My entire life has been ruled by my medical conditions - they dictate every decision I make in life. I have never known a day of peace with them and I suspect I never will. Many of them have no cure, and of those that do not my hyperhidrosis and trigeminal neuralgia are my true masters. I cannot go a minute without thinking of my hyperhidrosis - is it obvious? Can people see that I am suffering? Are they judging me? My trigeminal neuralgia is a pain all on its own, a constant fear that I am going to become immobilized, unable to function from an episode happening at the most inconvenient times. Together they rule me. I have gotten better in the past years, learned to break the hold they have on me, and venture out without fear. Eventually, my goal is to break away from these conditions entirely. To not have to sit and wonder constantly if I am being judged or when the next bout of pain will appear. I want to live life the way I truly want to. I want to go to college, get my doctorate, and live my life truly happy without the ever-present weight of my medical conditions. When I look to the future I see myself, free. For the first time in my life, I see myself unburdened. I see myself truly, undeniably, happy.

The meaning of life is to be yourself, to help others and the world as much as you can. But above all, the meaning of life is love. Love is a beautiful thing, and it is not inherently romantic as most people believe. Love is the way you do everything you can to make your best friend laugh, love is the way you see someone on the street who looks a little down so you give them the biggest smile you can, love is the way a little girl in the store compliments your hair, love is the way your classmate helps you understand a concept you're struggling with, love is the way you see something in the store and think "wow, my friend would love that" - love is in everything we do. Love is in the way you breathe, love is in the way you talk and the way you walk. I love so openly, so freely because it is through love that the world will grow into a better place. It's our job as humans to care for other people, to do our best to ensure the world is a better place for those yet to come. I try to achieve the meaning of life by loving everyone as much as I can. I love the people I hate, because without them I would not be who I am today. I love everybody with such loudness that my love cannot be ignored, I love so that others will see it and they too will love. I love so that those I love will survive, will thrive, and together with all our love, we can change the world. We can save those ahead of us. With love, the world will thrive.

Art is what binds together all of humanity - it is one of the few things, alongside love and kindness, that has survived throughout nearly all of, if not in fact all of, the existence of humanity as a whole. One of my favorite types of art in the world is old cave paintings, proof that humanity has always valued creation. Specifically, the paintings upon the walls of the Chauvet Cave, Ardèche, France are so beautiful, so breathtaking to me. These paintings date back as early as 30,000 to 28,000 B.C - that's over 32,021 years ago. 32,021 years that these paintings have survived, paintings that were so carefully crafted and expertly executed, paintings that tell stories, that tell of life. Paintings that tell of the thing that binds us all - creation. Without creation, without these beautiful and wonderful paintings, we wouldn't know how these people operated, how they lived, how they died, how they loved, and how they survived. It's proof that though humanity has evolved in its creation, its inventions, we are all still the same, deep inside. And I think that's beautiful. For as much as people love to shout to the world that they are better than their forefathers, that they are no longer the same as their savage ancestors - the existence of this art proves otherwise. We are all the same, we are all human and we are all connected through art. This is an undeniable truth. Someone put their everything into this art and today it still thrives, still holds truth. Cave paintings mean everything to me because they prove one simple, undeniable truth: The world is largely good. The world is full of love and creation. Our past has survived through art, and so too shall we.

The most inspiring book I've ever read is "I Am the Messenger" by Markus Zusak. The reasoning behind this is vast, and I could go on about it forever, but the biggest point is this: the book tells the story of claiming and creating your own story. The main character, Ed, is presented to the reader as a sad little man, and this is also the way he views himself. He isn't well off, he doesn't have a good family life, and half of his friends can hardly even be called friends. He believes he has nothing, and he believes he is nothing. Throughout the book, this begins to change, and eventually, Ed becomes the master of his own story, creating incredible bonds throughout the story and helping others in indescribable and amazing ways. Ed learns that he doesn't need all these great things to be happy, to be okay. He has himself, and he has those he loves and that's enough. Those are all he needs. This is inspiring to me because this is a story I can relate to: I viewed myself as a loser, a pathetic person with nothing in the world. It was through others that I, much like Ed, began to change and realize my worth, it was through helping others and strengthening my bonds with my loved ones that I was able to gain my worth. This book inspires me because when I look inside of it, I see myself.

Art is a lifeline - it is a thing of creation, of being, and it is what keeps us going. Vincent Van Goghs story is often misconstrued as one of great sadness, but in fact it is quite the opposite: Vincent Van Goghs story is one of love. It is through this love, love for his brother and for his family, that his painting Almond Blossoms (1890) comes from. Van Goghs brother, Theo, supported him endlessly through life and in all his artistic endeavors, and when he was instinstitutionalized Theo supported him still. During this time is when Theo's son was born, the child to whom Almond Blossoms is dedicated. As someone who has struggled greatly with mental illness in my life, even having been institutionalized for depression myself, the bond these shared despite all their hardships truly resonates with me, and the art that was born from their bond is special to me for this reason. Almond Blossoms (1890) is art that was created out of the strongest of love, and it is for this reason that I adore it.