I am too smart to fail. There is no reason for me to get a bad report card. And yet, I did. My junior year of high school came and I finally had to accept the hard truth. I am not normal. I don’t want to be different from others. My mom wanted me to be normal more than I did. She did not want to medicate me so she sent me to therapy. It didn’t benefit me in any way. I was anxious all the time. Going to school was horrifying as I had to face the teachers of the classes I was neglecting. Depression came over me and I felt like there was no way out. I wasn’t smart. I couldn’t do anything on my own. I lost all hope for my academic future. I was drowning but no one was reaching out to help me. I thought I had ADHD since fifth grade. I could never stay organized and drove my teacher insane. She would scold me for the way my things were in my desk or the amount of papers that I had in my locker. She told my parents I was a lost cause. I told my mom that I might have ADHD, but she dismissed it. I was making an excuse to get off easy or I was reading too much online. She thought I was trying to have a mental disability. Plus, I was “too smart” to have a mental disability. And for the longest time, I believed her. Middle school came and went and I moved on to a new start at Living Word Lutheran High School. I had new teachers, new faces, and a new workload. In middle school, homework was never enforced. This was not the case anymore. By sophomore year I started to struggle to find a balance with school work. I would be mentally frozen. Big assignments and projects were too overwhelming to even start, but I just told everyone that, “I just don’t care.” Everytime report cards would go home I was able to cram all of my work in for fear of failure. I wasn’t even near reaching my academic potential, but I was passing. No one knew that my grades were horrible. My peers still came to me for homework help and clarification on what we were learning. I understood the concepts, just couldn’t bring myself to do the homework. My academic intelligence was the only thing keeping my head from going under the water. Then came the most important year of my life academically. I have never performed as poorly in school as I did junior year. All I was trying to do was evade being ineligible for sports and keep the office from emailing my mom about my grades. Mid-quarters were hell. I was constantly being punished by my parents for being behind, lying about getting my work done, and being “unpleasant”. My attitude was really just reflecting how little hope I had left for myself. Depression hit me at full force and I started working more hours so I could ignore my homework. I was constantly in a stress response. My mom finally caught on and brought up ADHD testing with my doctor. By the middle of summer I was diagnosed and now medicated. It’s like a burden has been lifted from me. I have regained my passion for learning I thought was long lost. I’m performing to my full potential. My teachers tell me I seem to have a new spark about me. I can function independently. I have found hope.