Cancer is a club that no person ever wants to be apart of. Your life is flipped upside down with multiple life style changes and challenges that you are forced to over come everyday. When I was ten my mom was diagnosed with stage IV endocervical adenocarcinoma. To say it was unexpected would be an understatement. My mom was someone who stayed extremely active in life. She was a middle school teacher, assistant volleyball coach, student council advisor, youth group leader and so much more. She did all of that on top of being a dedicated parent to three kids, a grandma, a spouse and an involved friend to many. Throughout my moms entire five year battle with cancer, she never let her disease define her. She continued the things in life that mattered to her and brought her happiness. She continued working at the local school, went to sporting events for her kids, and spent an abundance of times with her family. She was a true anomaly to what her doctors and community thought her cancer would do to her. She continuously exceed every timeline and expectation the doctors gave her. From her original diagnosis being six months to live, to living and enjoying her life to the fullest for five and half years after her diagnosis. She was a true inspiration to those around her. My mom was an extremely humble person. She never thought that she would have the impact that she did on those around her. She often talked about how she wasn't the perfect role model, she just lived her life and made sure that she made the most of the time she had. Little did she know the amount of lives she touched was unmeasurable. Her celebration of life was held in the local school gymnasium and there was not an open seat in the entire place. Over 800 people were in attendance. Families were standing in the hallways watching the live stream service just to be apart of the shared testimony of a remarkable woman's life. Fitting enough for the woman she was, she instilled many hard truths and lessons into me that have shaped my life. She taught me that the harder the goodbye, the more love there is in the relationship. Yes, its hard saying goodbye, but try to cherish the love you have for one another. She taught me that you never know when your last day will be, and as cliche as it sounds you should live your life to the fullest each and everyday. Although there are many lessons I could share, the final one I'm going to share is to be grateful. That is a word our family lived by. Be grateful for the time you are given, even if it doesn't feel like its enough. Be grateful for the relationships you have, you never know the lasting impact you may have on someone. Lastly, I leave you with this. "Be anxious for nothing but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ" Philippians 4:6-7. I will always carry this verse with me. Not only did it get my mother through some of her darkest times, but it reminds me to put all my worries and doubts onto the Lord, and he will relieve me of my stresses. My hope is that everyone can find faith and comfort in knowing that this world is not the end for us.

July 30th 2023 was the day my heart shattered into a million pieces. Five and a half years of knowing this moment would ultimately come did not prepare me for the pain I would feel when I lost my mom. My mom never made me feel like she was actively dying. She continued teaching at the school I attend, she went to all of my sporting events, and above all she continued to be the nurturing and supportive mother she had always been. She never let her disease define her. In her last year of life, my mom enrolled in home hospice. This is where I realized things were changing. What people don't know, and I don't enjoy opening up about is that I was home by myself with my mom during this time. My dad took a job three hours away and was not home during the week. The responsibilities ultimately fell on me. I would drive my mom to her appointments, pick up prescriptions, and make sure the house stayed in order with every day tasks. Being sixteen I had many thoughts in my head like "why me?" How am I suppose to manage all of this on top of the of losing my mom? I emersed myself into my school work and extracurricular activities to avoid what was going on around me. Although my mom is no longer here she has given me the strength and courage to do things I never though I would be able to do. My dream has always been to attend a university for a sports broadcasting degree. I never thought this would be obtainable because I was born with a cleft lip and palate, making speech a difficult subject. However, my mom always told me to never let the world define me. I'm an avid sports fan and love to share my sports knowledge with anyone that will listen. Because of my moms strength and resilience throughout her battle, I feel like I owe her the same attitude when it comes to chasing my dreams and aspirations. I hope one day I can be a positive role model to those around me as well, and show them that no matter the life cards you are dealt, you still have a chance to make an impact on those around you. The fact is, I would do everything 1,000 times over for my mom. In the last five years she taught me more life lessons than she could possibly have imagined and she was a true inspiration to not only me but our entire community. She taught me that the harder the goodbye is the more love there is in the relationship, try to cherish the love you have for one another. She also taught me that you never know when your last day will be, and as cliche as it sounds you should live your life to the fullest everyday. Although there are many lessons I could share, the final one I'm going to share is to be grateful. That is a word our family lived by. Be grateful for the time you are given, even if it doesn't feel like its enough. Be grateful for the relationships you have, you will never know the lasting impact you may have on someone.

July 30th 2023 is the day my heart shattered into a million pieces. I lost the woman who had been with me my entire life, my biggest support system and best friend, my mom. After someone significant passes in your life you often hear "it will get easier." I'm a firm believer in it doesn't get easier you just learn to live with it. The thing is, grief and gratitude can coexist. As silly as it sounds, just think about it. Grief and gratitude are not opposites but rather companions. Gratitude can help with the healing process and personal growth that comes with grief. I've learned that even though I felt extremely broken after losing my mom, I know that the pain I felt means that I have loved fully and deeply. I've learned that it's okay to love the life I live now while still grieving the life I thought I would live or the people I should have in it. As excited as I am for my college endeavors, I wish more than anything my mom could be here. My grief journey will be ever changing, it will never be finished. It will be something I carry with me through this next phase of life. I know there will be days when I break down and feel as though the world is empty without my mom here. I also know there will plenty of good days too, when I will remember her with joy and happiness wishing she could be here to witness new milestones and celebrations. Unfortunately that is the harsh reality of my life and many others. Your grief journey will never be finished, and instead of being mad about the time you didn't get with your loved one, try to be grateful. No amount of time when losing a loved one will ever feel like enough, but you have to remain grateful for the time you did have. Although this has been a year of unwanted firsts, I have learned many things. I've learned that you should pour yourself into living. Don't hide from life, but pour yourself into this beautiful, hard, messy life you are blessed to live. I've learned that my heart can handle much more than I give it credit for. At times I've wished it wasn't as strong as it is, but I'm grateful for this beating heart and reminding me that I'm still here. I'm grateful that even after all of pain and heartache that I still know joy and hope, and most of all that my heart still knows love.

At the age of twelve, my mom was diagnosed with stage IV endocervical adenocarcinoma. Not only did this diagnosis shake our family to its core but also the community we live in. Both of my parents were educators, and long time employees at the K-12 school I attend. The school and community were extremely supportive of my mom and our family throughout her entire battle. She fought her disease for five and half years, of which she taught the entire time. During those years, there is no doubt that my mom was the most supportive person in my life. She instilled many qualities into me that support me still to this day when it comes to my educational goals and aspirations. Throughout her entire battle she never made cancer her focal point, she always put her kids first. Whether that be myself and my siblings or her students at school. She came to school early and stayed late every day, she hosted tutoring sessions, and even worked most summers with students who had fallen behind. After a long day at school, she came home and helped me with whatever I needed, it didn't matter the subject. I knew at the end of the day I never had to question my moms love for me, she constantly showed me through her selfless actions. She was a true inspiration to anyone around her and continuously put others above herself until her very last breath. Through my mothers nurturing and compassionate traits, my older sister also picked up qualities that I'm positive my mother instilled in her. Although my mom is no longer here, my sister has never hesitated to pick up the pieces. She has put her entire life on hold for me to make sure I'm able to achieve anything I could possibly imagine when it comes to my secondary education. Even with three kids of her own she makes time for me each and every day, whether that be attending my sporting events or helping me with my daily course work. She took a job at the school I attend just to make sure I would never feel alone or unsupported after the loss of our mom. Although senior year is just beginning, she has made my college education a top priority. She has scheduled and taken me on multiple college visits, attended my financial aide night and much more. Without the support of the women in my family, there is no way that I would be on the same educational path as I am today. Their strong, independent demeanor has helped shaped me into who I am. They both have pushed me in different ways to better myself in all aspects of life, not just school. I one day hope to inspire my own children to dream without limits and to become the best version of themselves, just as they have done for me. I can only hope to be half the role model my mother and sister have been to me throughout my life.

At twelve years old my entire world was turned upside down. At that time I did not know the impact it would have on my life today, but in that moment if felt like my life came to a complete stop. When you're at an impressionable age, most parents try to hide the harsh realities of the world. Unfortunately, my parents could not hide me from the ugly truth that was hovering over our entire family. My mom was diagnosed with Stage IV endocervical adenocarcinoma. I had no idea the severity of the disease, but quickly saw its negative effects rear its head. I was forced to hear and see things that no child should have to worry about. My mom bravely fought her disease for five years before succumbing to the inevitable. It was at this time I learned that my moms initial diagnosis was six months to live. She never made me feel like she was actively dying. She continued teaching at the school I attend, she went to most sporting events, and continued to be the nurturing and supportive mother she had always been. She never let her disease define her. In her last year of life, my mom was enrolled in home hospice, I started to realize things were changing. What many people don't know, and I don't enjoy opening up about is that I was home by myself with my mom. My dad took a job three hours away and was not home during the week. The responsibilities ultimately fell on me. I would drive my mom to her appointments, pick up different prescriptions, and make sure the house stayed in order with every day tasks such as laundry and grocery shopping. Being sixteen I had many thoughts in my head like "why me?" How am I suppose to manage these responsibilities on top of the reality of losing my mom? I emerged myself into my school activities to drown out the reality of my life at home, the reality that I was losing my mom. Academically I excelled, but emotionally I was not taking care of myself. I never realized the financial burden of a loved one dying until my mom passed. Watching my older sister handle everything with grace was enlightening but gut wrenching. Most people don't know the cost of a hospice facility is not covered by insurance, only the care received. Along with that out of pocket cost is the cost of the funeral home and cremation. Why is it expensive to die? Why is it a societal norm to charge people a hefty bill when they are mourning the loss of their loved one? The fact is, I would do everything 1,000 times over for my mom. In the last five years she taught more life lessons than she could have imagined. She was a true inspiration to me, our entire community and I'm sure many more. She taught me that the harder the goodbye, the more love there is in the relationship, try to cherish the love you shared. She taught me that you never know when your last day will be, as cliche as it sounds, live your life to the fullest each day. Although there are many lessons I could share, the final one I'm going to share is to be grateful. That is a word our family lived by. Be grateful for the time you are given, even if it doesn't feel like its enough. Be grateful for the relationships you have, you will never know the lasting impact you may have on someone.