"Eat dessert first, life is too short" -Grandpa Virgil Sadly my grandpa passed away unexpectedly in 2019. Some people are just too great for this world. He was a mountain of a man, but a soft-spoken, gentle giant that had all-knowing, all-seeing green eyes. My grandpa never stopped learning. Every day he picked up a book, the subject did not matter much to him, as long as he was learning something new. He would always tell me "you are smarter than you realize, and your brain has the ability to hold vast amounts of knowledge that could be used to help other people." My grandpa was a compassionate man, he would have done anything for anybody. A give you the shirt off his back kind of man, and never expected payment from his work. This type of generosity is exceedingly rare in the world today, it made him stand above the rest. He taught me that throughout his life he let people influence his decisions, the decisions that as an older man, were now regrets. "Never put your dreams off," he told me. He decided at 69 to have his knees replaced so he could get out and enjoy the life he had remaining and accomplish some of the dreams he still had. He would never make it out of the hospital. None of us are promised tomorrow. I will be the first in my family to attend college, and I know my grandpa would be so proud of me. Of course, I will eat dessert first, because I, like the rest of us are not promised tomorrow.

For most of my life my mom was a single mother. Like so many others she would struggle financially. She however made it a point not to hide it from me, instead used it to encourage my educational goals. She was in the medical field, a dental assistant, but would tell me often had she gone to college and gotten her degree in Dental Hygiene things would be different for us. This led to an early understanding that attending college would open more doors and opportunity for me. I had been thinking of the medical profession for some time, but did not have much experience seeing things first hand since I have been blessed and have not been sick much. I got the chance to watch my mom and sister go through numerous health issues after her birth when I was 14 and again in 2019 when my grandfather fell into a coma suddenly and past away a week later. With the advice of my mother, I contacted a few Nurse Practitioners in our area. Women and men who had been in their field for many years. I talked to each one about the ups and downs, ins and outs of the field. I gained invaluable knowledge about the field that I will be able to use throughout my education. I have always been athletic. I started in basketball at a young age and it has been my passion for most of my life. I have played days, nights, weekends, with friends and alone. I have played all 4 years of high school on the Varsity team and am proud to be the District Champions this year. It wasn't until I reached middle school that I realized I had a gift for cross country and track and field. Long distance running comes naturally to me. Running has become my new passion. This year, so far, I am the District Champion of the 3200 meter and 1600 meter. This new passion led me to Oklahoma Wesleyan University. I will be joining their cross country and track and field team this fall. I will be the first person in my family to attend college. I hope to inspire my niece, nephew and baby sister to pursue a higher education. Beyond that I want to make my mother proud and show her all of her hard work, determination and support led me to my career path. I am planning on attending college at Oklahoma Wesleyan University to pursue my degree in Pediatric Nurse Practitioning. After graduation I plan to donate my time to Doctors without borders and to serve the underprivileged community as much as possible. I am yet undecided if I will pursue my degree further to become an M.D.

"Eat dessert first, life is too short" -Grandpa Virgil The single greatest inspiration and the greatest loss our family has ever felt was my grandpa, Virgil. Sadly he passed away unexpectedly and very suddenly in November of 2019 following a routine surgical procedure. His passing was a direct result of negligence on the hospital staff part, making his passing even more tragic. He should still be with us. Some people are just too great for this world. He was a mountain of a man, but a soft-spoken, gentle giant that had all-knowing and all-seeing green eyes, he would look at you and you knew he could see your soul. My grandpa never stopped learning. His whole life he read books. Every day he picked up a book, it could be about gardening, finance, the universe, the subject did not matter much to him, as long as he was learning something new. He would always tell me "you are smarter than you realize, and your brain has the ability to hold vast amounts of knowledge that could be used to help other people." My grandpa was a compassionate man, he would have done anything for anybody. A give you the shirt off his back kind of man, and never expected payment from his work. A good home-cooked meal, a batch of chocolate chip cookies, or some vanilla ice cream that was payment enough. This type of generosity is exceedingly rare in the world today, it made him stand above the rest. He taught me that throughout his life he let people influence his decisions, the decisions that as an older man now were regrets. He wanted to go and do certain things but let others tell him to wait until he was retired or after the kids grew up. Then one day he was retired, his knees so bad he could barely walk, he realized he could no longer do the things he had been waiting for. "Never put your dreams off," he told me. He decided at 69 to have his knees replaced so he could get out and enjoy the life he had remaining and accomplish some of the dreams he still had. He succumbed to oxygen deprivation while sleeping the sedation medication off in his hospital room. He never had the opportunity to realize to see those dreams come to fruition. None of us are promised tomorrow. I will be the first in my family to attend college, and I know my grandpa would be so proud of me. I know he is watching over me and helping guide me. I have decided with my parents to go out of state and start experiencing the things my grandfather would tell me about. Travel, "go see this great beautiful world" he would tell me. "What a shame it would be if we spent our whole lives in one tiny town, never experiencing all that the world offers." I plan to pursue a career as a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner. I want what I do to make a difference in people's lives. After graduation, I plan to volunteer on the weekends as a coach for basketball. I would love to join Doctors without borders and volunteer my time and knowledge to help those less fortunate than myself and give back to the great beautiful world my grandpa saw, and of course, I will eat dessert first, because I am not promised tomorrow.

Life is what happens when you are looking at your smart phone. Today smart phones are everywhere; this should come as no surprise to anyone. While this technology has opened up our world to infinite knowledge at our fingertips it has also cut us off from the world in so many ways. Many young adults spend an average of 6 hours and more on their phones every day. These are hours that are no longer spend gathered in the kitchen cooking a meal or around the dinner table discussing the events of the day. We rarely gather in the living room to watch a family television show or movie without tagging along our phones and coincidentally spending most of the time chatting with "friends" instead of being present in the moment with family. We have more "social friends" than real true dependable friends. We no longer contribute the time and energy to build bonds with these friends doing activities that don't involve our phones. On the opposite side of this argument is that we as a society can keep up with friends and family that have moved away, live in different time zones making phone conversations difficult. Grandparents can watch grandchildren who live across the country grow up daily, have video real-time conversations with them, and get to be involved in their daily lives. It gives the father serving our country overseas the ability to communicate in real-time with his wife and children that he hasn't seen in person in a year. Smart phones are amazing, we can travel the world, any destination that we choose. We can look through endless galleries and videos of other people's travels. For some, this is the only way they will ever experience these things. We get to see fantastic creatures that in life most of us would likely never see in person. We can research any topic, on any place, and learn mountains about it. With this also comes the enormous amount of misinformation. Never really knowing if what your reading is true or just something false put out there by an individual. This has led to a division in our country so deep I'm not sure if we will ever be able to recover. Smart phones and driving is an epidemic. Currently, 14% of all fatal car crashes in the United States involved some sort of smart phone usage (2018 statistic). This resulted in more than 3 thousand people losing their lives. I know personally, I have to do a better job. The phone is an addiction, it's hard to go more than a few minutes without looking at it. The ding of notification is drawing, enticing. Once you hear it it's hard to forget. It is likely never going to be something that is worth losing your life to or causing someone else to lose theirs, but it pulls you in. All in all smart phones are a blessing and a curse. I strongly feel that we need to put down the phones and live life, real life. Experience things in person. Touch that Thai Gigantic Elephant Ear plant, climb that mountain, and breath in the cold, crisp mountain air. Spend the time talking to your family, they will not be here forever and those memories will last a lifetime. Do more things that make you forget to check your phone. We as a society, with all our technology, have to do better. We have to realize that while a great advancement, they are actually impeding our growth.

"It is not flesh and blood but the heart that makes us father and son" -Johann Schiller There are probably no words in the english language that could do my bonus dads love and actions justice. He stepped into my life six short years ago; out of nowhere and unexpectedly. He earned my trust and respect, he never expected or demanded it. Through the last six years he has become my dad. He has taught me more about being a man, a decent human being, a loving father, a support pillar, a team player and a family leader than any man before him, including my biological father. It wasn't all that long ago that my mom and I were in a rather verbally abusive home. My so called father made life pretty miserable for both of us. My mom, she is a Saint, always looked for the opportunity to escape. A safe way to leave without completely destroying all she had worked so hard for and without interrupting my very young life too much. She secretly saved and saved until she had enough money to not only packup all of my belongings, mind you not hers, and fly us from our current state of Hawaii to our home state of Texas and start a new life. This was the beginning of our happy ending. It wasn't long after we escaped and moved home that she met my now bonus dad. She was hesitant, me even more so. This man however was kind, he took the time to take us places that we wanted to go to. He took me fishing, showed me how to hunt, played basketball with me, even though he hates basketball, and did things with us without complaint. Fast forward a year and he builds us a home, something my mom and I could call our own, a safe place to feel relaxed. When the time came and he had decided to ask my mom to marry him he asked my permission, that right, he asked me. He wanted to make sure I was comfortable with him being in my life and he wanted to make sure I thought he was the best for my wonderful mom, he was. Since that day he has stepped up even more. He shows up to every game, he is the loudest on in the stands. He encourages me to pursue my dreams, he has lovingly disciplined me when I need it, but while teaching me a life lesson in the process. He taught me to drive, to shave, how to tie a tie. Countless things a father does with thier son, but I'm not his, but then again I am. He is my dad, no step or bonus, just dad. If it weren't for this man's unwavering kindness to me, I really don't know if I would be where I am today. I do know, I want to be a husband and father like him someday. Thank you, Thomas Rash for being my dad. I couldn't have chosen a better one myself.

2020 was some year. Between missing out on my junior prom, my track team on pace to go to state championship, my parents getting sick and watching helplessly and wondering if my step-father was going to survive it. Then watching my parents struggle financially for the first time after sinking all of their saving into starting a business that was to open late summer of 2020, it opened but was very very slow, nothing like they has anticipated. Through all of the trials and tribulations of the last year I did come away with some very valuable life lessons. Never take anything for granted. You never know when the last time will be. The last time to see or hug your grandfather. The last time to go to class and hang out with your high school friends. The last time to be able to walk freely among your community and actually see the smiling familiar faces. Life is too short to get caught up being addicted to electronics. Take the time to eat dinner with your family every night. Take a walk and talk with your mom, you and her will remember that walk for the rest of your lives. Play in the yard with your siblings, build a close bond that will last a lifetime, one day your parents will be gone and they will be your closest family. Stop being in such a rush. Enjoy every minute of everyday. A slower pace to life allows you to take in more of the sights and sounds. It will help ease your stress and thus make your life more enjoyable. Stop wishing you were older and out of school and on your own. Life is short no matter how long it feels. Slow down and enjoy every moment.

Second Hand Lions "Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things that a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing. That good always triumphs over evil. I want you to remember this, that love, true love, never dies. No matter if they are true or not, a man should believe in those things because those are the things worth believing in." Robert Duvall - Second Hand Lions Second Hand Lions, while not a wildly popular movie is one of my all-time favorites. There is something important to learn from almost every character in the movie. Never judge a man by his outward personality, you truly have no idea what kind of person he is, or what he has been through. Never take for granted the people in this world that you love, for we are not promised tomorrow with them. We should all respect our elders, they were once far more bad-ass than we could ever imagine. There is a lesson to learn in all walks of life, each person that comes into our world will teach us something. Not all lessons will be good, not all people will be good, but they are important and we should learn from them.

For most of my life my mom was a single mother. LIke so many others she would struggle financially. She however made it a point not to hide it from me, instead used it to encourage my educational goals. She was in the medical field, a dental assistant, but would tell me often had she gone to college and gotten her degree in Dental Hygiene things would be different for us. This led to an early understanding that attending college would open more doors and opportunity for me. Let's face it my mother knew early on that I was book smart, charismatic and had absolutely no common sense. She knew I was never going to be a mechanic, construction worker or carpenter. Instead she nutured and guided me on the path that she knew I would succeed in. She taught me about dentistry, nursing and medicine in general. She would research and then talk to me about a law degree, accounting and architecture. I had been thinking of the medical profession for some time, but did not have much experience seeing things first hand since I have been blessed and have not been sick much. I got the chance to watch my mom and sister go through numerous health issues after her birth when I was 14 , seeing how the compassionate nurses were there, day in day out, all day, all night. They never seemed bothered if my mom had a question. Never too tired to make a silly face to make my sister laugh. I had decided that I would look into nursing even further. With the advice of my mother, I contacted a few Nurse Practitioners in our area. Women and men who had been in their field for many years. I talked to each one about the ups and downs, ins and outs of the field. I gained invaluable knowledge about the field. I had thought I had made up my mind but something still wasn't satisfied within me. I kept thinking if it would be worth it and continue my degree all the way to M.D. Then the unthinkable happened. My grandfather went in to have a routine knee replacement surgery, unfortunately, he succumbed to oxygen deprivation in his hospital room hours after the procedure because his oxygen level had not been properly monitored for several hours. The next week of experience in the ICU with my grandfather being on a ventilator and unconscious sealed my decision. Seeing the nurses comb his hair, brush his teeth, laugh with my granny about his big nose, and out of control hairy eyebrows had made my decision easy. The doctor, though wonderfully brilliant and nice, came in and out in moments. He was far too busy to worry about how this was affecting my family's heart and metal state. The nurse, however, hugged and cried with my mom. Brought her Starbucks when she saw she hadn't slept for days in the waiting room. That I told myself, is who I want to be. A Nurse. I will be the first person in my family to attend college. I hope to inspire my niece, nephew and baby sister to pursue a higher education. Beyond that I want to make my mother proud and show her all of her hard work, determination and support led me to my career path. I am planning on attending college at Oklahoma Wesleyan University to pursue my degree in Pediatric Nurse Practitioning. After graduation I plan to donate my time to Doctors without borders and to serve the underprivileged community as much as possible.

"Be the change in the world you would like to see" - Ghandi I would like to see more of the world well, care for more of the world. There are so many wonderful people in this world, each one unique. If everyone would take just a moment of their day to try and make a difference, a small difference, there is no telling how much better the world could become. There is so much wealth, abundance, and waste in so many societies around the world. Knowledge and medications that cure and treat illnesses that in other areas of the planet mean a death sentence for someone. In that same world desperation, poverty, starvation, and illness run ramped. Society and big business are too caught up with the money, bottom line, and taking control that many times they simply are unwilling to share the wealth. The thought that children die every day from an illness I received a vaccination for as a baby saddens me. If it is available to me, make it available to them. We pay too much, it should more than adequate to be able to cover the cost of administering it to those in need. I have more food in my pantry than we could eat, a lot of it will go bad and be thrown away before it's consumed. This is the case in millions of homes, yet, children starve to death in other areas from lack of clean water and food. Locally I have put together food drives to collect canned goods and non-perishable food items from families that have abundance and donated them to local food banks to help our local families that are struggling. I have donated and collected clothes, shoes, blankets, and toys to homeless shelters and local organizations, and churches. I have gone on several mission trips with my church to help serve food and spread the love of Jesus Christ to the underprivileged. One thing I noticed, most don't want to have to ask for help, it's embarrassing to them. So I say if you see someone who needs help, help, do not ask. Drop that bag of groceries off knock on the door and leave. Pay for the gas for the momma who's car keeps getting declined and she's crying. Help the elderly couple get a window unit for their house so they aren't baking in the heat during the summer. If your blessed and live in an area that there are not a lot of people who could use help. Donate! Call up any local church they should have a list of organizations that are reputable. It's a trickle affect. After I finish college and acquire my Nurse Practitioner degree I plan to donate my time and knowledge to Doctors without borders and homeless, battered women shelters in my local area. Once I become more financially stable I will also donate a portion of my salary, of course canned goods and non-perishable food items all along the way. Monetary donations make these things possible, yes, but it starts with human beings caring for one another.

When you hunt all season and only see that big deer on camera at night and then the day after hunting season closes it shows up in the broad daylight. #thatsaboutright #huntinglife #darndeer @Fcomolly12

"The same water that softens the potato also hardens the egg. Its about what your made of, not about your circumstance" -author unknown to me- Simple, almost poetic. I thought long and hard about this. Funny how something so simple can make you think so deeply, yet here I am. Pondering how I will let leaving my small nest affect me and my future. I made the decision to be the egg. To me, the egg stands for letting the uncontrollable circumstance of life mold me, form me into a more solid sturdy member of society. The egg has the ability to adapt. The shell may be hardened in both instances, but the boiled eggs yolk, its heart, changes. Without boiling its easily broken, spilled, and mixed up. After boiling is still soft, but it has learned it can go through the fire and come out on the other side and stand alone. The egg let the circumstance of the boiling water make it better. I refuse to be the potato, the potato lets life's circumstances leave it a pile of mush, dissolving into the water the longer it experiences the heat. My mom and I have been though some tough times together. She was in a verbally abusive relationship, and his verbal assaults eventually took aim at me as well. Once she realized his focus had turned to me, she made the difficult decision to leave him. We were alone half way across the world from any family. She had a good job, but barely enough money to pay for everything a single mother is responsible for. She worked day and night often times not eating for days at a time to make sure I had plenty. Often I would tell her I was full, so she could finish my sandwich or whatever meal she had lovingly prepared for me. My mom is a hero to me. She protected me, she shielded me, she never told me she couldn't afford for me to play in the band, play a sport, or go to a movie. I now know she was probably taking the last few dollars from her purse to give me, meaning she wasn't going to be eating lunch that week. She is my angel. After we were able to move back home and recover from our life changing experience, she found love again, true actual love. The man she met has treated me as his son since day one. He has show me what a real husband and father is suppose to be. He worships my mom, she deserves it. He has taught me how to be a man. This change in circumstance showed me that you can experience the worst life has to throw at you and if your like my mom, and never stop smiling, never lets the bad times destroy your character, always see the bright future that lays unwritten ahead of you you can come out on the other side standing taller, more confident, secure, and proud. I strive everyday to be like my mom and the egg.

"Eat dessert first, life is too short" -Grandpa Virgil The single greatest inspiration in my life has been my grandpa Virgil. Sadly he passed away unexpectedly and very suddenly in November of 2019. Some people are just too great for this world. He was a mountain of a man, but a soft spoken, gentle giant that had all knowing and all seeing green eyes, he would look at you and you knew he could see your soul. My grandpa never stopped learning. His whole life he read books. Everyday he picked up a book, it could be about gardening, finance, the universe, the subject did not matter much to him, as long as he was learning something new. He would always tell me "your smarter than you realize, and your brain has the ability to hold vast amounts of knowledge that could be used to help other people." My grandpa was a compassionate man, he would have done anything for anybody. A give you the shirt off his back kind of man, and never expected payment from his work. A good home cooked meal, a batch of chocolate chip cookies that was payment enough. This type of generosity is exceedingly rare in the world today, it made him stand above the rest. He taught me that throughout his life he let people influence his decisions, the decisions that as an older man now were regrets. He wanted to go and do certain things but let others tell him to wait until he was retired or after the kids grew up. Then one day he was retired, his knees so bad he could barely walk, he realized he could no longer do the things he had been waiting for. "Never put your dreams off" he told me. He decided at 69 to have his knees replaced so he could get out and enjoy the life he had remaining and accomplish some of the dreams, he succumbed on the table and never got to realize any of them. None of us are promised tomorrow. I will be the first in my family to attend college, and I know my grandpa would be so proud of me. I know he is watching over me and helping guide me. I have decided with my parents to go out of state and start experiencing the things my grandfather would tell me about. Travel, "go see this great beautiful world" he would tell me. "What a shame it would be if we spent our whole lives in one tiny town, never experiencing all that the world offers." I plan to pursue a career as a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner. I want what I do to make a difference in people's lives. After graduation I plan to volunteer on the weekends as a coach for basketball. I would love to join Doctors without borders and volunteer my time and knowledge to help those less fortunate than myself and give back to the great beautiful world my grandpa saw, and of course I will eat dessert first, because I am not promised tomorrow.

Sometimes the closest ones to us are the ones that feel completely alone. My aunt Jessica was considered a quiet, shy child. She married and had two children by the time she was 23, happy in appearance. My mom describes her as a quirky, silly goofball. Everything from the outside was blissful. She was a devoted doting mother to her two toddlers. No one would ever suspect that she had been battling paranoid schizophrenia, chronic depression and bipolar disorder, quietly, behind closed doors for years. She hid it well behind her smiles and laughter as so many of them do. Then one day her husband began to drink to deal with her random outburst. His drinking and her behavior behind closed doors eventually lead to their separation a couple of years into their marriage. This, unfortunately, leads her to the use of drugs. The drugs only exacerbated her diseases, eventually leading to her disappearance from anyone's lives for weeks to months at a time. Leaving her 2-year-old and 4-year-old wondering where their loving devoted mother had gone. Over the next 6 years her situation spiraled out of control. The longest anyone had gone without seeing or hearing from her was 8 months. T Miraculously, rock bottom, death's front door, was the wake-up call she needed. I'm happy to report that she had been clean and sober for almost 3 years. The effects this had on her children and the rest of the family are deep. It was a long time before any of us could trust her. I will be pursuing a career as a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner and hope to be able to identify early on any possible signs of mental health problems. Inform families of the proper steps and resources available to them so that they do not end up in a situation that my family has been through.

Sometimes the closest ones to us are the ones that feel completely alone. My aunt Jessica was considered a quiet, shy child. Never one to stir the pot, get in trouble or act out in any way. She married and had two children by the time she was 23, happy in appearance. My mom describes her as a quirky, silly goofball. You never knew what funky patterned socks she would be wearing or what new hairstyle of color streak in her hair she would show up with. Everything from the outside was blissful. She was a devoted doting mother to her two toddlers. She had developed a love of gardening from my pawpaw and had planted her little vegetable garden next to her house, and it was thriving. No one would ever suspect that she had been battling paranoid schizophrenia, chronic depression and bipolar disorder, quietly, behind closed doors for years. She hid it well behind her smiles and laughter as so many of them do. Then one day her husband began to drink to deal with her random outburst. His drinking and her behavior behind closed doors eventually lead to their separation a couple of years into their marriage. This, unfortunately, leads her to the use of drugs. The drugs only exacerbated her diseases, eventually leading to her disappearance from anyone's lives for weeks to months at a time. Leaving her 2-year-old and 4-year-old wondering where their loving devoted mother had gone. Over the next 6 years her situation spiraled out of control. My grandparents gained custody of her children, but this time their father had gone to prison and their mother was deemed incapable of caring for them. The longest they had gone without seeing or hearing from her was 8 months, heartbreaking for any child. The events came to a head in February 2018 when she showed up at my grandmother's house, strung out, talking to people who were not there, but complaining of pain in her knee. My grandmother looked her very dirty, homeless daughter over and saw a very large abscess on her knee, with a fever of 103 degrees. She called 911, the ambulance driver had to physically pick my aunt up and put her in the ambulance, and strap her down. She was refusing to get help, blaming them for her health and problems. At the hospital it did not get any better, she refused all treatment, stated she was not sick and they were holding her against her will. Eventually, she slipped into a coma from Sepsis. This was the opportunity for my mom to consent to treatment on her behalf. They kept her heavily sedated for weeks. Drained MRSA abscesses from her knee, wrist, rib cage, and fingers. They informed us that, given another day or two on the streets she would have been dead. These were some of the darkest times in my family. Everyone showed signs of depression from the situation. All of us were heartbroken. We wanted to help. We would seek help, but because she was an adult all we heard was there was nothing they could do. We heard those words on repeat for six long years. Miraculously, rock bottom, death's front door, was the wake-up call she needed. I'm happy to report that she had been clean and sober for almost 3 years. Has regained custody of her children and is once again their wonderful mother. She is still suffering from mental illness and had to take medications regularly. She lives with my grandmother to make sure she doesn't slip and skip her medication or appointments with her doctors. The effects this had on her children and the rest of the family are deep. It was a long time before any of us could trust her. Some of us still struggle with this. Her children are slowly coming around but still call my grandmother mom occasionally. If they have an issue with school work they usually turn to my grandmother also. I can't imagine what they are going through or feeling any given day. I fear that her mental illness and subsequent drug problem will eventually lead to their mental health issues. Thus completing a circle that seems to never stop, it just keeps going, and more and more suffer from it than ever before.

Sometimes the closest ones to us are the ones that feel completely alone. My aunt Jessica was considered a quiet, shy child. Never one to stir the pot, get in trouble or act out in any way. She married and had two children by the time she was 23, happy in appearance. My mom describes her as a quirky, silly goofball. You never knew what funky patterned socks she would be wearing or what new hairstyle of color streak in her hair she would show up with. Everything from the outside was blissful. She was a devoted doting mother to her two toddlers. She had developed a love of gardening from my pawpaw and had planted her little vegetable garden next to her house, and it was thriving. No one would ever suspect that she had been battling paranoid schizophrenia, chronic depression and bipolar disorder, quietly, behind closed doors for years. She hid it well behind her smiles and laughter as so many of them do. Until one day her husband began to drink to deal with her random outburst. His drinking and her behavior behind closed doors eventually lead to their separation a couple of years into their marriage. This, unfortunately, leads her to the use of drugs. The drugs only exacerbated her diseases, eventually leading to her disappearance from anyone's lives for weeks to months at a time. Leaving her 2-year-old and 4-year-old wondering where their loving devoted mother had gone. Over the next 6 years her situation spiraled out of control. My grandparents gained custody of her children, but this time their father had gone to prison and their mother was deemed incapable of caring for them. The longest they had gone without seeing or hearing from her was 8 months, heartbreaking for any child. The events came to a head in February 2018 when she showed up at my grandmother's house, strung out, talking to people who were not there, but complaining of pain in her knee. My grandmother looked her very dirty, homeless, helpless self over and saw a very large abscess on her knee, with a fever of 103 degrees. She called 911, the ambulance driver had to physically pick my aunt up and put her in the ambulance, and strap her down. She was refusing to get help, blaming them for her health. At the hospital it did not get any better, she refused all treatment, stated she was not sick and they were holding her against her will. Eventually, she slipped into a coma from Sepsis. This was the opportunity for my mom to consent to treatment on her behalf. They kept her heavily sedated for weeks. Drained MRSA abscesses from her knee, wrist, rib cage, and fingers. They informed us given another day or two on the streets she would have been dead. Miraculously, rock bottom, death's front door, was the wake-up call she needed. I'm happy to report that she had been clean and sober for almost 3 years. Has regained custody of her children and is once again their wonderful mother. She is still suffering from mental illness and had to take medications regularly. She lives with my grandmother to make sure she doesn't slip and skip her medication or appointments with her doctors. The effects this had on her children and the rest of the family are deep. It was a long time before any of us could trust her. Some of us still struggle with this. Her children are slowly coming around but still call my grandmother mom occasionally. If they have an issue with school work they usually turn to my grandmother also. I can't imagine what they are going through or feeling any given day. I fear that her mental illness and subsequent drug problem will eventually lead to their mental health issues. Thus completing a circle that never stops, it just keeps going, and more and more suffer from it than ever before.

A baby sister changes everything..... At 14 years old I found out that I was no longer going to be an only child. Shocker, I know, I was surprised too. After the bundle of joy was born, I went to doctor appointments and hospital visits with my mom and baby sister. I watched as the nurses and doctors did the best they could to calm her fears, and my mom's as well. They would be funny, play games, offer to kiss booboos. I had been thinking of the medical profession for some time, but did not have much experience seeing things first hand since I have been blessed and have not been sick much. After watching everything my mom and baby sister went through, seeing how the compassionate nurses were there, day in day out, all day, all night. They never seemed bothered if my mom had a question. Never too tired to make a silly face to make my sister laugh. I had decided that I would look into nursing even further. With the advice of my mother, I contacted a few Nurse Practitioners in our area. Women and men who had been in their field for many years. Some were specialized OBGYN, Pediatrics, Psychology or Family Practice. I talked to each one about the ups and downs, ins and outs of the field. I gained invaluable knowledge about the field, difficult college courses, and real-life expectations. I had thought I had made up my mind but something still wasn't satisfied within me. I kept thinking if it would be worth it and continue my degree all the way to M.D. Then the unthinkable, in my family anyway, happened. My grandfather went in to have a routine knee replacement surgery, unfortunately, he succumbed to oxygen deprivation in his hospital room hours after the procedure because his oxygen level had not been properly monitored for several hours. The next week of experience in the ICU with my grandfather being on a ventilator and unconscious sealed my decision. Seeing the nurses comb his hair, brush his teeth, laugh with my granny about his big nose, and out of control hairy eyebrows had made my decision easy. The doctor, though wonderfully brilliant and nice, came in and out in moments. He was far too busy to worry about how this was affecting his family's heart. The nurse, however, hugged and cried with my mom. Brought her Starbucks when she saw she hadn't slept for days in the waiting room. That I told myself, is who I want to be. A Nurse. I am planning on attending college at Oklahoma Wesleyan University to pursue my degree in Pediatric Nurse Practitioning come the fall semester of 2021.

Sometimes the closest ones to us are the ones that feel completely alone. My aunt Jessica was considered a quiet, shy child. Never one to stir the pot, get in trouble or act out in any way. She married and had two children by the time she was 23, happy in appearance. My mom describes her as a quirky, silly goofball. You never knew what funky patterned socks she would be wearing or what new hairstyle of color streak in her hair she would show up with. Everything from the outside was blissful. She was a devoted doting mother to her two toddlers. She had developed a love of gardening from my pawpaw and had planted her little vegetable garden next to her house, and it was thriving. No one would ever suspect that she had been battling paranoid schizophrenia, chronic depression and bipolar disorder, quietly, behind closed doors for years. She hid it well behind her smiles and laughter as so many of them do. Until one day her husband began to drink to deal with her random outburst. His drinking and her behavior behind closed doors eventually lead to their separation a couple of years into their marriage. This, unfortunately, leads her to the use of drugs. The drugs only exacerbated her diseases, eventually leading to her disappearance from anyone's lives for weeks to months at a time. Leaving her 2-year-old and 4-year-old wondering where their loving devoted mother had gone. Over the next 6 years her situation spiraled out of control. My grandparents gained custody of her children, but this time their father had gone to prison and their mother was deemed incapable of caring for them. The longest they had gone without seeing or hearing from her was 8 months, heartbreaking for any child. The events came to a head in February 2018 when she showed up at my grandmother's house, strung out, talking to people who were not there, but complaining of pain in her knee. My grandmother looked her very dirty, homeless, helpless self over and saw a very large abscess on her knee, with a fever of 103 degrees. She called 911, the ambulance driver had to physically pick my aunt up and put her in the ambulance, and strap her down. She was refusing to get help, blaming them for her health. At the hospital it did not get any better, she refused all treatment, stated she was not sick and they were holding her against her will. Eventually, she slipped into a coma from Sepsis. This was the opportunity for my mom to consent to treatment on her behalf. They kept her heavily sedated for weeks. Drained MRSA abscesses from her knee, wrist, rib cage and fingers. They informed us given another day or two on the streets she would have been dead. Miraculously, rock bottom, death's front door, was the wake-up call she needed. I'm happy to report that she had been clean and sober for almost 3 years. Has regained custody of her children and is once again their wonderful mother. She is still suffering from mental illness and had to take medications regularly. She lives with my grandmother to make sure she doesn't slip and skip her medication or appointments with her doctors. The effects this had on her children and the rest of the family are deep. It was a long time before any of us could trust her. Some of us still struggle with this. Her children are slowly coming around, but still call my grandmother mom occasionally. If they have an issue with school work they usually turn to my grandmother also. I can't imagine what they are going through or feeling any given day. I fear that her mental illness and subsequent drug problem will eventually lead to their mental health issues. Thus completing a circle that never stops, it just keeps going, and more and more suffer from it than ever before.

Everything is bigger in Texas....even the weather! I live in southeast Texas and we are known for our rapidly changing, highly erratic weather. We have almost no seasons to speak of. We do have winter, sometimes. It might even snow an inch every 10 years give or take. The spring and fall produce nothing more than bi-polar episodes of cold and hot days intermingled with 100 inches of rain in 24 hours. It could be December and 80 degrees outside one day and then the next be 20 degrees. It could be the hells front porch of summer in August with it's 110 degree days as the norm and then suddenly one day for no apparent reason its only 70 degrees, oh how nice that is. Just for it to regain heat strength after its nice day of rest and bake you at 120 degrees for the rest of the month. We have 100 percent humidity for most of the year which makes the cold feel colder and the hot feel smothering. I didn't even mention the random tornado's that could occur with any given thunderstorm and of course let's not forget the hurricanes. Texas weather definitely leaves you guessing.

Do not put off until tomorrow what you can do today, for tomorrow is not promised to any of us. The single greatest inspiration in my life has been my grandpa Virgil. Sadly he passed away unexpectedly and very suddenly in November of 2019. Some people are just too great for this world. He was a mountain of a man, but a soft spoken, gentle giant that had all knowing and all seeing green eyes, he would look at you and you knew he could see your soul. My grandpa never stopped learning. His whole life he read books. Everyday he picked up a book, it could be about gardening, finance, the universe, the subject did not matter much to him, as long as he was learning something new. He would always tell me "your smarter than you realize, and your brain has the ability to hold vast amounts of knowledge that could be used to help other people." My grandpa was a compassionate man, he would have done anything for anybody and never expected payment from his work. A good home cooked meal, a batch of chocolate chip cookies that was payment enough. This type of generosity is rare in the world today, it made him stand above the rest. He taught me that throughout his life he let people influence his decisions, the decisions that as an older man now were regrets. He wanted to go and do certain things but let others tell him to wait until he was retired or after the kids grew up. Then one day he was retired, his knees so bad he could barely walk, he realized he could no longer do the things he had been waiting for. "Never put your dreams off" he told me. He decided at 69 to have his knees replaced so he could get out and enjoy the life he had and accomplish some of the dreams, he succumbed on the table and never got to realize any of them. None of us are promised tomorrow. I will be the first in my family to attend college, and I know my grandpa would be so proud of me. I know he is watching over me and helping guide me. I have decided with my parents to go out of state and start experiencing the things my grandfather would tell me about. Travel, "go see this great beautiful world" he would tell me. "What a shame it would be if we spent our whole lives in one tiny town, never experiencing all that the world offers." I plan to pursue a career as a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner. I want what I do to make a difference in people's lives. After graduation I plan to volunteer on the weekends as a coach for basketball. I would love to join Doctors without borders and volunteer my time and knowledge to help those less fortunate than myself and give back to the great beautiful world my grandpa saw.

"Be the change in the world you would like to see" - Ghandi I would like to see more of the world well, care for more of the world. There are so many wonderful people in this world, each one unique. If everyone would take just a moment of their day to try and make a difference, a small difference, there is no telling how much better the world could become. There is so much wealth, abundance, and waste in so many societies around the world. Knowledge and medications that cure and treat illnesses that in other areas of the planet mean a death sentence for someone. In that same world desperation, poverty, starvation, and illness run ramped. Society and big business are too caught up with the money, bottom line, and taking control that many times they simply are unwilling to share the wealth. The thought that children die every day from an illness I received a vaccination for as a baby saddens me. If it is available to me, make it available to them. We pay too much, it should more than adequate to be able to cover the cost of administering it to those in need. I have more food in my pantry than we could eat, a lot of it will go bad and be thrown away before it's consumed. This is the case in millions of homes, yet, children starve to death in other areas from lack of clean water and food. Locally I have put together food drives to collect canned goods and non-perishable food items from families that have abundance and donated them to local food banks to help our local families that are struggling. I have donated and collected clothes, shoes, blankets, and toys to homeless shelters and local organizations, and churches. I have gone on several mission trips with my church to help serve food and spread the love of Jesus Christ to the underprivileged. One thing I noticed, most don't want to have to ask for help, it's embarrassing to them. So I say if you see someone who needs help, help, do not ask. Drop that bag of groceries off knock on the door and leave. Pay for the gas for the momma who's car keeps getting declined and she's crying. Help the elderly couple get a window unit for their house so they aren't baking in the heat during the summer. If your blessed and live in an area that there are not a lot of people who could use help. Donate! Call up any local church they should have a list of organizations that are reputable. It's a trickle affect. After I finish college and acquire my Nurse Practitioner degree I plan to donate my time and knowledge to Doctors without borders and homeless, battered women shelters in my local area. Once I become more financially stable I will also donate a portion of my salary, of course canned goods and non-perishable food items all along the way. Monetary donations make these things possible, yes, but it starts with human beings caring for one another.

Being a big brother, harder than it appears. I was under the assumption that I was going to be an only child, after all, I was 14. Then the news came that changed my whole life, Baby #2 was expected. I never dreamed I could love someone so much. I'm so protective of this little bundle of spunky human. She completes my whole world, I'm her hero and she's my future. The pride I feel from being this little girl's big bubba is indescribable. I feel she makes me a better person, I strive to be the best influence.

"The mirror of a man's heart is his actions" -author unknown To exit this earthly world and leave behind warm memories, bold inspirations and most importantly a difference that extends to the next person in line for generations to come. Many feel that leaving a legacy means being remembered for your achievements. Reaching such great heights in business, politics, or wealth that you can afford the opportunity to give a small portion back to the community and thus be remembered with statues, Libraries and football stadiums named after you. This is true, this is a legacy, and to some they strive for this. They are not wrong, they made their mark, they will be remembered. They achieved their goals and may have even contributed large sums of money to help fund projects. This however is not me, a few years from now the next generation will be asking "Who is that" and reading about this person on a plaque in a memorial garden somewhere. Then they will walk off and most will never give the name or legacy of that person another thought. To me leaving behind my legacy would mean that I leave behind the ability to inspire others to have a warm heart, helping hand and compassion for their fellow man no matter their financial status, and no one ever needs to remember my name. I would love to be remembered by name of course, and thought of as the person that donated his time, even when he did have much. A person that pushes the buggy and loads the groceries for the elderly couple at the grocery store even though I was late to work, because they were obviously struggling. A person that when I got to where I was going, no matter how far up the latter that ends up, that I turned around to help the person behind me because I hope that they would then turn and help the one behind them. Decades, generations later people still helping people because of a disciple I stuck to change the day to day lives of people I came into contact with. This world needs more doers, carer's, helping hands. People who take on the difficult task of caring for humanity, empathizing with the unempathetic, when humanity is more like a porcupine than a teddy bear. To me these actions, though small, add up quickly. One kind act leads to another and then another. I want to leave a legacy as the person that was know being human and in so inspiring others to be human and see the soft fur that lies beneath the porcupine quills.

I will be the first in my family to attend college! Being in high school sports once seemed like and impossible thing for me, I'm not all that tall, was always considered small statured and no matter how much I worked out I just didn't "bulk up" like the other guys. My bonus dad stepped in and with a lot of encouragement and even more hard work and determination I reached that goal and thrived. Now, all these years later I am looking at attending Oklahoma Wesleyan University in the fall of 2021 and will be a proud member of their Track and Field and Cross Country team! GO EAGLES!! I have gone on many mission trips with my church in the last couple years and it was a hard reminder that no matter what I'm going through in life someone has it worse, someone is lost and does not know God has them in his arms. Most of my trips involved feeding the hungry. I have organized food drives in my local community to donate non perishable items to our local food pantries. No matter where I end up in life I want to continue to give back to the less fortunate. My mom and I have been there, we know what it is like first hand and the message needs to be spread that there is hope, a better way and that things will and can get better. After graduation from high school this year I plan to attend college in Oklahoma and pursue a degree in the medical field. Throughout the past couple of year I have gone back and forth with going all the way and getting my M.D. or staying in nursing and finishing with my N.P. I was always interested in working I pediatrics and after researching and talking to a few Pediatricians and pediatric Nurse Practitioners I have finalized my decision to get my N.P. with a specialty in pediatrics. Once I graduate from college and establish myself in an area I plan to stay, I plan on donating my weekend and after work hours to coaching underprivileged children in basketball and track and field. Not to long ago my mom and I escaped an abusing relationship with my step dad. Now, a few years later I am in a loving home with a great bonus dad who is more like a biological father to me. He has taught me by example everyday since he walked into our lives to put my faith in God. He encouraged me to attend my first church camp about 5 years ago, and it was at that summer camp that I was saved. I came home and announced I was getting baptized. My life has turned around 360* in the last 5 years. God is amazing and anything is possible!

I'm the egg. Being from a very small town I have taken for granted the influence the outside world can have on a person. Everyone knows me by name, my family, my history, my good traits and bad. They look out for me and others my age. They keep our best interest at heart and try and help us succeed. Looking at going out of state to college has opened my eyes to the prospect of not having this orb of protection so to speak. My mother actually introduced me to this quote a few weeks ago while discussing the pro's and con's of me moving away to go to college out of state and how difficult the transition could be for me. "The same water that softens the potato also hardens the egg. Its about what your made of, not about the circumstance" -author unknown to me- Simple, almost poetic. I thought long and hard about this. Funny how something so simple can make you think so deeply, yet here I am. Pondering how I will let leaving my small nest affect me and my future. I made the decision to be the egg. To me, the egg stands for letting the uncontrollable circumstance of life mold me, form me into a more solid sturdy member of society. The egg has the ability to adapt. The shell may be hardened in both instances, but the boiled eggs yolk, its heart, changes. Without boiling its easily broken, spilled, and mixed up. After boiling is still soft, but it has learned it can go through the fire and come out on the other side and stand alone. The egg let the circumstance of the boiling water make it better. I refuse to be the potato, the potato lets life's circumstances leave it a pile of mush, dissolving into the water the longer it experiences the heat.