I grew up without the types of support I needed, partially because it was unknown to my family and I what I needed. I had undiagnosed autism, I didn't know who I was, and I felt like I didn't have a place in the world. Despite this, I always excelled in the things I did. I've been first chair clarinet in every band I have played in, I've always excelled in school, people know they can rely on me, and I always find ways to achieve my goals. My perseverance is who I am. My dedication, my hard work, and my big goals are something that has always been there and keep me moving forward. A lot of my goals come from my idolized view of my older sister, Aubrey. Every hobby I had was from her, every goal I had was to make her proud, and I looked up to her with every fiber of my being, and, like me, she was neurodivergent. Aubrey was, in every sense of the word, my biggest inspiration and I will forever live with her in the forefront of my mind. I have my own goals and dreams, I have my own life, but a part of me wants nothing more than to make her proud.
Unfortunately, Aubrey was the victim of a hit-and-run in 2023, which put her into a coma. After a few months without her waking up, she was making a lot of health progress, but despite these improvements, she passed away as a result of her injuries in April of 2023. Losing her was a big moment for me, she inspired me all of my life, she was the one who made sure I knew I had a place in this world, and she was my best friend. It was hard to accept that she was now gone. Losing Aubrey was the worst thing I have ever gone through. However, it has also been my biggest motivation. I want to make her proud, so since her death, I have been putting my all into my future. Aubrey’s death made me realize how badly I wanted to make my childhood dream of becoming a doctor come true. So, since she passed, I have been attending college part-time on top of my high school classes, getting rid of as many nursing and medical school prerequisites as I am allowed, volunteering several hours a week making get-well-soon cards for hospital patients, working and saving up for college, and finding ways to give myself the support Aubrey would want me to have. On top of this, I am now starting an accelerated certified nursing program so that I can get into the medical field the second I graduate.
Aubrey's death has led to me facing my fears of not having my own place in the world head on. I have made my own place, achieved goals I never believed possible, and made new goals I will stop at nothing to achieve. She has helped me turn my autism diagnosis from something I believed to be a weakness, into something I knew could help me change my future, and, eventually, the future of the world as well.
Even though I have persevered throughout my journey, finding myself would have been a lot smoother if I had received the help I so desperately needed. I love helping people and medicine is something that truly sparks my interest and, following my autism diagnosis, I realized I could become a psychiatrist who specializes in neurodivergence. I will help children, like me and Aubrey, who, like us, don't know where they fit. I will help their journey be a lot less bumpy than mine was and I aim to help increase the diagnosis of women with autism, as currently women with autism are commonly misdiagnosed. I would like to fund and conduct research on how autism presents in women and help people to see the signs no one saw in me.
I know my journey will be rough, just as it already has been so far, but I am committed to my goals and I know I can achieve them. I have already done so much to get my foot in the door and go in the right direction to get where I dream to be, enjoying every step I have taken thus far. So, I know my future steps will be something that is just as challenging and just as fulfilling.
I hope to build a legacy that is based on hope. I want to make a difference in the lives of people like me and show that everyone, regardless of their societal disadvantages or their traumas, they can make their dreams come true. I want to inspire people, even after I am gone and I want to make everlasting changes in the lives of autistic women everywhere.