Since I was three years old, I always knew that I wanted to pursue a degree that resulted in me being in the ocean. I would pick out information books and even old college textbooks that would tell me more about a world that I wanted so badly to be in. I decided from a young age what I wanted to do and how and where I wanted to do it. As I got older, I realized there were more threats to this world that I thought to be so shiny and new and all I wanted to do was protect it and care for it. i felt like a part of me was lost without the ocean and the beach and I wanted nothing more than to be a part of every impact that there was to help it. Any chance I got at a presentation in high school or research paper, I always gravitated towards ocean pollution or the threats against it because people disregard it so often, they don't even realize that they're destroying one of the biggest ecosystems and sources of life on our earth. Originally, I wanted to be a research analyst to study behavioral patterns and lifestyles of animals and plants and microorganisms in the oceans. Essentially I was just curious about what life is like and how species in the ocean live differently. However, with this newfound discovery came the discovery of how mistreated and polluted and disregarded oceans are by the world in which we live. Oil spills, trash "islands", animals in captivity, global warming etc. all does immense harm and decreases the life of oceans and the way in which they live an immense amount. From then on, I changed what I aimed my end goal to be with this career. I want to be able to help the life forms that live in the ocean while also finding passion in it. I then decided, I wanted to get a veterinary PhD with a specialty in aquatics in order to work for a marine life rescue organization. So many animals are held in captivity and fisheries have sly ways to work around how much they fish and when and where in order to just gain more money. I want to be able to not only care for and save animals that are in need of it but also work against the people trying to destroy it. I hope with the knowledge I gain from obtaining this degree, I can do all of those things and more. There are so many small aspects of life that we can work to change and correct in order to preserve oceans and allow for the life there to flourish in the way it was meant to.

When I was three years old, my dad picked me up from Pre-K and I told him I wanted to be a marine biologist. That was my goal. I was going to go to school in Hawaii and live in a beach house and study tide pools. When I was five, I picked out an animal encyclopedia that I'm 99% sure was used as a college textbook and would make my dad read it to me every single night before bed, but only the marine animals. Every year for my birthday, I would beg for books that told me about life in the ocean or as for $20 to go to my school's book fair to pick them out. My dad didn't question a single thing about it and when I got accepted to Coastal Carolina University with the intention of pursuing a degree in Marine Science, I don't think I've ever seen him more proud. Last summer, my father passed away from glioblastoma, and while most people would think I use that as a way to get pity or ahead in life, I use it as a way to drive myself even more. My dad is someone who never doubted my dreams for a second. he always was in awe of my drive and assured me I could get far. When I received my first bad grade ever, all he asked me was if I did my best which shocked me. I just told him yes and he nodded and told me that's all that mattered. My father was not a man who pursued an education or did exactly what he thought he would be doing in life, but he was a man who believed that you get what you put into this world. He made sure I had a foundation and support system that would get me to be the marine biologist that I was positive I wanted to be. All I've done for most of my life was doubt myself in almost everything I do. I was never top of my class or valedictorian and I never excelled in much of anything. My dad never thought to penalize me for that unless it was jeopardizing my future.He never let me deviate away from my dreams in order to make it easy on other people or to please someone other than myself. None of my parents ever finished college and never even got jobs that required a college degree. they all insisted that I go even though school was never something I enjoyed or was amazing at. My dad pushed me the hardest. He told me, "You can do and have anything you want, kid. Whatever you want, I want it for you." Even with him gone, I can hear those words in my head when I want to dropout of school or I get a bad grade on a math quiz or don't ace a test I spent hours upon hours studying for. Everything I do and everything I work towards is to make him proud. Even though he's not here to see it, I'm doing it to make him proud. So when I get the chance to hang my degree on a wall in my future house, it will be because he believed I could do it. I'm not the best in my class and I don't have 100 extracurriculars on my resume that make me out to be an outstanding student or member of my school. I have drive and I have passion for what I want all because of my father.

For most of my life, I was confused. Not because I was a child or didn't have any life experiences, but because I never looked like any of my family or friends. My mom is white and my dad was African American and Native American, but I never looked more like one or the other. I remember asking my mom one time if I was adopted, because for a while I thought I was only white. As I got older and gained more knowledge and life experiences, it had dawned on me that I was what was considered "biracial" or "mixed". I suddenly felt as if I didn't fit in anywhere. My dad would try his best to give me experiences on our culture and insights to our past, but I never could grasp it because my mom lived as a white woman. This confusion followed me through school and friendships and even job applications. When the question would ask "What is your race/ethnicity?" I would stare at the boxes and question which one I should even check. Which one seemingly trumped the other? I was white-passing, but that was only in the winter and when I would straighten my hair. On the other hand, in the summer when my curls were loose and my skin was darker, people wouldn't question "what" I am. Another question I got a lot. "What are you?" as if I was some unknown species to them. I would simply reply the question as poised as i could because then i would be seen as overreacting. My father got three animal tattoos when i was around 14. He said that our family's tribe (forgive me for not remembering) would design personal totems for each individual as to what resonated with them and what the animals stood for in the culture. He had a beetle, an owl and a bear. The bear made me laugh because that was the one thing I distinctly remember him being afraid of when I was a kid was bears. However, he told me that it represented a dual meaning for him, yes he was afraid of them, but they represented courage and good health and he believed expanding on that fear would guide him in life. I learned from my father all I could. Our origins and beliefs. Our family supposedly originated from Oklahoma and were a mix of slaves and shut out indigenous people which i found to be fascinating. i don't sit and dwell on what box to check or where I fit in anymore. I also don't allow it to hinder my experiences in life or my success. I let it represent who I am and where I came from and how I came to be as a woman of color.