Being from a small town, my world can look pretty tiny sometimes. Though my family support and amazing opportunities I have gathered, I have learned to not be afraid to take a leap of faith that is blurred by fear to show you how big the world really is. Whenever I have been met at a crossroads in life, making a decision has always been tough for me. I am a big overthinker that looks down every avenue to explore every possibility of the option. Fear is a great factor and I have learned to not let it control my life when it comes to big decisions. My first experience in this is when I decided to move away from home for college. That is when I took my first big leap of faith, even though I was scared about every aspect that I wasn't strong enough to handle it. Fast forward two years, and it was the best decision I have ever made. The people I have met and experiences I had are unreplaceable and I couldn't imagine my life being any other way. I was scared to make my world bigger, and if I was strong enough to still fit in it. Taking the leap regardless of the fear taught me that my life is what I make of it and what I make of it only. I can decide to stay in my comfort zone and be happy in my own small little bubble, or I can break through that and learn all the great experiences and tools this world has to offer. I am capable, and no matter how big my world gets, I will always know that through my work ethic and determination, the goals go as high as my imagination will allow. I will always find my place and remember where that scared high school graduate's decision got her today. I will use this mentality going forward as a reminder to never fear inhibit my belief of what is possible. If there is a job that I find and strive for, then determine what it takes to get it. If there is a class project, I can't figure out how to complete, find a resource to learn more about the topic. And if a decision come to me one day, don't be afraid to step outside of the comfort zone that is familiarity. Enjoy the challenges in life and don't be afraid to be wrong. Instead praise finding out being wrong that way it gives a chance to eliminate ignorance and become more knowledgeable.

My battle with mental health came up silently and unknowingly. Growing up being an athlete and especially from a small town, this topic was never really addressed. When I was going through school, unfortunately I had a friend that suddenly passed. Being young, I didn't understand the repercussions and it was one of my first ever encounters with rememberable grief. No one in my family ever talked about mental health or even acknowledged that it was real. It wasn't until leaving home and going to college on my own that I realized how real it really is. I struggled a lot through my first years of colleges and half the battle was into convincing myself that my thoughts and feeling were validated and needed to be acknowledged. Having the blessing of being able to attend therapy was one of the hardest and best decisions I have ever made. Because of all these aspect with my individual experience, here are some things that have shaped my mind about this world. I love my parents dearly, but not exposing me to mental illness at a younger age I feel like put me in the mindset that it wasn't as important as it really should be. Starting that conversation early I now believe is so important to facilitate comfort about discussing the hard topic. Another aspect that I have believed shaped me as a person is my experience dealing with mental health and being an athlete. Most of my coaches growing up really never talked about the importance of mental health because athletes are on another caliber of performance. The mental toll that and athlete has can be such a hardship and make them feel worthless. With my experiences, it shaped me to see the importance of involving mental health as a coach. Coaching is another one of my goals that I want to peruse, and I believe that mental health is a conversation that needs to be addressed just as the rest of the elements of the game. Another idea that I developed and strongly advocate for is in higher caliber collegiate athletics and even professional, I believe metal health experts should be hired for the teams. Going through therapy and my own mental health experience I have come to the conclusion that I see mental health as just as any other sickness. So, if someone has a physical injury or is sick, they go to the doctor, so now why is there so much stigma about going to doctor for help with mental help? It is just as, and if not more important that physical health and if athletes get assigned special trainers for them, then why shouldn't they be assigned mental health assistance if they want it? Making it feel more accessible can be a step in the right direction for athletes and getting rid of the whole idea that they have to be tough and shake off whatever they are feeling. Finally, I would like to address the relationship development and aspect that have adjusted through my road with mental health. Being vulnerable is one of the toughest things a person can let happen. It takes a lot of trust to openly communicate struggles and fears, especially in regard to mental health issues. My roommates are some of the best people I know, and we all were going through our own battles through college. Recognizing how lucky I am to have them to share experiences and ask for help was so important for me. With the passing of my friend and dealing with my grief, I learned that when someone is important to you, you have to share that with them. Also, that everyone is going through their own battle every day that outsiders my not see. So, being sensitive and compassionate to others may mean something more to them that I can't fathom at that moment. Not being scared to express the gratitude and love I feel for a friend is something that I hold important to me now in my life. Not being afraid to ask for help is so difficult to process, and I know I still have some work to do with that concept. It is hard to ask for help whether it be friend of family, but I have learned that the best people in your life will always lend a helping hand. I never really even asked for it, but when I was going through my panic attacks, my roommates could sense something wrong and decided to reach out and help me. Through them I have learned that getting through a panic attack, having someone there to talk me down and distract me with random conversation is what I need sometimes. Extending my help with their battles, so we both know what we both fear and that is that we are alone in the war. There are a lot of people in this world and throughout life I've learned I can't let them pass by me. We are all at war, with ourselves and our own mental health, but fighting the small battles together is what life is all about.