“I know this is a little off topic, but I’d like to take a moment to tell you guys about something.” My AP US History abruptly began class. As my teacher spoke, we discovered that, along with being a history teacher, he was also the school’s Moot Court coach. He told us about the program and passed a sheet of lined paper around the class for students who had any interest in participating to attend an informational meeting. Eagerly, I added my name to the short list. I attended the meeting, and was selected for one of three teams. Late August quickly faded into the autumn months and at last, January 29, 2024 had arrived. The weeks leading up to the first competitive round had left me with dreadful anxiety. I was afraid of failure, of disappointing my teacher, my team, my parents, and myself. There were thousands of ways I could humiliate myself at this competition and it was all too easy to dwell on them. The day of the competition I had to keep a strict guard over my fears, they would not help me in the courtroom. The months spent rehearsing arguments, learning courtroom etiquette, and legal procedure had prepared me well. It was crucial that I be confident in myself. At last, I was standing in the courtroom, presenting the argument I had labored over for months. With each minute that passed I felt increasingly more empowered by my ability to speak publicly, present myself with conviction, and use logic to argue a point. I was no longer the overwhelmed girl in the car ride over, obsessing over every inconsequential detail — I was speaking with poise and determination. At the conclusion of what I now understand to be a life-changing competition, the coach of the opposing team approached me personally and commended me for my composure. I was elated and went into the next two competitions with a renewed sense of accomplishment and confidence. I made improvements each time and left each night feeling pleased. Having overcome my mental block, I was left with a second lesson to learn — how to conquer failure. My team had not been selected to move onto the quarter finals. I was utterly disappointed and spent months ruminating on every instance in which I could have changed the outcome. I was bitterly upset, and disappointed with myself. I struggled for months to recover my self esteem. Success had been well within my grasp and I was still unable to attain it. I had found a topic I was passionate about, it was blazing inside of me and no one around me could see it, nobody could validate it. My own approval was not enough. Eventually, I came to truly understand that I could not rely any longer on the approval of other people — as qualified as they may be — to determine my future or my worth. I left each competition feeling proud of myself and my achievements; I couldn't allow that feeling to change just because I received an unfavorable outcome. Studying the law brought me joy, I loved competing, and I was desperately yearning for another opportunity to do these things. Through Moot Court I found mental resilience and fortitude, I grew in my self-confidence, I had found my purpose. I may not have come to these realizations if I had moved up in the competition. I was passionate, I was proud of myself, nobody was going to strip these honors from me. I lost the competition and still came out on top.

I am many things: a daughter, friend, sister, artist, reader, Mock Trial attorney, Dr. Pepper enthusiast, the list goes on. But two of the most important things I have ever been were a student and a dancer. I started dancing in 8th grade and had to work harder from the onset to keep up with the girls — usually 4 years my junior — who had been dancing longer and were therefore better. The desire, not just to catch up but to truly excel, was a burning fire lit in my heart which I had never truly experienced previously. At first, dancing was difficult because I was a little old to be new, I was clumsy, and trying to force my feet to move in ways I had never asked them to before. However, when I crossed that threshold I was met with another, much larger burden — balancing high school and dance. For the most part, I had to figure that out on my own, dance was not a school activity which meant navigating competition weekends and homework was difficult. Additionally, I didn't seem to garner the same respect from my peers as other athletes did because my form of dance wasn’t conventional, it was foreign to them and therefore worthy of mockery. I was resolved all the more by their mockery to do well. And in doing well, I became more confident which, strangely enough, made me a better attorney for Mock Trial competitions. I was open, confident, engaging, loud, and unafraid to be subject to scrutiny or to take command of the room. In addition, dance supported me when aspects of school or Mock Trial seemed to be causing me to lose sight of what was important in the day to day and vice versa. They always kept each other in check and kept me focused. I will always be grateful for the experiences I had, and continue to have, through my time as a student athlete because it enabled me to be more confident, a better student, and gave me a space to check back into reality when my trevails as a high school student were becoming overwhelming. I am grateful that I continued to participate in my “weird” sport because I was forced to overcome my fears of being judged by my peers. I am grateful that dance and school combined gave me the presentation and research skills I needed to be successful as an attorney because, through these opportunities, I have found my passion for studying the law. I’m often tired after the days I return from practice and still have homework to do, but I couldn’t ask for a greater privilege than being asked by my teachers and coaches to do the work and have some grit.

“Come on out for dinner, honey. We’re gonna watch ‘Blue Bloods’.” My dad called me from the living room. Trudging down the hallway, I groaned at the prospect of having to watch the same grown-up show for dinner with the family every night. I would have much rather watched a cartoon of some sort. Regardless of my incessant protests, mom and dad had decided — and there was no changing their minds. I sat on the couch and ate my dinner, only offering a minimal effort to pay attention to the plot of the episode. I had wondered — sometimes aloud — how my family could possibly expect me to be interested in the “boring cop show”. I had my answer when I finally began to pay attention to one of the main characters, Erin Reagan. She was the only attorney in a family of cops and was often at odds with them, trying to balance their strong opinions, her ethics, and the realities of being a New York State prosecutor. As a young girl I only understood that she was a smart, level-headed woman in a job which demanded her best effort so that justice would prevail. I felt a connection with her morals and her personality, so much so that my parents began to refer to me as the “Erin Reagan” of the family. I carried the ideals of hard work and justice with me through High School, especially on the long days preparing to present my arguments for Mock Trial at the courthouse. I decided to participate in Mock Trial because my family has always been involved in law enforcement. I wanted to be different, truly the Erin Reagan in my family — as much as I could be as a high school student. Mock Trial gave me a concrete sense of direction for my future by helping me realize my passion for legal research and advocacy. I stood out — in my family and on my team — as a young person truly engaged in debating and legal studies from the perspective of an attorney. Because of Erin Reagan I want to be a high-achieving, competent, and well respected woman; because of Mock Trial I want to be a high-achieving, competent, and well respected attorney. After I graduate from high school I am determined to further my education in order to ensure justice prevails. I will always be glad my family made me watch ‘Blue Bloods’ and supported me through Mock Trial along with my dedicated coaches and amazing co-counsel. I have never been so passionate about anything as I have been about being seen as an intelligent and articulate debater.