Heading into the new year of 2020 I wanted to take a fresh start on how I approached things throughout the year, and years to come. It took a devastating turn for the worst three months in. I compete in throwing for track and field, and I didn't get much of a season. I was heartbroken and so were my teammates, coaches, and friends. I've invested time and passion in track and field. So for it to stop so suddenly, put my plans to a discouraging halt. Not only my plans but future potential. Out in my little hometown of Homedale Idaho, we didn't get much of a winter. That being said we didn't amount to enough snow to receive some snow days. In the beginning, I took this “Stay At Home Order” for the lack of winter. As weeks passed I began to lose my sense of humanity. I became somewhat depressed with the lack of socialization. And for being an introvert, that's saying a lot! Some of my friends got covid and there was nothing I could do to help them. I felt useless. I felt lazy. I also felt mentally sick. With all this time thrown on me, I decided to take it as an opportunity and to learn new skills, to take my mind off some things. I made my first coil basket, started to learn Japanese, learned to cook new recipes, watched some ted-talks, started writing a book, encouraged myself to read more books, and most importantly exercised! The pandemic was both a time of sorrow and excitement. It gave me time to reflect, create, and grow as a person mentally and physically. It gave me great insight to be grateful and blessed for the little things that we take for granted; food, house, water, family, pets, and friends. The year was both a struggle and a learning experience. For myself and the whole world. I'm taking 2021 head-on. I want to achieve the goals I never got to and the ones later to come down the road. I've had the most strength, confidence, drive, and desire, now than ever before. And with being in the second semester of my high school career I've been doing research on what I want to study. I am interested in becoming a parapsychologist. This means I study and do research on the paranormal or rather the unexplained. I've always had a fascination and held many questions towards this category in particular. I bought many books to dive deeper into my interest in this subject. I only hope to continue to grow and find some answers to this world, and the people that shape it.

I know I want to study in college because Its the starting point for the path I plan on pursuing. I want to aim for at least a masters and later on get my doctorate. I want to major in a very specific program that most colleges or university unfortunately don't provide. I want to obtain a degree in cross-cultural Psychology. I do hope on getting a scholarship through the sport of discus. I can't possibly pay for my schooling out of pocket. That would be way too expensive! Getting a further education I believe will help further my communication skills with people and other students like myself. I want to expand my knowledge and understanding of the world and its many diversity's. Its just so fascinating!

I have been incarcerated in many mental instances. Thankfully never physically. Anxiety, age, gender communication, human contact, text messages, calls, overthinking, doubt, regrets, and the biggest of them all time. These listed factors I have conflicts with, and its what chains me in this mential state of a prison. These conflicts are what weigh me down, maybe even hold me back from my wants and needs. While confronted unexpectedly almost simultaneously, lights a fire in my soul to fight. yes, that's right. The weaknesses that bound me by chains in a dark room with no light...Somehow I survived. And somehow, use those weaknesses to my advantage. I made a fire and that little fire grew. At times I lost control of that flame, and it became a burden rather than a support. But I studied it, learned from the catastrophic failures know as me deepest and darkest thoughts, that can effect my way of living at any given point in time. But, instead I turned that around and used it as power. Something to fuel desires. My end goal is quit simple you see. I want to live. I want to experience things. See things. understand. Find answers. The only way accomplish is possible for those simple statements with a heavy aftertaste is to clime my way up the latter of society. Maybe make a name for myself who knows. Create something. The experiences that lead me to this point have helped me to gain the understanding that I need to accomplish point A if I want to succeed and show up at point B. I'm willing to put it all on the line because there's nothing really holding me back. because you see at the end of the day I should put my fear, trust, sins, and worries down to rest. watch them fade as I dream of a new day. Tomorrow is a fresh start. Pursuing the career path of become a Cross-Cultural psychologist, I belive will help me see my goal to the very end. I find promice and much interest in this particular field of studies. Lets just hope I make to see that day a reality. My future self will thank me later.

Maria was her name. She was a senior meanwhile I was a mere freshman. She has a disability that makes her unable to use her legs since birth. People stared. But, I treated her like any human being would want to be treated. I encouraged her to do track with me. She accepted. She made it to state along with me. And got first in womens shot put for disabilities. I watched over her and made sure nobody critizided. Even though people still stared, I assured her, and laughed with her, throughout our time together in track.

Cross-Cultural Psycologist

Finding myself. This may not be a challenge most people think of when asked such a diverse question but for me, it's at the top of my list. I always thought there was something that separated me from people. At the same time, I also feel a strong connection with people. It boggled my mind for years how I can have both things happen to me. Freshman (Highschool) year came around I found something that I thought would help me gain a better understanding of not only me but of what I want to become. What do I want to do with my life? And how do I want to approach it? These very questions are what I thought would help me to find myself. Or rather discover who I truly am in this life. That thing I found would be the last thing I expected to help me. It was an IDLA (Idaho Digital Learning Academy) course. The course mainly revolved around the central idea of helping me find a career path. As the name implies "Career and Life Planning". During the course, I had an assignment in particular which had me take a personality test. They Meyers Briggs test. The Myers–Briggs test is an introspective self-report questionnaire indicating differing psychological preferences in how people perceive the world and make decisions. I took the test three times to make sure but the outcome was the same each time. My personality type was an INFJ. After doing the research and digging up what an INFJ is I was shocked but relieved all at once. INFJs are usually reserved but highly sensitive to how others feel. They are typically idealistic, with high moral standards and a strong focus on the future. This statement right here answered my questions. Perceiving how I see the world around me and my current understanding of it, it just clicked. The realization fell into place of why I was feeling the way I was. There is, in fact, a small community for INFJ's and quite a bit of research that has been done on this particular group of individuals. Beyond all this, the one thing that stood out to me was how little of us there are. INFJs are very rare personality types because of their uncommon traits and characteristics. The personality type makes up 1.5 percent of the population. The majority being female. coming upon this information gave me not only new insight into my potential but helped me understand I have a place I belong, and in knowing myself just that much more. I'll definitely have more trials to face greater than this one. I'd be lying if I didn't say it was a weight on my shoulders. Time might be most of the population's enemy but I never knew how much it helped me. "There is a time and place for everything" Little did I know all those years I needed to be patient and let time will fulfill its job. Im on 16! And I've found and discovered so much of me. Yet there is a journey ahead of me. It might be scary but knowing who I am helps me succeed just that much more. whether I realize it or not in the long run!