Track and field was my saving grace at many points in my life. I began running track and field in middle school. It was the highlight of my day and was always fun. I continued to run track until my senior year of high school in 2021. During the year 2020, I was a junior in high school. This was the hardest year for me mentally and spiritually because I had been taken advantage of by young men I called my friends since grade school. It made me lose trust in myself and lose my strength. The only thing I knew to turn to was track and field. Running was like running away from the hurt and pain I endured. Running was like running away from my dark thoughts and finally having a clear head and only focusing on getting from the start line to the finish line. It helped me to put everything into perspective. The world was quiet. Everything made sense. When I began my first year attending North Carolina A&T State University, I felt free and was very excited to have a new start to life away from the suburbs of Chicago. Over time, I became very sick and continued to get sick often. Finally, it was winter break. I was so excited to come home to be around family and to ground myself after a long semester. At the end of winter break, I began to become very anxious about paying for college. I knew that my parents did not have the funds to support me and I did not have any scholarships despite having a high GPA. I felt as if I was not being heard or seen by my university. I was emailing the financial aid office and my department chair asking if there was any money left that could be awarded to me and many of them said that it was too late and that there was not enough money. I fell into this state of extreme anxiety. Eventually, winter break came to an end. I dreaded the end of winter break because I knew that I was going back to school almost 600 miles away from home without the money that I needed to stay there. After being there for a few days, I was in class on a Tuesday and received an email at the end of class. It said that I had to pay the rest of my tuition fees by the next day or all of my classes and housing would be dropped. My stomach sank and I rushed to my dorm. I spoke with my twin sister and my parents frantically. The next day, my sister and I walked to the financial aid office. The walk to the financial aid office felt like a long walk to hell. Felt like a long hallway that never ended. I was so anxious that I began gagging and almost vomiting due to the stress. Eventually, the financial situation was resolved but the anxiety stayed. It turned into Emetophobia, depression, dissociation/depersonalization and existential OCD. I've always said, "One more." One more minute, one more hour, one more day, one more week, one more month. This was always a saying in track and field. I always self-talked and told myself one more for each rep. It was a way to minimize the pain and keep me going. If it wasn't for my experience in sports, I would not be here today. I want my story to reach someone with depression/anxiety and let them know that it gets better and that they're not alone.

Life is what you make it as some say. But sometimes, it is hard to make life what you want it to be. You look up one day and life hits you like a truck. All of a sudden, you're thinking about everything and why things are the way they are and you can't seem to snap out of the never-ending intrusive thoughts that run through your mind from the moment you wake up until you fall asleep. It was winter break and I was wondering how I was going to come up with the money for my first spring semester of college. My twin sister had the funds to cover her spring semester but I was 4,000 dollars short. I would check my portal daily to see if there were any scholarships added to cover my tuition, but there was not. My sister said that if she had any scholarship money left over, she would give it to me. One day, she changed her mind and said that she would not give it to me. It sent me on a spiral. I had an anger outburst and panic attack because I felt like I was all alone. My parents did not have the funds to help me and we were leaving to fly back in a couple days. After arriving on campus, I went to my first psychology class on Tuesday. I picked the topic mental health and chose to study anxiety, depression, and stress in college students. During that class, I received an email that if my fees were not paid within the next two days, I would have my classes and housing dropped. Little did I know, that study would become my story. Walking to the financial aid office felt like the longest walk of my life. I felt nauseous the whole way there and back. Although I was getting more funding and eventually it was taken care of, I still felt that stress. I began to correlate leaving my room with being nauseous. I stopped eating as much and was nauseous all day. I just felt so alone and confused that my body was responding the way it was to the stress. I did not want to leave my room. I stayed inside for a week before I finally stepped outside of my room. I was slowly getting better but after I went to a party, I got contact high and began dissociating. I was in charge of driving my sister and my friend home. I was so panicky but I learned to suppress it and pretend that I was okay. By doing that for so long, my body went into survival mode. After that day, I was never the same. I am still not the same. I think about my mental state all day every day. When I went home for winter break, I went to the doctor the next day to get something to ease my anxiety. I cried during the whole doctor appointment. I felt like I could finally express myself after all that time. I was prescribed a medication and began taking it. That was the darkest time of all. But, I made it through that time by telling myself, "One more minute, one more hour, one more day." I went back to school so that I could continue on with my life and not dwell on everything. It was tough but I made it through my spring semester. At the end, I found out that I wouldn't be able to return due to no housing. I decided to change my major to business administration for my new university Florida A&M University. I have been studying psychology since my junior year in high school and I felt that it was becoming too much for me. I would skip certain sections in the textbook to avoid confronting certain issues and that is when I knew that it was not for me. I've always dreamed of having a career in psychology but going through this hard time has caused a career change for me. Going through this rough time has taught me that I am stronger than I think I am. It has made me come closer to God and to trust that this is a part of the process for me. I do still have anger in my heart at myself for allowing something so small drive me out of control and still allowing it to control my life but it is not a simple as snapping out of it as the other harder challenges I have been through. My relationships have not been the best since this has happened. I was isolated and was not communicating with people as much. I felt ashamed for the reason I was dealing with this. But now, I am more social and try to ignore the anxiety and depression and form new relationships and maintain old ones. It is not easy to continue daily because I feel like I am losing track of time and days and thinking about a lot of irrelevant things that my quality of life is not as it used to be. I want other people to know that they are not alone. Overthinking, anxiety, and depression can really take a toll on someone. Your reason for reaching a dark place is not dumb and meaningless. It was a significant time for you and was your trigger. It is important to remember to reach out to people and to not bottle emotions and handle them on your own. I am still growing and will reach out to a therapist again soon so that I can continue to grow and become the person I once knew. I am proud of how far I've come but I am not satisfied yet. I'm learning to love the broken parts of me and be patient with my growth. I am so hard on myself from being a former athlete but am learning to love the process.

Listening is not always by ear but by observing expressions. I have learned that the most effective way to listen to someone is by listening to what they are saying but also listening to their body language. It is one thing to hear someone and listen, but it is another thing to understand their emotion behind what they are saying. A friend can say that they are okay and doing great, but their expressions can say that they are at the lowest point in their lives. It is important to observe people and observe how their faces speak volumes before they can speak their mind. This has helped me in knowing what to say and what not to say to people and the appropriate time to say something. Make eye contact and watching how their eyes move when they say certain things can help you understand if there are lies being told. Listening to someone's expressions has helped me get out of a potential bad situation. Listening means everything to me. Slowing your inner thoughts and having an open mind has helped me in many friendships and relationships. You have the chance to read between the lines of what someone is saying and analyze it. Many times in arguments, you will need to silence your thoughts because you are too busy thinking of the next rebuttal when you should be listening to solve the situation at hand. At the end of the day, listening is a gift and it is something everyone should work on any chance they get. It is an important life skill in the workplace and in personal life.

The simple pleasures in life are often overlooked or unappreciated. Simple things such as being able to breathe easily, walk, talk to friends and loved ones, being able to hear nature, and being able to read and write. I reflect often on those simple pleasures when I look at other's struggles. Life has taught me to appreciate every moment. Record and take as many pictures as you can because years from now you may not be able to remember those moments without documentation. I remember walking to the cafeteria one morning on my college campus. Feeling the cool breeze on my warm skin and the sun kissing my face almost made me cry. It was a feeling I had not taken the time to appreciate in a long time. It was windy and cold but I almost did not want to go back inside. Simplicity is sometimes the most beautiful. Being able to go out and have friends that genuinely care for me is the best feeling in the world. The nights out, the laughter, and the smiling are the things I look forward to the most. Reading and writing are one of my most favorite things to do. I love to journal and being able to communicate with myself effectively is exonerating. It makes me happy that I can express myself and put my feelings and thoughts into a sweet melody that is easy for me to comprehend. I am learning every day how to love myself, the people around me, and life experiences more. It helps to do that when you break things down to simplicity and appreciate the process and not longing for the end the journey.

When the pandemic started, it was the middle of my junior year of high school. It was the middle of the track and field season as well. My season was going well but I was losing some love for the sport because the coaches I trained with the year prior were now replaced. The team was divided and there was always conflict. But, after we could not continue the season, there was a sense of relief. I was content. I began training again in the summer but then stopped again due to self-doubt. It was always something I struggled with. After a traumatic event, I began training again in November but after going on a trip for Thanksgiving, I lost the drive again and began doubting myself again, so I quit. In 2021, a new season began. I was conflicted of joining the team again but I realized that there were not many of the seniors left because some refused to return due to the new coaches. I decided to return because I knew that my team needed me and I also did not want to end my high school career with any regrets. I told myself I wanted to quit every day but every day I continued to stay. I did it for my teammates because I loved them. I knew that it was bigger than me. My sprint coach was very disrespectful and toxic to the team. He would use vulgar language with my teammates and I and we would get into arguments constantly. He doubted me too. That ignited a new fire in me. I wanted to prove to him that I deserve to hold a high position and that I deserved to be respected, especially as a senior athlete on varsity. The first track meet of the season showed him that. He went from speaking down on me and laughing at me to boasting about me and telling everyone else on the team to listen to me and respect me because I knew what I was talking about. He said that I was experienced and had so much trust in me. It was a weird dynamic from there on out. He would barely speak to me directly because he was afraid I would quit if he did. The other coaches on the team all had a talk with me to express my value to the team. I still had complaints about the new coaches. So, some teammates and I went to the board. We typed and printed sheets of what we would say to them and presented it professionally. We all fought for our teammates and took a risk by coming to the board about what they have been doing to us individually and as a collective. Not much change came from it but I always said that if it was the last thing I do for my team is that I would stand up for them no matter what it costed me. I continued to run for the team even though I was injured and in pain most of the time. On the last race at state, I made sure to run like I never had before and dropped more than a second on my split time during the relay. I was determined to do my best for the team. I had already decided that I was not going to run in college but that was some of their dreams. I put my personal feelings aside for others and I would do it all over again because that is what a real senior leader does.

Financial freedom means no more stressing every day about how I am going to pay for next semester. My biggest fear is that I will have trouble completing school if I do not have the money for it. My first semester coming to college, I did not understand how college tuition worked. I thought it would automatically work out and that I could come to school regardless of what money I owed. I had two weeks left to figure everything out with my parents. There were many arguments and phone calls daily. My parents do not have the credit score needed to take out a loan, so I did not have a cosigner. My dad was willing to use more than half of the money in his savings that would be used to pay off debts in order to improve his credit. My parents were fighting for financial freedom and still are. He was willing to sacrifice everything in order for my twin sister and I to go to the college of our dreams. If he were financially free, it would not have been an issue to pay for the both of us to go off to college. It would not have been the same amount of stress if they could have had the chance to set aside money for a college fund for my siblings and I. Financial freedom is happiness. Financial freedom is peace. I have been shown that my entire life. I have never lived in luxury. When we moved from Glenwood to Hazel Crest, there was a strain on my family because of the financial status. We had to make many sacrifices and cut backs on what we could have. I began working to do hair in the seventh grade with my twin sister. We understood what my parents were going through and wanted to take the load off some. I do not want my children to ever feel the need to work because I can only provide them their needs and never their wants. I do not want my children to work in pity of me not having enough. In the future, I can achieve financial freedom because I am willing to work hard at everything I do. I am in college now getting my education and always looking for scholarships to apply to now so that I can be more stable during college. I started off college being set on being just a psychology major. But as I have done more research and listened to one of my psychology professors, I realized that maybe I also want to minor in business as well. I want to expand my options so that after graduation, I will have more opportunities to land a well paying job. My brother is an inspiration to me because he is already a junior in college at FAMU as a business major and has no loans and no debt. He already has great connections and is getting a job for after graduation. He can start fresh out of college with an annual income of $80,000. I want to follow in his footsteps and get better connections. It is all about who you know in this world. I want to work in Human Resources. I feel like I will excel in that field since I am a psychology major and also having a minor in business will give me the business knowledge I will need to do well in the field. I am determined to learn and grow in order to reach my maximum potential and to finally obtain financial freedom.

Self-care is about caring for yourself mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I have struggled with self-care and now being in college, I understand how important it is. I have begun journaling to help with my challenging situations. You cannot always have someone to talk to at all hours of the day but doing a self check-in helps immensely. I have begun working on writing letters to people that have done wrong by me and forgiving them and writing apology letters for those I have hurt. It cleans the spirit and will help you mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Carrying heavy thoughts can cause stress which will cause a ripple effect in all aspects. Physically, I make sure I eat everyday. I am improving on eating because sometimes I feel it is unnecessary but I know that it is. I want to start an eating journal so that I can know how many calories I eat in a day and improve. I am going to start working out again because it also helps with all aspects of health and self-care. I notice a change in myself when I am honest with myself and truly care about my well-being. Self-love and self respect is important. How you love and respect yourself is how you will treat yourself. By doing these self-care things, your love and respect for yourself will begin to grow. I have seen it in myself and I am excited to see how much I will change and improve.

Friendship has always come easy to me but keeping friends was always hard. I was always afraid of having people too close to me in fear of losing them. Today I lost a friend that I have grown up with since I was young. Friendship means the world to me. Friendship is being there for someone and loving them unconditionally. Being there through thick and thin no matter the situation or circumstances. Someone who knows you inside and out. Having someone that cares deeply for you is something that cannot be bought. When I was at my lowest point, I always had a friend there to help me through it. My twin sister is my best friend. We have been together our whole lives and are still together through college. She has been there for me right or wrong. Even though we fight and argue, at the end of the day I know I can count on her to always be there. It is hard to put in words just how much I love her. We both struggle with depression and anxiety and we have been there for each other no matter what. When I was running track, I did not have my other family to support me often. She was at every track meet recording me and screaming my name until her voice was gone. Friendship is a warm feeling. A feeling of security and love. I have learned to hold your friends close because you never know when they will be taken from you. Always forgive and always work past any obstacles you come across. Grudges are something that cripples many friendships and sometimes that may be the last time you speak to that person. Cherish every waking moment you have with the ones you love the most.

The mind is the most powerful thing. Control of the mind is one of the most powerful things a person can possess. It is not always as easy to gain control over your mindset when there are negative things around you. But, it is always important to keep a growth mindset. When I feel like I am going backwards, I tend to write in my journal. I take note of the areas I feel I am lacking in and places where I have digressed instead of progressed. After reflection, I take a moment to also write down the ways I can get back to where I was and exceed that point. I also remind myself that it is not going to happen in a day. It is important to remind ourselves that growth is a mindset and not always an action. Everyday there is not going to be something grand to do in order to make progress. Some days you have done well just by getting out of bed, eating a balanced meal, brushing your teeth, or taking a shower. Growth starts from self care first. You cannot put a plant in the sun without watering it when it needs to be. It will not grow at a healthy rate and may begin to wilt and die. The same thing happens when you are overworking yourself while so focused on improving that you forget to water yourself. Continue to be positive and make sure that when you look in the mirror, you are happy with what you see. Daily affirmations are a great way to start a productive day and a way to get that fire started in you in order to grow. Life is not a race and you will grow at your own pace.

Patience is key is something I have always heard growing up. My mom was always a prime example of someone with patience. She was the primary care-taker of my three siblings and I as my father worked two to three jobs at a time. Since we lived on a campus called Glenwood Academy, she also was looking after 14 boys. She has had lots of patience with everyone regardless of the situation. My mother also has her own business that has been almost 10 years in the making. With endless responsibilities, she had to set her dreams aside and could not work on her product at the pace she wanted to. Today, she has completed her product and is now going to be airing commercials. I see how important patience is and how important it is to sit and wait sometimes. Everything in life is not going to come to you in the blink of an eye. Sometimes you should be patient because there could be better things awaiting you in the near future if you keep faith and sit tight. I know this personally because I am a freshman in college and there was only two weeks of summer and my twin sister and I still owed the university almost fourteen thousand dollars. At the last minute, everything came together with lots of help from others. Having patience can seem like you are walking through life blindly sometimes. I have learned that you cannot have full control over everything around you. You can only control your own thoughts and emotions and stay patient. Trust and manifest that everything will work out in the end and it will.

Do not allow your past trauma to affect your tomorrow. This is the sentence I would share with the world. This resonates with me deeply because there has been many days and nights that I have allowed past traumas to depict how I would act towards myself and others. I was angry, sad, and humiliated. I would bury the emotions and not realize I was. It was not until I reached college that I began doing self reflection and working on myself. The key is to acknowledge your past and forgive yourself and forgive others. That also comes with apologizing to others for the part you played in as well. One important thing I learned is to apologize before it is too late. Do not wait to let a person know how you feel because they may not be there for you to tell them later. Be willing to listen and understand those around you. Another reason this is a sentence holds weight is because I used to self harm by starving myself. Allowing my trauma to make me feel less than a person. Less than a person that deserved basic needs. It really amazes me to this day that I have come so far. I would never want anyone else to go through what I went through. It is okay to get help and speak about your issues. There are still good people in the world and you do not want to miss out on opportunities by looking through a lens that is clouded by judgement guided by fear, shame, and anger. Love yourself enough to pick yourself back up and do better. The world waits for nobody.

One of my happiest memories was this summer during my senior season in track and field. It was during the state championship and I was running as first leg in the 4x200 meter dash. I promised my teammates, which were juniors, that I would run my leg in 24 seconds. I was warming up and practicing to come in at that time. When the time came for the race, I was determined and I did just that. It was a very proud moment for me and it was the biggest personal record.

"Stop shrinking to places you've outgrown," by Furaha Joyce. This is a quote that resonates with me deeply. I have always shrunk myself to fit into friend groups that I have outgrown. There were stages in my life that I have disrespected myself more than I should have allowed. The cause for me shrinking myself is anxiety and self-doubt. When you get comfortable in a low place and lack self confidence and self respect, you tend to stay where you are comfortable. Growing past your insecurities and faults is one of the hardest things that anyone can do in life. In last year, I have endured two encounters of sexual assault. Overcoming that was extremely difficult. You begin to doubt your self worth and forget about everything you have worked for. You begin to shrink back into places that you thought you would never shrink back to. You pick up old unhealthy habits that you never thought you would partake in again. You begin to want to get back to the old you before the trauma took place, but you suddenly realize you are never going to be the same person again. Eventually, you will have to find a new you, a stronger and wiser you. You are forced to grow up and grow past it because the world waits for nobody. Growth is not something that happens overnight. Growth is a choice. When you are ready is when you will grow. If you are still in a shrinking phase, you will continue to be trapped in your own mind. I have learned that life is what you make it. If you continue to stay stagnant in one place, nobody can lift you from that dark place but you. You have to choose happiness. You have to choose yourself. You have to choose not to shrink.

Staying true to who you are is difficult in 2021, especially for young women. On social media, there are many celebrities or public figures that have gotten plastic surgery, face lifts, nose jobs, and injections. It makes it hard to stay true to who you are as a person and to be comfortable in your own skin. The way I stay true to myself in my daily life is doing self affirmations in the mirror. I remind myself that I am beautiful, I am kind, and I am worthy of all good things in life. I also journal about the things going on in my life. It helps to keep me grounded and remind me of my surroundings and the people I associate myself with. Knowing who you associate yourself with and what they bring to your life can help you figure out who you are and where you are in life. Many people forget that aspect in life. Your friends are a reflection of you. Sometimes I will take time away from my friends some days and reflect on what we have done together and how they add or take away from me. I also make sure that I stay true to who I am and how I grew up. I do not change how I act when I am around other people. If I notice that someone may not like the energy I bring, I will make new friends or be around new people. I accept myself for who I am and I am also aware that I am changing a lot due to the fact that I am a new college student. I am still figuring out who I am and that is okay. I am just making sure that I am staying true to my values.

I have battled with anxiety and depression severely during this pandemic. At the beginning of 2020, I was raped by a childhood friend. It was very hurtful and hard for me to process. I continued life and ignored it. I was an athlete doing track and field. I took out all my anger on the track and basically used that as a punishment for allowing that to happen to me. Later that year in early November, I was raped by yet another childhood friend. At that point in my life, I felt like I could not trust myself or anyone else around me. I was very closed off and went into a very dark place. I began to starve myself and lost about 13 pounds. I am still struggling to get my weight up now and it's almost been a year since each incident. It is much harder trying to get back to a healthy place, which is why it is important to talk to someone sooner. It's crazy to think how certain traumas that occur, you may never truly heal from. They leave scars and some are wounds that never truly heal. I believe that trauma can be used for the greater good. I always asked God "Why me?", but now I see how I can use my experience to help others. I am majoring in psychology at North Carolina A&T State University. I want to go into sports psychology because I know how hard it is to be an athlete and have to perform well while also going through hard times. I still succeeded regardless and I want to help those who have bottled things up and put on a smile for their coaches or teammates. If I can help someone that was in my shoes, that would mean the world and more to me.

Dating back to 1619, slavery had begun. Our fellow brothers and sisters were stripped from their land, families, and sense of self. Ever since they were brought to America, they were treated as cattle, less than cattle. They were dehumanized and tortured for hundreds of years. As anyone could imagine, their mental health was severely deteriorated and their only focus was survival. Even today, black people have the same mindset of survival, survival of the fittest even. The world today is designed for black people to fail. Always being treated poorly and being racially profiled can have a hefty impact on one's mental health. Along with that, parents have been taught from their ancestors that discipline is always physical. It is as if patient parenting doesn't exist. When our ancestors were taught to do as they were told or get a beating, they did not have the right tools to pass down. Many black parents today say "I was raised on getting beat and I turned out alright", but in reality, they have many mental health issues that they are unaware of. I feel that patient parenting and being vocal with your children more can help improve mental health. In the black community, therapy has a negative connotation. If you go to therapy, you are considered a crazy person. That is simply not true. The more we expose the option of therapy and lessen the stigma around it, the healthier the black community will be. If more black people speak out about going to therapy, it will become normalized. This day and age, social media is very influential, especially to the younger generation. If the younger generation normalizes therapy and speaking out about your feelings, many more people will seek the help they need. If the children are agreeing to going to therapy, they may be able to convince their parents, which will in turn result in healthier parenting. You see, this is all a domino effect. As soon as we begin to speak out against the stigmas of mental health in the black community, the sooner we will come together to help each other rise above all. This is a group effort and needs to be taken seriously. I plan on being a sports psychologist. I have been in track and field for years and have struggled mentally. I started going to therapy during high school to talk about those problems. It has helped me significantly. I also had a friend that used to go to therapy and we would talk about it as if it was normal. When I told others I went, they would ask me if I was crazy. Then, I became ashamed of telling people about me going and it was always a secret. I do not want therapy to be a secret anymore. I want to see the black community thrive beyond anyone's expectations or wildest dreams. The first session may be uncomfortable, but you have to be uncomfortable in order to grow and succeed.

My name is Imani Warner. I have been running track since middle school. I love the sport! It has been active in many aspects of my life. It has taught me to persevere through school, my personal life, and my mental health. It has helped me physically and mentally. I was able to be on the varsity team as a sophomore and that was my first year running high school track!

Finding My Purpose “Go, Imani! There you go!” is the main phrase I would hear from my mom at every track meet starting in Parker Junior High middle school. My mom, along with my teammates, coaches, and other bystanders, would cheer for me as I ran. The feeling of success and happiness rushed through my veins after each race. It was a high of dopamine that only lasted for a little while. I feel each deep but quick breath enter in through my nose and out through my mouth to regulate my breathing. All of a sudden, I felt pain in my lower leg. It was a very sharp and deep pain called shin splints. The constant pulsing pain was at the forefront of my mind but didn’t stop me from going to practice the next day. That’s how I lived every day. I never took breaks because I was always focusing on my teammates and the name I had to withhold. I never once sat back and self-evaluated to figure out what was best for my mental and physical health. Once I reached Homewood-Flossmoor Community High School, I decided to continue my track and field career. My whole freshman year, I excelled in academics but stopped taking track and field seriously due to being distracted. Entering my sophomore year, I decided to take track and field more seriously. My shins were finally healed. In the first week of time trials, I injured my left groin. It was a struggle to finally be healed and starting a new season to go back to being hurt. Once again, I ignored it as much as I could because I still knew I needed to complete my first season of high school track and field. My coaches began to dedicate more time to me to help me reach my goals. I was so passionate about the sport and what I brought to the table. My first reason for joining track and field was because I grew up on sports and always loved being active. After some traumatic experiences during my freshman year, the reason I ran track became entirely different. I stopped doing it because I loved it, I started doing it to prove myself to everyone else. I began to work myself and I put a lot of effort into my craft. We ended the season with being the state champions which was a great accomplishment. Junior year, I was doing well but I was losing that drive. I had to prove others wrong. I noticed when the gun went “BOOM!”, I wasn’t exploding out of the blocks as I did the year prior. I was dropping times but I wasn’t reaching my goals. I was burning out. I was losing my purpose for why I loved the sport in the first place. I introduced so much harm and hurt into the sport that I only made every practice a living hell for myself. It was as if I was punishing myself for something that was no longer in my control. It was hard for me to grasp the concept that I was losing love for the sport and I was still trying to please other people. I then realized that it was profusely bleeding into my school work, my friendships, and other relationships. I learned that life is your own and you have to romanticize your life. I only have one life to live and I can’t determine the rest of my life based on one mistake I made. I am still young and have so much to live for. The situation appears larger than it is because that’s the small piece of the world that I’ve been introduced to. Now, in my senior year, I’ve decided to take a break from track and field. I want to work on myself mentally and emotionally. The rings of the texts and calls from coaches make it hard to take a mental break. But, I am learning discipline and learning that my mental health is much more than being a people pleaser. This year of 2020 has taught me a lot of things, but the main thing it’s taught me is that I have to do a self-check. I start by asking myself, “How do I feel today?” “Have I gotten enough sleep?” “Have I consumed enough water or eaten enough?” It’s the simple things that I forget to do that are going to be needed to live the rest of my life comfortably. Self-care is so important when entering college. This is essential in learning how to manage time correctly and learning balance within life. That is the most important thing that I have learned from this year alone.

Finding My Purpose “Go, Imani! There you go!” is the main phrase I would hear from my mom at every track meet starting in Parker Junior High middle school. My mom, along with my teammates, coaches, and other bystanders, would cheer for me as I ran. The feeling of success and happiness rushed through my veins after each race. It was a high of dopamine that only lasted for a little while. I feel each deep but quick breath enter in through my nose and out through my mouth to regulate my breathing. All of a sudden, I felt pain in my lower leg. It was a very sharp and deep pain called shin splints. The constant pulsing pain was at the forefront of my mind but didn’t stop me from going to practice the next day. That’s how I lived every day. I never took breaks because I was always focusing on my teammates and the name I had to withhold. I never once sat back and self-evaluated to figure out what was best for my mental and physical health. Once I reached Homewood-Flossmoor Community High School, I decided to continue my track and field career. My whole freshman year, I excelled in academics but stopped taking track and field seriously due to being distracted. Entering my sophomore year, I decided to take track and field more seriously. My shins were finally healed. In the first week of time trials, I injured my left groin. It was a struggle to finally be healed and starting a new season to go back to being hurt. Once again, I ignored it as much as I could because I still knew I needed to complete my first season of high school track and field. My coaches began to dedicate more time to me to help me reach my goals. I was so passionate about the sport and what I brought to the table. My first reason for joining track and field was because I grew up on sports and always loved being active. After some traumatic experiences during my freshman year, the reason I ran track became entirely different. I stopped doing it because I loved it, I started doing it to prove myself to everyone else. I began to work myself and I put a lot of effort into my craft. We ended the season with being the state champions which was a great accomplishment. Junior year, I was doing well but I was losing that drive. I had to prove others wrong. I noticed when the gun went “BOOM!”, I wasn’t exploding out of the blocks as I did the year prior. I was dropping times but I wasn’t reaching my goals. I was burning out. I was losing my purpose for why I loved the sport in the first place. I introduced so much harm and hurt into the sport that I only made every practice a living hell for myself. It was as if I was punishing myself for something that was no longer in my control. It was hard for me to grasp the concept that I was losing love for the sport and I was still trying to please other people. I then realized that it was profusely bleeding into my school work, my friendships, and other relationships. I learned that life is your own and you have to romanticize your life. I only have one life to live and I can’t determine the rest of my life based on one mistake I made. I am still young and have so much to live for. The situation appears larger than it is because that’s the small piece of the world that I’ve been introduced to. Now, in my senior year, I’ve decided to take a break from track and field. I want to work on myself mentally and emotionally. The rings of the texts and calls from coaches make it hard to take a mental break. But, I am learning discipline and learning that my mental health is much more than being a people pleaser. This year of 2020 has taught me a lot of things, but the main thing it’s taught me is that I have to do a self-check. I start by asking myself, “How do I feel today?” “Have I gotten enough sleep?” “Have I consumed enough water or eaten enough?” It’s the simple things that I forget to do that are going to be needed to live the rest of my life comfortably. Self-care is so important when entering college. This is essential in learning how to manage time correctly and learning balance within life. That is the most important thing that I have learned from this year alone.

My name is Imani Warner. I grew up on a campus called Glenwood Academy where I was surrounded by my closes friends and hundreds of other kids. I live with my two parents, my twin sister, my little sister, and my older brother. I was always surrounded by a school environment. Since I began attending school, I was always top of my class and valued school. I've been an A and B student throughout my whole school career. Eventually, I ended up moving to Hazel Crest after third grade and had to meet all new friends. My mom and dad were finding new jobs and were trying to get used to a smaller house with just my siblings and me. Before, we were living in the house with 14 other boys because my parents were houseparents on the campus. It took some serious adjustments, but we made it work. As time went on, we started to experience financial struggles as my mother wasn't doing real estate as much because she was pursuing her business called GoGoVie, a baby carrier. My dad had to be the main source of income and that put a strain on our family. Dealing with four children and more bills because we were now living in a real home with usual home living expenses. My grandma also moved in with us, so that was another mouth to feed. Eventually, my dad also lost his job. Things were getting tight around the house and every penny was accounted for when money was spent. In the seventh grade, my twin sister and I began to teach ourselves how to braid hair. We began to promote our services and began to make money to take some of the weight off of our parents for small expenses like going to the movies, buying clothes and shoes, and other outside school activities. Freshman year in high school, my twin sister and I began to start working at a black-owned business called Ruby's Soul Food Restaurant. We have been working there ever since. We have been balancing work, school, track and field, and our social lives. As a senior, my brother is now a sophomore in college and hasn't had to use any loans due to scholarships. I am inspired by him and want to be the same way. My family still doesn't have it easy because my mom is still trying to get her business off the ground and my dad has been teaching from home and is still the main source of income for this family. During the pandemic, my godbrother also had to move in. There are many of us in this house and there isn't a lot of money coming in. My twin sister and I have to go to college in a couple of months and need to get as much scholarship money as we can acquire because there are two of us. In college, I am planning on majoring in psychology. In the future, I am planning on becoming a sports psychologist or an industrial-organizational psychologist. I love both fields. I love the sports psychology aspect because I run track and field and understand the psychological impact it has on a student-athlete. I am also interested in industrial-organizational psychology because I've been in the workforce for a while. I am looking to use the money to get me through school because psychology isn't a field where you can get a job right away. Being debt-free will help me start my career with less stress from student loans and focus my attention on my career.

Rain, storming, dark night. The main three things I remember from the movie playing in the background, yet the main focal point. I lie there with my eyes stuck open...wondering how I ended up here and wondering how I could've said "No". A moment like this is something you'll never forget and you'll drown in for a long time. A moment like this results in blaming yourself for eternity. A moment like this you'll find yourself neglecting your own biological needs. Sexual assault is something so common amongst women of all ages. After the event, I blamed myself for a long time. I still find it hard not to. Going to therapy and talking about it from time to time would make me feel like it was dumb. It started to make me question the situation and made me convince myself that it either didn't happen or that I was overreacting. The biggest thing I learned throughout this whole experience was that trauma doesn't define me or who I am as a person. I don't need to define myself as a victim but as a survivor. I made it out of a tough situation when in those moments I thought I was taking my last breath. It's important to get reassurance and reach out to people that can help you. You can't always do everything on your own. You can't always be the "strong black woman" you're made out to be by society. We have issues too. All women have these issues. Many people won't believe you, but it's important that you believe yourself first and foremost. I learned that if you don't accept the trauma for what it was and accept yourself for who you were in that exact moment, you will never truly heal from the trauma. Many nights I would go over the situation in my head and thinking of all the ways I could've fought and done something at each moment. The fact of the matter is that you didn't and you truly couldn't in that exact moment because you were afraid and your body may be frozen in time. You didn't know how you would react, but now it's too late. As a person, this experience has made me stronger. This experience has helped me realize how little young men are educated on how to conduct a sexual encounter. It has shown me how to carry myself and hold myself to a higher standard. Many times I would find myself in a bad situation, it was because I had a low standard of how people should conduct themselves around me. It taught me boundaries and self-assertion. That's so important when becoming a young woman and going off to college. You need the skills, the social skills, to be able to recognize when you're not meant to be somewhere. It has helped me to learn to read the room and accept it for what it is. Learning how to not hold others to higher standards and seeing them for what they could be instead of who they are is one of my biggest issues. I learned to just accept what people show you the first time. Notice the red flags and accept them for what they are and stop justifying the mediocrity before your very eyes. I learned to live a better life and stop letting the past hold me hostage of the blessings I have yet to receive in the near future.

Growing up I would often dream of being a doctor. I always pictured helping people and saving lives. As I got older, I realized that you don't need to specifically be a doctor to help people. Not only do people need help with their physical body, but they also need help with their minds. This is the moment I realized I wanted to be a psychologist. All throughout school I've been a mostly A student with few B's. Schoolwork has always come easy to me since I was young up until now. It has become more challenging over the years, especially now because I'm taking AP Psychology. In my wildest dream, I see myself being a sports psychologist and opening my own practice. I want to work with professional athletes. I see myself producing generational wealth and a large organization towards helping athletes that struggle with mental health. I have a passion for this job because I love psychology and I am also a varsity athlete in track and field. I have experienced the struggles of balancing school, sports, a job, and my social life. It definitely isn't the easiest thing to balance. Having so many people expecting from you can be very taxing on the mind and body. Since I have experienced these hardships first-hand, I would be a perfect candidate for this career. I want to raise awareness amongst athletes that may suffer anxiety or depression, along with other mental health issues. Raising awareness will make it more comfortable for more athletes to come forward about their issues. One athlete at a time can change the game for years and years to come. I'm excited to see how far I can go with this career and how many people I can help in the future. In the past couple of years, running track and field has been the perfect opportunity to help my teammates with their mental blocks and struggles. Many times before a meet, one of my teammates would be having extreme anxiety and I would be there to encourage her and to remind her how great she is. I would also break down the race for her and make it seem easier to tackle by giving advice at each point in the race.

Growing up I would often dream of being a doctor. I always pictured helping people and saving lives. As I got older, I realized that you don't need to specifically be a doctor to help people. Not only do people need help with their physical body, but they also need help with their minds. This is the moment I realized I wanted to be a psychologist. All throughout school I've been a mostly A student with few B's. Schoolwork has always come easy to me since I was young up until now. It has become more challenging over the years, especially now because I'm taking AP Psychology. In my wildest dream, I see myself being a sports psychologist and opening my own practice. I want to work with professional athletes. I see myself producing generational wealth and a large organization towards helping athletes that struggle with mental health. I have a passion for this job because I love psychology and I am also a varsity athlete in track and field. I have experienced the struggles of balancing school, sports, a job, and my social life. It definitely isn't the easiest thing to balance. Having so many people expecting from you can be very taxing on the mind and body. Since I have experienced these hardships first-hand, I would be a perfect candidate for this career. I want to raise awareness amongst athletes that may suffer anxiety or depression, along with other mental health issues. Raising awareness will make it more comfortable for more athletes to come forward about their issues. One athlete at a time can change the game for years and years to come. I'm excited to see how far I can go with this career and how many people I can help in the future.

Finding My Purpose “Go, Imani! There you go!” is the main phrase I would hear from my mom at every track meet starting in Parker Junior High middle school. My mom, along with my teammates, coaches, and other bystanders, would cheer for me as I ran. The feeling of success and happiness rushed through my veins after each race. It was a high of dopamine that only lasted for a little while. I feel each deep but quick breath enter in through my nose and out through my mouth to regulate my breathing. All of a sudden, I felt pain in my lower leg. It was a very sharp and deep pain called shin splints. The constant pulsing pain was at the forefront of my mind but didn’t stop me from going to practice the next day. That’s how I lived every day. I never took breaks because I was always focusing on my teammates and the name I had to withhold. I never once sat back and self-evaluated to figure out what was best for my mental and physical health. Once I reached Homewood-Flossmoor Community High School, I decided to continue my track and field career. My whole freshman year, I excelled in academics but stopped taking track and field seriously due to being distracted. Entering my sophomore year, I decided to take track and field more seriously. My shins were finally healed. In the first week of time trials, I injured my left groin. It was a struggle to finally be healed and starting a new season to go back to being hurt. Once again, I ignored it as much as I could because I still knew I needed to complete my first season of high school track and field. My coaches began to dedicate more time to me to help me reach my goals. I was so passionate about the sport and what I brought to the table. My first reason for joining track and field was because I grew up on sports and always loved being active. After some traumatic experiences during my freshman year, the reason I ran track became entirely different. I stopped doing it because I loved it, I started doing it to prove myself to everyone else. I began to work myself and I put a lot of effort into my craft. We ended the season with being the state champions which was a great accomplishment. Junior year, I was doing well but I was losing that drive. I had to prove others wrong. I noticed when the gun went “BOOM!”, I wasn’t exploding out of the blocks as I did the year prior. I was dropping times but I wasn’t reaching my goals. I was burning out. I was losing my purpose for why I loved the sport in the first place. I introduced so much harm and hurt into the sport that I only made every practice a living hell for myself. It was as if I was punishing myself for something that was no longer in my control. It was hard for me to grasp the concept that I was losing love for the sport and I was still trying to please other people. I then realized that it was profusely bleeding into my school work, my friendships, and other relationships. I learned that life is your own and you have to romanticize your life. I only have one life to live and I can’t determine the rest of my life based on one mistake I made. I am still young and have so much to live for. The situation appears larger than it is because that’s the small piece of the world that I’ve been introduced to. Now, in my senior year, I’ve decided to take a break from track and field. I want to work on myself mentally and emotionally. The rings of the texts and calls from coaches make it hard to take a mental break. But, I am learning discipline and learning that my mental health is much more than being a people pleaser. This year of 2020 has taught me a lot of things, but the main thing it’s taught me is that I have to do a self-check. I start by asking myself, “How do I feel today?” “Have I gotten enough sleep?” “Have I consumed enough water or eaten enough?” It’s the simple things that I forget to do that are going to be needed to live the rest of my life comfortably. Self-care is so important when entering college. This is essential in learning how to manage time correctly and learning balance within life. That is the most important thing that I have learned from this year alone. This is what has also brought me to my career choice. I aspire to be a sports psychologist. I feel like that does lie within the medical field because it is dealing with the brain but the social-emotional aspect of it. I love talking to my teammates and helping them when they hit hard times and stop believing in themselves. Everybody needs someone to encourage them and help them realize who they are and what they’re capable of. Someone was that person to me and now I will be that person to many more.

Being an American is always something that glorified by people who live in different countries. The main question is why do they think America is so much better? The answer to that is that America is the land of opportunity. It’s filled with so many jobs and there’s many different cultures. This country is so diverse and accepting of change and growth. For instance, there were many movements last year for people expressing their sexuality and gender. The world came together and many people accepted them for who they are and will continue to be. America is about being unapologetically you and figuring out who you are as a human being. With there being more acceptance, people are less likely to hide behind a secret identity and not being themselves. The world is becoming a better place because people are able to be themselves so that can help lower levels of depression and anxiety among young people especially. Personally, I’ve been seeing my own friends thrive because they’re finally came out as who they truly are and they’re much happier living in their truth. America means endless job opportunities. There’s many opportunities for anyone to make something of themselves. Many fields such as sports psychology and other fields are rising in the economy. With social media being bigger than it ever was due to the pandemic, people are being more open about their issues and more willing to come to therapy than in the past. In general, there are plenty more labor jobs opening as companies are expanding across the country. Another side of America is slavery and oppression. African Americans suffer daily from racism and being mistreated by other races, including their own. America was created for the white man to succeed and for the black man to always get the short end of the stick. Over time, the black man has learned to overcome and build our own establishments and become successful and intelligent. Black people have shown resilience and power through all hardships, trials, and tribulations. So, what does being American mean to me? Being an American means to be successful in your own way. Figure out who you are and what you want to be in this country. Also, think about how you can personally make an impact in this country and in others across the world. Being an American means being resilient and taking risks so that the next generation can have it easier because it’s a tough world.

Finding My Purpose “Go, Imani! There you go!” is the main phrase I would hear from my mom at every track meet starting in Parker Junior High middle school. My mom, along with my teammates, coaches, and other bystanders, would cheer for me as I ran. The feeling of success and happiness rushed through my veins after each race. It was a high of dopamine that only lasted for a little while. I feel each deep but quick breath enter in through my nose and out through my mouth to regulate my breathing. All of a sudden, I felt pain in my lower leg. It was a very sharp and deep pain called shin splints. The constant pulsing pain was at the forefront of my mind but didn’t stop me from going to practice the next day. That’s how I lived every day. I never took breaks because I was always focusing on my teammates and the name I had to withhold. I never once sat back and self-evaluated to figure out what was best for my mental and physical health. Once I reached Homewood-Flossmoor Community High School, I decided to continue my track and field career. My whole freshman year, I excelled in academics but stopped taking track and field seriously due to being distracted. Entering my sophomore year, I decided to take track and field more seriously. My shins were finally healed. In the first week of time trials, I injured my left groin. It was a struggle to finally be healed and starting a new season to go back to being hurt. Once again, I ignored it as much as I could because I still knew I needed to complete my first season of high school track and field. My coaches began to dedicate more time to me to help me reach my goals. I was so passionate about the sport and what I brought to the table. My first reason for joining track and field was because I grew up on sports and always loved being active. After some traumatic experiences during my freshman year, the reason I ran track became entirely different. I stopped doing it because I loved it, I started doing it to prove myself to everyone else. I began to work myself and I put a lot of effort into my craft. We ended the season with being the state champions which was a great accomplishment. Junior year, I was doing well but I was losing that drive. I had to prove others wrong. I noticed when the gun went “BOOM!”, I wasn’t exploding out of the blocks as I did the year prior. I was dropping times but I wasn’t reaching my goals. I was burning out. I was losing my purpose for why I loved the sport in the first place. I introduced so much harm and hurt into the sport that I only made every practice a living hell for myself. It was as if I was punishing myself for something that was no longer in my control. It was hard for me to grasp the concept that I was losing love for the sport and I was still trying to please other people. I then realized that it was profusely bleeding into my school work, my friendships, and other relationships. I learned that life is your own and you have to romanticize your life. I only have one life to live and I can’t determine the rest of my life based on one mistake I made. I am still young and have so much to live for. The situation appears larger than it is because that’s the small piece of the world that I’ve been introduced to. Now, in my senior year, I’ve decided to take a break from track and field. I want to work on myself mentally and emotionally. The rings of the texts and calls from coaches make it hard to take a mental break. But, I am learning discipline and learning that my mental health is much more than being a people pleaser. This year of 2020 has taught me a lot of things, but the main thing it’s taught me is that I have to do a self-check. I start by asking myself, “How do I feel today?” “Have I gotten enough sleep?” “Have I consumed enough water or eaten enough?” It’s the simple things that I forget to do that are going to be needed to live the rest of my life comfortably. Self-care is so important when entering college. This is essential in learning how to manage time correctly and learning balance within life. That is the most important thing that I have learned from this year alone.

Finding My Purpose “Go, Imani! There you go!” is the main phrase I would hear from my mom at every track meet starting in Parker Junior High middle school. My mom, along with my teammates, coaches, and other bystanders, would cheer for me as I ran. The feeling of success and happiness rushed through my veins after each race. It was a high of dopamine that only lasted for a little while. I feel each deep but quick breath enter in through my nose and out through my mouth to regulate my breathing. All of a sudden, I felt pain in my lower leg. It was a very sharp and deep pain called shin splints. The constant pulsing pain was at the forefront of my mind but didn’t stop me from going to practice the next day. That’s how I lived every day. I never took breaks because I was always focusing on my teammates and the name I had to withhold. I never once sat back and self-evaluated to figure out what was best for my mental and physical health. Once I reached Homewood-Flossmoor Community High School, I decided to continue my track and field career. My whole freshman year, I excelled in academics but stopped taking track and field seriously due to being distracted. Entering my sophomore year, I decided to take track and field more seriously. My shins were finally healed. In the first week of time trials, I injured my left groin. It was a struggle to finally be healed and starting a new season to go back to being hurt. Once again, I ignored it as much as I could because I still knew I needed to complete my first season of high school track and field. My coaches began to dedicate more time to me to help me reach my goals. I was so passionate about the sport and what I brought to the table. My first reason for joining track and field was because I grew up on sports and always loved being active. After some traumatic experiences during my freshman year, the reason I ran track became entirely different. I stopped doing it because I loved it, I started doing it to prove myself to everyone else. I began to work myself and I put a lot of effort into my craft. We ended the season with being the state champions which was a great accomplishment. Junior year, I was doing well but I was losing that drive. I had to prove others wrong. I noticed when the gun went “BOOM!”, I wasn’t exploding out of the blocks as I did the year prior. I was dropping times but I wasn’t reaching my goals. I was burning out. I was losing my purpose for why I loved the sport in the first place. I introduced so much harm and hurt into the sport that I only made every practice a living hell for myself. It was as if I was punishing myself for something that was no longer in my control. It was hard for me to grasp the concept that I was losing love for the sport and I was still trying to please other people. I then realized that it was profusely bleeding into my school work, my friendships, and other relationships. I learned that life is your own and you have to romanticize your life. I only have one life to live and I can’t determine the rest of my life based on one mistake I made. I am still young and have so much to live for. The situation appears larger than it is because that’s the small piece of the world that I’ve been introduced to. Now, in my senior year, I’ve decided to take a break from track and field. I want to work on myself mentally and emotionally. The rings of the texts and calls from coaches make it hard to take a mental break. But, I am learning discipline and learning that my mental health is much more than being a people pleaser. This year of 2020 has taught me a lot of things, but the main thing it’s taught me is that I have to do a self-check. I start by asking myself, “How do I feel today?” “Have I gotten enough sleep?” “Have I consumed enough water or eaten enough?” It’s the simple things that I forget to do that are going to be needed to live the rest of my life comfortably. Self-care is so important when entering college. This is essential in learning how to manage time correctly and learning balance within life. That is the most important thing that I have learned from this year alone. In the future, I hope to open my own practice with sports psychology. From this personal experience, I feel like I will do an excellent job on giving advice and being able to relate to the athletes on a personal level.

Growing up I would often dream of being a doctor. I always pictured helping people and saving lives. As I got older, I realized that you don't need to specifically be a doctor to help people. Not only do people need help with their physical body, but they also need help with their minds. This is the moment I realized I wanted to be a psychologist. All throughout school I've been a mostly A student with few B's. Schoolwork has always come easy to me since I was young up until now. It has become more challenging over the years, especially now because I'm taking AP Psychology. In my wildest dream, I see myself being a sports psychologist and opening my own practice. I want to work with professional athletes. I see myself producing generational wealth and a large organization towards helping athletes that struggle with mental health. I have a passion for this job because I love psychology and I am also a varsity athlete in track and field. I have experienced the struggles of balancing school, sports, a job, and my social life. It definitely isn't the easiest thing to balance. Having so many people expecting from you can be very taxing on the mind and body. Since I have experienced these hardships first-hand, I would be a perfect candidate for this career. I want to raise awareness amongst athletes that may suffer anxiety or depression, along with other mental health issues. Raising awareness will make it more comfortable for more athletes to come forward about their issues. One athlete at a time can change the game for years and years to come. I'm excited to see how far I can go with this career and how many people I can help in the future.

“Go, Imani! There you go!” is the main phrase I would hear from my mom at every track meet starting in Parker Junior High middle school. My mom, along with my teammates, coaches, and other bystanders, would cheer for me as I ran. The feeling of success and happiness rushed through my veins after each race. It was a high of dopamine that only lasted for a little while. I feel each deep but quick breath enter in through my nose and out through my mouth to regulate my breathing. All of a sudden, I felt pain in my lower leg. It was a very sharp and deep pain called shin splints. The constant pulsing pain was at the forefront of my mind but didn’t stop me from going to practice the next day. That’s how I lived every day. I never took breaks because I was always focusing on my teammates and the name I had to withhold. I never once sat back and self-evaluated to figure out what was best for my mental and physical health. Once I reached Homewood-Flossmoor Community High School, I decided to continue my track and field career. My whole freshman year, I excelled in academics but stopped taking track and field seriously due to being distracted. Entering my sophomore year, I decided to take track and field more seriously. My shins were finally healed. In the first week of time trials, I injured my left groin. It was a struggle to finally be healed and starting a new season to go back to being hurt. Once again, I ignored it as much as I could because I knew I needed to complete my first season of track and field. My coaches began to dedicate more time to me to help me reach my goals. I was so passionate about the sport and what I brought to the table. My first reason for joining track and field was because I grew up on sports and always loved being active. After some traumatic experiences during my freshman year, the reason I ran track became entirely different. I stopped doing it because I loved it, I started doing it to prove myself to everyone else. I began to work myself and I put a lot of effort into my craft. We ended the season with being the state champions which was a great accomplishment. Junior year, I was doing well but I was losing that drive. I had to prove others wrong. I noticed when the gun went “BOOM!”, I wasn’t exploding out of the blocks as I did the year prior. I was dropping times but I wasn’t reaching my goals. I was burning out. I was losing my purpose for why I loved the sport in the first place. I associated negative connotations with the sport that I only made every practice a living hell for myself. It was as if I was punishing myself for something that was no longer in my control. It was hard for me to grasp the concept that I was losing love for the sport and I was still trying to please other people. I then realized that it was profusely bleeding into my school work, my friendships, and other relationships. I learned that life is your own and you have to romanticize your life. I only have one life to live and I can’t determine the rest of my life based on one mistake I made. I am still young and have so much to live for. The situation appears larger than it is because that’s the small piece of the world that I’ve been introduced to. Now, in my senior year, I’ve decided to take a break from track and field. I want to work on myself mentally and emotionally. The texts and calls from coaches make it hard to take a mental break. But, I am learning discipline and that my mental health is worth more than being a people pleaser. This year of 2020 has taught me a lot, but the main thing it’s taught me is that I have to do a self-check. I start by asking myself, “How do I feel today?” “Have I gotten enough sleep?” “Have I consumed enough water or eaten enough?” Self-care is so important when entering college. This is essential in learning how to manage time correctly and learning balance within life. That is the most important thing that I have learned from this year alone.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJtUSUSR/

The feeling of fireworks exploding in your brain occurs right as you put headphones to your ears. It can be the most calming thing after a long day or something that hypes you up for a night out in the city. Music can help you through the toughest times in your life. Listening to music saved my life at one point. Hearing it reassured me that everything was worth it and everything was going to be okay. The thing about music that I love is that everyone can perceive it differently and it can trigger something different in each individual. That’s why I love music so much. It can touch your spirit with the different vibrations and frequencies and help to align yourself mentally and emotionally.

Anxiety and depression can weigh down on you like you’re tied to an anchor underwater. These two mental illnesses or disorders can impair ones daily life. In my personal experience with anxiety and depression, it has impacted the love of my sport. I used to run track and field, but then I fell into depression and now have anxiety and doubts about rejoining the sport. I feel as if there’s not enough time and that I won’t be able to run for the school I want to run for. Alongside that, I doubt the love I still have for the sport. It’s disheartening that something I did everyday, I now have so little interest in now. Going through a roller coaster of emotions has made me more driven to help others battling anxiety and depression. Since I’ve been dealing with it throughout my high school career, I began to take a liking to psychology, specifically sports psychology. As of right now, I am taking AP Psychology. It is also my major for North Carolina A&T State University, which I intend to attend in the fall. After graduating college, I want to help student-athletes balance their lives socially, emotionally, and mentally. I want to go on and open my own practice one day. I am really passionate about helping others because I know there was a time where I wished there was someone who understood me. Many athletes are told to brush it off and it’s not that easy. We are held to such high expectations and our physical health is the focal point, not our mental health. I think it’s important to bring awareness to athletes mental health because we are more than the sport we play.