacing in my kitchen. My dad, clearly worried, was trying to figure out why I was so stressed. Eventually, I told him that I did not know how I should be going about my life. I am a first-generation college student doing my best to navigate the world of higher education, a world that no one in my family has navigated before. Therefore I get stressed that I am doing something wrong. He looked at me and told me to stop worrying. Simply telling me not to worry was not sufficient to prevent me from continuing to ramble on about my endless worry about becoming a failure to the family. While I am aware that I have made outstanding accomplishments thus far in my life, there is always this fear that I will not make my family proud. Finally, my dad responds to me with, "Bel, trust the timing of your life. You will get to where you need to be when you need to be there." Those words alone made me take a pause, a deep breath, and I realized he was right. Worrying about things that are not in my control will not help me. I realized that there is not one singular way to live life. Even if I do not receive that one internship or take that one class, it does not mean I have failed at the life I have built. Instead, I am tackling life the way it is intended for me. Now, anytime I begin to worry about my path, I state the wise words spoken by my dad, and everything becomes alright.

When people hear the phrase "take up space," there seems to be this negative connotation associated with it, especially when in reference to women or female-identifying persons in general. This idea seems to stem from pushed gender norms that women should be passive, quiet, and conform to the pre-existing standards. To me, this idea is somewhat dubious. I believe that when women push against norms, it causes fear in those wishing to oppress them; there is a reason they do not want women to rise and take up space. Therefore, to take up space, in my opinion, represents more of a shift in the current power dynamic, which brings an abundance of fruitful outcomes. These outcomes include increased diversity of thought, thoughtful considerations about unknown issues, and representation. This shift is critical if we want to continue to grow as a society; women deserve to be in spaces they were not once permitted, especially as we see dramatic changes occurring towards women. A shift in the current dynamic does not have to be a bad thing; taking up space creates a balance before it leads to an imbalance. Regardless, there is a clear need for women in the medical and business fields, the government, and other predominately male settings, especially if women represent half of the population. In recent years, the need for women in these spaces has become more apparent due to the lack of personal knowledge of men on women. Thankfully, there appears to be an increase in the number of women fighting for their space to promote the idea that it is okay to defy the norms for the next generation. Taking up space arises in a few different forms in my personal life. One of my primary hobbies is lifting weights; while there has been an increase in the number of female-identifying persons within the gym, an imbalance persists. Therefore, I enter it instead of avoiding the free-weight section due to a more prominent male presence. I deserve a bench or dumbbells to lift just as much as the men in the area. Additionally, while working in retail, especially as a stocker, there are many times when I am the only woman in the space. Instead of fighting with my words, I worked harder, proving I was competent despite knowing it. Eventually, I became the go-to person to train anyone entering the department due to my extensive knowledge of the store. While it was frustrating to work harder than the men around me, I refused to let a man take the space I deserved. In the future, as I progress within the field of Industrial-Organizational Psychology, I hope to do the same. Not only for my sake but for the sake of the young Latina who is questioning whether she could or should do the same and take up the space. The answer is yes, she can, and she should.

A meaningful life lesson I learned was how critical it is to make a good impression on people and, even more, how crucial it is to connect with others. As I think across my life, if I had not been vulnerable and communicative with people throughout my journey, I would not have received some of my opportunities. For instance, I confided in a supervisor in my undergraduate career about my financial situation. She noticed I was not acting myself and inquired about my well-being; if I had not told her about my situation and allowed someone to help me, I may not even be enrolled in graduate school today. Additionally, while conducting contract assessment work for a company, I discussed my interest in human resources with my partner, who shared an internship opportunity that I will now be participating in in the summer. If I had not made a good impression on these individuals or shared what was occurring in my life/interests, my life may not be the way it is today. In the future, I hope to continue to put myself in situations where I have to meet new people and hopefully curate solid connections with them. The relationships I described were genuine, and I never had to force myself to be someone I was not to establish those interactions with others. I think this serves as a reminder that if you indeed are who you are, people will notice, people will want to help you, and people will want to see you succeed. While it is hard to put myself out there at times, I hope to think of these instances amongst others to encourage myself that I am capable as I have done in the past. Furthermore, this is a beautiful reminder to remain true to yourself as good opportunities and individuals are attracted to genuineness. This lesson has made me a stronger person in life because as I grow throughout my career, I have the confidence and assurance to know that if I am myself and genuine with my interactions, then good things will come. Additionally, this lesson provides me the confidence to interact with new people and not fear forming new connections with individuals. They may lead to something amazing, whether friendship or a new potential opportunity. Overall the life lesson I learned was how important it is to establish connections with people and the impact being genuine can make on potential future opportunities. These moments will serve as reminders to remain me and continue to push myself to keep meeting new people, as who knows what will come out of a simple conversation.

Self-care has become a critical part of my weekly life. Before COVID-19, I lived my life by packing as many events and meetings into a particular day possible, and this left me with very little time to reflect, relax, or even take an extra breath. While I felt I was happy living that way, I found that when the world slowed, I was intentionally restricting my life to avoid dealing with personal things in my life. Now, I try to journal more often to release my emotions healthily. Now, I work out every morning and genuinely enjoy the process instead of going through the motions. Now, I try to read at least ten pages of any book for fun every night to unwind rather than being on social media. Now, I allow myself to sit and do nothing without feeling guilty. These small self-care practices have allowed me to lead a healthier and more free life. While the pandemic produced a lot of harm in many lives, I think it also provided more clarity about what is truly important in our lives. Finding clarity was the main takeaway from the pandemic, and I hope to use this clarity to continue these self-care practices as life returns to normal. Additionally, I hope to use my newly found outlook on life to find a career that allows me to live a life worth living.

Before the pandemic, it was easy to ignore some simple things in life that deserve more appreciation. Unfortunately, it took this life-altering event to open my eyes to what I needed to appreciate. Since the pandemic, I have an ongoing note folder on my phone where I journal about the little things that happen in my day that deserve more time and reflection. For instance, the person who takes the extra moment to hold open the door for me or the person who compliments how I look that day. Even more significant than this, I try to emphasize verbally acknowledging the little things that those close to me do to make my life easier. For example, saying thank you to my mom for doing my laundry; although we both know she did not have to do it, she chose to do it to make my life easier that week. Taking these extra moments has genuinely impacted my life by making me happier and ensuring that those around me understand that I appreciate what they do for me. As I enter the workforce full-time, I hope to continue implementing these practices to express gratitude for more of the little things in life.

When I hear the words, speaking your mind, I think of individuals that are open and honest about how they feel, what they need, and what they want. This ability to maintain and promote communication is not easy, and a skill that takes time to perfect. Personally, I continue to speak my mind within my personal and professional life by setting healthy boundaries. This involves being honest with both myself and others about the tasks and actions that I am capable of performing. Furthermore, taking the time to then skillfully state those boundaries with others in ways that are both kind and firm. It is critical to limit any negativity in tone or language utilized. Additionally, it is critical to then reinforce and, at times, restate those boundaries to ensure the needs of all parties involved are met. This is the main method in which I continue to speak my mind as I navigate through life. Additionally, I believe there is no limit to the amount of growth one can attain. Therefore, despite this continued practice, I also read a lot of articles, books, and various texts that provide me with skills to further improve on the tone and language I take with others. This is yet another critical aspect to allow for someone to speak their mind and do so in a way that is respected by others.

As I grew up, I looked around all of my classrooms and began to notice very few individuals looked like me. Eventually, I went on to college to receive my Bachelor's Degree. This issue of seeing a limited number of individuals that shared my background persisted. I am a mixed woman, with half of my family being white and half of my family being Hispanic. It is challenging not to be disregarded for having a shared identity. Thankfully, pursuing higher education allows me to find, although limited, a few people who understand the struggle of never fitting into a singular box. The struggle of making sure that your parents' sacrifice to come to this country is worth it—the struggle of navigating higher education when your parents never had the opportunity to do so. Currently, I am enrolled in a P.h.D program studying Industrial-Organizational Psychology. Upon completing my degrees, I will be the first in my entire family to receive such a degree. This is one of the motivating factors behind my continuance in the track of higher education. Beyond personal accomplishment, I hope to use my education to help lift others who share my background within the workplace. I will achieve this by playing an essential role in human resources and hopefully bridging the gap between employee and organization to ensure the best outcome for both entities. Furthermore, I hope to use my education to assist in establishing generational wealth in my family. Establishing generational wealth is one of my biggest personal goals that I will attain in the future. At this particular moment, community involvement is difficult with the pandemic occurring. Shortly, I hope to have time to give back to communities that need more resources. In the past year, I had collected winter clothes for children from various family friends when the temperatures dropped below zero. I hope to do other acts like this but with other necessities instead, such as food and water. Overall, my greatest accomplishments thus far in my life have all been related to academia. For instance, I was the first in my family to go to college, and I graduated in three years. Additionally, because of higher education, I have had the opportunity to meet professors and peers that have helped shape the person I am today. The creation of who I currently am began with many uncomfortable conversations, questioning of biases, and reading of eye-opening materials. Thus, my other major accomplishment is becoming a more welcoming person of other identities and more informed on communities I never thought that I would be. As I continue to learn and grow throughout life, this will serve as a major accomplishment to me. If I receive the money to pay down my loans, I can give more time to my Masters' thesis, which I hope to write about work-family conflict in immigrant households. This time can be used for research, finding potential funding, and curating a meaningful and well-informed project. Additionally, it will help in my journey to establish generational wealth as I continue to break down the barriers that have been placed in front of me, a major barrier being funding. In summary, I am a first-generation Latinx student pursuing my P.h.D. to change both the lives of others and my own family. Receiving the monetary award of this essay will permit me to do just that through the ability to focus more time on my education.