When I was a freshman in high school, my history teacher pressed the importance of the phrase "history doesn't repeat itself, it rhymes." I appreciated the saying at the time, but the more I learn about history and the more of the world I experience, I find its truth to be imperative. I often get into hyperfixations over certain periods... but one era of history I find truly fascinating and imperative to understanding would be Latin America from 1850-1950. I believe analyzing influential leaders, events, and philosophical ideologies of the time can help our current society in many ways. Firstly, I believe this era shows just how dangerous a lack of nuanced thought/black-white thinking can be. One example of this in particular would be the 1954 invasion of Guatemala. The nation had its second-ever democratic election at the height of the Cold War; the new President (Arbenz), while not Communist - sought to implement leftist reforms, refused to outcast Communists in Guatemala, and took a neutral stance to the Cold War. The United States saw this as a threat; all leftist movements - even those similar to previous ones within the U.S. - were perceived as Societ-influenced Communism. In turn, the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency sought to oust Arbenz from the inside out through a psychological, political, and combative experiment. This largely came in the form of deceptive propaganda, which also ran through the U.S. press – this included staged recordings, disinformation broadcasts, leaflets, and more. Once the CIA felt there was enough instability, they bought Soviet-issue weapons and planted them as “proof” of the administration’s connection with the Soviet Union – permitting U.S. proxy forces to invade in the 1954 Coup D’état. The lesson from this lies within the fact that, while the CIA may have succeeded in Guatemala, the invasion caused resentment leading to the Cuban Revolution; two key leaders - Fidel Castro and Che Guevara - personally experienced the 1954 Coup D’état. At least for Guevara, it was a huge motivator in his desire to fight in the Cuban Revolution. Neither of them started out as Communist, but over time - the Communistic influence surfaced. The U.S. imposing dominion in these regions, while also trying to stop the spread of Communism, in itself created more Communism for them to deal with. Also, the mistaking of Guatemalan leftist reform for Communism didn't save them from corruption - a study tour pamphlet from 1994 says that, from 1980 to 1990… 100,000 Guatemalans were killed – in the last 20 years, 38,000 “disappeared” – and less than 1% of Guatemalans who requested political asylum in the U.S. since 1980 were granted it. In this timeline of events, there is an overwhelming presence of ambiguity of which our modern society could benefit from analyzing. The U.S. today is plagued with division, ignorance, and corruption - politicians and neighbors alike struggle to see the truth in opposing arguments because they see everything they think as bad. Jose Marti, a philosopher and leader for Cuban Independence expressed this issue once, saying "exhausted by these problems and frustrations, by the struggles between the intellectual and the military, between reason and superstition, between the city and the countryside, and by the contentious urban politicians who abuse the natural nation… the greatest needed of Our America is to unite in spirit." I think we find many lessons in what is causing us to break apart in Latin American history - so I encourage people to learn more of it when I can. Guatemala Study Tour: June 20-29, 1994. Red Bud, IL: La Posada Sanctuary, 1994.

I can't remember ever being a stranger to the idea of mental illness. I've always had an awareness of it, in fact, most of my earliest memories have been fashioned by this observation. I was 2 when my mother entered long-term drug rehabilitation and I moved in with my grandparents; since then, mental illness has never been a taboo subject of conversation. I was only 6 years old when I started going to regular therapy sessions. For the first few years, I didn't necessarily enjoy those appointments; I was consistently being asked to self-reflect, appropriately deal with emotions, and think critically about actions, whether they be my own or someone else's. Now 20 years old, I wonder whether I would be alive if it hadn't been for that therapist. My mother struggles or has struggled with schizophrenic tendencies, ADHD, substance abuse, Bipolar disorder, and PTSD. In the 2 years before I started therapy... she found my brother's father dead from suicide (while she was still pregnant) and also became a sex offender. I found out through a google search when I was 13. That's also around the time I learned Chris killed himself. Uncovering those truths put me in a very dark place at a very influential age; it wasn't depression I faced, it was moral conflict - I felt I could not love my own mother, that I needed to hold her accountable for the hurt she placed on others. By the time I was 14, I developed a severe case of bulimia. The first two years of high school were very hard for me. During my sophomore year, a close childhood friend of mine killed Holt and Preston Cope at his high school. I went to a different school, I wasn't there. However, that event has traumatized me more than anything. Two weeks after he did that, the Parkland shooting happened; I remember sitting through an assembly on safety measures, the reasons for that precaution being due to what my friend did. I felt like my failure as a friend, quite simply, was deadly. Here comes moral conflict again... it's a nauseating, soul-eating, wrath-inducing type of pain. I didn't feel I had a right to grieve, only act. I turned to a sense of resolve - but it was wrathful and unorganized... it quickly backfired. I now had to self-reflect, and luckily, foundational skills learned in therapy came to help. I'm still traveling the road to efficient resolution, but if I never knew it was there... I cannot imagine who I'd be today. For myself, mental illness has always been a normal thing we'd all struggle with - mine largely surrounds moral conflict and trauma from people I cared for doing horrendous things. Today, I watch my little sister struggle through the trauma her mother consistently puts her through. It is absolutely gut-wrenching because my sister doesn't have the resources or opportunities I had at her age; this has led to multiple school suspensions, attention-seeking, fighting, anger, delays in academic success, and many other things. My only hope is that through positive influence, I can show her how to turn that pain into a passion. I've struggled a lot, but what keeps me going is the thought I can wake up every day and work to be a better me.

To write is to learn, grow, and leave a lasting impact. In my writing, I hope to encourage unity and Democracy. I'm both a full-time news producer and college student, so writing isn't just something I enjoy, it's part of who I am. When I write anything, I focus on sharing useful, nuanced, and thought-provoking information. On my blog and in academic essays that require opinion, I actively try to make my writing welcoming for all, even if they disagree. I want people to feel respected and heard, despite disagreements. In my newscasts, I am constantly looking to erase bias from sources, my own bias, and harmful language. When it comes to politics, I want people to feel more educated about the world around them after my newscast - not angry. Unfortunately, in an age of division and sensationalization, it's can feel impossible to do that; top political stories inevitably come with passionate feelings, oversimplified explanations, and contempt. To tell others what's happening, you must portray the issue, explain how people are trying to solve the problem, and mention important factors in the issue. However - largely accessible portrayals are oftentimes strategically crafted to appear "unbiased" whilst only benefiting one side of the story. For topics with exceptional controversy, however - important events, statements, and newsworthy happenings incite unavoidably passionate responses in viewers. In my perception, many of these responses coincide with a lack of context, a sense of urgency, and sometimes - viewing opposers as threats to their freedom, values, and way of life. These emotions can be caused by, as mentioned before, carefully established angles that make someone believe they are consuming unbiased news. With that, explanations are commonly oversimplified to fit within the "big two" ways of thinking; for example, regarding a hot-button policy - you're likely to hear some variation of "Democrats want this, but Republicans think this." This generalization isn't just dangerous, but polarizing... and subsequently - dangerous to our Democracy. I don't see my writing as simply important, I see it as a responsibility. When writing for myself, whether that be my blog or academic - I see it as my duty to try and mend the divide. If I'm writing on my own opinion, I want all readers to understand they are respected if they disagree; I write to encourage compromise, unity, and mutual understanding of inevitable human fault. Finally, I want folk to see how much more empowering it is to dissect your own faults rather than those of an opposer. As a news producer, my writing comes with even more responsibility. Frustratingly, almost every day I feel my head split trying to figure out how to inform people most ethically. I re-organize stories to make them more understandable, sift through oceans of sensationalized "fluffy facts" to gather main points, and write my stories to not only be accurate but beneficial for viewers. I cannot refuse to air every polarizing statement, event, or story. Frankly, in many circumstances, that's more unethical than sensationalization; however, I can present those issues in a manner that encourages thought, conversation, and critical thought. In no way am I where I want to be in my writing, but I am eager to become better; not better just for myself, but for all those my writing will affect. When working, my writing is responsible for the information people hold as true; this is very stressful, yet, an honor I am committed to upholding.

One of my senior superlatives was "Most Likely to be President," so you wouldn't be surprised to hear that I have a lot of passion. Though, in a time of division and contempt... it's hard to use that passion effectively. Personally, I've found reflecting on my own wrongdoings much more effective than fixating on those of someone I disagree with. However, I'm only able to do this because of my attentiveness toward nuance and complexity. This characteristic wasn't obtained out of thin air - some of my hardest life experiences have shoved complexity into my face until I accepted it. Firstly, when I was 12, I discovered that my mom was a sex offender - that in itself brought on a plethora of moral conflicts. Secondly, a close childhood friend of mine grew up to be a school shooter, he killed 2 innocent people. Both situations were very traumatizing and required tons of healing. Healing, for myself, largely meant accepting the fact that moral conflicts are okay, and in fact, they're normal. I did not go to the school he attacked, so largely, I had to handle a lot of that pain on my own. A lot of that pain manifested as engulfing anger - a hatred so intense I would do anything to keep what he did from happening again. I found those rallying for my cause and assumed widespread solutions as imperative, adding other one-sided agendas to my advocacy. However, after a year of mindlessly wrathing for something to change... I began to see - I pushed more people away than I positively influenced. Having realized I did this absolutely crushed me because I knew I gave in to the very thing preventing a real solution: division. After that epiphany, along with some years of healing, I began to see things are far more complicated than internet sensationalization makes them out to be. This understanding has absolutely changed how I view change, good, bad, the world, and myself. At a point where I would have done anything to stop people from hurting... I fed into a big reason people are hurting. If that was true for me, why wouldn't it be true for others? I am able to see there is an inevitable complexity to nearly everything, and that is what I value most in myself. This characteristic has allowed me to have meaningful and positive conversations that encourage growth, not contempt. Most importantly, I am able to fight for better days effectively. Not only do I expect myself to mess up, but I expect it in others too - and that's okay. I am a news producer, and this characteristic is a necessity. To spread information in a way that benefits others without sensationalizing ideas or using bias - I have to be able to see deep complexities and nuances. Things, people, and intentions are rarely what we see on the surface, so with the awareness of undeniable complexity, I know the truth lies beyond first impressions. This quality is what makes me a good news producer, because I want to spead true, unbiased, helpful information - not simple ideas trashed with sensationalization. I yearn for days where this complexity is acknowledged - and I can only reach them by encouraging others to do the same.