When I first unwrapped my first art set, I understood that art wasn't about what I could see, but rather about what I couldn't say. Painting and photography became my first true language. It helped me translate how I felt and what I remember all in one. Growing up Hispanic, I always found myself in between two languages, one connected to my culture and the other what most people expected me to speak. Art became the thing that bridged the distance; it filled the silence/barrier that remained, giving light to what I truly wanted to say or what words I wanted to use to connect with others.
Even when words fail me, art didn’t because I didn’t need to have perfect grammar or an accent; my brushstrokes would tell the story, the same way handwriting is mixed with emotions. A wobbly line might show the viewer sadness, and a strong line cloud might show confidence or a sign of letting something go. Strokes can display memories the artist has, and the colors can further show emotions, such as yellow for happiness or red for anger. With every color, shadow, light, and blending added depth and emotions to the canvas, allowing me to visualize my feelings. I didn't think that my voice was fading, but it was creating one. When I was 14 years old, my mom took me to a painting studio for my birthday. We were allowed to paint anything we wanted. I chose to express my feelings on the canvas. In the center, I painted a yellow circle to represent my happiness and used various other colors to convey my different emotions.
Photography works the same way; it opened doors for me without having to say anything. With photography, it freezes the moments so I can hold onto them, reminding me of each moment captured, and not have to pronounce words perfectly. Growing up with a lisp, I struggled to pronounce certain letters. Being raised in a bilingual environment—one language at school and another at home—added to my challenges. However, each photo I take reassures me that I don’t need an extensive vocabulary to convey meaning; the images speak for themselves.
As a result, I began to understand how art sees more than what I see in myself. It shaped how I see everyone, the world, and emotions. Art made me focus on the smallest details of others, such as how light falls on a plant, the tone of people's voices, the emotions they convey as they speak, the colors people wear, and the textures around me. Each blank canvas and camera taught me how to navigate a challenge, just like being in between two worlds.
Most of all, art has given me an identity that can’t be put into one definition. Painting and photography help me find ways to express myself and show my culture. When I paint, I go with the warm tones like oranges, light ocean blue, reds, and yellows that represent the Puerto Rican island. My brushstrokes flow like the rhythm of the Spanish music, like bachata, which I heard growing up at parties. Photography helps me freeze the memories of my grandmother making pasteles, my family dancing, and laughing. It helps me piece together my story, showing how silence can be powerful and loud enough to transform something into an art piece. When I create art, I don't just see the colors or the images; I see my attempt at crafting my own language, which has shaped me. I want to teach poeple about art, and help them understand thier emotions.