The piece I selected is a mixed-media sculpture created with the theme "my world" in mind. The figures are my loved ones. My artistic vision deals with love and sentimentality. Everything I create relates to my own experiences, life, and/or relationships in some way. This is especially seen in art I create with my son as a key component. I became pregnant at nineteen years old and gave birth to my child during the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic. The state of the world coupled with my own financial and emotional struggles equated to a feeling of utter helplessness. I did not continue to pursue higher education after my child was born as I believed it to be impossible for a young mother like myself. However, my baby granted me inspiration and newfound motivation to aspire to more. He is my light and my love. Pure joy radiates from him, and he has reminded me that I am worthwhile and capable. I wanted to work hard for both my child's sake and my own, so I re-enrolled in university. I am now pursuing a Bachelor of Science in Art Education. My dream is to become an art educator and to share the love and appreciation of art with young minds. I have long-term aspirations of earning my Master's and becoming a professor. There are many days where I feel I may not reach my goal and many "all-nighters" where I am pushed to the absolute brink. But, I overcome these obstacles and work far beyond my limitations. I know that I can achieve this dream of mine because I am extremely dedicated and passionate. I will succeed, and I know that I will one day see myself walking to receive my diploma, my son in the audience, and my head held high.

I am currently enjoying a career as a stay-at-home mother. It has been the most rewarding job, but I cannot fully support my child just by being present. Unfortunately, I am not in the financial position to do so. However, I have lofty dreams that I know can remedy this predicament. I plan to graduate with my Bachelor’s degree in Art Education, then continue my education in hopes of earning a Master’s degree in order to educate students at a collegiate/university level. This dream is one that takes a great deal of work and dedication to achieve, but I am more than willing to overcome every obstacle and fight to make it a reality. I hope to achieve everything I set my mind to, every single career goal, so that I will one day be able to tell my son, “I made it happen, and so can you.” I know I have a long, winding road ahead of me, but I am looking forward to traveling it at a steady pace. I am certain that I will reach my destination.

The earliest stages of my disorder appeared when I was just about nine years old. I am now in my twenties, and I still live each and every day with the mental torment it brings. I suffer from body dysmorphic disorder and an Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorder (OSFED). These disorders cause me to withhold meals from myself and feel immeasurable guilt if I do eat at all. They also cause me to intensely dislike myself. I cannot look in the mirror without quite literally wincing at my appearance. The apex of my disorder appeared during adolescence, specifically after I entered high school. I did dangerous things and hurt my body in an attempt to shape myself to a standard that I believed was the epitome of beauty; a standard well enforced by societal pressures. However, I now have the greatest motivator in my life that is helping me on my journey to healing and self-love. At twenty years old, I became a mother. Motherhood has brought me joy beyond measure. My child is my light and my love. Despite the great encouragement that is my son, the aftermath of pregnancy, alongside my eating disorder, has caused a relentless kind of struggle. I feel as though I have somehow been broken. I look at my body and see myself as having been ransacked by the months where my son grew inside me. A life-giving and strong body that I know I should celebrate for its massive accomplishment appears to me as though it were my enemy. While I am not in the same dark place I once was, I am still burdened by the shadow cast over me by my disorders. And, like a shadow, my disorders follow me endlessly. It is something I have agonized over for years, with few resources to help me, and with little understanding from most others. There is a stigma that surrounds those who suffer in silence, and there is a particular lack of sympathy towards the countless people who have an OSFED. We may appear fine on the outside, but that is not the case. Oftentimes, our pain is brushed aside or labeled "insignificant." I want those who may not comprehend what living with an invisible disorder is like to understand that our struggles are in no way insignificant. We have to fight to persevere in spite of the suffocating weight of eating disorders. We fight constantly, yet there are still days where we may lose the battle and succumb to the influence a disorder has over us. Many people will spend their whole lives fighting. In reality, the pain an eating disorder causes may never disappear. I believe that those of us who know this particular pain have a deep sense of empathy and compassion. We know what it is to hurt, and we know just how heartbreaking it is to not see yourself with kind eyes. It is my desire to provide a safe space, especially in the collegiate environment, for fellow students who may feel incapacitated by their own disorders, as well as for those who may lack understanding and incidentally perpetuate the stigma of eating disorders. I want to create understanding in this non-judgmental space where we can listen and learn from one another, and support each other through our unique hardships. I would also like to celebrate our accomplishments together; our hard-won battles. Through this, I hope to help myself and others quiet the poisonous voices that whisper inside our heads as we work towards healing from the wounds of our respective eating disorders.