I’ve been a chronic pediatric surgery patient, a trauma patient, and an intensive care unit
admission. I’ve endured numerous surgical complications and required repeated invasive innerear surgeries. I’ve ran races, been impaled by rocks, and experienced first-hand the effects of
septic shock. While atypical, my path has provided a unique series of opportunities that I feel
continue to drive me today in my ultimate goal of becoming a CRNA.
Growing up in rural North Florida, my first surgery experience was at best a fleeting
memory. At a small county hospital, I remember being wheeled through white double doors and
staring blind into white lights overhead…and like that, it was over.
What I do recount in vivid detail were the post-op visits and the panic attacks, one after
the other, of the surgeons telling my mother, aunt, and I that the surgery had failed, mistook, or
warped in some unexpected manner that was less than a five-percent chance. I remember the
dread, and the tears.
However, after seeking care at Tampa General, each surgery became something slightly
different. I remember Dr. Samuels, an anesthesiologist, went remarkably slow, answering every
question, revisiting concerns, and carrying a sense of unfettered confidence that even I, a 10-
year-old, noted. I remember hearing the voice of my mother explaining how my panic attacks in
pre-op, stemmed from previous events of being restrained before sedation, often without any
explanation. I remember the calming presence, and the taste of medication. While it would take me many years to articulate the feeling I had in that
moment and to build a dream from my following surgeries, studies, and shadowing, I knew that
one day I could hope to be in the same position to provide the same sense of care that Dr.
Samuels had for me.
Years later, after my start at Florida State University, I encountered a very different series
of challenges. As with most yielding from the deep South, the confluence of social factors found
at college allowed for swift break from my marriage to southern mores. Where I had
academically thrived before, after coming out to my family in the first year of school, I no longer
benefited from the staunch unencumbered social and financial support of my family. My studies
struggled, both from the demand of working full-time and the unique mental strain of being
isolated from a previously close-knit family. However, when I look back and sift through all my
uncharacteristic decisions and reactions, I found that through my struggle I gained authenticity
and later, grit.
Upon starting nursing school, I once again thrived. I found where my passions and
interests converged, friends that quickly became family, and instructors that felt like parents. I
worked tenaciously, and while certainly the subject matters were challenging, I once again found
I thoroughly enjoyed learning. Despite commuting three hours daily to class and clinicals, I
graduated with honors and haven’t stopped climbing since. I’ve worked hard to become an
excellent, autonomous provider. I have developed into a self-starter, educational leader, and
mentor for my peers. Being in a leadership role is not always easy, but communication,
flexibility, and integrity are key attributes that I have developed as a professional. Despite my
professional advances, I kept thinking about my first anesthesia experience. I took initiative to
explore educational opportunities, such as attending anesthesia conferences, graduate level
coursework, and shadowing CRNAs for fifty hours. These experiences continually re-ignited my
passion for anesthesia. My critical care nurse experience has taught me an inordinate amount that
will remain with me as I advance in a new career.