I love the freedom that comes with creating artwork. When I was younger, I used to think my style had to fit in or look similar to others for my work to get more appreciation. I would force myself to have different approaches toward art while burning myself out and comparing my work to others. It upsets me that I wasted the majority of my teenage years trying to fit in, but I’m grateful that I found my style near the closure of 2021. An art style that speaks to my personality and one that I feel comfortable and confident drawing in. Over time, I realized what I had been doing wrong. I spent years trying to fit into the art field because I thought my style had to fit a certain standard, such as realism. I would have thoughts like this because I wanted people to take my work seriously and I believed that in order to do that, I had to draw a certain way. Eventually, I came to realize that it was not for me, and I wanted to draw in a way that was true to myself. My style consists of art style combinations from different television shows I saw when I was a kid. With my current artwork, I want to embrace more of my style as I present it to the world even if I draw things that people are not used to seeing on a television screen. I believe that it’s important to embrace your personal style because there’s nothing wrong with seeing a unique style on book covers, illustrations, and television screens. In fact, it’s better to see newer styles from people in the art and animation industry. It could always help someone struggling to find their own style or gain inspiration. The more new and different styles presented to the public help artists not feel pressured into trying to draw in common styles they see every day if, genuinely, they don’t want to. Unrealistic artwork is still considered art if you put your creative ideas into it. I find that for me, it helps give me the freedom to draw emotions, designs, and features in myself and my characters instead of hiding them. It allows these styles to be espoused, which is why it’s so important for me and other people to see. Not only that, our next generation of children can be more exposed to the variety of styles that can be presented to the world.

Art and animation are two things I’m very passionate about. I started my art journey when I was nine years old just reusing old composition notebooks. It didn’t matter if they had already been used for schoolwork, I used all the extra pages that were spared to write mini stories with small illustrations. Eventually, I moved to drawing on printed sheets of paper and hanging them on the living room walls where everyone could see. When I got my first phone, at twelve, I searched for any drawing app I could find in the app store. I knew that with digital art, I would have unlimited resources and canvases to use and it would save a lot of money because art supplies could easily get expensive. For five years straight, I continued to build on my drawing skills by practicing every day. There was not one day that I went without adding at least an extra spark to my work. Over time, I began to see lots of improvement and it gave me the slight confidence to try out animation. Not only that, but the thought of making my stories come to life excited me, so I wanted to try to animate. I quickly realized how difficult it was with such a small device and no drawing pen. This didn’t stop me from trying, I just did the best I could with what I had at the moment until I was able to save enough money for a real drawing tablet. It wasn’t until my last year of high school that I was able to buy myself a tablet. I was slightly upset about it at first because it felt like I brought it up so late compared to other artists, but at the same time it was a significant accomplishment for me and it felt like I surpassed a milestone I’d been waiting years to complete. I would set many different goals as a teenager based on the art activities I wanted to complete. Still, I would usually have to push it aside until I would be able to afford the necessary items. For example, I’ve been wanting to open my own shop since I was sixteen. I could always see my artwork as pins, stickers, prints, pottery or keychains etcetera. But as I watched several videos on what I needed as a start-up, I put the goal off to the side because I knew I didn’t have enough to constantly buy the supplies I needed. So in the meantime, I would continue brainstorming ideas and building my audience both on social media and in the outside world so that whenever I am ready, I have people who are willing to support me. I have my mom who is willing to help me pay for my college expenses by attempting to get back into the workforce after a car accident that left her in bad shape, but I don’t want her to worry about trying to help if she’s still disabled from the accident. In reality, she needs to rest, especially t being near retirement age a. This scholarship will help me be able to afford the supplies I need to begin selling my art pieces in a shop that will attract the right people now that I’ve built an audience who loves my work. Having something like this as a side hobby during college may help me afford to pay for my expenses when my shop becomes a reality.

I started animation for fun to enhance my illustrations little by little. I was animating small movements such as blinking and lip-syncing. A few years back, I began to expand on my animations, but it was difficult because I was only using a phone to draw at the time and I would never have any space to detail my work as much as I wanted to. Right before winter break started, I remember sitting at my desk debating if I should attend Saturday animation classes at the University of Arts; I wasn’t sure if I had the full potential to be an animator due to my circumstances. I was in my afterschool program as I reviewed the requirements for the Saturday classes when one of my guidance teachers came in to check on me. He had given me a form to be completed when I first attended the program in late September. It was one of those template sheets that contained questions asking about your personal and academic goals five years from now, ten years from now, etcetera. One of the answers I put down was to get better at animating. He asked me if I’ve been acting on any of the goals listed on the sheet and I told him that I’ve been struggling to work on that animation goal. Although my phone is a small device I still wanted to try, but the app I had been using to animate from time to time was not adequate for what I was trying to achieve. At the time I had been looking for different apps to try, and the one that I wanted was just five dollars. I saw that it came with handy tools and things that will help lessen my struggles. Unfortunately when I was trying to buy the app, with my own money, the transaction would not go through; I became frustrated after several attempts to processand gave up trying. I told my teacher about this situation and he was kind enough to purchase the app for me. I thanked him and let him know how happy this made me, but I also expressed my doubts about moving forward. I wasn’t truly ready to move forward until I started talking more about an ideal film I wanted to plan back in August. But because I had the new animation app, it motivated me to talk about it to him more. And the more I expressed my passions for this film, the more I was able to receive help and advice from him and finally be able to begin preparation for my first animated film.

"Show and Tell" by Melanie Martinez can be interpreted by people in several different ways. It's a song about how people are treated differently from one another because they have things that others do not. Because of that, people would treat others as if they are an object, displays,s or trophies to show off. I didn't really think that I could relate to this song because most people would say the lyrics were about how Martinez was treated horribly as a celebrity. No one would respect her boundaries, people be inconsiderate of her feelings, etc. But recently I relistened to the full song again and when listening to the lyrics more closely, I came to a realization that I also could relate. I may not be a celebrity, but I am a person who is hard of hearing. As I got older, I learned to advocate for myself more and not let my disability get in the way of doing things. I've been more open toward others by letting them know how to accommodate me properly and speak on the things they should and should not do around me. People have been extremely accepting and helpful toward me throughout high school and it made me think back to middle school where it was nothing like this. I didn't realize it then, but I see now that people used to only see me as a display. They would try to yell in my ear to see if my hearing loss was true, touch all of my equipment without asking, and some would even talk to me about my disability and would mention it whenever they could, even during the most unnecessary times. Now looking back at the time, I truly wish I was known for something other than my hearing loss.

I love the freedom that comes with creating artwork. I used to think when I was younger, my style had to fit in or look similar to others simply because I got my first rejection back when applying to high school. I then learned that I was better off not attending that high school. After all, I learned that it wasn’t a good fit for me because I didn’t have a real style of my own. I would force myself to have many different approaches toward art while burning myself out and comparing my work to others. I am upset about wasting the majority of my teenage years trying to fit in, but I’m grateful that I found my style near the closure of 2021. A style that screams my personality and is humorous to all ages. Being a cartoonist allows me to show freedom of emotions, designs, and features in myself and my characters instead of hiding them.

Two years ago, I thought that I would never be able to host any collaborations by myself. I had dreams, but typically they'd be doubted. I wanted to change that at the start of 2022 and embrace my hidden skills more. I knew that my goal to become an animator for work would be challenging due to the competitive people in the art field. But none of that mattered to me at the beginning of January 2022 when I put my foot down and decided I was going to make an animated film. I realized that I would continue to be far from my goal if I didn't eventually do something about it. When I started my creation, I had to work with the things and people I had around. Even though I was afraid to ask for voice actors and had limited resources, I still made things work because I always believed I could do anything I set my mind to. My goal was to create an animated film that children of all ages could learn from. It was one of the reasons why I considered keeping myself as a cartoonist. It was fun to have endless options of how I want my pieces to look. Most children watch cartoons because they're silly, fun, and exaggerated. I want to take those elements and combine them with real-life lessons people can learn from or create stories that are relatable. Since I've started this film, I feel more confident about producing others in the future. With the help of my friends, family, and supporters, I can create these large projects that people and myself can admire. I am slowly training myself to create short movies and shows that are enjoyable to watch on big-screen TVs. I have a long way to go and obstacles to overcome, but my first animated film is just the beginning of my new journey.

Being in the art field causes you to get many rejections in life, and I had to learn this on my own. However, I wouldn't have given up if it wasn't for my older sister. I always admired the positivity she gave off, even if times were tough for her. She went from living in a family's basement to living in her dream home with her two children, now ready to kickoff with her fashion business. I love that through the troubling times, she'd always tell herself that she could do it, even if it hadn't happen yet. This is the advice she put on me to follow. Since then, I've become more closer to her, despite our distance. I am typically surrounded by people who are constantly negative about things, which causes me to doubt my work a lot. So I found that when I'm with my sister, I get more encouragement on how I will be able to do what I wish to do in the future. She always told me that the words "if" or "I hope" does not exist when talking about my dreams. Now instead of saying "I hope to animate for Cartoon Network," it's "I will work for Cartoon Network." And instead of "I hope to create my own animation show," it's "I will create my own animation show." Even when I have many rejections from other people or professionals, my sister would tell me to get back up and try again because there are always second opinions out in the world. This was helpful advice for me because I know that my art style differs from others. Meaning that not everyone would like it as much as someone else would. However, just because a few other people don't like the style of art that I've created, does not mean that I should change it. I used to think that when I was younger I had to change how I draw things to realism. To get accepted into the best art schools and win awards, my art had to be perfect realism. I am proud of myself now for taking the opportunity to head down the opposite path of becoming a cartoonist. With cartoon artwork, it leaves me many options to draw what I please. Instead of trying to draw picture perfect people or objects, I draw things that look exaggerated, silly, and unrealistic. When I started having fun with it, I found that doing realism was not for me. I know that my art will become entertainment for others including children in the future. No matter how long it takes to get there, it will be done because I've already started on that goal. I created my first animation film, hoping it sends out a nice message towards all ages, specifically children and teens. I enjoyed working with my voice actors and animating the full film. This was the first time I felt confident with my animation. I started off not knowing what I was doing, drawing everything on a phone, and being afraid to cast voice actors. Six months later, I ended feeling more confident in my animation with so much practice, learned how to make things work with animating on a phone, and I overcame my fear of asking around for voice actors.

As a hard of hearing student, it's my job to give my teacher a microphone that connects to my hearing aid, so I can hear through it. What made me smile one day, was when the teacher not only wore the microphone for himself, but he also passed it around to my classmates if they wanted to speak. This teacher went above and beyond to make sure I could hear every idea or thought someone had unlike my other teachers. It just felt really nice seeing people in the classroom cooperate together by passing the microphone around for me.