Mental health and substance abuse have shaped my life from my earliest memories. Growing up, alcohol was always present in my home. I cannot recall a time when I did not worry about whether my parents were safe or whether I would make it home safely myself. Even as a child, I learned to be cautious, especially about riding in a car with them after they had been drinking. That constant fear became my normal.
My parents were not kind when they drank. The fighting was frequent, loud, and damaging. While some of the harm was physical, much of it was emotional and long-lasting. My twin and I were often caught in the middle of situations we were too young to understand or handle. Eventually, my parents divorced, which ultimately was for the better. My father sought help and was able to turn his life around, but my mother continues to struggle with alcoholism. Watching one parent recover while the other did not was confusing and painful, and it deeply affected how I viewed myself and the world around me.
Because my parents were unable to be fully present, I grew up too fast. I became the responsible one, the “parent” in the house, taking on duties and emotional burdens that were never meant for a child. At the same time, I was constantly being torn down. The negative words I heard, especially from my mom, stayed with me. Over time, they shaped how I saw myself. I never felt worthy, capable, or good enough, no matter how hard I tried.
By the time I reached high school, the weight of my childhood began to show in my mental health. I could not quiet my thoughts at night. I would lie awake, staring at the ceiling, replaying worries and fears I could not escape. Sleep, which once came easily, became a struggle. Eventually, I was diagnosed with anxiety driven by intrusive thoughts. While I continue to live with anxiety today, I have learned that it does not define me; it is something I manage, not something that controls my future.
Personal growth has been one of the hardest and most important challenges of my life. For years, I lacked confidence and doubted every decision I made. Through counseling and surrounding myself with a healthier, more supportive group of friends, I slowly began to rebuild my sense of self. I learned how to challenge the negative beliefs I had internalized and recognize my own worth. Choosing to grow, even when it was uncomfortable, taught me strength and resilience.
My educational goals are rooted in that growth. I plan to attend the University of Nebraska–Lincoln and pursue a bachelor’s degree in Accounting and Finance. I have always been drawn to numbers, organization, and structure: things that provided stability when my personal life did not. I want to help others understand their finances and feel empowered by knowledge rather than overwhelmed by it. After earning my undergraduate degree, I plan to continue my education by completing a master’s degree and preparing for the Certified Public Accountant (CPA) and Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) exams. These certifications will allow me to build credibility and make a meaningful impact in the financial field.
Managing my recovery remains a priority as I work toward these goals. I plan to continue counseling when needed, maintain healthy boundaries with family, and rely on routines that support both my mental health and academic success. Staying organized, managing my time, and asking for help when I need it are tools I now view as strengths, not weaknesses. Applying for scholarships will help reduce financial stress, allowing me to focus on my education, while working during college will provide valuable experience and independence.
In the future, I hope to own and operate my own accounting firm, serving individuals, families, and small businesses, especially in rural communities where financial resources can be limited. I also plan to take over my family’s feedlot and manage its financial operations, combining my professional knowledge with my agricultural roots. My past has taught me responsibility, perseverance, and empathy. While mental health challenges and substance abuse shaped my childhood, they do not define my future. Instead, they have motivated me to build a life grounded in stability, purpose, and growth.