I do not intentionally live my life by quotations. That's not to say I don't recognize the utility of a good quote, but listening verbatim to someone else's words seems like a disservice to myself. However, my late grandfather lived by the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling and made sure that I aspired to its teachings without ever telling me about the poem (my mother pointed this out after the fact). Here's the poem in its entirety: "If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream—and not make dreams your master; If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’ If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it, And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!" As I interpret my grandfather's interpretation, this poem espouses honesty to the self and others, along with a certain detachment from the material world and cultural expectations. I learned to treat everyone with the same respect because of this poem. I also learned that I'm fallible, but can learn to do better. I learned not to flaunt anything, except when necessary. And finally, I learned to persevere. Through my grandfather's long and storied life, he always persevered and did what would improve his quality of life. He married outside his faith (he was a Jew), moved to Arkansas from Chicago to raise goats, which the KKK took away for "safety violations", constantly pursued new experiences, ran and lost multiple small businesses, and then raised goats again. He knew he wanted a good life and took it, and so will I.

Before I say anything else, it’s important to know that I’m a creature of flight and fancy. My favorite thing is to learn about and experience things I never have before. More than anything, I don’t want my life to become stale. I live from day-to-day anticipating whatever I chance upon. To this point, I see college and a professional career as a means to an end. Dreaming to work is a waste of human potential and drive. My plan for employment is to maintain a career I don’t hate that gives me time to live my life. That’s part of why I chose computer science, and particularly cybersecurity. You see, the father of my best friend is a well-regarded professional in the same field. I won’t say his name here, since dropping names is a bit of a faux pas. However, as long as I’ve known him, he’s always worked from home. He has the time and the pay to do what he enjoys, and engage with his family and the world around him. I understand that time is a luxury, but it’s the luxury I want. I want to waste time watching the insects outside my window, creating art, and sharing what I see and hear. I want to learn esoteric knowledge from people I know and people I’ve just met. I know that wasting time isn’t a common goal among my peers, who usually wish to advance their field or carry ambitions to control their field. I don’t want to disregard those ambitions either. However, I think they sort of miss the point. Controlling even a portion of your field also gives you some control of your life, and the luxury to focus on what you want. The same with entrepreneurship and scientific advancement. That what I think my peers are drawing their enjoyment from and that’s perfectly reasonable. Frankly, it’s more responsible than my goal as well. I’ll admit that I’m not using enough caution, and that I’m naive. That’s the joy of youth. On the subject of my peers, I don’t think I’m the best candidate for any scholarship. Frankly, I think it’s cruel that we students need them at all. Spending time paying off student debt robs us of the time we need to simply enjoy life and pursue what we enjoy. Why must we compete and inflate ourselves for the right to happiness? I don’t want people to be unhappy for my sake just as much as I want a peaceful and interesting life. However, this scholarship would help me achieve my goal by lessening my debt, and hopefully, the amount of time I spent at work.