Have you ever taken anything for granted and regretted later on? I’ve learned a lot about taken things for granted recently. In January, I left for a six-month mission trip, not knowing where the path ahead would lead. I didn’t know how our team was going to serve the local communities, what obstacles we would face, or what lessons we would learn. Two months into this trip, and I have already learned so much. The communities we helped taught us the importance of selfless, love, and sacrifice. One day, we were helping at a local school in a small village in Belize. There had been a recent outbreak in covid, and as a result, many of the teachers can gotten sick. In the U.S., when a teacher is sick, the school often sends a substitute teacher to teach the class while the teacher is out. However in other countries where education isn’t as accessible, they often don’t have the luxury of substitute teachers. As a result, those students just don’t get to go to school until their teacher gets better. Often, this means weeks of missed lessons and strain on other teachers. I know that when I was a student, the classes would often tease or make trouble for the substitute teachers. I realized that I often took their showing up for granted. So, our team stepped in to help out at the school. We swept and mopped the classrooms, deep cleaned the bathrooms, tidied up the schoolyard, graded homework, and handmade coloring worksheets for the kids. Our hard work made me appreciate teachers around the world all the more. Once the teachers started getting better, we helped clean their classrooms at the end of the day. Another teammate and I helped Ms. Gladyss, who was still unable to do much physical labor due to her healing lungs. Every day, we came to sweep and mop. Ms. Gladyss told us the day after our first day helping her, that the kids had remarked how nice the room smelled when they came into class, and how “it didn’t smell like stinky feet anymore.” We chuckled quite a bit after that remark. Even though our work was behind the scenes, I still felt seen and appreciated. I didn’t care that it was a small thing. It just felt nice that we were able to help the teachers and give them a sense of comfort that we were there to serve them. Helping people might not always be enjoyable, but we are humanity. We were meant to build each other up and encourage each other. So go out and do that, even if it’s something mundane, like helping someone cross the street.

Everyone is fighting a secret battle, including me. For some, it could be insecurities or lack of self-esteem, for others it could be abuse. For me, it was my depression and anxiety. My brain ate itself, one cell at a time, as I cried myself to sleep each night against my tear-stained pillow. Isolated, broken, and alone. But to find my identity, I had to lose it. I lost battles with my parents, my friends, and even my own inner being. I became distant and lonely. I thought that if I withdrew to my own hidden world, then I wouldn’t have to feel the pain every time I dared remove my mask, and spill my guts to someone. Some nights, I lay in my bed, awake and restless, thinking that it wasn’t worth it anymore. Why suffer in life if you could have peace in death? What I didn’t know then, is that I had the choice to not wallow in my own pain and self-pity. I only saw the easy choice. The choice to stay where I was and avert my eyes from the hands trying to help me. It was at the moment when I reached my darkest place that I realized I needed help. I told my parents my inner struggles, and they found me a therapist that changed my life. Unlike the counselor I had before, my new therapist challenged me to choose joy, go outside my comfort zone, and get my life together. I did just that. I began applying to colleges and gap year programs. I became more involved with my community, and I actually enjoyed the things I once found joy in, like playing the piano or going on walks in the woods. If it wasn’t for my change in attitude and mindset, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t be committed to my dream school, and I wouldn’t be on the mission trip of a lifetime helping others. Because of my struggle, I know that I want to help others overcome the same things I did. I will be going to college to get a degree in Social Work in hopes that I can help youth who struggle with mental illness find hope. Even though the world can be messy, complicated, scary, and seem hopeless, it is up to us to be beacons of light in times of darkness.

Have you ever felt alone? Lost? Broken? Ashamed? Like you couldn’t be fixed no matter what? I know I have. But I also know that there is light. There is hope. There are people out there that love you despite your flaws and shadows. A year ago, I didn’t know that there was hope for me. My faith in God has grown so much in knowing that He has a plan for me, a plan to prosper me and not to harm me, but to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). In that, I have found so much joy and peace. Despite the continuance of mental illness, I know that there are greater things to come, and that I have a purpose here on this earth. It is my dream to be able to tell people that there is hope and light. I hope to get my Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology and minor in Missions at Wheaton College. Afterwards, I plan to get my Master’s Degree in Social Work. I hope that I can help youth who struggle with mental illness to learn to find a light, and to keep that light. Where there is light, there is hope. And where there is hope, there are second chances.

Have you ever felt lonely in the presence of company? I know I have. I know the feeling when you stop talking with a group of people and nobody notices. I know what it's like not to have a best friend with who you share your deepest secrets. I know what it's like to think that if you disappeared forever, no one would care. But I have something to tell you. You are not alone. I know that expression feels like a cliché, but those four words tell the truth. Somewhere out there, there is someone who cares deeply for you. It could be your future spouse, your favorite cousin, or a friend a thousand miles away who still thinks of you every day. You may be asking, what does this have to do with helping others? Well, I have an answer for you. I help others through writing. A year and a half ago, I started a blog to share my struggle with mental health with the world. When you face anxiety, depression, or any mental illness, sometimes seeing someone else's journey helps you to realize that you're not the only person with those struggles. Despite the fact that every person is different, our struggles may be similar. I may be able to speak light into your life while you face the darkness. A comfortable presence may bring peace to those facing the darkest of times. Seeing someone find their way out of the darkness can bring the realization that you too, can find your way to the light.