Education has already changed my life and I will forever be grateful to my parents for sending me to school regardless of their shortcomings in life, especially within the realm of academia. As a first-generation college student in my family, I pride myself in representing my family and community. In fact, I represent my country as being the only student from Papua New Guinea attending Cornerstone University in the midst of other international students at my college. It has always been (and still is) my dream to become a cardiac surgeon. Initially, I majored in pre-med before switching my major to nursing due to the lack of financial support. Moreover, as an international student in America, I was already on a lot of restrictions in regards to my F1-visa requirements. Consequently, I could not work off-campus so I was making nine dollars per hour while working as a janitor on my campus for a total of twenty hours per week. Nevertheless, I will always be grateful that I get to work and make some money in order to survive in a foreign country, so far from home. I would truly appreciate this scholarship towards my Bachelors in Nursing degree because I am currently struggling to pay my school bills as an international student living in America, while barely making ends meet. With English not being my first, but rather my third language, I almost always feel like the workload is always too much. Unlike the Americans who were born-and-raised in an English-speaking household, international students must adapt to the dialect, accent, slangs, sarcasm, and all the other norms of speech in order to be relatable, or will be easily misunderstood. Hence, learning to speak English is far more different from speaking it; it is one of the best things I had to learn in school in order to be able to speak, read, and write in English. Moreover, I would have had a slimmer chance to attend a college in America if I had no prior knowledge in English because it is one of the requirements in order to apply to a college. I can still remember how my mum would encourage me and my brother to read a chapter of the Bible before going to bed, and after waking up in the morning to get acquainted with the english-language. Indeed, we had limited resources to learning English, and we worked ten-times harder in school to make it to the level where we are today; we still have a long way to go because there's alway room for improvement. Growing up, I had no access to a library, or even books of any kind, so I had to read the Bible and listen to American music to learn how and when to use a certain word, or even a phrase in English. Thus, I would definitely give back to my community by donating children books and literature to encourage learning at the local/rural level so unlike me, other children may have a chance to learn English in a more simpler way. Education has clearly helped me recognize my strengths and weaknesses on the pathway of achieving my goals in life. Therefore, without education, I would most definitely be ignorant to so many things in life. The same is true for any other kid if they are not educated. Thus, recognizing this need, I feel honored to be the one to give back to my community, by giving other kids a chance in recognizing their dreams in life.

This is a very sensitive topic for me to write about especially because I could loose my dad anytime due to his current diagnosis of advanced Alcoholic Cardiomyopathy (ACM). When I first saw "Amazing Grace Scholarship" it peaked my interest because ironically my name is Grace, but my mum calls me amazing Grace. If I were to tell you that almost all my family members are alcoholics, you would not believe me, but if you do, then hear me out. I grew up watching my dad drink alcohol in the mornings, afternoons, evenings, weekends, holidays, family reunions, and I thought it was rather odd to see my dad sober once in a while only to find out later that he was broke during those times. My poor mother loved my dad so much that she would do almost anything to keep my dad safe while he was recklessly drinking his life away. My dad verbally, physically, and mentally abused my mother, but this black queen meant it when she said "for better or for worse" and stood by my dad all these miserable years. Unfortunately, my older brother turned to drugs and alcohol when he was only 13 years-old, and so did my baby sister and I ended up following the wrong crowd and almost got killed on multiple occasions. Nevertheless, I never left the church; I kept going to church even when all the "faithful christians" talked bad about me and my family. I feel sorry for those who could not see Jesus and His love for them because of people in the church who are so judgmental and push them away. My mum never turned her back on us when everyone else did, she did everything in her power to give us the best with the little money she made as a community health worker in a third world country. My parents separated when I was 6 years-old because of dad's alcohol addiction and domestic violence towards my mum. It was horrifying watching mum get bit up for no reason, my throat hurts from trying to retell this story. I wished I never had such a horrible upbringing, but that's just not the case. As my siblings took their own paths in life, I was focused on my goal of becoming a physician. I worked so hard in school, but I never got a placement into my college of choice and it was devastating. Moreover, my dad called me to tell me about how dumb I was that I didn't get any offers and that I was never going to make it in life. It hurt so bad coming from him, especially because he was never really around, but yet his worlds stung so much. Both of my siblings didn't complete High School or college, so I have been helping my siblings to apply to colleges of their liking so they could get their degree and stop using alcohol and drugs as a resort to their happiness. I feel obligated to help them recover so they can return to their normal, and beautiful selves. Furthermore, we do not have the money to send them to Rehab so with the help of some friends, we have came up with a program called "Love Me for Me" to help young adults and even teenagers find their way back home through connecting with former addicts and ex-cons who have completely changed their lives around and giving back to the community. Hence, this is how I intend on spending the rest of my life as a nurse who takes care of people.

"Umi wan sol wara" is the phrase I always use whenever I meet a fellow Pacific Islander; it translates into "we share the same ocean" or "we are one" in English - I get so excited whenever I meet a Pacific Islander because I know I can relate to them in so many ways than one. As a Papua New Guinean, I had the privilege to experience the vast cultural heritage from all across the Pacific. I used to think life was always chill everywhere else in the world; where I could just wrap a lap-lap around my waist and chill by the seaside after school, or show up uninvited to my relatives houses whenever I'm bored or hungry because communal relationships was all that I was used to. Moreover, time stood still when chapu (grandpa) or chachu (grandma) told us stories by the fire as the cool ocean breeze saturate the atmosphere. Nevertheless... Life is an interesting dilemma and it can change your story forever, like it did mine. Unfortunately, I did not get accepted into any of the colleges of my choosing after completing High School in 2017 - I was devastated! But my God showed up, like he always does. I never once doubted God's plan for my life regardless of where I am in life because I have personally seen His mercy over my life countless times. Hence, I always knew I was destined for greatness. Fast forward to the year 2018, when I was hopeless, but never stopped praying. I got my wake-up call from the United States to study abroad, I was absolutely speechless because I had big dreams, but America felt bigger than my dreams. I never even dared to dream about studying in the United States of America - I am here now, what does this mean to me as a Pacific Islander? It means that I get to testify of my faith and culture to a society that is already rich in diversity. Indeed, America is the hub of all types of cultures and religions due to people groups from all around the world making it their home, or even their home away from home. With my time here in the US, I have done so much to extend my knowledge and skills with different roles in-and-out of school. I did things I would have necessarily not have done if I was still back home. The countless opportunities I was provided with were my stepping stones to where I was supposed to be, and I was intentional about every thing I participated in. As my knowledge in certain topics in life grew, I started educating my parents on things they were ignorant too. I realized the need to educate my parents, siblings, cousins, and even distant relatives on how to make money, start projects, reading, music, and so on. Perhaps, I was meant to come here all along to represent my culture and community so others may experience and appreciate the uniqueness of my culture through me. I should receive this scholarship because I need this money to help pay my outstanding school bill of $8000, which is due before the year of 2024 ends. If becoming a nurse required no fees, but only skills, compassion, and dedication to humanity; I would absolutely be one already. Unfortunately, that is not the case, and being an international student restricts me from working off-campus and I am in desperate need for financial assistance. With your help, I will be one step closer to achieving my dream of becoming a Psychiatric Nurse. Thank You!

Hi beautiful people, my name is Grace and I am an international student from Papua New Guinea majoring in Nursing at Cornerstone University in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I have never been more proud to represent my community as the only Pacific Islander at my College. It has truly been an amazing journey living in the United States as I come to love the people, places, and especially the food. I have been to almost all the States in the USA and I must say - I am intrigued by the vast cultural diversity all throughout America. This scholarship will truly help me pay for the remainder of my unpaid tuition of $8000 which I have outstanding with my college. As an international student, I don’t have the privilege to work off-campus and I am only allowed to work 20 hours in a week for my on-campus job as a janitor, with a hourly rate of $10. Hence, this scholarship will truly be a blessing for me and my family as they too are also struggling financially to help me financially as I work towards my BSN in Nursing. Unfortunately, I write with a heavy heart, because my dad got diagnosed with Stage II Heart Failure 4 years ago and he lost his job due to the strenuous work he is expected to perform. Consequently, his medical expenses has been weighing heavily on my family as we are supporting him with all the love and care he deserves. As my family’s representative, I do appreciate them for entrusting me with all they had to finance my education, and they continue to do so. I aspire to be the best at what I’m passionate about and that for me is nursing. I want my parents to be proud, but I most definitely want my patients to feel loved and comforted while I’m their caregiver. I want parents to know they can trust me to take good care of their child, and family to know I have their best interest at heart as I do all that I can be with the time I have. So, with all that being said, I can’t wait to be a Psychiatric Nurse and help patients with their mental health after graduating from Nursing School. As the Vice President of International Friendship Inc. at my university, I volunteer my time to help international students around West Michigan colleges with transportation, clothes donations, shop, food supplies, and many more. I feel responsible for people naturally and once I left home for the US, I instantly became available for college students who were far from home and help to create a safe space for international students to be confident and fierce about their goals in education as they strive for excellence. Moreover, American students are always welcome to join these programs as we know that not everyone comes from a whole family, and that some students, despite their background, require additional help and support in order to feel at home. Because failure is NEVER final. I have learned to accept life with an attitude that I have the power to change my life forever. I did fail at a lot of things in life, but I never regretted the decisions I made to overcome these necessary obstacles. Yes, failure is necessary to get me to where I need to go. Hence, my greatest strength is remaining calm under adversity, staying focused while being distracted and never giving up on anyone because everyone deserves a chance in life. Thank you for this awesome opportunity.

Happier Than Ever, was the first song that made me felt so sad that I did not realize sooner that I can be happy without you – yes you, who-must-not-be-named, because you made me think I would never be good enough. I will never relate to you because all I did for you was give you all the best parts of me, and I never got anything close to what I gave. This song helped me realize that I should never settle for the bare minimum because I deserve better, and no one should feel miserable for being their self, unapologetically. It was so exhausting to please someone who would never relate to my feelings and made me feel sad all the time. When the Party’s Over, I fell in love with my best friend and didn’t even realize it at the time, we were both in toxic relationships so we would share our pain to each other because we were all each other had. He was the sweetest person God blessed me with, I wish I had told him how I really felt about him. The summer of 2022, we became so close, and he even told me he had feelings for me, but I was too obsessed with my toxic relationship that I brushed off the thought of us being together and it hurt him. Fast forward to the present, he is now married to someone who genuinely loves him unconditionally and I am happy for him, but it aches me just a little bit when I see him with someone other than me. It feels like I lost my soul mate, someone who truly appreciates my weirdness and loves me for me; he’d make time for me and never said no to anything I asked him to do – even my family adores him. Lovely, junior year of nursing school took a toll on my mental health because I performed very poorly and ultimately got kicked out of the nursing program at my school. Moreover, I had $20,000 outstanding tuition loan, $7000 outstanding school bill from the previous semester, my family left for Alaska for six months and all these added to my depression, and I fell sick – mentally and physically. Yes, I had friends who came to check on me, but I was devastated that I failed nursing school, and I lost a lot of weight too. I resonate with this song the most because I realized that the only person who was going to get me out of this place of depression and feeling defeated was myself. Hence, during my summer break, I took charge of my life and admitted to myself that I had a problem, and I will seek help from the people who love me unconditionally. However, it is easier said than done and if you think otherwise than you have never felt so isolated like I felt. Wish I could explain it better, but here’s to a new beginning because I believe that if I can go that low in life, I could most definitely go high and become a better person for myself foremost and people around me.

Hello Friends! I am an international student from Papua New Guinea majoring in nursing at Cornerstone University. This fall will be my junior year and my educational journey has been quite the ride. I've been in America for almost five years and I cannot tell you how much I miss home; I want to go home but I and my family can't afford it. Nevertheless, I've been spending my long summer months volunteering in Senior Citizen Homes and Children's Ministry camps/hospitals to get a gist of what I will be doing in the future. I realized that I have gained a lot of experience and knowledge from the people I help, and even better, I have made lifelong friends. Before coming to America for studies, I have always had an awkward experience with people who are special needs and I didn't know how to communicate or help them whenever I wanted to; I felt like I was doing them a favor by ignoring them whenever I was approached by one, thinking they just don't want to be bothered by anyone - I was obviously wrong. In fact, I had an encounter with a deaf person once, who almost got hit by a car because I didn't care enough to start a simple conversation when we were the only girls crossing the street together. The ignorance of my surrounding almost cost me a life and this event made me realize how one can be so self-centered and not care about others unintentionally. I honestly appreciate the American education system because it allows students to have first-hand experience in the field that they are majoring in through internships, shadowing, or even volunteering. Unfortunately, as an international student, I am not restricted to certain activities pertaining to employment off-campus. Hence, I was not allowed to work off-campus, even though I desired to work in the children's hospital and nursing homes near me. However, I did not let that stop me from volunteering in these places to lend an extra hand to the staff, especially during special events for patients. During the past four summer I spent here in America, I have learned so much about healthcare and how little things matter in life from the children I worked with. I have worked with over 2000 children who suffer from one or more mental illnesses and I have aided caregivers by designing programs for children pertaining to science and history - mostly because I've always loved these two subjects, so why not share what I love to the people I love? I also design games for children to take part in as therapeutical so that they are not intimidated by the standard exercises. After graduation, I plan to work as a Psychiatric Nurse at Pine Rest. I have already presented to the recruiting agent at Pine Rest Michigan about my plans for International Mental Health Advocacy for children and older adults and they acknowledged my research after an hour-long presentation. Furthermore, I am honored to be able to pioneer a Children's Ministry Group back home to support children and families who are considered to be special needs. I have received donations and funds from the community to fund these children's needs. For instance, I make sure my team back home is visiting children and families with basic needs like food, water, clothes, and educational supplies. To be honest, life in a third-world country like Papua New Guinea is not the greatest. Hence, we make do with the little we are blessed with to help those who are helpless. Currently, I have no one supporting me, but my mother and younger sister tirelessly check up on the children we help support so these kids can get the education they deserve. It is really hard to carry out my dream when I don't receive any funding, but I believe that one day I will make enough money, or receive enough money to cater to the needs of these precious souls. Thank you so much for considering my application. I most definitely will be honored to be a recipient of this award and look forward to continue touch the lives of amazing children everywhere I go because every child is special.

Hi everyone! For starters, I would like to thank you all for giving me this opportunity to apply and for being generous towards countless students over the years, your kindness does make a significant difference in people's lives. I am an international student from Papua New Guinea majoring in Nursing. After nursing school, I plan to work as a Psychiatric Nurse for a year and then go to medical school the year after. I have struggled financially my whole life and I do not wish the same for the upcoming generation. It is sad to think that society is desperate to create a brighter future through education, yet this education is so expensive. Sometimes I wish I was not born into a poor family, but then I realize that I would've never had the experiences I had if I did. Indeed, growing up in a poor household with no father figure has a toll not only on your education but also on your well-being and relationships outside of the home. I realize that I learned to appreciate life even more when I have less money, food, clothing, and even access to education. You may call these challenges in life, but they are what keeps me going. These challenges motivate me to never lose focus of my purpose in life. Nevertheless, some challenges can break your very soul regardless of how strong you may think you are. For the longest time, my greatest challenge was the fear of failing - which I did eventually. After receiving my grades from the Department of Higher Education, I was devasted. Even worse, my dad (who was absent almost half of my life) called to tell me how disappointed he was to have me as his daughter. I was devasted and wanted to end my life; it didn't make sense to think how words can turn one's life upside down, but I'm grateful it did mine. My dad never believed in me, but I proved him wrong the day I got accepted to study premed (eventually switched to nursing) in America. STEM excites me because it means that as long as we can research and figure life out through technology and science, we are able to push our minds to places we never thought existed. Indeed, I am a nursing student, but I am not restricted to studying only nursing skills, in my leisure time I study microbes and their mechanisms. Moreover, I am always excited to review peer-reviewed articles about medical technology and identify possible difficulties that can become an issue in the healthcare system in the near future. One thing I have always wanted to do was to build an orphanage for children who are mentally challenged. I'd love to surround myself with young minds who can be belittled and overlooked by society. I want children to explore the world through nature and science and change their communities for the better. In fact, I grew up watching children with special needs being made fun of and rejected because of their health condition. Even worse, people who aren't educated cannot do much to help these kids. Therefore, I am currently an advocate for these kids back home and also while I'm studying in the US, I try to volunteer at places where I can make a difference in a kid's life. I know I can make a difference in the future because I am already making a difference in my work field. I do a lot of reviewing and editorial work at work and I believe that I can work to enhance my experiences wherever I'm working. I understand that technology makes life easier and faster, but I am also aware of the flaws that come with it. Hence, I always make sure I have a backup manual plan to aid me whenever it is necessary. As a student nurse, I do a lot more than just write papers and learn how to save lives; I like to think that I can be flexible in any field if I put the time and effort into it. I currently am studying Chinese to understand their language in order to understand their work and how they run things on a daily basis. My government has recently purchased medical equipment to assist in radiotherapy from China and I have done research on this equipment last summer and I will be presenting it to my administrators to critique it before the publication company back home publish it. Hence, I am very serious about my work because I am not just a nurse, but a collaborator, an advocate, a case manager, a researcher, and a caregiver to humanity. I am looking forward to working with kids who are interested in scientific and historical research and I cannot wait to share about the history of microbiology with a group of 5th graders at my local Middle School this Monday. I

Out of the numerous issues we are constantly faced with throughout our lifetime, one can only do so much to ignite hope where all hope is lost. Hello everyone! I am an international student from Papua New Guinea, a third-world South Pacific island country. My country is rich in cultural diversity and many tourists call it home, but I'm afraid it has become an abode for foreigners who do not intend to advocate for the endangered wildlife, nor are their ears open to the social injustice in the country. I mean why would travelers be concerned about pit-stops, at the end of the day, they are just passing by. Well, this is the place I call home, not the kind of home that accommodates for a week, or two, but a place where even if I tour the whole world and am bejeweled by the wonders and delicacies of the world, my heart will always yearn to come back to. As established, cultural practices are widely practiced throughout my country. However, these practices not only belittle the rights of women, but even worse, it normalizes violence against women and girls. Boys grow up watching their sisters and mothers get bit up after being accused of practicing witchcraft and think it is just how life is. I thought traveling to America to study would change my mindset, and it did. At first, I didn't quite understand why there were so many people living on the streets, why gun violence in schools was constantly showing up on TV, or even mental health was an everyday topic in class. All these were not completely foreign to me, but growing up in a third-world country, my perception of America was always about how freedom brings prosperity physically and mentally to the people living in the land of the free and brave. I've been in America for almost five years now and I have come to the conclusion that I just don't want to get educated and go back home to start serving my people, but I start serving the people I am surrounded by. Yes, my F-1 student visa tells me that I am an alien living in America only for study purposes, but I work so hard every day to help Americans around me struggling with mental health (depression, PTSD, anxiety, suicidal ideations, etc.) to cope with daily struggles. I am currently a junior nursing student at Cornerstone University and after graduation, I plan to work as a Psychiatric Nurse at a children's hospital here in Michigan. As a student, I mentor and counsel fellow students who are struggling with their mental health and I also volunteer to aid senior citizens (especially veterans) to cope with PTSD, depression, and Alzheimer's. I believe that wherever I am right now, it was meant to be. I was meant to come to America and be the servant I was born to be by giving hope to people who cannot find their life's worth in this society. As a young adult, I believe that I am an advocate for those who struggle with their mental health, especially those who cannot speak up because of fear of what will happen if they do. Hence, I also advocate for women's and children's rights back home through my platform as an international nursing student. I cannot wait to partner with Pine Rest in the future to reach countries that are underrepresented in mental health, woman's health, and gender equality. I believe everyone can do a little bit more with the time they are given to touch a life wherever.

As a ten year old, I remember writing, “Dear Diary, one day I will be a star, not just any star but a SUPERSTAR.” Now, I know why that ten year old wrote that, because I am a superstar. I know I’m a superstar every time I walk into the hospital because I get to touch a life. I may not be everyone’s superstar, but I will be someone’s. So, the dream version of my future self will remain a superstar no matter what.

For the longest time, I didn’t know what I was fighting for. I was lost and hopeless and I hated the fact that I felt like I was grieving alone. People even asked why I had bruises around my eyes, and they didn’t believe my response; I couldn’t believe one could get bruises from intense crying. After the passing of my beloved grandfather, my whole life fell apart. People say angels do exist amongst us and mine was my late grandfather. My biological father was an alcoholic and he was very abusive, he would always beat my mother every time he was drunk. I was traumatized seeing bruises all over my mother’s body, especially her beautiful face. My grandfather was disgusted by this inhumane act of domestic violence against his daughter. So, he got me, my mother, and my two siblings out of our home so we could live with him. I was four when my grandfather took us in and that was the best thing that ever happened to me, but that didn’t make me forget everything that my father did, and I hated him for it. Nevertheless, I was not overcome by hatred and fear anymore. My grandfather taught me to love the unlovable and boy I tell you, it took me years to finally forgive my father and welcome him back into my life. After High School, all the colleges I applied to rejected me, and everyone in my family called me a failure, except my grandfather. My parents didn’t want to support me financially so I was certain that my future was over, but my grandfather had another plan for me. He helped me apply to a college in Michigan and I got accepted to study nursing. He was the only social, mental, and financial support I had. As an international student, being a freshman was not easy for me, I felt like I was alone all over again; I remember thinking about why I had to travel eleven thousand miles to attend college in a foreign land – as if there were no colleges back home. Moreover, English not being my first language made me feel dumb and misunderstood all the time. My grandfather’s passing left me wounded internally, but his legacy healed me, even from a faraway land. Now, I am trying to complete my Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing so I can send my younger sister to college. My younger sister has been shunned by my family and the community back home after she got pregnant out of wedlock. I still remember the day she wanted to get an abortion and I talked her out of it because I know that no child is a mistake, but a precious gift to fight for. I have lost enough loved ones already and I knew I would lose another if my sister had gone through with the abortion. I want her to realize that regardless of how hard life can be, I will never stop believing in her, just like my grandfather who never stopped believing in me. I now know what matters in my life, I know why I must fight because I am my sister’s hope, and not just hers, but also my sweet little niece. Indeed, death is inevitable, but so is life; life reminds us of our purpose regardless of death. Hence, I choose to be intentional about my decisions in life, so others around me can hope for the best, remain in the worst, and never give up. For we are all warriors, and warriors are survivors who never stopped fighting.

Cat, I have to say, for a long time, I didn’t know what I was fighting for. I was lost and hopeless and I hated the fact that I felt like I was grieving alone. People even asked why I had bruises around my eyes, and they didn’t believe my response; I couldn’t believe one could get bruises from intense crying. After the passing of my beloved grandfather, my whole life fell apart. People say angels do exist amongst us and mine was my late grandfather. My grandfather was my mentor, superman, best friend, and most importantly the father figure that I never had. My biological father was an alcoholic and he was very abusive, he would always beat my mother every time he was drunk. I was traumatized seeing bruises all over my mother’s body, especially her beautiful face. My grandfather was disgusted by this inhumane act of domestic violence against his daughter. So, he got me, my mother, and my two siblings out of our home so we could live with him. I was four when my grandfather took us in and that was the best thing that ever happened to me. As time went by, I grew up with hatred toward my father and I wished death upon him every passing day; I recall writing letters-upon-letters expressing my anger towards him even after we left him. Nevertheless, I was not overcome by hatred and fear anymore. My grandfather taught me to love the unlovable and boy I tell you, it took me years to finally forgive my father and welcome him back into my life. After High School, all the colleges I applied to rejected me, and everyone in my family called me a failure, except my grandfather. My parents didn’t want to support me financially so I was certain that my future was over, but my grandfather had another plan for me. He helped me apply to a college in Michigan and I got accepted to study nursing. He was the only social, mental, and financial support I had. As an international student, I felt like I was alone all over again; I remember thinking about why I had to travel eleven thousand miles to attend college in a foreign land – as if there were no colleges back home. Moreover, English not being my first language made me feel dumb and misunderstood all the time. As always, I would call my grandfather for advice and support to deal with college life. You see, my grandfather was a Nurse in Anesthesia, and I drew my inspiration from him; he was very passionate about preserving life in more ways than one. As I was getting ready to experience my first summer break in Michigan, I received the most devasting news from home – my sweet gran-pa-pa died from a heart attack. “UTTER SHOCK!” is the only term I could use to describe how I felt; I didn’t want to believe what I heard over the phone. Even worse, was the fact that I couldn’t afford a ticket to go home for his funeral; I was so devastated. I didn’t know how to grieve all by myself, especially when I was far away from home. Nevertheless, I knew that my grandfather would not want to see me be overwhelmed by grief, but rather stay focused amidst the pain and struggle. No one truly knew me as my grandfather did, he was always intentional about everything he did in life. Now, I am trying to complete my Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing so I can send my younger sister to college. My younger sister has been shunned by my family and the community back home after she got pregnant out of wedlock. I still remember the day she wanted to get an abortion and I talked her out of it because I know that no child is a mistake, but a precious gift to fight for. I have lost enough loved ones already and I knew I would lose another if my sister had gone through with the abortion. I want her to realize that regardless of how hard life can be, I will never stop believing in her, just like my grandfather who never stopped believing in me. I now know what matters in my life, I know why I must fight because I am my sister’s hope, and not just hers, but also my sweet little niece. Indeed, death is inevitable, but so is life; life reminds us of our purpose regardless of death. Hence, I choose to be intentional about my decisions in life, so others around me can hope for the best, remain in the worst, and never give up. For we are all warriors, and warriors are survivors who never stopped fighting.

Stand Up, Soldier! There isn’t much to see, when anger blinds the eyes. It is better to take a nap then it is to sleep, for maybe someone out there is ready to die for what they love. You say it’s patriotic, I say it’s suicide; you call it passion, I call it the inevitable. There isn’t much to see, when all you see is what they don’t. Nevertheless, you’re here to stand your ground for you know it isn’t over until it’s over. Their eyes are so watery, but they refuse to blink as they stare into your soul. Now that you know how to breathe your own breath, you finally realize that you were but a soldier who won a thousand battles - but the war is yet to come. You remain calm, but why? You cry way too much, but no one died-yet. How is this possible when you were taught not to cry for how you feel, but how others make you feel? Must I remind you that you were me, might I add that you were real, so real to me I had to pretend you never existed. There isn’t much to see, when you’re surrounded by false pretense every day. Fear of the future engulfs you, memories from the past torment you, the present is barely existent. Does this mean I have reached the peak, is this it? They said there’s always light at the end of the tunnel, but all I see is an idea of the light I envisioned. Maybe I missed it, maybe I wasn’t intentional to even begin with. “I’m doing okay today,” is but an excuse to say that “I’m scared!” Help my unbelief, for I refuse to believe that I am special. I work so hard to get my peers approval, I study so hard so the system doesn’t fail me; for if I don’t pass, I have automatically failed. I don’t have a lot of options to choose from. I’m just trying to see if anyone has noticed that I already turned around to swim towards the shores. No one ever stopped to see, but I don’t blame them, it was a competition after all and everyone has their heads under water, struggling to reach the finishing line - how do you breathe like that? Now, I’m standing at the shores, looking into the horizon and all I can see is the sun at dusk. I think I’ve made it past the tunnel, but I still don’t understand why I’m all alone. I hope mum understands, but she never will. My tears are too cold to be real, I must be dead. It’s too quiet and I’m loosing sleep, I need help outside of me. This is it! I just needed to put it in writing, that’s what old-schoolers would do, and I did. I’ve never thought I would live to see this day, but I’m alive and so now I testify that people only live to die for death is inevitable, but you can live to see another day as long as you survive the battlefield - the human mind. After all, it was never about the war, but the battles you had to fight daily. Hence, I stand without battle scars, but I don’t seem real because you’ve never seen a soldier without one - or have you? Nevertheless, standing is the position I chose to take because it is the only position my family, friends, and country wants to find me doing; not because I’m invincible, but because I am a soldier through-and-through.

I cannot promise life to anyone, but I refuse to ignore the inevitability of death to take its course without a fight. Life and death are partners, but life always comes first before death. Growing up in a home with a grandfather who was a nurse anesthesia and a mother who works as a surgical nurse was so much, to say the least. I was always fascinated with science and its many ideologies and how things worked, but nothing amazed me more than how the human body functions. My parents separated when I was four and my older brother thought life was over for him when they separated. Trust me, you might think this is funny but being a four year old sucks. I was forced to get good grades, even a B- was considered a failure. I think I matured way too early, for most of my life I was expected to be responsible regardless of my age. Hence, I feel like people always see me as the responsible one who is not susceptible to depression, anxiety, or any kind of mental illness. COVID-19 had a toll on everyone and I lost a lot of loved ones to it. I grieved by myself as an international student whose family was 11,000 miles away. I felt so lonely as I felt so much pain all by myself. I hated being around my friends because all they did was complain that I did nothing but seat in my room and study; I was depressed. I stopped receiving calls from back home (Papua New Guinea) because all it did was make me sad. I was at the verge of quitting school until I read this quote from Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, “If your dream’s do not scare you, they are not big enough.” Indeed, my dreams were big, but my love for my family was definitely bigger. I realized at a very young age that life was precious. I remember seeing my grandfather suffering from dementia and how my family reacted to it thinking it was just old age. Mental health was never a topic of discussion back home, not even in schools so everyone dismissed my grandfather’s case, thinking that it was just old age taking its course. I wish I knew more about mental illness back then, or even better, I wish they taught it in school so I could helped my family understand what grandpa was facing at the time in order for him to live his last days comfortably; he was suffering and no one knew how to deal with it. I hope to be a psychiatric nurse one day so I can help people to understand the human mind and genes so that no one takes the same course my poor grandfather suffered. In fact, my aunt currently has Alzheimer’s and now that I know what it looks like after studying it; I educate my family on it so they know how to deal with it. Hence, my degree is so important to me personally so I could use it to help my family and country who has a big stigma against mental health understand the reality of mental health. My degree will de give me the validation and opportunity to be an men health advocate in a larger crowd. First and foremost, I want people to be aware of mental health and how the community can help to support and improve their lives to ensure others who suffer from mental health are not alone, by way of awareness and education.

To be able to react to hard situations in life must be somewhat easier for people who have a foundational support system present in their lives. Growing up with a single-parent is tough, but even tougher when both parents are alive, but one willingly chooses to be absent from their child’s life. I hesitantly reached out to my dad to help me this past year because I was truly struggling financially and he told me to even quit school and get married. It’s amazing how someone who has been absent for almost all my life had the power to destroy me with just words. My dad’s words impacted me negatively and I already gave up on myself, but my mother didn’t. Hence, I am here, still pursuing my dream. This past year has been really tough for me as I had to switch my pre-med major to nursing because I didn’t have the funds to afford my tuition, regardless of my good grades. I couldn’t even afford to pay for my textbooks since I didn’t have a good paying job on campus and as an international student, I couldn’t work off-campus. My financial crisis made me think I should probably quit and go back home because I had a good enough reason to do so, but then I remembered why my dream was important to me personally. I vividly remember as a seven year old saying, “I will work in the hospital like mommy when I grow up so mommy can take a break and catch up on her naps,” and my mum recorded a video of me saying this in front of the mirror. All I wanted was to help my mother, but now I realize that I don’t just want to help just one person, but a lot of people who are hurting. Hence, I cried myself to sleep whenever necessary and pushed on even though I knew I didn’t have the money to afford my education, and I did exceedingly well on my grades. I learned to be patient by trusting the process and believing the impossible. Looking back, I realized that I have never believed in myself before like I did this past year. I have grown to love and appreciate the people around me who consistently gave their time and energy to support me even though I felt hopeless and lost. I am grateful that I have learned to stay calm, positive, and optimistic through tough situations, especially deaths in my family as I am away from home (Papua New Guinea) and haven’t been back home for five years now. One thing that has changed in my life is that I’m learning to appreciate the people in my life, who have never given up on me even when I gave up on myself. Ellen Johnson Sirleaf once said, “If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough.” Hence, I have learned that while I’m discovering myself as a person, I don’t ever want to be someone else’s reason to think that they can never dream bigger. I want to push others and myself to never give up and stay focused because dreams are powerful realities that can never be traded for another.

I have often been asked this question a numerous times and over the years my answer has been the same. In fact, my answer seems so cliche that it seems like I have rehearsed it. I didn’t quite understand what nursing was until I travelled to the United States to study nursing. As an international student, I didn’t have the privilege to work off-campus to gain the experience as others have, but with the help from my school I did manage to work with a small Senior Living Center for less than a year and it changed my entire perspective of nursing. Working with older adults who are not independent anymore is just like working with children. I realized that to be a nurse means to understand and learn to adapt to work with all ages of life - infancy through old age. Also, a lot of people didn’t believe in me and have said I wasn’t going to make it, even my dad was not impressed that I wanted to be a nurse instead of a doctor. Indeed, it all the more gave me a reason to pursue nursing wholeheartedly. I am certain that nurses have a lot of impact on humanity, and regardless of the mental, physical, and societal pressures they go through daily, they always seem to have room in their hearts for one more life; and even if they don’t, they make room for it. I’m pursuing this career path so I can prove people wrong and make myself proud because I didn’t let their words get to me. I am intentionally passionate about nursing and I will never let anyone take that away from me. I have been blessed by compliments from the people I worked with who have stated that I have a great mindset and work ethic wherever I’m at. I admire the fact that nurses are people who are determined and dedicated to save lives by serving others mentally, physically, and emotionally. I know that all fields of nursing is essential to mankind no matter what. I know this because my mother is a surgical nurse and my late grandfather was a nurse anesthetist. They both inspired me to care for people at a very young age and I fell in love with nursing ever since. I want to pursue pediatric nursing because I am convinced that God wanted me to become a pediatric nurse from the very beginning. I love that children not only receive help, but also get to share they tears, laughter, and their pain with nurses. It is like children sharing their experience with you in the most authentic way that it has the power to change one’s perspective on life. It is heartbreaking to see anyone in pain, but children bear a different and a much heavier influence on another as they are so young and have little to no sense of what lies ahead of them. Hence, pursuing this field of nursing further reminds me that life is a beautiful gift that should be treasured and preserved at all cost because it does not last forever. I love working with children and I enjoy that I get to be myself around young hearts. My dream is to better the future and pass love and positivity to children so they learn to appreciate life each and every day - children are the future of every nation.