I've been struggling with my own mental health since I was just 10 years old. I remember asking my little sister if she ever "just wanted to sleep forever sometimes." Later, I found out that's absolutely not normal for a 10-year-old to ask. It took me until my junior year of high school to get diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Though I don't plan on going into a field inherently related to mental health, it is something that I'm passionate about, and it's greatly affected how I've lived almost my entire life. It's shaped how I socialize with others, how I form relationships, how I see the world as I live through it, and it even helped me realize what exactly I wanted to do after college. I'm sure this sounds absolutely bizarre, but I believe that suffering through depression has helped me become a more empathetic person. I've always been less judgmental towards strangers, showed kindness first and then asked questions. I know what it's like to have a "bad day." I know how rough things can be. There have been days I can't shower, can't brush my teeth, can't get out of bed. I was always told how gross that was, but it's not like it was something I can control. So, I've taken that experience, and I've applied it. I know that things aren't great for everyone. I know that people don't typically choose not to shower or follow general hygiene just for giggles. So, I choose kindness. I go out of my way to be kind to EVERYONE, no questions asked. I help others as best I can because I know that might just be the thing that makes their day. Even if it's a small act of kindness. I know those small acts were the things that kept me going for a long time. I've met a lot of people through shared experiences with mental health and illness. Sometimes I'll console others by telling them about my own struggles, and I'll almost see a little spark in their eyes when they realize they're not alone in the things they face. Many of my friends also struggle with their mental health. We've found a community with one another, and we're there for each other through our best days and our worst days. It's not even just peers my age that I've connected with. There was one teacher specifically, Mrs. N, who I really connected with. She was my English teacher my senior year, and we helped each other through a lot. She struggled with her mental health silently when she went through school, and she continues to struggle today. We would vent to one another and comfort one another on our hardest days. I've formed so many connections just by reaching out and starting conversations about mental health. Obviously, my worldview has been altered by the experiences I've lived through. There have been so many days where the world has lost its luster, where everything looks like it's been shifted into grayscale. I start believing that the people around me are here out of pity, not love. Those are the days when my depression is at its worst. Then, there are the ever-so-fun OCD flare-up days. The days where everything is a threat. Everyone is infected, I can't touch anything that I've not thoroughly cleaned. I have to make sure all my doors are locked, all my faucets are off, and all my windows are shut. Of course, thanks to the help of therapy and medication, these days are not all my days. But on the days when I feel more or less "normal," I consider that people still see the world in those ways. Not everyone shares the same outlook on the world, and it's certainly true that not all outlooks and perspectives are positive ones. This knowledge has helped me evaluate and shape how I act in my day-to-day life, both towards others and myself. You may be wondering, "How does music education have anything to do with mental health? How can struggles with mental illness lead to the conclusion that music education is the best career for her?" Well, music education in and of itself doesn't inherently have anything to do with mental health or illness. But, with my knowledge and experiences of mental illness, I chose music education. I've wanted to be a teacher since kindergarten, though music didn't really come into the picture until middle school. It was through my schooling experiences that I saw just how beneficial music was for students struggling with mental illness. I felt it myself. Going to orchestra, band, or choir made my days so much lighter when I felt the heaviness that came with depression. I know people who say, to this day, that our band director is the reason they're still here today. Music aside, educators are one of the best resources for students struggling with their mental health. I know if not for Mrs. N, I likely wouldn't be writing this essay or applying for this scholarship. I likely wouldn't have even made it to college. I want to be like Mrs. N. I want to be someone students can learn from, but I also want to be someone students can come to for support. At one point, I was the student seeking help from a teacher, and I would love to be that teacher in the future. I want to give kids the tool that is music to help give them light on their darkest days. I want to show my students that it is okay not to be okay, and there is no shame in asking for help. Everything I've said in this essay has been a result of my own struggles with mental health. And even though it's not always easy, I'm glad that I've had these experiences to shape who I am today. I'm glad I'm still here to write about them.