As far back as I can remember, I have been an anxious girl. Frequent panic attacks and tears have followed me throughout my 17 years of life, the severity peaking around junior year of high school. I felt as though I were stuck in my own mind, too afraid to leave the comfort of isolation. In my struggle, I had a bubbly classmate in history poke and prod me to join the track team. I was incredibly hesitant. I was terrified of making a fool of myself in front of dozens of people. I turned the offer down. Their persistence continued, asking me everyday if I would throw with them. I caved, stepping onto the field as a shot put thrower in March. To this day, this was one of the best decisions of my life. I had a routine to fall into to boost my physical health, supportive teammates and coaches, and a new found skill to build my confidence. The confidence boost bled into my life outside of athletics as well, the sense of community leading me to feel much less alone in my day to day life. The most rewarding part of joining this new sport was the bonds I created with my teammates. Retrieving discuses and singing niche songs to each other or competing to improve at a technique we learned together are among my favorite memories from high school. I even grew close with a few outside of track, sparking friendships that helped to shape the person I am today. My friend and I joked about “world domination” in the universe of throwing as we both improved so much after just one year. I looked forward to growing even closer with them next year as we prepared to end our high school journey together. Just as I started to enter my senior year, I learned of that same friend’s passing. They took their own life just two days before their senior year began. The future we had looked forward to together would now be altered forever. The grief consumed me. The field behind the school was no longer a safe space, but a memorial to the joy that was once there. The games we would play together on our phones in history when class was dull sat unused on my homescreen. I was uncertain if I could continue throwing with the absence of the person who started it all for me. I am still navigating this loss. Despite the loss of our chance at “world domination”, I decided to do everything I could to continue for them. I chose to enter the field of nursing in hopes of saving others that are hesitant to reach out, just as I wished to save my friend. I hope to live the way they did, spreading positivity and reaching out to those that feel isolated. They were able to pull me out of the darkest point in my life while, unbeknownst to me, struggling with their own. I want to bring hope to those struggling in silence, before it is too late. Though it feels impossible, honoring our loved ones who did not win their battle is how we bring awareness to mental health and shine light on the darkness.