I was diagnosed on the autism spectrum a couple of years ago. I genuinely thought when I received this news that it was a joke, due to the stigmatization that was placed onto autism in my family. Looking back to my childhood-I struggled with not being able to focus in class, yet hyper focusing when I was alone at home. In a school setting I felt overstimulated and overlooked by my peers. I was very lonesome in my own little world. I asked too many questions to my teachers and didn’t understand how to get along with kids my age, I did not mind because I enjoyed my alone time but I did feel different. I loved to learn alone at home, I hated attending school. The classroom was often too bright, the children in my class were too loud, I was bullied for speaking so proper at young ages, I was different and I did not understand how nor why. I am now an adult who has gone through years of therapy to cope and learn socializing skills. When highschool came around I began to devolved stomach problems such as IBS, bile gastritis & sphincter of oddi dysfunction, which led me to attending online school instead. I thrived doing my school work at home despite my medical state. I believe a lot of my stomach problems were caused due to anxiety and my particular eating habits. Attending online for the rest of highschool was the best decision I could have made for myself. I am currently enrolled in online classes again and I am making straight A’s my first semester of college because I have perfectly orchestrated a schedule that fits my needs. I am now twenty-two years old back in school and after living much of my life I realize how many difficulties I faced because I could not focus due to my personal needs that were not met. Now that I am an adult I get to chose an education that caters to my needs and abilities as well as a career path, which for me is my stained glass art. I wake up every day and try very hard to accomplish my goals of school and work as well as my desires in life such as art. All being said, a scholarship would benefit me greatly. I will work hard and be relieved of some financial burdens I am currently facing. Thank you for the time and opportunity.

Have you ever been told that something is too expensive to try? I have a family that has built in beliefs that we are poor. I did not think I was deserving of making expensive art because of how I grew up. I developed those same beliefs until recently. I realized I get to choose how I want life to work out if I work hard and stay on the path towards my goals. I began saving money and recycling / up-cycling, so I can afford the crafts I want to pursue. I stay mindful of my goals and things I want to create, I try to be financially smart so I can pursue my crafts and education. I love to draw and write so I keep notebooks on me in case I get an idea or need an outlet. Since I was a little girl I have admired stained glass. We had six huge stained glass windows in the church I went to group up. I would day dream about one day being wealthy enough to make my own stained glass art. After years of saving I have purchased all necessary items to pursue working with glass and enrolled into college courses for art. The stained glass flower is symbolic of growth and the pink symbols love I have for my sister. The girl in the club painting was an expression of seeing a past partner in a public setting for the first time since breaking apart. I named it “sad in the club”. The woman with darkness going in one ear and colors spilling out of the other is a symbol of what I do, I take all negativity in my life and use it as fuel to create my art. I named her “Agetha”. craft.

I was eight when I began going to doctors to see what was wrong with me. Usually during these visits I was told to complete activities after taking a medication. I did not understand what was wrong with me, why I felt such big emotions. Little did I know at the time, I was a test subject for medication. I took certain medications then visited doctors and did reports on my daily life. My mother was receiving compensation for my mental health being at stake. All of my childhood feels like a blur, I remember random moments. When I became a teenager, I was more aware and stopped taking medications around age sixteen, social media was my way out. Social media creates a world catered to you. The moment you realize everyone is in their own little world online makes you see being online isn’t about you and how it can provide you happiness but rather how you can pour into the community around you through an easily accessible source, the internet! This mindset improved my perception of self, I am much more than what meets the eye and often times have to remind myself of so, due to these technological advances. I spent many years trying to formulate a label for myself only to come to the final conclusion, I am not a product therefore I cannot be labeled. There is a distinct difference in my mindset that helped improve my online presence and thought process of the use of social media, I can choose to be a part of products that are labeled to help cater to my community. I was creating a negative label for myself by not following my aspiration but rather following what was trending. I aim to create a new positive label for myself in a way where I am connected to a product that I create to benefit the world. I create art from old recycled materials, I want to give back using my creative innovations. I cut up brown paper sacks and sew together to form a journal, I create the covers from cardboard and old fabric that I have lying around so I can make each one unique. I assumed based off my life goals that education may not be the smartest route for me. As I evolved my mindset around perception, this outlook on education also changed for me. I am writing this essay to you to not only share my personal experiences on consumerism and labels but in hopes to be relieved of the financial burdens of educational costs. By pursuing my education, I am eager to learn more and hope to connect with other great artist who want to impact the world in similar ways, meanwhile pushing my business idea into the world. I am taking a leap towards my fullest potential by successfully aiming for my goals despite societal standards placed in my generation of artist. Education is necessary for my next steps; I greatly appreciate the time you have taken to read my work and consider my application.

I was ten years old at home with my younger siblings, taking care of them, waiting for our mother to arrive home. She often times came home very late but that night I felt something was wrong. A police man and my aunt knocked on our door, I was hesitant to answer but since the police officer was with family, I opened the door. My heart fell to the floor as they told me my mother had been arrested. I was very angry and persistent to know what had happened, I was told to not ask questions and pack our things. We had gone to stay with our aunt for the night. She was not able to take care of us, we ended up going to random home. Here in this home we were questioned about our lives, I told only bits and pieces in order to protect my mother. I was young but I did understand what would lead to more trouble or not. We would sit at this table with random adults as they questioned each one of us children about our past. We were given food, clothes and a home to stay in. I never felt so fancy in my life. Everything was set up so perfectly. I learned how to be a lady here. Yet even though comfortable to an extent, everything there felt forbidden and not ours. It was very difficult going back to school after this. Everyone in our small town knew what had happened. After a long while our grandmother offered to take us in so we could maintain going to the same school. We stayed with our grandmother for some time until my mother was released from jail. When my mother was released we had to rebuild our relationship again. I did not trust anyone based off the circumstances that have taken place. I also now knew everything that happened I just did not understand why it happened to us. My mother tried very hard to gain us children’s trust back by attempting to become a better version of herself. I forgave my mother as she became better and healthy. She quit abusing substances and joined recovery programs, meanwhile showing up to court. She was a felon for most of our lives which made it difficult for her to maintain a well paying job. We got by as best as we could and once I was of age to get a job, I helped my family financially as best as I could. I always wondered what I would be like if I came from a different life, but I know these events shaped me into the woman I am today.