The most significant challenge I have faced since birth is my mother's substance use. From the age of 4, I have memories of living in an unstable home riddled with violence and constant police presence. At the age of 6, I was permanently removed from my mother's care and placed with my maternal grandmother, my Nana, and separated from my younger brother. Growing up in a single-family household with my Nana struck me with the realities of a low-income background, shaped by a single income in her 60s. Even so, my Nana provided me with everything I wanted and more. She made sure there was food on my plate and a roof over my head, giving me the support system that has brought me to where I am today. Growing up, my experience wasn't about being low income; it was about how she hid it from me, and how she did everything to make me feel deserving of all the nice things, whether or not it put her through financial stress. She ensured that I was supported, no matter the cost to her. My mother continued to use substances, but during the pandemic, she became pregnant, and this brought me new hope that she could change. Yet history repeated itself when my little sister was removed from my mother's care and placed in my Nana's house, just as I was, years earlier. This experience was overwhelming; even though I was reunited with my sister, adapting to help raise a baby was a challenge in itself, and one my Nana and I now faced together. My Nana, being a pillar of my upbringing, has taught me to keep pushing forward no matter the circumstances, especially through my mother's passing. Experiencing the weight of raising her two grandchildren alone, she was the strongest woman in every room, persevering through not only emotional stress but financial stress as well. Her support has been my driving force and motivation in life, because growing up with a single grandmother raising children in her 60s has taught me more ambition than anything else. No matter what circumstances my grandma has faced, she has shown me the strength I need going into this world and reminded me of it, teaching me how I will continue to show up for communities in need, being a pillar in as many lives as I can, just as she has always been in mine.

Growing up, I faced many insecurities regarding food, housing, and health due to my father being incarcerated for my whole life. The responsibility of a child weighed heavily on my mother. She struggled mentally through this challenge and it wasn't until I was 5, she started to lose faith in herself and fell into substance abuse and crime. Typically, a little girl doesn't lose her innocence until her teenage years. I, unfortunately, lost mine at the age of 5, as the memories of my childhood consisted of living in an unstable home riddled with violence and constant police presence. At 6, I was removed from my mom’s care by Social Services and placed with my maternal grandma–my Nana. Given my upbringing, I was determined to avoid replicating the challenges my parents faced. Witnessing the struggles my mother endured due to her socioeconomic status, I took decisive action to become a leader, aiming to alleviate the disparities in my community. I began volunteering at a non-profit organization, the Salvadoran American Leadership and Education Fund (SALEF), and then successfully secured an internship for all 4 years in High School. This opportunity has afforded me the experience of collaborating with elected officials to hold food distributions for my community for those experiencing homelessness, food insecurity, and unemployment. Through my unwavering dedication, I was selected by SALEF to become a youth ambassador to educate my community about digital literacy at the AT&T Connected Learning Center. Essentially it deconstructs the technological disparities faced by communities of color. This can better help communities access telehealth, educational resources for youth, and overall critical access resources like information about city and county programs. Through these experiences, I have gained the capacity to uplift community members by providing them with support my mother didn't have. Participating in these events, organizations, and programs has brightened my community, providing them with self-efficacy. The passing of my mother due to systemic issues motivates me to provide equitable resources to my community. These experiences have shaped my drive to advocate for system-impacted families by becoming a lawyer who advocates for real, tangible social impact. My journey starts this fall as I will be attending the University of California, Berkeley majoring in Legal Studies. I am delighted to say that I am the first member of my family to attend a four-year university, hoping this can alleviate the financial burden of pursuing higher education.

As a child, all I ever desired was a loving family with security in my life. My reality was far from that dream. My father has been incarcerated since I was a baby and my mother has struggled with sobriety since my birth. Yet, the relationship with my mother was, for the most part, loving, especially since she has suffered from substance use until the present day. Younger, I always thought our loving bond would overcome everything, but only to realize that drugs had a stronger grip on her. The family I wished for was only an illusion. When I think of her, there are memories of living in an unstable home with violence and constant police presence. At 6, I was removed from my mom’s care by Social Services and placed with my maternal grandma–my Nana, and separated from my brother. My Nana has provided me with emotional support as we both face trauma from my mother’s absence. In 2020, as we were experiencing the uncertainty of the pandemic, my mother became pregnant. This brought new hope that she could become sober. I knew that her history would dictate the life of this new child. Unfortunately, my mother relapsed many times while she was pregnant. History repeated itself when my sister was removed from my mother’s care. The baby was placed with my Nana, just like I was years ago. I was scared to face this new challenge of taking on the responsibility of helping raise my little sister with an absentee mother. But here I was, in a familiar place. She encompasses the innocence I yearned to protect. Something I had lost years ago, and here was my opportunity to help. Adjusting to a crying baby, changing diapers, and the grappling of financial challenges of caring for her was difficult. Lulu and I often cried as one. She was the one person who was supposed to be there for us, but she was only appearing in our grief. Encountering the stress stemming from my absent mother and the responsibility of caring for my sister weighed heavily on me, as I was already juggling academics and community work. I wanted to establish emotional stability as I felt constant angst. I came to realize that ignoring my stress would only lead me to a harmful mental state. Navigating and understanding my feelings has become an important part of my growth. My parents dealt with their stress differently. It led them to drug use, criminal behavior, involvement in gangs, and self-destructive tendencies. As someone who recognized that my parents' destructive paths came from denial and refusing to face their respective issues, I sought a therapist to ensure I wouldn't reproduce this outcome. It's the challenges that my mother's relationship brings me that I invest in valuable resources equipped with tools to manage my stress. I dedicate time and energy to various forms of therapy that have launched my healing journey. Dancing is my physical outlet. My academic success is driven through my studies, which established a foundation of resiliency. Now for my soul, I'm an active leader in my community. All my chosen forms of therapy have profoundly impacted me. Adapting to the changes that my family has provided is part of my cultural construct. It has embedded the idea of cultivating mindfulness. Recognizing these issues within myself will pave the way for a brighter future from one of my parents. My educational journey allows me to break our generational trauma. I'm determined to pave the way for both my sister and myself to a better life.