During the beginning of COVID-19, I was hanging out with a small group of co-isolated friends when one of them got a call from her mother saying “Carson Bride committed suicide”. Carson was a year above me in a small school of around 200 high school students. He had just finished his Sophomore year and I had just finished my Freshman year. We shared a table in Spanish class together as well as in many other classes and spent lots of time joking around about movies, animals (specifically lizards), and our differences in music taste. His Spanish was practically perfect for Spanish 2 and his smile lit up a room. During my brief time with him, I never would have guessed what was happening behind his bubbly personality. Yet for months, he was viciously bullied over Snapchat by other students through YOLO and other anonymous chatting platforms. For days after hearing the news of his death, I cried in my bathtub, bedroom, kitchen floor, and TV room, constantly wondering what I could have done and why platforms like YOLO existed. After his death, his mother Kristin fought to change things to honor him and possibly save future cyber-bullying victims, successfully creating Carson's law, a bill requiring Oregon schools to report bullying to the parents of the victim and the perpetrator, as well as getting Snapchat to suspend the use of YOLO. A few years later, my school raised money for suicide prevention programs to complete Carson’s last wish, as well as honoring his life in our yearbook and planting a tree in the front of the school in his name. To this day, Carson’s suicide still impacts me. When I walk by the Spanish classroom, see his tree, get excited for Summer, or witness cyberbullying I am met with flashbacks to our moments together, the sadness I felt for months after his death, and reminders of how common mental health struggles are in today's society. Just like him, I struggled with my mental health for years as a result of bullying, divorce, sibling addiction, changing schools, and being a part of a toxic school community. Carson’s death also filled me with anger towards social media apps that protect and allow bullying as well as the bullies in my own community. I used this anger to fuel myself, donating money to suicide prevention organizations, researching ways to improve mental health, and reaching out if I felt my friends were in any sort of harm. Every day, I am reminded of how many individuals struggle with mental health and the stigma that surrounds it. I will never forget Carson’s death or the millions of others who have passed away as a result of suicide. For the rest of my life, I plan to dedicate time and money to mental health care, mental health support, suicide prevention, and improving quality of life.

In 3rd grade, my teacher tasked me to create an invention over Summer break. I struggled with coming up with decent ideas until my family decided to play a game of whiffle ball. Even though the whiffle balls have holes and seem friendly to the avid player, when the ball hit my face, blood gushed out. As my nose dripped with blood, my parents ran to get some tissues from the bathroom counter. There I sat, holding my nose and wishing I could enjoy the popsicles my brothers were eating nearby. That moment sparked my first creation. I glued cotton balls to either side of a clothespin and taped a folded piece of toilet paper to either side to create cushioning below and on both sides of the nose. Voila! The clothespin clamped the nose and the toilet paper and cotton balls stopped any escaped blood. I wish at the time I was able to create a business from it, but alas, I had no clue how. Following that day, I became obsessed with solving problems and inventing. I attempted to create bandaids that would squeeze out Neosporin when pressed for easy storage and application, beanies with pockets inside to prevent pickpocketing, skiing goggles that turned the slopes into a video game with VR coins and mystery boxes, and bikes with soft cushions. I attempted to create the beanies and bandaids but did not succeed. I even got stopped at TSA for my collection of invention tools. The world has many problems including mental illness, climate change, opioids, college, gasoline, food, cancer, insurance, crime, gun violence, and hatred toward minorities. Thinking about it all makes me sick, yet we must think about it to address it. If I could solve one of these right now with my current education and unlimited money and resources, it would be food. American food is full of additives, chemicals, dyes, excessive sugar, and excessive sodium, but many people do not care or simply can't afford other options. The current food industry exists to make its customers addicted to their products for maximum revenue. The FDA was formed after formaldehyde and many other terrible things were found in food. While they have made great strides, they simply haven't done enough. The FDA is doing less than most countries, especially those in Europe. With my unlimited money and resources, I would create new regulations, monitor large companies, focus on promoting organic food, ethical farms in the dairy and meat industry, research the effects of additives and chemicals, and prioritize smaller farms over large corporations. Food impacts everything from physical health, mental well-being, obesity levels, abuse of animals, allergies, and more. Prioritizing reform within the food industry in America is absolutely necessary for the livelihood of Americans.

In the fall of my Junior year, a CPS case was opened up against my parents. As I was bombarded with questions about my living situation, safety, and relationship with my parents, I grew overwhelmed and exhausted. Finally, the case was over but instead of everything going back to normal, I ended up moving from home to home between friends' houses, distant relatives, and my two parents. This impacted my mental health in many ways. Within weeks, I spent every night crying myself to sleep, most classes hiding in the bathroom, I stopped eating, started wearing baggy clothes, and stopped focusing on self-care. I spiraled downward into a world of depression, OCD, anxiety, and anorexia. Not only did this affect me, but it affected everyone around me. At the beginning of the year, I had created a very healthy relationship with two of my classmates, Olivia and Colin. Every weekend, we spent hours driving to different drive-throughs, shopping at the mall, baking cakes, playing mini-golf, and exploring other fun areas. When I began struggling with mental illness, we slowly began to drift apart. They felt like I was too much to handle and they didn’t want to be associated with someone who had “issues”. Within weeks we went from hugging each other at the start of every class to hiding their hangout plans from me. This loss of a friendship didn’t necessarily worsen my mental health, but it made me feel like something was wrong with me and that I was an outsider. In the spring of that year, I was seated 3rd in our 3A tennis districts and was extremely excited for the 6 am morning with my teammates. As I woke up at 5 am, I urged my mom to get ready to drive me, but she looked at me with a sad look. She informed me that my classmate's parents had told the coach that they didn’t want my mental illnesses rubbing off on their children and that they did not want me anywhere near tennis districts. I was shocked. I had been improving my mental health and sports were one of the main things that helped me overcome feelings of depression and anxiety. Together, with my mom, we called the school over and over again, begging to be let back into the competition, until I finally was. I walked into the tennis dome with my head held high as parents whispered back and forth and my coach glared at me. I would never let someone discriminate against me because of my mental illness. The more and more I struggled with mental health, the more and more I felt like I was weird, broken, and unwanted. I continued to lose friends like leaves from a tree in the fall. Finally, at the end of the school year, I got the help I needed. I was sent to a wilderness program called Evoke. At Evoke, I met some of the brightest and kindest friends that I could relate to. Just like me, many of them struggled with mental health issues, eating disorders, abuse, and other trauma. Through my relationship with these students, I learned so much about myself and that I was normal. I finally felt like I fit in and that bond we made will never be broken. In some ways, I am glad I have suffered from mental health issues because, without them, I wouldn’t have become the caring, adventurous, and understanding person I am today.