I went into computer science by accident. I wasn’t sure what to major in, but I had a small interest in the intersection of social media, recommender algorithms, and mental health. That led me to declare my thesis project on social media's negative effects on women's body image and self-perception. Next year, I plan to research these impacts and hope to publish an academic paper showing how social media affects girls like me. My generation was the first to grow up with social media. I remember downloading Instagram for the first time at twelve or thirteen years old. At first, it was fun, but as I got older, I started comparing myself more and more. My feed was full of photoshopped, filtered, and unrealistic images. It completely warped my perception of what a woman should look like, and by fifteen, I had developed an eating disorder. I’ve since recovered from an eating disorder and perfectionism, but social media has only gotten worse. Starkly realistic filters, AI-edited bodies, and airbrushed photos are everywhere. The rise of the Ozempic trend turned being skinny into a status symbol, and countless influencers spread unhealthy "tips" to young girls. Girls like me are shown that not having clear skin, being rail-thin, or wearing revealing clothing makes them unattractive. Social media is blurring the lines between real life and what is photo-shopped and filtered. After taking several recommender algorithm classes and developing an app of my own, I’ve realized that algorithms don’t just work on their own—someone builds them. Social media companies are actively choosing to push harmful content to young women because it keeps them engaged and generating profit. If they feel bad about themselves, they’ll spend more time online looking for validation or falling into toxic communities that reinforce unhealthy behaviors. I believe that with more research, experts in psychology and ethical computing could hold social media companies accountable. These platforms need to make sure their algorithms aren’t promoting dangerous, unhealthy, or unrealistic content. As more kids grow up glued to their phones, we have to ensure that these algorithms are ethical and age-appropriate and prioritize real human experiences over AI-generated and filtered perfection. I hope my education and research in computer science can continue shedding light on this issue. The mental health of young girls shouldn’t be sacrificed for engagement, and I want to use my skills to push for a safer, more ethical digital space.

I discovered my passion for computer science by accident. What started as a mistake turned into one of the best decisions of my life and opened doors for me to help thousands of others. Let me share how I got here. During my senior year of high school, I realized I didn’t want to pursue pre-med anymore. Volunteering at a clinic had shown me the reality of the field, and my intuition told me medicine wasn’t my path. But for someone who excelled in STEM and had always said, “I’m going to be a doctor,” this realization left me stumped. What else could I study? Out of desperation, I turned to my brother, who was studying computer science. He suggested I try it, so I took his advice, declared it as my major, and sent my application to the University of Minnesota. At the time, I wasn’t sure what computer science entailed or why I wanted to study it, but it was a leap of faith. When I entered my first computer science class, I felt completely out of place. I was surrounded by classmates—mostly men—who had been coding for years. Meanwhile, I didn’t know the difference between coding languages, let alone how to use them. Despite my initial confusion, I pushed through. By the end of the semester, I had learned how to code—and I was hooked. To me, coding feels a lot like cooking. You gather your “ingredients,” like data structures and files, carefully combine and test them through debugging, and finally serve the polished product. Well-written, intricate code that works seamlessly feels as rewarding as creating a gourmet dish. It’s that sense of pride and accomplishment that keeps me coming back for more. Since discovering my passion, I’ve been able to apply computer science outside the classroom. Last year, I co-founded ThoughtX, a next-generation podcasting platform. Podcasting is a powerful medium, but it’s an isolated experience. ThoughtX bridges that gap by creating communities around podcasts. Through discussion forums, friend recommendations, and AI-powered tools, we aim to connect like-minded listeners and foster real friendships. This scholarship would allow me to further my computer science education and become a better co-founder. My goal is to make ThoughtX an accessible app where people find meaningful connections—putting the “social” back into social media. With this opportunity, I hope to use my skills to positively impact thousands of lives and prove that sometimes, the best decisions are happy accidents.

Like most immigrants, my parents are the most hardworking people I know. They can repeat their story of building a life in America thousands of times, and I will never grow tired of it. Their dedication and ambition are woven into my DNA. My mom came to America as a teenager with her family. She attended college during the day and studied English at night. She often tells me that reading one page of her textbook took an entire hour because she had to translate every single word. My dad, still in Russia at the time, began studying mathematics at university. His family struggled financially, so he attended classes during the day and worked all night as a security guard. Despite these challenges, he found a silver lining: access to the university’s computer laboratory. During this time, email had just been created, and it became the bridge that connected my parents. They started writing to each other, and eventually, my dad decided to leave everything behind to start a life in America with my mom. When my parents arrived in America as a married couple, they had barely enough money to rent an apartment. My mom immediately started working, and my dad went back to college. Foreign degrees can be tricky like that—you can graduate with a strong qualification in one country and find it unrecognized in another. Along with pursuing his education, my dad worked tirelessly to learn English and took on side jobs to support my mom. Eventually, my dad graduated and secured a more stable job. After my siblings and I were born, my mom resumed working and even took an evening job teaching accounting. I remember being the first child dropped off at daycare in the morning and the last one picked up in the evening. At the time, I resented it. Why weren’t my parents around like other parents? But as I grew older, I understood. My parents weren’t like other parents because they didn’t have the luxury of family support or financial safety nets. They worked tirelessly to achieve the American Dream, despite facing discrimination and starting with nothing. Their dedication and hustle have profoundly shaped me. I am currently an honors student at the University of Minnesota, majoring in computer science with double minors in entrepreneurship and statistics. I run a podcast and a startup. I also hold two part-time jobs to ensure I can pay my way through college and avoid burdening my parents. Everything I do is a reflection of their sacrifices. I work hard not just for myself but to make them proud. They gave up everything to build a better future for our family, and I am committed to giving back to them tenfold.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been dedicated to self-improvement. I set goals, worked hard, ate healthy, saved money, exercised, and constantly sought ways to better myself. But the self-improvement community can be extreme, often promoting unrealistic standards and rigid routines. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed. That’s why I started my podcast, "Leveling Up With Lana." For over two years, this podcast has been my passion. I cover topics like building sustainable workout routines, managing finances wisely, creating organizational habits, and improving mental health. Between planning, recording, editing, marketing, and responding to listeners, podcasting is no easy task—especially since I don’t earn money from it. But hearing from thousands of listeners who say my podcast helps them live healthier, happier lives motivates me to keep going. The idea for the podcast came during one of the hardest times in my life. I was battling an eating disorder, which stemmed from an obsession with extreme self-improvement advice. Online, I saw people waking up at 4 AM, meticulously planning every minute of their day, and following extreme diets and workout routines—all in the name of “becoming their best selves.” I thought I had to do the same to succeed. At first, I believed I was doing everything right. I woke up at 5 AM, exercised daily, ate “clean,” and read all the books. But I was miserable and burned out. My self-worth became tied to my productivity, my Google Calendar, and the food I ate. I didn’t allow myself to relax, spend time with friends, or even enjoy a cookie. Everything I thought was improving me was actually harming me. Slowly, I began to change. I embraced balance, learned to schedule with flexibility, pursued goals without obsessing over perfection, and allowed myself to enjoy life. I realized that the self-improvement community often pushes extremes, but true growth comes from finding a sustainable, healthy approach. As I worked on my recovery, I started sharing my journey and tips through my podcast. I wanted to be a voice of reason in a space that often prioritizes extremes over balance. "Leveling Up With Lana" focuses on achieving goals while staying happy and healthy. My audience has responded with overwhelming support. Listeners tell me my advice has helped them recover from eating disorders, build healthier habits, and achieve their goals without burning out. Many say it’s the only self-improvement podcast that doesn’t make them feel bad about themselves. This feedback drives my passion for helping others. I’ve made it my purpose to encourage people to improve their lives in a way that is balanced, effective, and joyful. Self-improvement should enhance your life—not take over it.

"Just eat more," my family said, right after I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. That one phrase led to my eating disorder coming back worse, in the midst of me using every bit of my energy to simply recover. I was always a happy and healthy kid. Nothing other than the typical teenage drama was on my mind as I entered 2020. 2020 was going to be MY year. Until it wasn't. COVID-19 quarantine took a very large mental toll on everyone- including myself. I felt out of control, so I controlled the only thing left- my body. First I started working out. Then, counting calories. My family started noticing me becoming quiet, losing my light, and barely cracking a smile. They just thought that I was being the typical "hormonal teen girl." They would never guess that my smile was gone because I had no energy left- no calories left- to simply smile. I dropped twenty pounds within two months. Two years of being locked in a prison. It was not only a mental prison but also a physical one. I stopped growing- freezing myself in the body of a fourteen-year-old. Until the prison cracked. I was in the Dominican Republic for Christmas at a resort with my family. It was then my family realized that "eating more" was a serious struggle. Not only would I break down over everything I ate, but I would also wake up at five in the morning, to run for hours on the beach in the dark. I would swim until my lips turned blue and I was shivering, ribs shining in the hot sun. Then, I got COVID and I dropped even more weight. Coming back home after the vacation, I was in the worst shape of my life. My body retaliated, mental breakdowns happened daily, my heart was deathly slow, and I dealt with extreme hunger. I decided to tell my parents everything and ask for a therapist. Therapy was able to uncover the root cause of the eating disorder a very serious OCPD (obsessive-compulsive personality disorder). I love control. I love organization. I love perfection. This made the eating disorder possible. Through recovering, I learned that there are tools that make me feel good and not feel forced into taking control. A little more laughter, more mistakes, and trying something new, are all ways that I try to train myself that life is not meant for perfection and control. Life is meant for living. Throughout this journey, I was posting on my social media account. I wanted to make my account a safe space for people with eating disorders to come and talk about their struggles and commitments to recovering. Eating disorders are, unfortunately, still such a taboo topic in our society and I wanted to fix that. Through my social media platforms, I have had videos go viral, bringing in millions of views. These videos destigmatize eating disorders and mental health issues. They make people motivated to open up, talk about it, and heal together. The impact I have had on hundreds of girls and guys, messaging me and saying how my podcast or social media account helped them recover, helped them heal, helped them become the best versions of themselves, makes my terrible journey worth it. It was all worth it in the end. All the tears, all the pain, all of the things I learned about myself. It was worth it, even to help one other person.

From the outside, my life looked perfect. Straight A’s, triple-enrolled in three colleges as a high school senior, go to the gym at 5 AM, able to juggle school and work. Under all of this were a lot of mental health issues. COVID-19 was a difficult time for me. Like everyone else, I dealt with a lot of changes in a short amount of time. The issue was that I had undiagnosed OCPD which spiraled into a very severe eating disorder- anorexia. I lost twenty pounds within two months and was quite literally skin and bones. My grades, however, were still incredible. I was still being productive, and I was still involved in all of my activities. That was the mask that got people to believe that I was ok. They would look past the fact that I was ninety pounds. They just looked at the numbers. This was hauntingly similar to the fact that I looked at the scale and measured my worth to a number. Eating disorders are still a taboo topic within our world, so talking about it, especially in a family of immigrants, was unheard of. It was not until a family trip last Christmas that my parents realized that something was wrong. I would run at the crack of dawn, feet pounding on the dark sandy beach all alone. Panic attacks would leave me covered in hives at the thought of eating something. Ribs shining in the hot sun, as I wore a bathing suit fit for a twelve-year-old. I was seventeen. Anorexia nearly killed me. Until I decided to break the taboo, talk about it to my family, and start a social media account that promotes healing and a healthy, non-restrictive lifestyle. From December to now, I have gained over thirty pounds. I was able to finish developing and growing. No twelve yeard old clothes for me! One of my social media videos went viral, gaining over 1.3 million views. Thousands of girls and guys commented, talking about how the pandemic started or worsened their eating disorders. Other comments, lifted people up and convinced them to keep recovering. To keep healing. One of the biggest questions that I had was how come no one mentioned that I was dealing with anorexia earlier. The medical systems that are used in clinics and hospitals are very unrefined and confusing. Different doctors and providers cannot see each other’s notes and charts. Simply asking for an x-ray or notes from one clinic to another takes weeks. That was one of the biggest reasons why my doctors did not realize there was a problem faster. Not to mention the racial and gender stereotypes that come with some doctors! I want to receive a master's degree in Computer/Data Science. With that, I want to create a company that optimizes medical field databases, making them safer and easier for patients and doctors. From hospitals to small clinics, I want my medical data service to be easily learned, very secure, and the perfect optimizer to not only help medical professionals do their job but to get patients better faster and not only be determined by a number.

After COVID-19, I was eager to go back to school. I was already a junior by then and it was time to go from member to leader in the clubs and organizations I was part of. One of the newer clubs, Letters of Love, was frantically looking for a new vice president. They seemed like an interesting club, so on a whim, I agreed. That was one of the best decisions of my high school career. Letters of Love is an international non-profit organization that started at our rival high school. A high schooler used the grief she felt after losing her mother to cancer, to make an impact. The point of the club is to make letters, gift baskets, and even blankets for kids going through cancer, other physical/mental illnesses, or war. Letters of Love grew very slowly for the first years and our high school was one of the first "branches" of the non-profit. After COVID-19, our school's branch needed a vice president and I agreed, thinking nothing of it. The impact I made changed my life. By the first board meeting, I realized that I did not receive the title of vice president by accident. The then-current president knew how hard I worked at other clubs and how passionate I was about making a big impact. I was ready to work and work we did. From making meetings, writing cards, organizing, cleaning, and outreach, we were able to grow the Letters of Love Club from a handful of people to over one hundred. (Keep in mind that that is over 10% of our entire school population!) Dropping off cards and blankets to nearby hospitals, we were able to briefly see the gratitude in the nurses' eyes. Everyone on the board was so passionate about making a large impact that it was contagious. With last year coming to a close, we knew we needed to be even better for our senior year. The entire board of directors I currently work with are absolutely incredible. We are able to plan fundraising events, sort cards, drive to nearby hospitals, and convince colleges to instill their own Letters of Love clubs. To have such a big impact on others means the world to all of us. This year, in particular, we struggled with funding. Luckily, all of us found ways to boldly ask for sponsors and fundraising opportunities. We were able to partner with Crumble cookies twice for a fundraiser, money that was then used to make over fifty tie blankets and hundreds of cards for the holiday season. There are only six months left of my Letters of Love vice presidency at my high school, but I am already planning on attending my future college's club. If they don't have one, I will be glad to start something new and spread a little more love to those who need it the most.

My dad told me from a young age, "never cheat Ilana, it always hurts you in the end." Did I listen to him? Of course not. I was always the "gifted and talented" child of the family. Sent off to more advanced classes, I grew up thinking everything would come quickly to me. I was wrong. It was middle school, and grades started actually to count. A through F. This letter showed your dedication and intelligence to school. Being the perfectionist, gifted, and stubborn child that I was, I decided I was going to get a 4.0 throughout my entire school career. And then, pre-algebra happened. I was placed in an advanced pre-algebra class. Too much time spent talking with friends, I realized that I really struggled to actually understand the material. I would always do my homework, but I would never try and challenge myself. This led to me cheating, for the first time. That year was fine for my other classes, I never cheated outside of math. But cheating is cheating, and I started to notice the consequences, even without being caught. The following year, in 6th grade, my confidence was gone. Imposter syndrome gets a whole lot worse when you are actually cheating on your math grade. I never retained any information from 5th grade and I remember getting a C on my first math test, which I did not cheat on. Looking at my grade book with tears dripping on the keyboard, I decided something had to change. I was going to, for the first time in my life, disregard the fact that I was "gifted" and work like I knew nothing. The following week, I had another math test. The grade that I received? A. Without cheating. I started to treat myself like I never understood the material and would go through countless practice problems. I would challenge myself with questions from the back of the textbook, the really hard ones that no one wanted to touch. I pretended to teach the problems to my stuffed animals, playing teacher and going through all of the steps to solving the math problems. 6th grade was a pivotal year for me as I dropped all cheating and focused on truly pushing myself in my studies. This desire to get better, specifically at math, without resorting to cheating continued. I had phenomenal math teachers throughout 7th and 8th grade, and I was excited to challenge myself in new ways. Even when COVID hit and it was easier than ever to cheat, I did not cheat. Even though I never was caught, cheating for me had personal consequences for me. I wanted to understand the material, as I knew it would come back again throughout high school and college. I wanted confidence in my abilities to get good grades, and have great study strategies. Now, as a high school senior who is also enrolled, through a Minnesota dual-enroll college program called PSEO, I take all of my classes at the University of Minnesota. I still maintained my promise to have a 4.0 GPA, but I work harder than ever to get there. I have developed a study strategy over the years that works and gives me the confidence I need to be excellent in and outside of the classroom. Outside of the classroom, this confidence to work hard and achieve something led to me competing at national speech tournaments, being a better friend, and leading countless nonprofits and organizations. I hate to admit it but my dad was right. Don't cheat, it will always hurt you in the end.

Phones. We love them, we need them, and we rely on them. Phones make the world go round, all from the tap of a finger. Smartphones, in my mind, are one of the most useful and versatile inventions. We use our phones for almost everything. Need to work out? Play something on a workout app. Want to take a photo? Just take one using one of the four cameras on your phone. Don't forget that there are filters and photoshop right on there too. Reply to a quick email or text? Just voice-text it. Our smartphones do more than just call, they truly do everything. Phones have given me the freedom and connection to be close to my family. Most of my family does not live in America. Rather, they are torn between Russia and Ukraine. With family on both sides of the horrible war that is going on, I go to bed in fear and wake up, checking the news. It is a blessing to be able to call them and make sure that everyone is ok. I use my phone to send funny videos and pictures to the rest of our family, hoping that even one picture lifts their spirits. I am terrified of the day when we may not be able to reach them any longer. Smartphones are the invention that brings people together. While some say that they limit human interaction, I personally believe that they ensure it. My family is around the world, in a war, and I am able to contact them. I am able to talk with them. I am able to send them my prayers and love. Smartphones and technology can be used for so much good. It can be used to bring people together. It can be used to give hope and comfort to people. Smartphones make the world a better place for my family and me. I personally believe that they make the world a better, more connected, place for everyone.

My entire life, I believed I would be a doctor. That was it. I never let myself explore other professions, until this past summer. I decided to shadow numerous medical professionals and even had a summer internship at a dental office. I realized that the medical profession was not for me and I was scrambling to redefine myself. During my clinical internship, I learned that I enjoyed optimization. The online system that our clinic used was so unrefined that it took me one month of training to understand it. Finding data and requesting notes and x-rays from other offices was difficult and time-consuming. I created shortcuts that not only helped the dental assistants and the dentist but also the patients. I never had any coding or technology classes in the past, but out of all places, a summer internship at a dental office sparked my interest. From there, I realized that it was not the dental clinic I worked at with this problem, but almost any clinic or hospital. All of the different medical platforms are so difficult to learn and it is hard to collaborate with other professionals. My life's mission is to create a secure database for medical information that is easy to understand, secure, and allows for collaboration between different professionals. This is why I am pursuing a double major in both computer and data science. Another one of my life's missions is destigmatizing mental health and making mental health issues easier to spot. After silently dealing with anorexia for two years, I was finally brought to a different doctor. The doctor looked at me, with eyes opened wide, and said "how come no one saw this earlier?" The issue was again, the databases. Different clinics and hospitals use different databases, making collaboration nearly impossible. My new general practitioner was not able to see charts from my pediatric doctor, thus, they had no idea that ninety pounds for me was abnormal. They did not see that my heart rate was normally not under 40 bpm. Their data systems were a mess. When it was time for me to recover from the eating disorder, my psychiatrist was giving me medication that would interfere with other medication I was on for a heart condition. My therapist would tell me one thing, and my doctor would tell me something else. It was frustrating to feel like I never had the right answer and my doctors were contradicting each other on how I should approach anorexia recovery. I quit seeing the doctors for a time and have fully recovered from the eating disorder as of this past summer. Making a new data system that is easily implemented anywhere would help fix this. It would make mental health professionals and doctors work side by side, to make sure that everyone is not only physically healthy but also mentally. No one would be overlooked, and stereotypes would be eliminated thanks to the collaboration and medical information sent from one place to another. So, I guess in a way I am still going to be a doctor. Instead of healing patients directly, I will be healing the current outdated medical systems. I want to promote collaboration and diversity by making my systems easy to use, learn, and share. I want to combine mental health professionals and regular doctors together. Technology can make the medical community healthier, more secure, and more effective. Technology can change medicine as we know it.

My entire life, I believed I would be a doctor. That was it. I never let myself explore other professions, until this past summer. I never was allowed to explore other professions. After a lot of convincing from my parents, I decided to job shadow numerous medical professionals and even had a summer internship at a dental office. I realized that the medical profession was not for me and I was scrambling to not redefine myself and find my future career. During my clinical internship, I learned that I enjoyed optimization. The online system that our clinic used was so unrefined that it took me one month of training to understand it. Finding data and requesting notes and x-rays from other offices was difficult and time-consuming. I created shortcuts that not only helped the dental assistants and the dentist but the patients and the receptionists. I never had any coding or technology classes in the past, but out of all places, a summer internship at a dental office sparked my interest. Since my junior year of high school, I have been exclusively taking college classes under a Minnesota dual-enroll program called PSEO. This program allows you to take college classes on or off campus. Your professor and classmates do not know you are a high schooler, and you can take whatever classes you would like. Unlike many students, after my change from a pre-med major to a double major in data science and computer science, I was completely immersed in new classes. I love my new classes that are more focused on math and learning how to code. I was able to try so many new things and realize that my passion lies within technology. High school never let me explore different passions, so I made it my mission to lead high school activities that would give other students that career exploration, even if I was taking a full college class load somewhere else. I created a club, Future Medical Professionals, for those students that are set on becoming medical professionals. While I may not be going into the medical field, I want to give any high school student in my community the opportunity to job shadow, intern, and find their true passion. Whether that is in nursing, surgery, biotechnology, or something not in the medical field at all. Bringing in guest speakers and connections that I had to find on my own, I let my high school club explore different professions. Currently, I am trying to make other professional clubs such as Future Technology Professionals and Future Teachers. The one thing that encouraged a science education for me was exploration. Shadowing, interning, different classes, and having the freedom to explore brought me to my true passion. While I am trying my best to give the same opportunities to other high school students, I would urge any middle or high school to allow freedom for that exploration. Give students clubs, give students the classes they want to take, and challenge them with guest speakers and professionals. Give students the opportunity to wander science, math, literature, business, history, and art. After all, is that not science? Science is asking questions, exploring, and finding the true answer. Science is freedom.

My entire life, I believed I would be a doctor. That was it. I never let myself explore other professions, until this past summer. I decided to job shadow numerous medical professionals and even had a summer internship at a dental office. I realized that the medical profession was not for me and I was scrambling to not only redefine myself but find out my passions and the kind of impact I wanted to make on the world. During my clinical internship, I learned that I enjoyed optimization The online system that our clinic used was so unrefined that it took me one month of training to understand it. Finding data and requesting notes and x-rays from other offices was difficult and time-consuming. I created shortcuts that not only helped the dental assistants and the dentist but the patients and the receptionists. I never had any coding or technology classes in the past, but out of all places, a summer internship at a dental office sparked my interest. From there, I realized that it was not the dental clinic I worked at with this problem, but almost any clinic or hospital. All of the different medical platforms are so difficult to learn and it is hard to collaborate with other professionals. My life's mission is to create a secure database for medical information that is easy to learn, secure, and allows for collaboration between different professionals. I am interested in looking at data systems within the medical field. Our entire world is becoming more reliant on technology and the systems should evolve, rather than stay stagnant. By double majoring in both data and computer science, I will be able to learn how to build these types of databases. I especially hope that I am able to learn outside of the classroom with jobs and internships. After, I want to create my own company and start building the data system of my dreams. Having medical professionals agree to a new database will be a challenge, but I believe that it will be a challenge I will tackle. I also want to reach out to minority communities that might not have the resources to instill new biotechnology and online platforms and provide them with the resources they need for free. Almost like a nonprofit. So, I guess in a way I am still going to be a doctor. Instead of healing patients directly, I will be healing the current outdated medical systems. I want to promote collaboration and diversity by making my systems easy to use, learn, and share. Technology can make the medical community healthier, more secure, and more effective. Technology can change medicine as we know it.

"Fur Elise" by Beethoven is not the most modern song. Yet, this song made me fall in love with the piano and has found its own way of tying into my life, no matter what season I am in. As a new intermediate pianist, I was just starting to get some more difficult songs from my piano teacher. Like almost all young pianists, I wanted to play the famous "Fur Elise." My piano teacher decided to give me the entire song, with all of the parts, to learn. It took me almost an entire year to learn that song, but by the time I was able to play all the parts, memorized, I was ready to perform. As a ten-year-old, I played the song beautifully, but there was a lack of depth and understanding that the different phrases of the song held. I had not gotten through enough of life to understand the mountains and valleys "Fur Elise" is supposed to paint. After my "Fur Elise" performance, I stopped playing the song and moved on to others. I was excited to play more and get better, thanks to "Fur Elise" This year, almost eight years later, I decided to replay it. After a brief month of relearning the song, I was able to connect with it on another level. I was able to show and express emotion within the measures of the song. From the comfortable and longing part A to the stressful and exciting part B, and brief reminder of part A, into a confusing part C, and finally back to part A, thing song really takes you through a journey. "Fur Elise" may not be a popular pop song, but it sparked my love for piano and now, has a deeper meaning to me.

My entire life, I was fully convinced I was going to be a doctor. As a junior in high school, I started a Minnesota program, called PSEO, that allows you to dual-enroll in colleges for free, earning both high school and college credit. I packed my schedule with science and math classes, completely set on completing a biochemistry pre-med major and applying to med school. Until I realized, I do not want to be a doctor. This year, during my senior year, I decided to take a statistics and programming course, along with organic chemistry and ecology. My brother, currently working towards a master's in computer science, told me just to try it. It was this semester I realized, I really enjoy data analysis and programming, even more than hard sciences. After job shadowing a few doctors and even a dental internship, just to make sure that I was not getting cold feet about the medical field, I decided that I was switching gears to a data science/computer science double major. Computer science is just like my beloved chemistry, just on a computer. Adding that to some data science and I am able to code and analyze large amounts of data. I am able to calculate things and make tests. Applying my love for science and math, computer/data science are the two fields that merge those interests together. Some of the classes I have planned for next semester, at the college level, are data analysis, intro to programming, and calculus II. My goal with computer/data science is to open my own company. I want to revolutionize the medical community by using a safe and seamless platform for transferring confidential medical documents, keeping medical histories, and saving financial information just in case the patient forgets. During my medical job shadowing and interning, I realized that all of the "medical online programs" are really very clunky databases that tend to have issues and take months to learn. I believe I will be able to find a more efficient way of storing all the information and keeping it secure for the patient but accessible for different doctors and nurses when the need arises. I believe that I am the best candidate for this scholarship because I am not your typical candidate. I did not know that I wanted to be a computer scientist since I was eight years old, I never enjoyed gaming or programming as a kid, but yet, I want to be a computer/data scientist. I am already working toward this double major by taking introductory classes at a college level, and I am still only a senior in high school. My classes are so interesting, and I enjoy learning more about programming, analysis, and statistics. I have big goals for the future on a path similar, but yet, so different than what I ever believed I could do.

Writing, for me, was the key to unlocking a prison that I was in for over two years. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa earlier this year. The emptiness in my stomach gave me comfort, the control gave me peace, and my bones protruding out, were just a sign of what I wanted- lost weight. The funny thing is that I never wanted to lose weight in the first place, it was just one of the ways that I was trying and failing to express my emotions. After my diagnosis, during my recovery, my therapist asked if there are any other ways that I am able to express emotion. After telling her "not unless you count working out," she told me to try journaling. Journaling is that thing that all wellness and mental health influencers talk about. Journaling is the way to magically calm yourself down and understand every single emotion. Journaling is the "cool" name for keeping a diary. At least that is what I thought. I decided to try journaling every single morning and night for a month. What those influencers do not tell you is that journaling is not always pretty; with a cup of tea and a little pastry next to you. Journaling is ugly, heavy, and tiring work. Writing your emotions out, being blatantly honest with yourself, explaining your frustrations and worries, and talking about the best and worst parts of your day- journaling is tough. Asking yourself journaling prompts that get you emotional, warm tears splatting on the lined page below you as you write your response, journaling was one of the biggest contributors to my healing. Journaling is a form of writing that might not be formal, but it is something you do for yourself. After my month of journaling was up, I decided that I wanted to keep going. Journaling helped to unpack emotions that I kept bottled up during anorexia, and helped to distinguish the difference between anorexic thoughts, and my actual thoughts. It is very powerful to read the difference in how I talked about myself in January, at the beginning of my eating disorder recovery to now. Back then, I was constantly talking down on myself, filled with sick thoughts. "I need to work harder," one journal entry said. "People want me fat. Maybe I could go back to anorexia, secretly," a different entry said. To now, "it is amazing that I am able to heal my relationship with food as I was able to enjoy a fun cupcake without the panic." My journal is still used daily to write my goals, thoughts, worries, and feelings. I like keeping track of how each day goes and being able to express my emotions through words. While I have healed from anorexia, I have learned a lot throughout the journey. Journaling and writing are one of the things that I have learned and will not let go of.

"Just eat more," my family said, right after I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. In the midst of me using every bit of my energy to simply recover, that one phrase led to my eating disorder coming back worse. It was January 2022, and I decided I did not want to get better. The emptiness in my stomach gave me comfort, the control gave me peace, and my bones protruding out, were just a sign of what I wanted- lost weight. I was always a happy and healthy kid, until quarantine. COVID-19 quarantine led to me developing severe anxiety, perfectionism, and burnout. To cope, I latched on to something to control: food. It first started with tracking calories. Then exercise. As the weight dropped, anorexia's voice became louder. Anorexia convinced me there was always something to improve, to perfect in me. Anorexia was a prison. Until the prison cracked. It was the fall of 2021, and after over a year of anorexia, my body had enough. I would come home from school and compulsively eat. Sometimes, thousands of calories in one sitting. Afterward, I would feel guilty and promise myself that “I won’t do it again.” I viewed food as the enemy and exercise as punishment. If I overate, I would not eat the next day, compensating by overexercising. Sometimes, I would sneak off and run for hours, sweat trickling down my sickly-pale face. The fall of 2021 was the prologue to the darkest time of my life. I was in the Dominican Republic for Christmas with my family. I would wake up at five in the morning, to run for hours on the beach in the dark, before my parents would wake. I would swim until my lips turned blue and I was shivering, ribs shining in the hot sun. By the end of January, I was 88 pounds, on the brink of physical collapse, and I thought I would die. Anorexia would kill me, mentally, physically, or both. Fearing for my life, my mom spent hours calling local clinics. We finally made an appointment. I was diagnosed with anorexia and was placed into outpatient treatment. From January 2022 to now, I have gained thirty pounds back to my healthy weight with the help of my mom and therapist. I quit running and picked up other forms of gentle exercise such as walking, pilates, and barre. I have gotten stronger, bolder, and more confident. I am very happy to say that I am ten months into anorexia recovery and my mind and body have almost healed! My experience with mental health forever will forever shape how I will view myself and others. With therapy, I uncovered my personality, my perfectionism, and how it is hard for me to be out of control. Through recovering, I have found a supportive online community of other young men and women, all trying to become the best versions of themselves! I created an Instagram, TikTok, and podcast to erase the stigma of eating disorders and give realistic wellness tips (@wellnesswlana). One of my videos, relating to eating disorders starting due to the pandemic, went viral. Gaining over 1.2 million views, the comments were filled with hundreds of accounts, opening up their mental health issues. Other comments gave advice and support for those struggling. It was incredibly humbling to see such a strong community, supporting each other. It also made me realize that I am not alone. We are not alone. It is healing to talk about mental health together. Through that, we can make the world a better, happier, and healthier place.

Science and math were always my favorite subjects. From algebra to calculus, biology to organic chemistry, I have done it all. Currently, I am a high school senior but also, a full-time PSEO student. PSEO is a Minnesota program that allows high school juniors and seniors to dual-enroll in a college for free and earn both high school and college credit. Your professors and classmates do not know you are a high schooler until you tell them. I enrolled in PSEO since I was craving that challenge of more difficult classes. I am working towards my data science major already and I have not even fully graduated high school. Data science, and science in general, is so important to society for many reasons. Science helps to explain how and why things work. Science takes a question and answers it as truthfully as possible in simple terms. There is very little subjectivity in science, and that is one of the reasons I love it so much. I decided to go into data science to be able to advance alongside technology. Our world is changing quickly. Data scientists are able to organize and analyze data and make it mean something. From the medical field to business, data is going to be ever-more prevalent in our society. We need all sorts of people in science to make, sort, analyze, and present the data. From chemists in the lab to data scientists like me, we are taking data and putting them in terms that anyone could understand. How and why things work is a question that I, as a young girl, was always asking. "Dad, why is the sky blue?" "Mom, why does nail polish remover dry up so fast?" "Teacher, how in the word did someone come up with the periodic table?" All of these questions and more were soon answered by science. In an advancing world, we need people to not only oberve how and why things work but be able to back their claims with data and evidence. It will be my part to play, as a data scientist to do that. One of the biggest problems with science, in my opinion, is that it is barricaded. Difficult language that many claim is "too difficult to explain" limit many students and even adults to exploring the wonderful world of science. Data science can change that. Data science takes data that is confusing and is able to, in a way, translate it so everyone can understand it. I believe the more we make science accessible and easy to understand, the more our world and our natural curiosity will expand. Finally, science is not subjective. With a world as polarized as today, we can see that almost everything can turn into an argument. Science in particular asks a question and answers it with (hopefully) no bias or ill-intention. Science keeps things black and white, a good refresher in such a polarized world.

"Just eat more," my family said, right after I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. In the midst of me using every bit of my energy to simply recover, that one phrase led to my eating disorder coming back worse. It was January 2022, and I decided I did not want to get better. The emptiness in my stomach gave me comfort, the control gave me peace, and my bones protruding out, were just a sign of what I wanted- lost weight. I was always a happy and healthy kid, until quarantine. COVID-19 quarantine led to me developing severe anxiety, perfectionism, and burnout. To cope, I latched on to something to control: food. It first started with tracking calories. Then exercise. As the weight dropped, anorexia's voice became louder. Anorexia convinced me there was always something to improve, to perfect in me. Anorexia was a prison. Until the prison cracked. It was the fall of 2021, and after over a year of anorexia, my body had enough. I would come home from school and compulsively eat. Sometimes, thousands of calories in one sitting. Afterward, I would feel guilty and promise myself that “I won’t do it again.” I viewed food as the enemy and exercise as punishment. If I overate, I would not eat the next day, compensating by overexercising. Sometimes, I would sneak off and run for hours, sweat trickling down my sickly-pale face. The fall of 2021 was the prologue to the darkest time of my life. I was in the Dominican Republic for Christmas with my family. I would wake up at five in the morning, to run for hours on the beach in the dark, before my parents would wake. I would swim until my lips turned blue and I was shivering, ribs shining in the hot sun. By the end of January, I was 88 pounds, on the brink of physical collapse, and I thought I would die. Anorexia would kill me, mentally, physically, or both. Fearing for my life, my mom spent hours calling local clinics. We finally made an appointment. I was diagnosed with anorexia and was placed into outpatient treatment. From January 2022 to now, I have gained thirty pounds back to my healthy weight with the help of my mom and therapist. I quit running and picked up other forms of gentle exercise such as walking, pilates, and barre. I have gotten stronger, bolder, and more confident. I am very happy to say that I am ten months into anorexia recovery and my mind and body have almost healed! My experience with mental health forever will forever shape how I will view myself and others. Through therapy, I uncovered my personality, my perfectionism, and how it is hard for me to be out of control. Through recovering, I have found a supportive online community of other young men and women, all trying to become the best versions of themselves! I created an Instagram, TikTok, and podcast to erase the stigma of eating disorders and give realistic wellness tips (@wellnesswlana). One of my videos, relating to eating disorders starting due to the pandemic, went viral. Gaining over 1.2 million views, the comments were filled with hundreds of accounts, opening up their mental health issues. Other comments gave advice and support for those struggling. It was incredibly humbling to see such a strong community, supporting each other. It also made me realize that I am not alone. We are not alone. It is healing to talk about mental health together. Through that, we can make the world a better, happier, and healthier place.

I have always loved school. Unlike the rest of my classmates, dragging their feet to the first class, I was excited and energized. School has always been a privilege for me to partake in, and I loved learning and becoming more knowledgeable every single day. Soon, I would crave that challenge that difficult classes would give me. In my sophomore year, during distance learning due to the pandemic, I convinced my school counselor to let me take AP Chemistry. I was the youngest student in that class, but I ended up surpassing everyone regarding my grades. Then, in my junior year, I decided to become a full-time PSEO student. I was taking a full load of college classes, on top of all the high school activities I was involved in. This year is my senior year of high school. I am also, still a PSEO student but have to balance my schedule to have enough time to focus on high school activities as well. In the future, I hope to go to college for my bachelor's and masters. I want to double major in chemistry and data science, and use any time off to intern at medical data analysis and science companies. This way, I would learn from the best in the field in hopes of creating my own company in the future for ethical medical data science storage. Luckily, my double major will allow me to change careers if I choose to continue with a different path in life. I simply want my education to be harnessed in a way that would help others and make the world a better place. When it comes to obstacles throughout my life, the most recent and prominent were my three mental health disorders. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa in March of this year, and a month later, anxiety and OCD. Those three disorders were all interconnected to put my life at risk for malnourishment and death. The worst part is that nobody even realized that I was dying until death was knocking at my door at a mere 80 pounds. Looking in the mirror, I was only a shell of who I used to be. Falling out hair, bones sticking out and blue nails, I was a prisoner to my own mind. Fortunately, with the help of my family, therapists, and doctors, I was able to continue with school but also start focusing on my mental health. By the end of the summer, I was fully back to a healthy weight and was a happier person. I still can deal with difficult days and situations, but the tools that I learned and am still learning from regular therapy and self-development are able to help me. My struggles with mental health taught me so much. First off, it is ok to rely on others. For my entire life, I was always "miss independent." I would pack my own lunches and never ask for help with my homework. Yet, throughout this mental health healing journey, I learned that other people are only there to help you. Second, you are never alone. During the worst parts of my eating disorder and anxiety, I thought that I was the only one struggling. It was only after I created a wellness social media account(@wellnesswlana), and one of my videos went viral, that I learned that I am not alone. Others are struggling too and want to support each other. Finally, life gets better. In January I thought I was going to die, but now I am thriving, and excited for the future. Life does get better.

"Impossible Women" Look in the mirror and who do I see Staring right back into me A hollow shell of who I used to be Bones sticking out, hair limp, a departee Of the person, I used to be It wasn't what you are thinking I swear I just was not aware Of the obsession And the oppression Of what society did to females To convince us that we must focus on the details Do your nails Take out the scales Make sure to eat less To fit in that dress Ance, so shameful It is almost blameful But don't you dare Decide to wear something like THAT out there You are asking for it Are you a half-wit? Here's the thing with this all It just led me to a close call To dying And trust me I am not lying Anorexia and anxiety disorders do that Just so you can be a copy cat Of the other women in magazines and social media posts All becoming ghosts Shells of who they were Which led something in me to spur Why starve me when I can thrive Why silence my issues when I can revive The conversation that haunted us all, as women together My thighs might not part But I am smart My skin is not perfect But my kindness affects Other girls around the world Now, posts are constantly hurled Of women supporting each other And I would much rather do that Then simply look at The impossible women society claims we must be

My dog saved my life. It was 2020, and we were in our first month of COVID-19 quarantine. The world was shut down, and I just got the communication that my school was shutting down for the rest of the year. I was terrified. I was lonely. I had lost control. So, I decided to control the one thing that I could, my body. I started to exercise and eat a little healthier. Nothing extreme, just little changes. What harm could it do? Then, it started to spiral from there. I was walking over 20,000 steps a day. I was working out constantly and would never ever eat outside of the strict "eating times" I had set for myself. I would weigh and count everything that went into my mouth. It was a prison. Within three months I had dropped twenty pounds. As a naturally skinny kid already, I looked boney. I looked unhealthy. But I convinced myself that I was fine. For two years I thought that I was fine. I was so wrong. In December of last year, my parents started to notice that things were really not right. Not only did I lose I lot of weight and never regain it back, but I would have mental breakdowns almost every single day about food. Either I ate too much food, or I ate to little. Nothing was perfect and nothing felt like it was in my control. I was running, secretly, in the mornings all the time and excessively trying to burn calories. By this time, I was skin and bones. I decided that I had to change. So I did. Entering into therapy I forced myself to eat and get better. I refused to skip meals or do other disordered habits that I did for so long in the years prior. Recovering from an eating disorder was one of the most difficult journeys of my entire life. My dog saved me from relapsing. When you recover from an eating disorder, anorexia, in particular, your stomach is not used to being full. Ever. Even eating a normal portion of food can be difficult for someone with anorexia. Eating multiple times a day can seem impossible. Your stomach bloats, your face gets puffy, and you are always sweating. Your body is fighting and confused, not understanding how to process all of the food. You feel like everyone is trying to get you fat and ugly. I did not trust my therapist. I did not trust my parents. I barely trusted myself. But, I trusted in my dog. When I would have panic attacks over meals, my dog would be there to calm me down. Watching him eat happily made me calmer when it came to mealtimes and portions. He would be there to cuddle when my stomach was upset after eating a normal portion again. Sunny, my dog, was there when I could barely look at myself in the mirror, my eyes morphing my body and showing me what is not there. Sunny always loved me, through my frustrations and failures, he was the one constant in my entire journey, that kept me committed to getting better and leaving anorexia behind me. Now, I am proud to say that I have recovered. Physically and mentally, I am at an incredible place where calories and exercise do not determine my self-worth. Cuddles with my favorite pup are just as productive as a workout. It all depends on taking care of yourself, slowing down, and spending time with the things that matter most- the dogs in our lives.

I never thought that I would deal with mental health struggles. As a goal-oriented perfectionist with perfect grades, the perfect family, and the "perfect" life, I was unstoppable. I was- until COVID-19. Quarantine was so hard on me mentally and the loss of control so provoking, that I started to control the one thing that I could, my body. Becoming obsessed and anxious about food and exercise in the name of "health," I was a prisoner to my mind. Quickly, I started to disappear, physically and mentally. The toxic thoughts, body dysmorphia, and anxiety were real issues, but I thought nothing was wrong. It took me two years for my family and myself to realize that I needed help. Being "over-controlling" around food, exercise, and my schedule hurt my physical health, my mental health, my friends, and my family. I was ashamed, as such a high-achieving student, to admit that something was wrong and I had to reach out for support. I took the initiative and told my mom that I need a therapist, at least for a while, until I can heal both my mind and my body. Now, after roughly six months of intense "personal" growth and recovery, I am stronger and happier than I have been in a very long time. I have gained weight and am slowly rebuilding my health. I enjoy going to a therapist to talk about internal struggles and insecurities. I am enjoying time with friends, sometimes losing control, and enjoying things as they come. Because my journey started as a restrictive, controlling prison in the name of "health", I decided that social media needed someone realistic to show what a truly healthy lifestyle can look like. There is a lot of information out there and I want to help girls (and guys) who want to become healthier, happier, stronger, and more successful without destroying their physical, mental, or emotional health. I have started an Instagram and Tiktok, @wellnesswlana, where I post content that inspires people to be the best versions of themselves. However, I make sure to show realistic content as well! Sometimes, I sleep in, am feeling down, or am having a "bad hair day," and I show people that it is normal. It is normal not to look "picture-perfect" every single minute. I am showing my vulnerabilities to hopefully, help someone like me, who thought that I had to be one way in the name of "health." I also started a podcast to give my followers a more in-depth "chat" on fitness myths, wellness tips, and lifestyle. My podcast combines education with entertainment so not only is it fun to listen to, but every single subscriber gets something out of the episode. With all of this in mind, I work to maintain my mental health. Continuing therapy and taking breaks are two of the most important things I do. Therapy helps me to see things from a different perspective and gives me the tools necessary to continue healing my body and my mind from everything I went through. Breaks from studying, social media, and too much socializing are important to reenergize me and give me the rest I need to continue to work, have fun, and study at the caliber that I want. These breaks can consist of spending time outside, reading a book, coloring, working out, or cooking something delicious. Mental health is important since it affects everything and can impact anyone. It is our responsibility to eliminate the stigma and start helping people like me, heal.

My favorite Disney character has always been Mulan. As a little girl, I was obsessed with all Disney princesses. The dresses, the castles, and the animals were all I needed to sing "sign me up." However, the first time I watched "Mulan," I was entranced. Mulan got her prince, but she was able to stand up for her family, be incredibly strong, and save an entire country! I wanted to be as intelligent and strong as her. When I was little, there was no Elsa or Moana. Mulan was the only princess during that time that was not a "damsel in distress." Being a very independent little girl, I wanted to be my own rescuer. Mulan also showed me that it is ok to not fit into society's standards. While I was a very "girly" girl, I did enjoy running around, climbing on things, and even boxing. Now, I have had the courage to start weightlifting. Our society shames girls for wanting interests outside of the "feminine realm," but I personally think it a shame that girls are not encouraged to try everything! And just like Mulan, I despise slathering on too much makeup and being forced into a life that you would rather avoid. Mulan was also always around her family and showed me that not always being "American" is not a bad thing. My parents were both immigrants from Europe so our culture, language, and food were a lot different than my friends from school. At first, I felt weird being "different" but then I realized that is what makes everyone unique and individual. On top of that, my family is always around me and we can be quite chaotic, just like Mulan's family. Finally, Mulan always tried her best to do what was right. So often, I think we see other princesses just be captive to whatever a prince or a king says. However, when Mulan's father was forced to fight in the war, Mulan stepped up to protect him. She was doing what was right and saving her father's life. Later down the line, she saved the entirety of China through her heroic actions. Mulan was and still is an inspiration to me. She was everything that a princess ought to be. Strong, beautiful, kind, courageous, intelligent, and confident in who she was.

"Bum bum...Bum bum...Bum...bum" This is my heart beating normally. "Bum bum bum BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM" That is my heart having tachycardia. My heart has kept me going. Imperfect in all. My heart has driven me to live. Imagine this, you are a typical girl in middle school. Dealing with new changes within your body, new friends, and graded tests- you were on top of the world! Quickly, your world started crashing down. After a few weeks of the first day of school, you realize that your heart sometimes beats really fast; and not when you are actually exercising. These "attacks", I called them, would happen so randomly that they were almost impossible to predict and treat. I knew something was wrong. My heart rate would skyrocket and I would start sweating and breathing heavily, almost as if I were running a marathon while sitting down in class or walking around the house. So, I did what every typical young girl would do, and told my parents. My parents were concerned and brought me to a cardiologist. After a few tests, I was deemed healthy and nothing was wrong. I tried to convince them that something was wrong with my heart. The doctors thought I was lying. My parents...confused. A few months later I was in gym class. I was having another "attack" but this time, I was exercising at the same time. Since the doctors told me earlier that I was healthy, I thought to just ignore my heart and keep exercising. I started seeing stars and felt dizzy; running over to the gym coach, I begged him to let me see the nurse. Just like everyone else, he thought that a healthy girl like me could not have any problems. Five minutes later, he let me go cause I would not stop bothering him. As I was walking into the office, my heart went into overdrive and my world went black. I woke up with the concerned nurse, principal, and receptionist standing over my head. In that moment, I burst into tears and explained that there was a problem, but it was so unpredictable that the doctor could not even find it. They sent me home and explained to my parents I needed a new cardiologist. Soon after, we found a different cardiologist. I told her that it was impossible to use the in-clinic equipment since these attacks happen randomly and need to be caught. She sent me home with a heart monitor for me to wear for a few weeks. Walking around with wires peeking out of my shirt was humiliating. This was middle school so of course, my classmates just made fun of me and my wires. Nevertheless, the heart rate monitor worked and the cardiologist finally diagnosed me with supraventricular tachycardia (SVT). Having this diagnosis changed my life. I finally knew what was wrong with my heart and some treatment options that were possibilities. However, I wanted to learn how to live with SVT. I learned that anxiety triggered my tachycardia, so I started to do breathing exercises. Five years later and I still do them. As a future dentist, there will be stressful situations. Learning how to handle them physically and mentally, is important for succeeding in my future career. A perfectionist by heart, even if my heart is far from perfect, I have learned to appreciate the things that are a little weird. Weirdness and imperfections make us...well...us, and I would not trade that for the world. So, in the end, my heart keeps me going. Something imperfect helps me live.

The school year can be a lot of fun, and stressful! Between hanging out with friends, exams, and maybe a side hustle, I am a very busy student. On top of that, striving for excellent grades and accomplishing everything I need before dental school, I am left with a lot of stress. However, I have found an easy way to cope with physical and mental stress. Living healthy. While some people might first assume that living healthy is the food that you eat, I would like to disagree. Mental health, in my opinion, is the most important aspect of health to focus on first. Without a sound mind, you cannot try and work out or cook healthy meals for yourself. I like to focus on my mental and spiritual health. Reading the bible, meditating, going to church, and journaling are all ways that, combined, strengthen my mental and spiritual health. Since I keep such a busy schedule, having breaks to focus on myself and give myself time to unwind, color, read a good book, pray, and perhaps do a facemask helps keep me grounded in the crazy college world. With a strong mind, comes a strong body. A strong body does not come from just sitting around and doing homework or journaling. A strong body comes from movement! One of the first things I do when stressed is moving my body. There is nothing better than waking up to a quiet sunrise walk in the fresh air, or a sweaty weightlifting session at the gym. I move my body every single day, different workouts depending on how I feel. Exercise not only strengthens and improves your physical health, but it also relieves stress, increases confidence, and improves your mental health. However, moving your body is not enough. You also need to fuel it with the right food. College classes are challenging and that brain needs energy! Eating home-cooked meals is critical for feeling good and eating healthy. I tend to meal-prep a lot of food over the weekend so I am able to eat without any preparation time during the week. Also, purchasing nutrient-dense and brain-healthy snacks such as nuts, fruit, and my favorite, dark chocolate, are delicious and easy ways to also keep your body and mind healthy. I have noticed that if I tend to eat foods that may not be healthy or nourishing, my performance at the gym and at school suffers. Wellness, and holistic health to me, are making sure all aspects of your life are fulfilled. As a student, I know it is hard to prioritize mental health when you are just trying to study for finals, or physical health when you feel like getting junk food. However, a healthy life, now, will help set you up for success in school, your career, and beyond!

Growing up, I was surrounded by math. Between a computer scientist father and an accountant mother, numbers became my life. Throughout elementary school, I was good at math but I never truly loved it. It was an incredible algebra teacher in the 7th grade, that made me fall in love with math. Walking into algebra class on the first day of school, I was terrified. The algebra teacher, Mrs. Runke, was famous for being one of the toughest teachers in the entire school. Wearing a sharp pink blazer and flawless makeup, my teacher looked both put together, and tough. However, having her as my algebra teacher changed my life, she made me fall in love with math. Mrs. Runke was extremely challenging and effective. She would find ways to include everyone in the class to solve a problem, review for a test, and have fun rewards after! I realized that the students that complained about her were those that did not want to put in the work. Then, in 8th grade, I received an incredible geometry teacher. Unlike Mrs. Runke, he taught the class a bit differently. He would give us homework within the class and then have us ask any question we wanted. My geometry teacher was determined to have everyone understand the lesson and homework before we left the classroom. Between Mrs. Runke and my geometry teacher, I fell in love with math. Many math classes later, from algebra to calculus, I was able to define why I loved math. Math gives me an answer. There is nothing "opinionated" about math. A question is either right, or it is wrong. Math gives me a challenge. There is nothing better than receiving a difficult calculus problem and spending hours on it, to finally get the right answer. Math also gives me leverage for the future. My major, biochemistry is heavily based on science. However, math gives me the tools to understand all of my science classes and data. Math is useful for the future, and it is useful for my future.

Ever since I was little, I was already planning my major and future colleges. What can I say? As a child, I loved school and knew the importance of getting an education. My dream was to help others, and how can you help others if you do not understand how the world works? Now, I have focused on that dream of helping others with dentistry. I have developed a love for making kids and adults alike, smile confidently. I remember I truly fell in love with education in general in the 6th grade. I had a wonderful group of teachers that taught everything from language arts to algebra incredibly well. They created a love for all topics, especially math and science. As I progressed throughout high school, I loved my advanced math and science courses. AP Chemistry and Biology were difficult, but I loved the dedication and hard work it took to understand tougher concepts. At the same time, I started to enjoy reading. I made a goal for myself to read a book for at least twenty minutes a day, and that goal has stuck with me for over four years! Reading so much has also given me the tools to write and has helped me as I entered into college classes as a PSEO student. PSEO was very challenging. I was a junior in high school, but in classes with college students ranging from freshman to senior. It became normal that I was the youngest in the class. Luckily, this love of education persevered. I took a difficult biology class, chemistry II, calculus, and numerous writing and history classes. I even threw in a psychology class just for fun! With more freedom within my class choices and schedule, I enjoyed learning about topics that I actually was passionate about. This year, as a senior in high school but a second-year PSEO student, I am planning to take many difficult but exciting classes. Some include organic chemistry, physics, statistics, and economics. Many of these classes are already focused on my biochemistry major and business minor which I hope will help me be admitted to a dental school in the future. And, I will never stop reading and writing. Between fiction, nonfiction, and everything in between, I continue to read for at least twenty to thirty minutes a day. I was even hired at my county library because of the book recommendations and tech support that I provided to other patrons. Higher education is important to me because it opens doors to the future. There is nothing better than working hard at something and finally understanding the concept! Without my core classes, I would not be able to graduate high school or college. Without a college degree, I would not be able to apply for dental school. Without dental school, I will never be able to help other people smile confidently. Higher education is not a "want," it is a necessary and exciting part of my future. I am so excited for this school year and for the next few years of finishing my major and going to dental school. Afterward, however, education will not stop. To be the best dentist I can be for my patients, I need to constantly be reading new journals and articles. I need to ask questions and never be afraid to try something new. Higher education is not just college, it is a lifelong process of becoming the best you can be for others.

I have always been into healthy eating. Between my mom exclusively cooking home-cooked meals and myself dabbling with vegan baked treats, there was always plenty to nibble on in our kitchen. I fell in love with superfoods while recovering from anorexia and strict calorie counting. One of the first lessons I learned while trying to heal myself is that food is medicine. Everything you eat can help you, or it can hurt you. I started to ignore the calorie counts of all foods and focus more on how it makes my body feel and the nutrients in them. However, I am still trying my best to live a balanced lifestyle and sometimes a muffin or piece of cake is what you need! I have been able to use healthy eating to heal my body from the starvation it had to deal with for over two years. For my hair that fell out, I eat lots of almonds, avocado, walnuts, and salmon. The healthy fats have helped to heal my skin, hair, and nails. Not to mention that I would never turn down a delicious avocado toast! My brain has struggled throughout the past few years from lack of nourishment, so I have been feeding it as much as possible. Blueberries, acai, nuts, dark chocolate, and turmeric are some of my favorite things to boost my brain. For optimal performance for exercising, quinoa, eggs, and leafy greens such as kale have helped me to build lean muscle, run faster, and left heavier. When I eat healthily, I feel stronger, both physically and mentally. Eating healthy can be a challenge though! One of the biggest hurdles for me is the lack of time, especially during the busy school year. By meal-prepping and having home-cooked meals, I have been able to fill my diet with healthy carbs, proteins, and veggies. For school, I pack healthy snacks for my brain such as almonds, dark chocolate, and berries to keep myself full and not running after the "junky" snacks. Finally, healthy eating should be fun! I enjoy trying out different healthy restaurants near my house and cooking. I have learned how to add lots of healthy ingredients to my meals and make them taste even better. Over COVID I started an Instagram account (@wellnesswlana) where I post healthy recipes and wellness tips. On that account, I not only make nutrient-dense meals but also treats! Some of my recent creations have been quinoa cucumber salad with almonds and a no-bake vegan cheesecake topped with acai berries. With my passion for healthy eating, I make sure that my body and mind are never starved again!

Ever since I was little, I was already planning my major and future colleges. What can I say? As a child, I loved school and knew the importance of getting an education. My dream was to help others, and how can you help others if you do not understand how the world works? Now, I have focused on that dream of helping others with dentistry. I have developed a love for making kids and adults alike, smile confidently. I remember I truly fell in love with education in general in the 6th grade. I had a wonderful group of teachers that taught everything from language arts to algebra incredibly well. They created a love for all topics, especially math and science. As I progressed throughout high school, I loved my advanced math and science courses. AP Chemistry and Biology were difficult, but I loved the dedication and hard work it took to understand tougher concepts. At the same time, I started to enjoy reading. I made a goal for myself to read a book for at least twenty minutes a day, and that goal has stuck with me for over four years! Reading so much has also given me the tools to write and has helped me as I entered into college classes as a PSEO student. PSEO was very challenging. I was a junior in high school, but in classes with college students ranging from freshman to senior. It became normal that I was the youngest in the class. Luckily, this love of education persevered. I took a difficult biology class, chemistry II, calculus, and numerous writing and history classes. I even threw in a psychology class just for fun! With more freedom within my class choices and schedule, I enjoyed learning about topics that I actually was passionate about. This year, as a senior in high school but a second year PSEO student, I am planning to take many difficult but exciting classes. Some include organic chemistry, physics, statistics, and economics. Many of these classes are already focused on my biochemistry major and business minor that I hope will help me be admitted to a dental school in the future. And, I will never stop reading and writing. Between fiction, nonfiction, and everything in between, I continue to read for at least twenty to thirty minutes a day. I was even hired at my county library because of the book recommendations and tech support that I provided to other patrons. Higher education is important to me because it opens doors to the future. There is nothing better than working hard at something and finally understanding the concept! Without my core classes, I would not be able to graduate high school or college. Without a college degree, I would not be able to apply for dental school. WIthout dental school, I will never be able to help other people smile confidently. Higher education is not a "want," it is a necessary and exciting part of my future. I am so excited for this school year and for the next few years of finishing my major and going to dental school. Afterwards, however, the education will not stop. To be the best dentist I can be for my patients, I need to constantly be reading new journals and articles. I need to ask questions and never be afraid to try something new. Higher education is not just college, it is a lifelong process of becoming the best you can be for others.

Ever since I was little, I was already planning my major and future colleges. What can I say? As a child, I loved school and knew the importance of getting an education. My dream was to help others, and how can you help others if you do not understand how the world works? Now, I have focused on that dream of helping others with dentistry. I have developed a love for making kids and adults alike, smile confidently. I remember I truly fell in love with education in general in the 6th grade. I had a wonderful group of teachers that taught everything from language arts to algebra incredibly well. They created a love for all topics, especially math and science. As I progressed throughout high school, I loved my advanced math and science courses. AP Chemistry and Biology were difficult, but I loved the dedication and hard work it took to understand tougher concepts. At the same time, I started to enjoy reading. I made a goal for myself to read a book for at least twenty minutes a day, and that goal has stuck with me for over four years! Reading so much has also given me the tools to write and has helped me as I entered into college classes as a PSEO student. PSEO was very challenging. I was a junior in high school, but in classes with college students ranging from freshman to senior. It became normal that I was the youngest in the class. Luckily, this love of education persevered. I took a difficult biology class, chemistry II, calculus, and numerous writing and history classes. I even threw in a psychology class just for fun! With more freedom within my class choices and schedule, I enjoyed learning about topics that I actually was passionate about. This year, as a senior in high school but a second year PSEO student, I am planning to take many difficult but exciting classes. Some include organic chemistry, physics, statistics, and economics. Many of these classes are already focused on my biochemistry major and business minor that I hope will help me be admitted to a dental school in the future. And, I will never stop reading and writing. Between fiction, nonfiction, and everything in between, I continue to read for at least twenty to thirty minutes a day. I was even hired at my county library because of the book recommendations and tech support that I provided to other patrons. Higher education is important to me because it opens doors to the future. There is nothing better than working hard at something and finally understanding the concept! Without my core classes, I would not be able to graduate high school or college. Without a college degree, I would not be able to apply for dental school. WIthout dental school, I will never be able to help other people smile confidently. Higher education is not a "want," it is a necessary and exciting part of my future. I am so excited for this school year and for the next few years of finishing my major and going to dental school. Afterwards, however, the education will not stop. To be the best dentist I can be for my patients, I need to constantly be reading new journals and articles. I need to ask questions and never be afraid to try something new. Higher education is not just college, it is a lifelong process of becoming the best you can be for others.

December 2021, my social media platform looked like I was living the healthiest life. In reality, I was dying. Let's backtrack. The pandemic was extremely tough on my mental health. Everything seemed to be out of my control so I started to control the one thing that I could- my body. I started exercising for hours every single day and limiting my food. I thought that it was healthy to exercise that much. I thought it was healthy to cut out food groups. I thought it was healthy to count calories. I thought it was healthy to refuse to hang out with friends since it interfered with working out. I was extremely wrong. I may have eaten healthily, but my body was nothing but healthy. As a teenage girl, I was supposed to grow and get a period, but I didn't. My nails were brittle, my hair was falling out, I was always cold, and was anxious about eating something unplanned, and I stopped laughing. That was my reality for over a year. I was frozen in time, with a twelve-year-old body and a seventeen-year-old brain. During this time, I also started a social media platform called @wellnesswlana. I would post regularly on healthy recipes, exercises, and lifestyle content. Everyone praised me for being so healthy, which could have been one of the reasons that I did not realize that I was not. I only realized that my obsession with healthiness, known as orthorexia, turned into anorexia after I got back from a vacation and weighed ninety pounds. The last time I weighed that low was in middle school. I realized that my relationship with myself, food, and exercise was so toxic. It looked healthy, but there is a limit. I decided to admit to my family about my mental health, get help, and heal myself from the inside out. Starting in January of this year, I would go to therapy and doctor's appointments. It felt like I was never going to get better. My anorexia got so bad that my body started to defend itself biologically using extreme hunger. I could not ever get enough food! Finally, by the Spring, things started to slow down as my weight started to increase and normalize. My hair started to strengthen, I was not always cold, and I could focus on things other than food and exercise. Now, in August, I have learned what it is like to truly live a healthy lifestyle. Healthy looks different for everyone. For me, that means regular balanced meals, but not forget that it is ok to have a few treats here and there. It means working out when you have the energy and resting when you do not. Spending time with friends and not always living by the schedule. Having time to myself to read a book, color, or pray. For me, it means limited cardio but lots of resistance and strength training since that is what I enjoy. Some people may have a different view on wellness, but I view it as many healthy habits that improve your physical, mental, and spiritual health. During this time of redefining what "healthy" means for me, I also updated my social media platforms and started a podcast. In there, I describe the difference between balanced eating and restriction, how to build muscle, and how to improve your mental health. I am showing girls and guys all over the world what it means to be healthy. Health is not a day, a week, or a month. Health is a journey focusing on everything that makes you...YOU.

Ever since I was little, I was already planning my major and my future colleges. What can I say? I loved school and appreciated a good education from a young age. As a future dental student, I have already decided and am working towards my biochemistry major. Right now, I am applying to the colleges I have dreamed about. It feels like the life I am living is what I have been dreaming about for so long. College is exciting because it's your first "test-run" of adult living. Living in a dorm or apartment, cooking your own food, and having to make your own doctor's appointments; college is the first time where you are truly alone. I am most excited about the challenging classes I will take for my biochemistry major, meeting new people, living alone, and getting closer to dental school. You may have caught on that I am a perfectionist and a very "type-A" personality. I love planning and turning in my best work. Last year, I was a junior in high school, but a freshman in college. You may ask how that is possible. In Minnesota, where I live, there is a program called PSEO. As a high-school junior or senior, you are allowed to take college classes at a regular campus, with actual college students! Last year I lived with my parents but was commuting to a college for all of my classes. College classes are a lot different than high school classes. Instead of every single day, they are only a few times a week. If you miss an assignment or do not understand something, you need to stand up for yourself. I have unfortunately learned that the professor will not "baby" you as they did in high school. With this, I became extremely anxious and stressed during college. I was always worrying about homework or my next exam. However, I have found easy ways to cope with stress and stay healthy, physically and mentally. One of the first things I did, and still do, is move my body when I am stressed. There is nothing better than waking up to a quiet sunrise walk in the fresh air, or a sweaty weightlifting session at the gym. I move my body every single day and tend to exercise more when I am stressed. Exercise not only strengthens and improves your physical health, but it also relieves stress, increases confidence, and improves your mental health. However, moving your body is not enough. You also need to fuel it with the right food. College classes are tough and that brain needs energy! Eating home-cooked meals and nutrient-dense and brain-healthy snacks such as nuts, fruit, and my favorite, dark chocolate, are delicious and easy ways to also keep your body and mind healthy. I have also noticed that if I tend to eat foods that may not be healthy or nourishing, my performance at the gym and at school suffers. On top of keeping my body healthy, I also like to focus on my mental and spiritual health. Reading the bible, meditating, going to church, and journaling are all ways that, combined, strengthen my mental and spiritual health. Since I keep such a busy schedule, having breaks to focus on myself and give myself time to unwind, color, read a good book, pray, and perhaps do a facemask helps keep me grounded in the crazy college world.

Walking into the kitchen every single day, you are greeted by incredible smells of fresh meat purchased from the local farm, and veggies grown in our very own garden. This was and still is my life. Living with my parents has benefited me a lot, but one of the biggest ways is the way they taught me to appreciate clean living. As far back as I can remember, my mom has cooked something fresh in our kitchen every single day. As a two-job mom, she was busy, but always made time for the important things in life. One of those important things for her was food. My dad, not the chef, focused on providing her with the ingredients she needed for her delicious meals. He decided to turn our entire backyard into a garden. Filled with hundreds of apple and pear trees, spiky berry bushes, and a plot of any vegetable or herb you could ask for, he was big on gardening. During the summer and fall, our family would weed, water, and harvest all types of fruits and vegetables. We would eat the produce that very same day, or freeze them until they were needed. Out of all the jobs in the garden, weeding is the hardest. My parents are both against pesticides, which means not one plant or tree in our garden is sprayed with anything. With no pesticide spray or weed killer in our big garden, we are heaven for weeds. Once a week, however, our family would go out and weed, by hand, all of the vegetables and fruits that needed weeding. We also live in a rural area, so getting fresh meat and eggs is easy by purchasing it from a local farm. The best part is we know that both the animals were treated well, and the animal product we are purchasing is high quality. Winter and the early Spring can be a bit different. With no fresh fruits and veggies, we have to go out to the grocery store, just like everyone else, to purchase food. My parents still focus on organic, humanely-raised, and non-GMO food. I understand that it is very privileged to be able to choose this type of food, and am grateful for the opportunity to nourish my body with healthy and clean food. On top of food, my parents also taught us to focus on the products that we use, and our consumption of things such as electricity, clothing, and more. My dad installed solar panels so we have clean energy year-round. Not only is it beneficial for the planet, but it is also great during storms when the rest of our neighbors have no power. With clothing, my parents always taught me to truly think about everything I purchase. Will I wear it? Does the cost have anything to do with the quality or the people that made it? Lately, I have been trying my best to purchase clothing that is made from recycled materials and pays the employees a living wage. It is much harder done than said, as all the trendy pieces are generally fast-fashion. Clean living is not just the food you eat, but also everything else around you. Where does your electricity come from? Should you take that plastic bag from the grocery store or bring your own? Do you really need another t-shirt from a cheap online website? I am forever grateful that my parents taught me the importance of taking care of my body and our planet through clean eating, and daily clean living.

After COVID-19, my community, our country, and our world had a mental health crisis. People were so depressed, lonely, and not interested in anything. So, I developed a little habit to help combat it. Drawing smiley faces on everything. When you see a smiley face, it is hard not to be happy. Such a childish drawing brings joy to everyone who comes across it. I started to draw them after signing my name on a piece of paper and drew them on bananas, checks, and receipts. Everyone who saw a smiley face instantly got uplifted. COVID-19 triggered an increase in all types of mental health disorders. Because of the prevalence of social media and always being on a place-and-shelter order, people were developing mental health problems faster than COVID-19 at times! With a 25% increase in all mental disorders such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and more, we need to do more for those struggling. Gone untreated and with no help, these disorders often lead to self-harm and suicide. After the pandemic, our country's mental health professionals did fill their offices once again with therapy sessions and more. However, this is not enough. Even with online therapy platforms, there is a disparity in mental health; these clinics and professionals only serve the wealthy. Therapy and mental health support can be expensive, but with enough money, you can get off the long waitlists and into a clinic. I was lucky enough to be admitted to therapy and was treated for OCD and anorexia earlier this year. I am happy to say I have recovered, but have seen many around me who have not. It is not because they don't want to get better, they simply do not have the resources to get better. Their families might not have enough money for normal doctor and dentist visits, so why would they visit a therapist or a psychologist? Generally, the people that are able to get mental health treatment are generally white people. Therapists and mental health professionals are generally white as well. Many minority groups who may afford mental health treatment, feel misunderstood talking to a therapist that has no idea what it is like to be them. On top of that, women and men are stigmatized getting help. Women are seen as "too emotional" and real mental health problems can be named as "a phase" or "she is just PMS- ing." Men are seen as "weak" and "unmanly" for wanting to figure out issues and emotions. On top of the cost of mental health treatment, and the people giving and providing it, there is also a big stigma for admitting you have a problem. There is a stigma for talking about how you want to get better. I know this firsthand. December 2021, I was extremely sick. Always anxious and hating my body, I would skip meals over and over again. Thanks to my OCD, this became a habit. A ritual. An obsession. Running early in the morning and struggling to sleep, anorexia took over my life. I weighed just ninety pounds. The last time I was at that weight was in middle school. I was seventeen. I would cry over any morsel of food in my mouth. The worst part is that I was scared to admit I had a problem. At the time, my wellness social media platform took off. I was posting regularly on nutrient-dense recipes, workouts, and lifestyle content. My life may have seen perfect, but I was dying on the inside. On social media, everyone is showing their "best life" and that was exactly what I was doing. I realized that I needed a break and logged off for over a month. During that time off of social media, I finally admitted to my family that I needed help. I was waitlisted at all the therapists and clinics in our area. Luckily, my parents were supporting me and I started to regain weight back without a professional. A few months after, in March, I finally was able to see a doctor and therapist. I started weekly therapy and kept regaining weight. I had to stop running but I found weightlifting- an activity that saved my life. By May or June, I was almost fully recovered. My weight stabilized at a healthy number, and I enjoyed weightlifting 5-6 times a week. I was shocked to see how much stronger my body got. Even my bones grew! It was then that I logged back into social media and started to unashamedly post about eating disorders, their symptoms, and how to get better. With my new social media platform, I even started a podcast. Smiley faces are seen over some of my posts and stories, just to uplfit others. Other girls started to message me saying that I helped them overcome a fear food (a certain type of food that you are scared to eat, believing it will make you "gain weight") or other disordered habits. I broke the stigma, and I became so much happier. Friends and family started to reach out to me and ask why I was so happy. Why was I always smiling, wearing t-shirts with smiley faces, and drawing them everywhere I went? Why was I taking pictures of foods deemed by society as "bad"? Why did I lift weights but limit my cardio? I told them that my goal in life is to become happier, and that means smiling a lot, helping others, and getting strong. Currently, I am taking another break from social media. I broke the stigma of discussing mental health, but I also want to break the stigma of removing yourself from triggering situations and focusing on healing. This is what I did early in the year, and I am doing again as I am trying to simply be happy and stop comparing myself so much. However, no matter if I am on social media or not, smiley faces are always going to be drawn, everywhere.

I am pursuing a biochemistry major. I have always loved STEM classes. Maybe it's because STEM is very easy to prove with numbers, hypotheses, tests, and data. Growing up around a father that was passionate about computer science, and a mother that was an accountant, numbers were around our family all day! I was good at math thanks to my family's occupations and extra summer studying, but I only started to develop a love for it during 7th grade. Walking into my algebra class for the first time, I was terrified. The algebra I was taking was advanced, and the teacher looked extremely strict. However, I grew to love the teacher and she made algebra challenging, but fun! This is where my love of math started. I then entered high school where I would obsess over math. Going ahead, I completed an honors year-long algebra II class within a semester. Then COVID happened and all of my classes moved online. Distance learning for sophomore year was challenging for me; but it could also be because I decided to take a double load of science classes, AP chemistry, and biology, along with a math class, pre-calc. Pre-calc flew by, and so did biology, but AP Chemistry was my first college-level class, and it was hard. After the first exam, so many people dropped out of the class that we only had four people in the class, including me! I distinctly remember working on one problem, and this is where the love of chemistry started. If you have ever taken a chemistry class, going from grams to moles is a hard concept to learn. It is even harder when all of your labs are online and you have no idea what a mole is. Like is a mole an actual mole, like the animal? At the time, I had no clue. But after staying up till midnight working on some problems it finally made sense! Then, the following year, I took chemistry II at my local college as a junior PSEO student. It was so much fun to have an actual in-person lab and professor. Finally, biology. Biology is definitely a class that requires some imagination- but luckily I got that mastered by defining mole. I mean, when you are trying to describe a biological process such as photosynthesis, it requires some imagination. I took biology in my junior PSEO college class, and the professor was amazing. It was definitely one of the most challenging science classes I took, and that is probably why I fell in love. I even volunteered extra in the lab! So, I love chemistry, I love biology and I love math. Luckily, at the colleges of my choice, a biochemistry major is right for me. Biochemistry would mix biology, chemistry, and math into one perfect package, giving me challenging classes and lots of fun! With that major, I hope to become a dentist and help use my science and math skills to make people smile confidently.

"Just eat more," my family said, right after I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. That one phrase lead to my eating disorder coming back worse, in the midst of me using every bit of my energy to simply recover. I was always a happy and healthy kid. Nothing other than the typical teenage drama was on my mind as I entered into 2020. 2020 was going to be MY year. Until it wasn't. COVID-19 quarantine took a very large mental toll on everyone- including myself. I dealt with burnout, and then anxiety, and then add an eating disorder on top of that. My family started noticing me becoming quiet, losing my light, barely cracking a smile. They just thought that I was being the typical "hormonal teen girl." They would never guess that my smile was gone because I had no energy left...no calories left...to simply smile. Two years of being locked in a prison. It was not only a mental prison but also a physical one. I stopped growing- freezing myself in a body of a fourteen-year-old. Until the prison cracked. I was in the Dominican Republic for Christmas at a resort with my family. It was then my family realized that "eating more" was a serious struggle. Not only would I break down over everything I ate, but I would also wake up at five in the morning, to run for hours on the beach in the dark. I would swim until my lips turned blue and I was shivering, ribs shining in the hot sun. Then, I got COVID and I dropped even more weight. Coming back home after the vacation, I was in the worst shape of my life. My body retaliated, mental breakdowns happened daily, my heart was deathly slow, and I dealt with extreme hunger. I decided to tell my parents everything and ask for a therapist. Through my therapist, I have found more positive coping mechanisms for when my mind is racing. Now, I am six months into eating disorder recovery and while it is not a linear path, I am doing much better than I was. During my healing journey that may never have an end, I learned that my goals to be perfect were unrealistic. Every single day, I tried to do something intentionally that I was completely horrible at! This was extremely difficult for someone who was a perfectionist at everything. My goal in life is to be happy. As cliche as that sounds, it's true! No amount of money or relationships can ever bring you that inner peace and joy you get from self-love. Other goals such as helping others, becoming a dentist, creating my own practice, funding a nonprofit, traveling the world, and starting a family are secondary. Those goals will not happen if the big thing is taken care of: being happy. Healing from anorexia made me happy, and it also made me rediscover who I was through my relationships. Everyone that knew me before I got sick said that I got my light back. When I was sick, I did not have emotions. As crazy as this sounds, I never felt sad, angry, or happy, I was numb. Always focused on productivity and how to survive, I wouldn't stop to make a joke or smile at a stranger. After I healed, I was able to learn who I really was. I had the energy to re-meet myself through my family and friends. I learned that I am a very confident and funny person who has big dreams and lots of discipline. I love to talk to others with different views than me so I get a broader understanding of the world. Other people are not there to hurt me- only help! Asking for help from family and friends should not make you feel like a burden. As someone who also likes to be the "perfect" friend, this was something I had to come to terms with. Everyone needs some help sometimes and that is ok! The world, well, it's the world. Nobody truly knows who I am or what I had to deal with- not even my own parents. There are some things that might never be talked about or said. But I believe that while our society can have horrible stigmas surrounding mental health, this is shifting. I notice the more I talk about my past struggles, the more others open up. People feel connected and accepted when they realize that they are not alone! The world wants to change and evolve to become a more welcoming place for everyone, and it starts with being kinder to yourself and others. When someone asks for help or says something vulnerable, be the person on their side, cheering them on. I of course, still deal with struggles. My mind still races and it is sometimes hard to not go back into bad habits. However, thanks to my family, friends, and myself, I was able to not only survive but finally start living. Anorexia didn't destroy me. Anorexia didn't kill me. Anorexia doesn't own me. I do, and I chose to destroy it.

"Bum bum...Bum bum...Bum...bum" This is my heart beating normally. "Bum bum bum BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM" That is my heart having tachycardia. My heart has kept me going. Imperfect in all. My heart has driven me to live. Imagine this, you are a typical girl in middle school. Dealing with new changes within your body, new friends, and graded tests- you were on top of the world! Quickly, your world started crashing down. After a few weeks of the first day of school, you realize that your heart sometimes beats really fast; and not when you are actually exercising. These "attacks", I called them, would happen so randomly that they were almost impossible to predict and treat. I knew something was wrong. My heart rate would skyrocket and I would start sweating and breathing heavily, almost as if I were running a marathon while sitting down in class or walking around the house. So, I did what every typical young girl would do, and told my parents. My parents were concerned and brought me to a cardiologist. After a few tests, I was deemed healthy and nothing was wrong. I tried to convince them that something was wrong with my heart. The doctors thought I was lying. My parents...confused. A few months later I was in gym class. I was having another "attack" but this time, I was exercising at the same time. Since the doctors told me earlier that I was healthy, I thought to just ignore my heart and keep exercising. I started seeing stars and felt dizzy; running over to the gym coach, I begged him to let me see the nurse. Just like everyone else, he thought that a healthy girl like me could not have any problems. Five minutes later, he let me go cause I would not stop bothering him. As I was walking into the office, my heart went into overdrive and my world went black. I woke up with the concerned nurse, principal, and receptionist standing over my head. In that moment, I burst into tears and explained that there was a problem, but it was so unpredictable that the doctor could not even find it. They sent me home and explained to my parents I needed a new cardiologist. Soon after, we found a different cardiologist. I told her that it was impossible to use the in-clinic equipment since these attacks happen randomly and need to be caught. She sent me home with a heart monitor for me to wear for a few weeks. Walking around with wires peeking out of my shirt was humiliating. This was middle school so of course, my classmates just made fun of me and my wires. Nevertheless, the heart rate monitor worked and the cardiologist finally diagnosed me with supraventricular tachycardia (SVT). Having this diagnosis changed my life. I finally knew what was wrong with my heart and some treatment options that were possibilities. However, I wanted to learn how to live with SVT. I learned that anxiety triggered my tachycardia, so I started to do breathing exercises. Five years later and I still do them. I have learned to be grateful for everything in my body that helps me live, imperfect or not, since it all has a function. A perfectionist by heart, even if my heart is far from perfect, I have learned to appreciate the things that are a little weird. Weirdness and imperfections make us...well...us, and I would not trade that for the world. So, in the end, my heart keeps me going. Something imperfect helps me live.

"I won't give up. I will not give up. I refuse to give up." Those three sentences have become my mantras throughout my entire life. They were my lifeline as I was drowning in anorexia. They brought me peace as I attempted to walk the rocky waters of depression. They gave me strength when I was trying to stay afloat working two jobs and maintaining perfect grades. Those sentences that I repeated, became me. I do not give up. Ever. Even when things get tough and there is no light at the end of the tunnel, I refuse to give up. Too often, we see our family and friends give up. They believe that they cannot handle a certain job, fix a relationship, or heal themselves. Unfortunately, whatever you believe you become. I believed that I would not give up and here I am, alive, successful, and happy. This quality of pursuing life's storms and calm waters, allowed me to experience life to the fullest. I was able to travel to places, try new things, live an actual life, enjoy friends, excel in school, apply for jobs, and help others! Looking ahead, I have a long ocean to cross, but I will not give up. High school was tough, but my quality of never giving up saved me. Now, as a rising senior, I know that I will not give up now. Failed tests happen, your alarm rings late, a family situation happens- but I will persevere. Sitting and stressing about all the things that went wrong will not make the other things go right! I hope to open my own dental practice. I am confident I will become a dentist. I am working hard towards my undergraduate degree. Look at those positive words! Not only are they my life goals but that is exactly how I say it to myself. I act like I already applied and got in, like I already succeeded, and it works! Dealing with life's circumstances in a positive light not only helps you overcome them but succeed and inspire others. Life is tough! But if we are determined to always try our best and get to the finish line, it will become that much better. So, I challenge you. What would happen if you never gave up? If you went for that dream college? Asked the girl on a date? Applied for that job? Took that trip? How would your life change if you decided to never give up?

"Gratitude is the ability to experience life as a gift. It liberates us from the prison of self-preoccupation." - John Ortberg Technology might tie the whole world together, it makes our world smaller. In doing so, it takes the magic out of our universe. Learning, on the other hand, broadens our brain and our world. I first fell in love with learning about the world around us in middle school. Due to a fantastic science teacher, I realized that asking questions and staying curious about our world is a lot more fun than just reading a textbook! Through hands-on learning, I saw an onion through a microscope and felt potential and kinetic energy in motion. This curiosity stayed with me all throughout high school. High school gave me options for all sorts of classes. In my sophomore year, amidst a global pandemic, I decided to challenge myself with two science classes in the same semester, biology and AP chemistry. Both were challenging, and both became my favorite classes. It was in those classes I truly learned about the Krebs cycle and the strength of hydrogen bonds. For my junior year, I became a PSEO student at my local college and also took biology and chemistry classes there. No matter where I took my science classes, I was always rewarded for staying curious and working hard. Now, as a rising high school senior, I am going to be taking more difficult PSEO classes. Organic chemistry, microbiology, and physics are just some of the many classes I will be tackling throughout the next year. There is nothing like learning what the world has to offer with the rigour of a college course. Aside from grades and a future job why do I love science? Science makes me appreciate the universe. From physics to chemistry, biology to astronomy, psychology to sociology, science is all around us! Science helps us ask the right questions and appreciate the small things that make up our entire world. The more I know, the more I can understand and express gratitude for the complex systems, chemicals, and cells that make up everything. But how can you stay so optimistic during finals week? What if you are studying something that does not relate to your future job? As a future dentist, I have a lot of hopes. I hope to major in biochemistry and apply to dental school. I hope to keep learning, only to give my patients the best care that they can get. I hope to always be grateful for the little things in life. I stay optimistic when things get confusing because I keep trying to view the bigger picture. I found my "why" and often need to remind myself of why I am learning what I am learning. And if I learn something that is not "applicable" to dentristry, I may read a book in the future abut that topic or my child might have a homework question that I need to help them understand. At the end of the day, I simply want to understand why everything happens. How do plants get energy? What makes up a diamond? Why is it that wisdom teeth are detrimental to oral health? So many "whys" and so little time fuels my desire to become a dentist, a future dentist that will never stop learning.

Wrapping my best friend in a hug, I told her she was not alone, and that I understood her. She slowly nodded, as if in a daze, and walked away. For years I could never understand mental illness, until I battled with my own. Let's backtrack since that was a very heavy introduction. During COVID-19, I developed anorexia nervosa. Unlike many people that suffer, I did it for control rather than losing weight...but lose weight I did. For two years I convinced myself and everyone around me that this was I was happy... until I wasn't. This year, after a vacation to the Dominican Republic with my family, we all saw how I was mentally sick. Waking up at the crack of dawn to run extra, always crying during meals, and not being able to manage my emotions- I was a wreck. After we got home, I got sick with COVID and my weight dropped even lower. I was just a few pounds until I would be admitted to the hospital. I decided, on one cold January day, that I was going to get better with every ounce of strength I had left. I quit running and doing high-intensity workouts and focused on eating more and building muscle. I have fully regained all of the weight lost and am at a healthy weight. I am able to be spontaneous and go out with friends, laugh, and focus on the important things in life. I am mostly recovered, but there are still remnants of the eating disorder. Sometimes, I hate the way I look. Other times, it is more difficult for me to eat. However, I understand the desire I have for control and fight it. Through this, I am able to empathize with others and truly say, "I understand you."

I am not an artsy person. The best I can do is maybe a rough estimation of a Bob Ross painting or maybe a stick-figure self-portrait of myself. I know- that's sad. While I may not be able to do much art, I do enjoy music. Music is the one form of art that I am relatively good at, and playing the piano has been a constant throughout my life. My favorite song on the piano has to be "Fur Elise" by Beethoven. This was one of the first "difficult" songs that I was able to learn, but quickly I had it memorized and would take any chance I got to play it in front of others. I loved that song so much that five years later, I could still play memorized parts. The first thing I love about "Fur Elise" is the emotion. Beethoven did write the piece for someone he loved. Love is a very complicated emotion and he embodied that turmoil within a song. It starts off very mellow and melodic and by the second phrase, quickly goes to an upbeat "exciting" phrase. It finishes off back to the slow and melodic phrase we heard in the beginning. Playing this throughout different seasons of my life, I was able to relate the emotion to something relevant. Whether that was teenage drama, COVID-19 quarantine, or getting my dream summer job, this song has been with me throughout my teenage years, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I am going to be completely honest- like many of us, the climate was not on my mind as I had to deal with freshman year in high school. Life was hard enough and I was already trying to do little things to help, so why bother and do more? After my friends decided to join our school's environmental club, I decided to join them, more out of FOMO than anything else. Never would I have known that the Environmental Club was a place where I made an impact, and learn so much! After the first year of Environmental Club, I started to do more. I received a leadership position on the board and had to start setting up tangible ways to raise money. I succeded and we were able to raise thousands. My friends, now all leaders on the Environmental Club board, try to find ways to get everyone from our school involved in these newly funded projects! Recently, we have created vegetarian lunch options, an efficient recycling strategy, and built a pollinator garden. On top of the things we build and improve within our school district, we cannot forget teaching the younger generation. This year, I spend a lot of time networking with elementary school students. These students are the future of our high school's environmental club and the future of the world, they must be educated on how to help keep our planet clean! That incoming freshman that only joined the environmental club for her friends learned a lot! I learned that you can change and improve "old systems" and education is the tool to this change. I learned that our planet is precious- and how I can make sure she is taken care of for years to come.

Sitting alone on the floor of the bathroom, tears were rolling down my face. How could my mind and body be in such confusion? Why is something so normal for everyone so hard for me? I could give up, but then where would that leave me? So, I took a deep breath and took a bite. Let's backtrack, since that was confusing! I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa earlier this year and had to do everything in my power to get better. COVID-19 was difficult for my mental health and eventually, these issues turned into an eating disorder. The tricky thing with an eating disorder recovery is that you have to battle these voices and urges every single day, every single meal, even every hour. After getting diagnosed, I talked to many doctors and therapists. They tried to find a solution for me- and yet none of the solutions seemed to fit my personality. Resident treatment was too much, and outpatient did not work either. I was busy. I did not have time to sit through hours of therapy. So, instead, I decided that if I got myself into anorexia, I could get myself out. These past 6 months were the hardest of my entire life. Every single time I sat down to eat, there was a battle in my mind. My body struggled to understand that it was alright to be hungry- leaving me no indicators of when to eat and when to stop. A lot of times, I had to eat in my car, in school, and especially when others were not eating- a very triggering situation for me. But, I am proud to say I did it. I was brave, I pushed through, I ignored the comments and the negative thoughts, and I have recovered from anorexia.

I always thought of myself as a leader, but there was one problem, I lacked empathy. When someone tried to explain something vulnerable to me, I said all the right things but there was no emotion or understanding in my words. It was a script. I did not understand what it was like to live in physical, mental, or emotional struggles until I have to live with all three. COVID-19 was a horrible year for everyone, including myself. Due to the stress of the situation, I started to control the one thing that I could- food. Counting calories, overexercising, and living off of a strict schedule created a physical, mental, and emotional jail (aka an eating disorder) that I could not escape. Luckily, I have been working hard over the past six months to heal. Anorexia recovery was not just about gaining weight, it was about gaining my life, memories, and myself. I learned that I am a hilarious person and love to help others. I started to become obsessed with getting stronger, not skinnier. I proudly started my Instagram, TikTok, and podcast to help others like my past self, struggling with mental health. I would consider myself a mentor for my followers and my friends. I try to be positive both online and offline. I show people that mental health issues often are hidden, since like myself, many other teens have stellar grades and perfect activities, but their minds are struggling. I erase the stigma of asking for help since we all need it sometimes! I educate everyone on ways that you can live a happier and healthier life that will support your physical, mental, and emotional needs. Ultimately, I want to help everyone become the best versions of themselves. It is possible- no matter your starting point.

I am an impulsive person; aren't we all? With technology at our fingertips, it is easy to purchase things everywhere and anytime. In our society, money barely exists. We see cash so rarely, leaning on our ApplePay and our credit cards to hide the fact that we are depleting something we do not have an abundance of- money. My dad was the first person who taught me how to have a business mindset, be patient, and understand where my money goes. He always asked the question when I was doing something I loved: "Ilana, how can you make money from this?" So, I took some of my passions and turned them into businesses. One of my favorite passions is animals, so I started to walk and pet-sit the neighborhood dogs, bringing in over $10,000 since starting that side business. Another passion is cooking and baking. When I was in 7th grade, I created a french macaron business, earning over $1,000 within a week. Finally, the last passion that I harnessed is fashion. I created an online storefront on Poshmark where anyone could buy my family's or my old or never-worn clothing. That business, still running, has made me over $15,000 and allows me to buy all the latest styles while getting rid of my old clothing. On top of making money, my dad taught me that no you still need to be smart with your money, no matter the paycheck. When there is something I want, I need to wait to see not only if I really want it, but if a sale comes around. And when in doubt, keep the receipt so you can return purchases. Finally, he taught me that money should not be feared, it is a tool that you can use for good, when managed properly.

I have always been into healthy eating. Between my mom exclusively cooking home-cooked meals and myself dabbling with vegan baked treats, there was always plenty to nibble on in our kitchen. I fell in love with superfoods while recovering from anorexia and strict calorie counting. One of the first lessons I learned while trying to heal myself is that food is medicine. Everything you eat can help you, or it can hurt you. I started to ignore the calorie counts of all foods and focus more on how it makes my body feel and the nutrients in them. However, I am still trying my best to live a balanced lifestyle and sometimes a muffin or piece of cake is what you need! I have been able to use superfoods to heal my body from the starvation it had to deal with for over two years. For my hair that fell out, I eat lots of almonds, avocado, walnuts, and salmon. The healthy fats have helped to heal my skin, hair, and nails. Not to mention that I would never turn down a delicious avocado toast! My brain has truggled throughout the past few years from lack of nourishment, so I have been feeding it as much as possible. Blueberries, acai, nuts, dark chocolate, and turmeric are some of my favorite things to boost my brain. For optimal performance for exercising, quinoa, eggs, and leafy greens such as kale have helped me to build lean muscle, run faster, and left heavier. Eating healthy can be a challenge though! One of the biggest hurdles for me is the lack of time, especially during the busy school year to eat superfoods throughout the day. By meal-prepping and having home-cooked meals, I have been able to fill my diet with healthy carbs, proteins, and veggies. For school, I pack healthy snacks for my brain such as almonds, dark chocolate, and berries to keep myself full and not running after the "junky" snacks. Finally, healthy eating should be fun! I enjoy trying out different healthy restaurants near my house and cooking. I have learned how to add lots of superfoods to my meals and make them taste even better. Over COVID I started an Instagram account (@wellnesswlana) where I post healthy recipes and wellness tips. On that account, I not only make nutrient-dense meals but also treats! Some of my recent creations have been quinoa cucumber salad with almonds and a no-bake vegan cheesecake topped with acai berries. With my passion for healthy eating, I make sure that my body and mind are never starved again!

"Just eat more," my family said, right after I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. That one phrase lead to my eating disorder coming back worse, in the midst of me using every bit of my energy to simply recover. I was always a happy and healthy kid. Nothing other than the typical teenage drama was on my mind as I entered into 2020. 2020 was going to be MY year. Until it wasn't. COVID-19 quarantine took a very large mental toll on everyone- including myself. I dealt with burnout, and then anxiety, and then add an eating disorder on top of that. My family started noticing me becoming quiet, losing my light, barely cracking a smile. They just thought that I was being the typical "hormonal teen girl." They would never guess that my smile was gone because I had no energy left...no calories left...to simply smile. Two years of being locked in a prison. It was not only a mental prison but also a physical one. I stopped growing- freezing myself in a body of a fourteen-year-old. Until the prison cracked. I was in the Dominican Republic for Christmas at a resort with my family. It was then my family realized that "eating more" was a serious struggle. Not only would I break down over everything I ate, but I would also wake up at five in the morning, to run for hours on the beach in the dark. I would swim until my lips turned blue and I was shivering, ribs shining in the hot sun. Then, I got COVID and I dropped even more weight. Coming back home after the vacation, I was in the worst shape of my life. My body retaliated, mental breakdowns happened daily, my heart was deathly slow, and I dealt with extreme hunger. I decided to tell my parents everything and ask for a therapist. Through my therapist, I have found more positive coping mechanisms for when my mind is racing. Now, I am six months into eating disorder recovery and while it is not a linear path, I am doing much better than I was. Throughout all of this, I wanted to bring awareness to eating disorders. So, I started an Instagram, TikTok, and Podcast surrounding wellness. Wellness, for me, is a healthy body and mind. Through it, I reach countless girls and guys, struggling in the ways that I struggled with and inspire them to seek help and recover. While my degree will be in dentistry, I will continue this "side-hustle" of a social media influencer that brings positivity and acceptance into a space that is often hostile. I of course, still deal with struggles. My mind still races and it is sometimes hard to just be...calm. Yet, moving my body, dabbling in art, and spending time outside are all tools that I have used to help my mind when it is struggling with a lot. Seeing a therapist on a consistent basis also helps me to unload some difficult feelings that I could not on my own. I am simply trying to become a better person, step by step and day by day. That "better person" has a clear mind, a loving heart, and simply wants to help others.

Speaking in front of the crowd, I thought I was going to die. My heart was beating so quickly, that I felt there was a hummingbird in my ribcage. Sweat trickled down my forehead and the world started to go black. The thing was, I never feared public speaking or had stage fright. Something was wrong, and I knew exactly what. I have had SVT or Supraventricular Tachycardia since middle school. Such a big name for a fairly "insignificant" condition, it has been a constant battle between trying to get help for it or hiding it from others. SVT is when a person's heart rate can have very fast palpitations, around two hundred beats per minute for no reason. You could be exercising and your heart rate would elevate even more, or you could be sitting down and all of a sudden, your heart thinks it is running a marathon. I, being the future "medical professional" that I wanted (and still want) to be, was the first person to notice and diagnose myself. I went to the cardiologist and at first, they said nothing was wrong with me. This is the first thing I noticed, doctors or medical professionals often do not take children seriously. However, they are often the first to spot something is wrong with their bodies. I spent over a year trying to convince the doctor that a heart rate skyrocketing daily for no reason, giving me fainting spells and difficulty breathing is something not normal. Luckily, after meeting with a second cardiologist, she had me wear a heart rate monitor for a month. During that month I had countless palpitations, giving the cardiologist a clear picture of what my heart was doing. I was diagnosed with SVT, and given options to alleviate the side effects, but chose to wait. There are a variety of reasons why I chose to wait, but for me, it was honestly something I wanted to learn how to deal with. At the same time, my parents were pressuring me not to take medication or go into surgery due to the cost. I knew that if I found ways to alleviate stress, which sometimes triggers the SVT, I could help. 7th grade was definitely the year where I had to learn how to deal with SVT. It was not easy. I joined the speech team and the beginning of this essay, was a real-life experience for me when trying to give my speech. The anxiety would always trigger palpitations and I would have to leave the room and calm down before finishing my speech. Having SVT ruined my confidence since I was worried that judges would mark me lower due to stopping my speech mid-way, which often happened. After a year of struggling, I spent the entire 8th-grade learning how to speak during the palpitations. I learned deep-breathing exercises and mediation which would slow my racing heart and embarrassed mind. In my freshman year, I had SVT under control. I was able to slow my heart down within a matter of a few minutes and did not need to go back to the cardiologist for medication or surgery. In the future, I want to educate others that having a disability, even if it is "invisible," does not mean it does not exist. As a medical professional (dentist), I will always listen to my younger patients and not take their words as "imagination." Finally, I want to teach others that there are other ways to deal with medical problems that sometimes require more mind work rather than pills or surgery.

Living a healthy life, for me, means living life to the fullest. Living a healthy life gives you the energy and motivation to get through the highs and lows of life. Living a healthy life allows you to have setbacks, whether physical or mental, and get back up as soon as possible. My view on living a "healthy life" drastically changed as I recovered from my anxiety and eating disorders. COVID-19 quarantine was very hard for me. From a happy, normal, teenage girl I turned into someone that battled burnout, anxiety, and anorexia. I became obsessed with being "healthy," to the point it turned unhealthy. I refused to eat out with friends, or have a piece of candy or bread. I thought that to be "healthy" I needed to exercise for hours every day, wake up at the crack of dawn, and never EVER have a rest day or ask others for help. My view on "healthy" destroyed my physical and mental health. Two years later, I started to recover from an eating disorder and also gained new insight into what is "healthy." I learned that being healthy is not always about what you eat or how much you workout, but also how you treat yourself and think about those things. If you drag yourself to the gym every single day because you absolutely despise the way your body looks...do you think that is healthy? Do you think it is healthy to obsessively count calories or refuse to eat one certain food group? Being healthy means moving your body in ways that it feels good. It means eating when hungry and listening to what your body needs. It is enjoying time spent with friends, taking care of yourself, and adequately resting and relaxing. It means living life to the fullest when amazing opportunities come up. Living healthy is this: living life to the fullest. Now, six months into eating disorder recovery, I still face bumps along the road. However, I have lave learned slowly but surely to seek help from others. I talk to my therapist, my parents, or friends when something is bothering me. Letting it out is much better than keeping it inside. I have slowly started to develop a healthier relationship with food and exercise, healing my body from the inside out. I have allows myself to enjoy time with friends, sleep enough, rest when I am tired, and crush a workout when I have lots of energy. My healthy lifestyle has lots of balance with times of rest and times of workouts, times of productivity and times of fun, times of cookies and times of salads. A healthy life is all about balance. I enjoy this "healthy lifestyle" so much that I even created an Instagram, TikTok, and podcast (@wellnesswlana) to show the world what a realistic healthy life looks like. As a "wellness influencer" I make sure to tell people that every day will look different. Living a healthy lifestyle means understanding and respecting your body and mind where it is at during that day, and doing things that will help you physically, mentally, or both. A healthy lifestyle never means restriction, it only means abundance.

"Just eat more," my family said, right after I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. That one phrase lead to my eating disorder coming back worse, in the midst of me using every bit of my energy to simply recover. I was always a happy and healthy kid. Nothing other than the typical teenage drama was on my mind as I entered into 2020. 2020 was going to be MY year. Until it wasn't. COVID-19 quarantine took a very large mental toll on everyone- including myself. I dealt with burnout, and then anxiety, and then add an eating disorder on top of that. My family started noticing me becoming quiet, losing my light, barely cracking a smile. They just thought that I was being the typical "hormonal teen girl." They would never guess that my smile was gone because I had no energy left...no calories left...to simply smile. Two years of being locked in a prison. It was not only a mental prison but also a physical one. I stopped growing- freezing myself in a body of a fourteen-year-old. Until the prison cracked. I was in the Dominican Republic for Christmas at a resort with my family. It was then my family realized that "eating more" was a serious struggle. Not only would I break down over everything I ate, but I would also wake up at five in the morning, to run for hours on the beach in the dark. I would swim until my lips turned blue and I was shivering, ribs shining in the hot sun. Then, I got COVID and I dropped even more weight. Coming back home after the vacation, I was in the worst shape of my life. My body retaliated and the prison cracked. Mental breakdowns happened every day, and I dealt with extreme hunger. I decided to tell my parents everything and insisted that I need a therapist. I am very happy to say that I am six months into anorexia recovery and my mind and body have almost healed! My experience with mental health forever shaped how I will view others. I learned to be kinder to everyone and to just give a simple smile or "hello," you never know what someone else is battling. My friends noticed my personality shift as I recovered from anorexia and love spending time with me now. I crack jokes, radiate confidence, and enjoy uplifting others. Most of my friendships and family relationships have strengthened, but I have also learned to step away from people that do not support my recovery journey. Some people have made fun of me for educating others about anorexia, and I simply ignore them. Through recovering, I have found a supportive online community of girls and guys, all trying to become the best versions of themselves! I even created an Instagram, TikTok, and podcast (@wellnesswlana) to earase the stigma of eating disorders, give realistic wellness tips, and challenge those who are struggling to eat foods they avoid (such as bread or candy for example) and/or go to therapy. I view the world as not some hostile place, but somewhere where people can find common ground and give each other love and support. Looking at how my mental health has impacted my goals, they have drastically changed. From wanting to be the skinniest and perfect to simply wanting to be strong, happy, and healthy- my long-term goals have changed. I want to make an impact to the people around me and set a good example for my friends and siblings. I want to be truly happy and be able to cope with negative emotions in a positive way. I want to be strong and never-ever, go back to the person I was half a year ago. I want to be so happy that others will turn around and ask me...why are you always SO happy? Then I can share the power of loving yourself, healing yourself, and viewing the world as a place of love and fellowship.

Summer started which means no school, no homework, no activities, but lots of scholarships! Scholarships, love them or hate them, are often the only way that many of us can afford college. I started writing scholarships in my junior year and try to do a few every single week. Over the past few months, I definitely learned a lot about applying for scholarships. One of the first things I discovered is to just try! You never know if you are going to win something or will just receive a scholarship for amazing grades, so why not try? Doing this has helped me gain confidence when applying for any type of scholarship, whether it is a smaller scholarship talking about "What I have learned about applying for scholarships?" or a very large scholarship that requires months of planning and writing, I am now confident to take the plunge. Another thing I learned is to be yourself. I think a lot of students put on a "mask" when applying for scholarships and this honestly works against them. It is important to show anyone who is reading your personality and character. Use your life experiences and opinions to bolster all of your scholarship applications. Third, apply for scholarships that not only align with your values but that are also fun! I have applied for a lot of scholarships around science majors, mental health, and wellness since these are all things that I am passionate about. Writing about something you already have lots of background knowledge about will not only automatically give you things to write about but also be interesting for you. I noticed when I write about one of my passions, I am more likely to finish the scholarship application and do another one, rather than forcing myself to write about something that I could care less on. Finally, I learned how to be concise. I have always "over-written" essays in middle school, high school, and now college. Applying to scholarships, especially those with word limits, has taught me that quality is more important than quantity. If you can use only a few paragraphs to explain something, rather than a few pages, you are more likely to have more readers and keep people engaged. Being concise, clear, and focusing on good grammar are not only good skills for applying to scholarships or school but will help me in my professional career and beyond! Scholarships do not have to be complex or a "big deal." Often, they require just a little bit of work, can be fun, and you can benefit a lot- even if you do not win the actual scholarship. The skills that you learn now, from scholarships, will help you in the future and I think that is more valuable for your career and beyond.

"Just eat more," my family said, right after I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. That one phrase lead to my eating disorder coming back worse, in the midst of me using every bit of my energy to simply recover. I was always a happy and healthy kid. Nothing other than the typical teenage drama was on my mind as I entered into 2020. 2020 was going to be MY year. Until it wasn't. COVID-19 quarantine took a very large mental toll on everyone- including myself. I dealt with burnout, and then anxiety, and then add an eating disorder on top of that. My family started noticing me becoming quiet, losing my light, barely cracking a smile. They just thought that I was being the typical "hormonal teen girl." They would never guess that my smile was gone because I had no energy left...no calories left...to simply smile. Two years of being locked in a prison. It was not only a mental prison but also a physical one. I stopped growing- freezing myself in a body of a fourteen-year-old. Until the prison cracked. I was in the Dominican Republic for Christmas at a resort with my family. It was then my family realized that "eating more" was a serious struggle. Not only would I break down over everything I ate, but I would also wake up at five in the morning, to run for hours on the beach in the dark. I would swim until my lips turned blue and I was shivering, ribs shining in the hot sun. Then, I got COVID and I dropped even more weight. Coming back home after the vacation, I was in the worst shape of my life. My body retaliated and the prison cracked. Mental breakdowns happened every day, and I dealt with extreme hunger. I decided to tell my parents everything and insisted that I need a therapist. I am very happy to say that I am six months into anorexia recovery and my mind and body have almost healed! My experience with mental health forever shaped how I will view others. I learned to be kinder to everyone and to just give a simple smile or "hello," you never know what someone else is battling. My friends noticed my personality shift as I recovered from anorexia and love spending time with me now. I crack jokes, radiate confidence, and enjoy uplifting others. Most of my friendships and family relationships have strengthened, but I have also learned to step away from people that do not support my recovery journey. Some people have made fun of me for educating others about anorexia, and I simply ignore them. Through recovering, I have found a supportive online community of girls and guys, all trying to become the best versions of themselves! I even created an Instagram, TikTok, and podcast (@wellnesswlana) to earase the stigma of eating disorders, give realistic wellness tips, and challenge those who are struggling to eat foods they avoid (such as bread or candy for example) and/or go to therapy. Looking at how my mental health has impacted my beliefs: my faith in Jesus has grown stronger. It is through the Bible I have found verses to see myself in a different, less critical lense. Almost recovered, I have the energy to attend church, pay attention to sermons, and talk with lots of people after the service. I have the energy to finally live! Finally, my career aspirations have stayed relatively the same. I always knew that I wanted to help others since I was a little girl. Over the past few years, I have focused on dentistry as a field that I want to work in. While that reigns true for my full-time job, I also want to continue my social media accounts and podcast. The people I uplift through my content make my day, and being honest, making content is very fun! I want people to smile. Not just smile because I fix their teeth, but smile because they know that they are not alone! You are never alone in your struggles and there are people out there who understand. Whether I make an impact in my dental office, online, or both- I know the purpose of my life would have been fulfilled. To simply understand and help others.

"Just eat more," my family said, right after I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. That one phrase lead to my eating disorder coming back worse, in the midst of me using every bit of my energy to simply recover. I was always a happy and healthy kid. Nothing other than the typical teenage drama was on my mind as I entered into 2020. 2020 was going to be MY year. Until it wasn't. COVID-19 quarantine took a very large mental toll on everyone- including myself. I dealt with burnout, and then anxiety, and then add an eating disorder on top of that. My family started noticing me becoming quiet, losing my light, barely cracking a smile. They just thought that I was being the typical "hormonal teen girl." They would never guess that my smile was gone because I had no energy left...no calories left...to simply smile. Two years of being locked in a prison. It was not only a mental prison but also a physical one. I stopped growing- freezing myself in a body of a fourteen-year-old. Until the prison cracked. I was in the Dominican Republic for Christmas at a resort with my family. It was then my family realized that "eating more" was a serious struggle. Not only would I break down over everything I ate, but I would also wake up at five in the morning, to run for hours on the beach in the dark. I would swim until my lips turned blue and I was shivering, ribs shining in the hot sun. Then, I got COVID and I dropped even more weight. Coming back home after the vacation, I was in the worst shape of my life. My body retaliated, mental breakdowns happened daily, my heart was deathly slow, and I dealt with extreme hunger. I decided to tell my parents everything and ask for a therapist. Through my therapist, I have find more positive coping mechanisms for when my mind is racing. Now, I am six months into eating disorder recovery and while it is not a linear path, I am doing much better than I was. When things are not going right, I love to move my body. I work out almost every-day. Instead of working out as a "punishment" for my body as I did in the past, I use working out as a way to feel strong. There is something therapeutic about lifting weights and blasting music that just helps me deal with some tough thoughts. I also love to color or do art. This might sound very backward for the "type A" personality that I am, but sometimes using the creative part of my brain helps me to calm down. Finally, I love to be outside in nature- specifically gardening. Getting dirty and coming so close to our planet does something to your mind and soul that help to still it and help you enjoy the moment. I of course, still deal with struggles. My mind still races and it is sometimes hard to just be...calm. Yet, moving my body, dabbling in art, and spending time outside are all tools that I have used to help my mind when it is struggling with a lot. Seeing a therapist on a consistent basis also helps me to unload some difficult feelings that I could not on my own. I am simply trying to become a better person, step by step and day by day. That "better person" has a clear mind, a loving heart, and a strong soul.

"Just eat more," my family said, right after I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. That one phrase lead to my eating disorder coming back worse, in the midst of me using every bit of my energy to simply recover. I was always a happy and healthy kid. Nothing other than the typical teenage drama was on my mind as I entered into 2020. 2020 was going to be MY year. Until it wasn't. COVID-19 quarantine took a very large mental toll on everyone- including myself. I dealt with burnout, and then anxiety, and then add an eating disorder on top of that. My family started noticing me becoming quiet, losing my light, barely cracking a smile. They just thought that I was being the typical "hormonal teen girl." They would never guess that my smile was gone because I had no energy left...no calories left...to simply smile. Two years of being in this prison, until the prison cracked. I was in the Dominican Republic for Christmas at a resort with my family. It was then my family realized that "eating more" was a serious struggle. Not only would I break down over everything I ate, but I would also wake up at five in the morning, to run for hours on the beach in the dark. I would swim until my lips turned blue and I was shivering, ribs shining in the hot sun. Coming back home after the vacation, I was in the worst shape of my life. My body retaliated, mental breakdowns happened daily, and I dealt with extreme hunger. I decided to tell my parents everything and that I needed a therapist. Six months later, I am finally recovering. For those struggling, tell someone and find a professional. Do not wait. Your life is worth living.

"Cheer up," is the one phrase that almost anyone going through a tough time hears. Unfortunately, that is not a helpful saying when you are drowning in worry, depression, the loss of a loved one, and fear. "Cheering up," is much easier said than done, but it is possible- even if you think otherwise. I was always such a serious kid. Growing up, I was the "mother" of the friend group, the "perfect" student, and the "responsible" daughter. I took care of everything in my color-coded planner and everything was going well...until it wasn't. COVID-19 quarantine took a huge mental toll on me and I dealt with burnout, anxiety, and an eating disorder all at the same time. I was taking care of other people, but ignoring myself and my personality. During this time, I lost my optimism. I always saw the glass as "half empty," and never would crack a joke or smile. I was numb. However, luckily, over the past few months, I have worked hard to truly learn who I am. What do I like? What is my personality like? I learned that I am absolutely hilarious, and I love the way my voice sounds. I love my smile and I love how I can make other people feel better about themselves just by giving a compliment. I love chatting with the workers at Starbucks and giving some change to a homeless man on the side of the street. I love all of these things because, in them, I am happy, and I make a difference in someone else's happiness. TImes still get tough, but I learned that if I pay attention to my joyful personality and find ways to uplift others, while still taking care of myself, I can stay optimistic and spread a little too.

"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world."- Nelson Mandela "What do you think of Putin?", a classmate asked curiously, right at the start of Russia's invasion of Ukraine. "So are you Russian, or Ukrainian?", a teacher asked me just a week later. "You're Russian right? Wow, you guys are so horrible." a friend exclaimed. Ever since February, my family and I have been bombarded with all types of questions. Apparently, since having friends and family on both sides of the border, we must know everything regarding the invasion. Unfortunately, they were no longer innocent questions but threats and prejudice. My grandma was refused service in a pharmacy, just for getting out her phone and translating a question from Russian to English. My parents, scared because of their accents, now ask me to speak in stores, airports, and restraunts- since I do not have an accent. My aunt quickly changed her "Russian" last name to an American one. By May, I was so tired of the treatment and lack of understanding that I , inspired by my favorite quote decided to take things into my own hands. I used the one weapon I had - education- to explain to people that they cannot base one entire ethnicity, on the basis of one president. When the questions or prejudice arose, I would calmly explain that my family and I just wanted the war to end. In fact, almost all Russians and Ukrainians want the war to end. Russia and Ukraine were once one country, one people, and one culture, and the remnants of blended families and friends remain. Quite literally, brother is fighting brother. Keeping up to date on news, I highlight certain news channels that might be swinging too far into one direction or the other and avoid them. I make sure to contact friends and family on the front lines to have an unbiased understanding of what is going on. Over the past few months, I have shown up for both the Russian and Ukrainian communities and defended them by educating others. The common people on both sides have done nothing wrong, so punishing or threatening them in our country- where everyone is supposed to be equal- is not alright. My grandma is not the one who initiated the war, and neither are my parents or myself. We, just like everyone else, want a more peaceful world. Showing up for both of these communities has really taught me what it feels like to be hated and misunderstood by your own people, simply by the language you speak and the culture you come from. I have experienced and witnessed unspeakable actions done against my community and am doing everything in my power to be a leader. I am stronger, more knowledgeable about my ancestors, from both sides, and more vocal about the importance of peace. Education is my weapon, and I will continue using it to bring light into communities that are so deeply woven together.

My family always exclaimed, "Ilana, you are so obsessed with animals," and that statement could not be more true. As a little girl, I would march to the stables to ride horses and sneak them treats through the wooden stall doors. Horses, however, were not enough for me. Every single birthday, I asked for a pet or pet supplies. When I was seven, I purchased an entire fish tank and filled it with my favorite fish. After begging my parents for years, they finally purchased a family dog right in time for my eighth birthday. For my ninth birthday, I bought a hamster and made him a very large cage by hand. Finally, for my twelfth birthday, I adopted two guinea pig siblings. All of my animals, whether swimming calmly in a tank or squeaking on their wheel late at night, I absolutely adored. I took such good care of all of my animals that all of them are still alive and have greatly surpassed their life expectancy. When I went on vacation, just watch out, since all of my pets came with a five-page instruction manual and YouTube videos on how to do everything "just right." So yes, I love animals, but that love grew during quarantine. I almost like to say that my pets saved me when no one else could. When the world went into lockdown, I started to deal with anxiety and an eating disorder. I started to loathe my personality and quite literally, myself. I became very antisocial and closed-off from my family and friends. Yet, my pets still loved me. My fish still swam up to the tank when it was time to feed them, my horses nuzzled me after a tough day, and my dog still didn't hesitate to nudge me when I was getting too into my thoughts and forgot to throw his ball. Even now, when I am struggling with some negative feelings, I always go to animals since they are my therapists. They love me with all of my flaws, and always come running (or swimming) back with pure joy. Animals are incredible creatures, and it pains me to see that some people abuse them or use animals for their personal gain. My pets saved my life and I owe it to them for my eating disorder recovery. This is why I am passionate about animal advocacy. Animals should not be abused in a home, used as testers for cosmetics, or ruthlessly killed in slaughterhouses. Animals make such a positive impact on everyone, that they should be treated with kindness and respect.

Since school just finished and summer is starting, I finally have time to reconnect with all of my hobbies. Outside of studying and school-sponsored activities, I like to fill-my-cup from many different things. Between music, art, exercise, reading, and baking, there is so much I like to do! When it comes to art, there is nothing I love more than playing the piano. My parents forced me to play the piano as a kid, but as I have grown up and entered high school, I used it as my outlet for expressing emotions. When it comes to other types of "art," I love learning calligraphy, coloring, and even painting- however, I must warn you that I am no good at any of those. Hobbies are not for you to be "great" at something, it is simply something for you to enjoy. I am a very anxious person and fell in love with working out during the pandemic. I have kept up weightlifting, stretching, and walking. I love getting stronger and moving my body in ways that feel good! I also started to dabble in healthy baking and cooking. Not only did I build a healthier lifestyle for myself, but now I share it through my social media accounts (@wellnesswlana) and podcast to hopefully inspire others to live their best lives. Reading is also a huge hobby of mine. I have started to read at least twenty minutes every single day since the start of high school and I never looked back. I enjoy all types of books and genres! Finally, I love spending time in nature. There is nothing that sometimes outside cannot fix. Gardening is one of the many activities I like to do outside. It not only connects me with the planet but with my soul.

I admire Jesus- but not just because I am Christian. I think a lot of people assume that you have to have a certain faith just to admire historical leaders, but I would beg to differ. In fact, I take life lessons from all of the "religious leaders" such as Muhamed and Buddha, aside from Jesus. All of these religious leaders were so passionate about their faith that ignoring them due to social norms is a shame. Jesus, whether you believe him to be the son of God or just a preacher, was an incredible person. His thoughts on outcasts, "sinners", the sick, and women were revolutionary at a time when polarity was at a high. For example, there have been accounts in the Bible and other religious texts that he healed a leper. Whether you believe in that or not, Jesus was around the sick, a group of people generally avoided by the public at the time and considered "outcasts." Jesus ate with "sinners," or in other words, the people that everyone else hated. He would dine with tax collectors and others that he did not agree with. Jesus treated women with so much respect, that many historians and preachers agree that he was a feminist for his time. He did not view women or men as different and treated them equally. Finally, Jesus treated everyone with love and respect, especially the outcasts of society. It is hard in such a divided world to treat everyone with kindness. Stereotypes, disagreements, politics, and more all separate "us" from "them." Jesus, at his time, was someone that broke that social barrier and simply tried to be kind. In my life today, I am trying to follow his example and show unconditional love to everyone, no matter the social norms.

I think we do not talk about burnout enough in our society. Starting in elementary school, I put immense pressure on myself to be perfect. Perfect grades, perfect friends, perfect hobbies, and perfect life. I was burned out for so long that I could not remember what it was like to not be burned out. It was only until COVID-19 that I learned how important self-care and relaxation were. In March of 2020, everything shut down. I, along with the rest of my friends was so glad! Spring is the busiest season for me with school and lots of activities coming to a close, and having this "extended Spring Break" seemed like a dream come true; until the "extended Spring break" turned into distance learning for over two years. I was so lost during the initial months of quarantine and refused to let myself rest, that I started to busy myself with exercise and nutrition. Two months later and I already had an eating disorder and the world did not know about it. I was able to control my emotions and my mental health- to the point that my family did not realize anything was wrong until one year after, starting in 2021. I simply could not rest and was not only abusing my physical health, but also my mental health. Now, I have reached out for help and regularly go to therapy. I love exercising but instead of using it as a way to "stay busy," I do workouts that I enjoy. Recently, I have been into weight-lifting and stretching, both very therapeutic for my body and mind. I also love to read, bake, and spend time with family and friends. Finally, if I am still stressed and down, there is nothing that spending time in nature cannot fix.

I have always been called an "old soul." In church, school, or on the street, I would always prefer to strike up a conversation with an adult or elderly person, rather than someone my age. The elderly have so much wisdom and it is easy to forget about them in our "fast-paced" world. The elderly person that I help the most, however, is my grandma and her friends. My grandma, along with her friends, is part of a tight-knit community of Russian and Ukrainian immigrants. While the news says that those two nationalities hate each other, I would beg to differ. Speaking similar languages, all the elderly women and men share recipes, coupons, and stories of their past. While I have always enjoyed spending time with them, I have now been given the opportunity to be my grandma's caretaker as she goes through surgery. The simple things such as cooking, cleaning, and translating for her are no problem for me to help. Rather, it is the discrimination she and her friends face that I have to battle daily. The frowns in the grocery stores for speaking Russian, being taken advantage of at the doctor's office, random increases in rent for just them, and slurs are just some of the issues they deal with. I do my best to deal with these problems in the best way- through education. I explain that they have nothing to do or support with the situation in Ukraine and that many of them have family or are still from there. I try to explain that taking advantage of someone due to a stereotype is wrong, no matter their race or ethnicity. I may be a 17-year-old girl, but in my own way, I raise my voice and speak for those who cannot.

I never thought that I would deal with mental health struggles. As a goal-oriented perfectionist with perfect grades, the perfect family, and the "perfect" life, I was unstoppable. I was- until COVID-19. Quarantine was so hard on me mentally and the loss of control so provoking, that I started to control the one thing that I could, my body. Becoming obsessed and anxious about food and exercise in the name of "health," I was a prisoner to my mind. Quickly, I started to disappear, physically and mentally. The toxic thoughts, body dysmorphia, and anxiety were real issues, but I thought nothing was wrong. It took me two years for my family and myself to realize that I needed help. Being "over-controlling" around food, exercise, and my schedule hurt my physical health, my mental health, my friends, and my family. I was ashamed, as such a high-achieving student, to admit that something was wrong and I had to reach out for support. I took the initiative and told my mom that I need a therapist, at least for a while, until I can heal both my mind and my body. Now, after roughly three months of intense "personal" growth and recovery, I am stronger and happier than I have been in a very long time. I have gained weight and am slowly re-building my health. I enjoy going to a therapist to talk about internal struggles and insecurities. I am enjoying time with friends, sometimes losing control, and enjoying things as they come. Because my journey started as a restrictive, controlling prison in the name of "health", I decided that social media needed someone realistic to show what a truly healthy lifestyle can look like. There is a lot of information out there and I want to help girls (and guys) who want to become healthier, happier, stronger, and more successful without destroying their physical, mental, or emotional health. I have started an Instagram and Tiktok, @wellnesswlana, where I post daily motivational content that also inspires people to be the best versions of themselves. However, I make sure to show realistic content as well! Sometimes, I sleep in, am feeling down, or am having a "bad hair day," and I show people that it is normal. It is normal not to look "picture-perfect" every single minute, it is normal to sometimes cry, and it is normal to not have a flat stomach after eating. I am showing my vulnerabilities to hopefully, help someone like me, who thought that I had to be one way in the name of "health." I also started a podcast to give my followers a more in-depth "chat" on fitness myths, wellness tips, and lifestyle. My podcast combines education with entertainment so not only is it fun to listen to, but every single subscriber gets something out of the episode. My "community" is not my hometown. It is not even the United States. My "community" is all of the girls and guys that want to become the happiest and healthiest versions of themselves while also balancing fun. I have found a "community" in people all over America, Canada, Europe, and Australia. I hope in these next few months, my podcast and social media accounts grow so more people know that you can live a healthy lifestyle in abundance and not under restriction. You can feel down some days, but you can feel on top of the world on others. You can balance productivity and rest. You can be unstoppable, no matter your internal battles.

I read many books. When I say "many" I mean roughly one-hundred every single year. I love reading! It not only teaches me how to read quickly, but it gives me a new perspective on life and is a good way to pass time (and avoid scrolling on my phone). While I cannot say with certainty my all time favorite book, my favorite book of this year is "American Dirt" by Jeanine Cummings. "American Dirt" is a book that opened by eyes about immigration, a struggle that is near to my heart due to the fact that I am a first-generation American. Lydia, a mother, and her son Luca, are trying to run away from their Acapulco, Mexico home to the US after the father and family are ruthlessly murdered by a drug-cartel. This drug-cartel was after the Luca's father, a journalist, after publishing "leaked" information about the cartel. Lydia had a comfortable life running a bookstore and pitied the news of migrants running away from home, but she never realized she would become a migrant herself. Along their journey to the US they come along other migrants such as Soledad and Rebeca, two sisters. With all money lost and lives risked, Lydia, Luca, Soledad, and Rebeca all make it to the United States and settle in Maryland. With all of the news regarding Mexican immigrants, I think it is important to educate ourselves on this topic. Most Mexican immigrants are not purposely trying to illegally enter a country or break the law. Many of them are trying to escape oppression. This book showed me the "inside mind" of a migrant, escaping Mexico for a better life.

The biggest problem facing the world is the lack of communication, empathy, and understanding. With everything going on, especially after COVID, people forgot how to resolve tension without the use of violence or threats. Leaders and citizens fail to emphasize and try to see things from a different perspective. This not only causes issues in personal lives, but also can be echoed throughout politics, the economy, and the medical field. In my life, arguments with my siblings, parents, and friends might not seem problematic. However, this lack of communication is destructive, especially in my future where arguments have higher stakes, not just arguing over who got grandma's last cookie. Stepping out of your shoes and walking a mile in someone else's, can help you learn and gain a broader understanding of where the person is coming from. For a while, this was difficult for me. I thought that I understood everyone and everything coming my way. However, after dealing with mental health struggles at the start of the pandemic, I learned empathy on a deeper level. Now, when someone is anxious or upset, I know how to help them. I had to go through my own problems to understand others. On a larger scale, events such as Russia's invasion of Ukraine, the Roe vs Wade leaked documents, and the pandemic were all markers of the lack of communication and understanding between presidents, world leaders, and ordinary people. To the president, to the CEO, to the regular teacher;, use your life experiences to see things from a different perspective. Get out of your bubble and challenge your beliefs and thoughts to help others. And if it seems impossible, remember that if I can resolve conflicts with my siblings- a nearly impossible task- you can too, resolve conflict.

I was always known as the "health nut" by all of my friends. Eating healthy, exercising, and resting were and still are, important parts of my life. However, all of that quickly changed. At the beginning of COVID-19, I think we can all agree that everyone's mental health was on the decline. Due to the loss of control and school shutting down, I started to cope with these changes in "healthy" ways. Constantly working out and eating clean, I became obsessed. This is what led me to develop anorexia. I did not know I developed an eating disorder till around one year later, starting in 2021. I knew something was off. With the compulsive exercise and the fear of eating anything not "healthy", I took health and wellness to an extreme. Fortunately, since the start of this year, I have truly focused on my mental health. Having to admit to my family and friends that I needed a therapist was an extremely humbling experience. I was always the "perfect" child but now, I am having to deal with my "imperfect" problems. I realized that everyone has some sort of mental block, whether that manifests itself into an eating disorder, depression, anxiety, or constant doubt, we all have small things that limit us from living our healthiest and happiest lives. Now, I view food and exercise as enjoyable parts of my life, not anxieties or punishments. I learned from these past two years that health is not just how much you exercise or how "clean" you eat. Health is being happy in your own skin, sleeping extra when you need it but also spending time with friends. Eating the salad when you crave something crisp but not feeling guilty about the pizza. Health is this: living life to the fullest.

My life is a complete roller-coaster, and I would not trade that for the world! All of the experiences that I have had, good and bad, have made me into who I am today. Bucket lists are for people who, like me, like to plan and get excited about the future. I have so much on my bucket list, that it actually is difficult to try and narrow just a few things down. Regarding my education and career, I want to major in biochemistry and minor in business. I also want to move away from home at this time and learn how to be independent and live on my own! Let's just hope that within the few years, I learn how to cook things that are not just mac and cheese. With hopes of entering into dental school and then opening my practice, all the science and business classes are going to be necessary. Spending a semester abroad is also a big dream of mine. One of the biggest things on my "education" book list that I accomplish annually is reading one-hundred books. Reading has truly become a passion of mine. I also am graduating high school with a 4.0 which has been on my bucket list ever since I was little. Regarding other experiences on my bucket list, like everyone, I want to travel the world! I want to go all over Europe, South America, and Asia with my siblings during our college years. Not only will we grow closer in our relationship but also learn so much! Finally, my bucket list item that I am working daily towards is simply being happy using self-care and therapy. Quarantine was especially hard on my mental health and I think we all learned how important connection and health truly were.