On a hot Wednesday afternoon, my mother picked me up and parked her car outside of our apartment building, but never left the vehicle. She stared at the steering wheel and fought back, what I believed was the impossible. A small, but apparently heavy and stubborn, tear that ripped down her cheek and tore apart the same rock in herself that my family had meticulously constructed within me. “Your father is gone. In prison. And I refuse to lie to you. He won’t come back for a long time” she told me coldly. The words cut, pounded, and hammered away at the solid that had come to be my mind and body. And true to its intended nature, it was impenetrable. I felt nothing. I could not cry, scream, or anything of the sort. “Alright.” was all that escaped my lips and I prepared to go inside. The simultenaeous feelings of lost sensitivity growing up in a household perpetuating toxic masculinity in conjunction with the trauma of losing my father to the legal system have come to stand as my largest and most prevalent adversities throughout the course of my life. However, through undergoing an epiphany of self-sufficiency and recognizing the importance of conjuring my own definition of manhood along with the understanding of the significance of being able to be honest and expressive about my own traumatic experiences, I was relieved of a very tremendous weight that came with upholding the toxic stereotypes of men. This experience made it particularly apparent that, regardless of what I decided to do in life, I knew that I wanted to serve as a living reminder for others not to be discouraged by society by any degree when attempting to explore and embrace their true selves. Throughout my childhood, I’ve always wanted to be an engineer, however, since discovering my inner desire to encourage people to go against societal guidelines and stereotypes, my desire to become an engineer has extended beyond just my love for math and building things. I’ve come to recognize that the faces of those who represent the success of engineers and the faces of those who benefit the most from their creations very rarely look like mine. As a result, many people of color are discouraged from entering these fields as they become socially accepted as white-dominated. This second epiphany has since become added fuel to my aspiration of becoming an engineer. I now want to be more than just an engineer. I want to create in a more targeted manner and within a more targeted community- I want to build things for black people, with black people. Furthermore, I want to be a part of a community actively working to influence the misrepresentation of African Americans in the STEM field and the overall diversification of engineers, inspiring our future generations to do the same to enhance our communities even further.

Though we all perceive creativity in our own way, I have come to understand it as the most significant byproduct of resourcefulness and wielding the perceivably useless cards dealt to you while participating in this game of life. I have come to view these cards in the same light as the pawns of chess: when utilized at the right time, with the right intent, and in combination with the right pieces, the seemingly useless pawn can easily become the most valuable piece on the board. It is this particular truth, in combination with not having much while I was growing up, that has drawn me toward becoming an engineer. I deeply value the ability to fully engage and apply my creativity without constraint and, furthermore, I find it the most fulfilling when I’m able to use this flexibility to support people in creative ways. The possibilities of things that can be built from what seems to be nothing, has repeatedly been proven to be endless throughout history. This has allowed me to draw two extremely important conclusions: there is an endless degree to which I can engage my own creativity and, as a result, there are unlimited possibilities in which my creations can benefit the world on a larger scale. The second reason for which I am infatuated with becoming an engineer is the feeling of a new sense of purpose as an African American. Complex LEGO sets, toy tool boxes, Ikea furniture, and fancy pens and pencils. Though trivial to many, these were the things that built the framework of my childhood. It was with these small activities and objects that I began to utilize my creative imagination to create my own mental escape from the world’s hardships. Along with an escape though, I was able to construct a dream; a dream defined by enhancing the world through the passion of creation surrounded by groups of people who share this passion with me. However, throughout the time that I’ve conceived this vision I’ve come to recognize that the faces of those who represent the success of engineers and the faces of those who benefit the most from their creations very rarely look like mine. This epiphany had become fuel to the already burning flame that was my desire to become an engineer. I now wish to create in a more targeted manner and within a more targeted community- I want to build things for black people, with black people. Furthermore, I want to be a part of a community actively working to influence the misrepresentation of African Americans in the STEM field, inspiring our future generations to do the same to enhance our communities even further. I no longer want to become just an engineer. I want to be a contributor to a community of a diverse group of men and women from a plethora of different backgrounds seeking to use their passion for creation to produce and provide for disadvantaged communities. I want to be the student of those who share my drive and aspirations just as much as they share my experiences as an African American. I want to follow the examples set by my ancestors and become the example for those who will succeed me. I want to be a black engineer

Though we all perceive creativity in our own way, I have come to understand it as the most significant byproduct of resourcefulness and wielding the perceivably useless cards dealt to you while participating in this game of life. I have come to view these cards in the same light as the pawns of chess: when utilized at the right time, with the right intent, and in combination with the right pieces, the seemingly useless pawn can easily become the most valuable piece on the board. It is this particular truth, in combination with not having much while I was growing up, that has drawn me toward becoming an engineer. I deeply value the ability to fully engage and apply my creativity without constraint and, furthermore, I find it the most fulfilling when I’m able to use this flexibility to support people in creative ways. The possibilities of things that can be built from what seems to be nothing, has repeatedly been proven to be endless throughout history. This has allowed me to draw two extremely important conclusions: there is an endless degree to which I can engage my own creativity and, as a result, there are unlimited possibilities in which my creations can benefit the world on a larger scale. The second reason for which I am infatuated with becoming an engineer is the feeling of a new sense of purpose as an African American. Complex LEGO sets, toy tool boxes, Ikea furniture, and fancy pens and pencils. Though trivial to many, these were the things that built the framework of my childhood. It was with these small activities and objects that I began to utilize my creative imagination to create my own mental escape from the world’s hardships. Along with an escape though, I was able to construct a dream; a dream defined by enhancing the world through the passion of creation surrounded by groups of people who share this passion with me. However, throughout the time that I’ve conceived this vision I’ve come to recognize that the faces of those who represent the success of engineers and the faces of those who benefit the most from their creations very rarely look like mine. This epiphany had become fuel to the already burning flame that was my desire to become an engineer. I now wish to create in a more targeted manner and within a more targeted community- I want to build things for black people, with black people. Furthermore, I want to be a part of a community actively working to influence the misrepresentation of African Americans in the STEM field, inspiring our future generations to do the same to enhance our communities even further. I no longer want to become just an engineer. I want to be a contributor to a community of a diverse group of men and women from a plethora of different backgrounds seeking to use their passion for creation to produce and provide for disadvantaged communities. I want to be the student of those who share my drive and aspirations just as much as they share my experiences as an African American. I want to follow the examples set by my ancestors and become the example for those who will succeed me. I want to be a black engineer.