On the outside looking in, I am a girl from a small town in Arkansas who is blessed enough to have the opportunity to go to college. However, what most people do not see is my mother: an educator, single parent, domestic violence survivor, and a role model. She has devoted her life to giving me and my sister any opportunity we could ever want, meanwhile barely making a livable wage. Before she was a single parent, we lived in constant fear and stayed home when we were not at sports or school. It is safe to say that I lived in constant emotional and physical weakness simply because I could never "fight back," but out of all the bad, the most unoptimistic moments happened while I was locked in my room for excessive amounts of time. Sometimes I would cry, sometimes I would lay in bed staring at the ceiling imagining what my friends were doing, but sometimes--when I would get bored enough--I would rediscover craft supplies my grandmother would give me each Christmas. With this hodge-podge of textiles and gadgets, I would learn to make jewelry, sew, crochet, draw, and do other random crafts that I would take to school the next day and sell. God blessed me with the ablitiy to create even when I had no real direction, and for that, I will always be grateful. If I had not had all of that junk in my room I truly do not know what type of person I would be today. From second to sixth grade I saved up twelve hundred dollars that I made purely off of what I made in my free time. At the time, I was just trying to get rid of all the crap in my room, but as I have gotten older, making and selling crocheted bears or quilts has become how I choose to spend my free time. Some might interpret that and say that I took my hardship and turned it into a child version of entrepreneurship, but to me, it was just a survival method that I happened to enjoy. Now that I am older and safer, I have decided that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. For now it is only a dream, but one day I know I will have a boutique-like shop where I will probably sell clothes and jewelry, but my main goal is to simply have a place where I can sell whatever I choose to make in my free time as well as maybe do alterations. The big picture is to also have space for other creative people to have a place to sell their creations--kind of like a farmers market. This may not be the grand entrepreneur dream this scholarship is geared towards, but I ask to simply be considered because I know having this award would be a blessing that assists in financing my degree. I would make a difference in my future not only because it would help fund college, but I would also know that my story and dreams were seen as significant enough to deserve being sponsored. Thank you for your time and consideraton.

Before I had the opportunity to play tennis in high school, my friends and I would walk to the park with our cheap Wilson rackets and hit dead tennis balls around the courts. Living in a small town there were really no other options other than Sonic or the Walmart parking lot that was in the next town over. With no knowledge of technical rules, we had the time of our lives for hours on end. If me and my mom were bored one day, we'd go to the tennis courts. If someone I was friends with had a birthday, we'd end up at the tennis courts. Even now that I have actually learned how to play the sport, I am just as in love with it as ever and going to the tennis courts has always been my go-to hang-out spot. I am by no means a professional and I never got past 3rd seat in girls' singles on my high school team, yet out of all the sports I have played tennis was not only the most enjoyable but it taught me more than I ever thought it would. Originally, I joined the high school tennis team with no ambition to "get better," it was purely a pursuit of happiness to hit the balls around with my friends. However, my coach--who is also the cross country and soccer coach--had very high hopes for my improvement and encouraged me and some of my other teammates to spend extra time outside of practice with him. Although I had always enjoyed playing the game, these extra long practices where I was out until after dark are what made me fall in love with the sport. Eventually, I started spending most of my free time at the courts, alone, hitting off a wall or practicing my serves; this is the only time I can recall in my entire life where I genuinely loved something enough to want to improve purely for my own enjoyment. These moments taught me what it means to truly love something and I did learn perseverance and technique, but I think the most important lesson tennis has taught me was how to be content with my performance and how to take something I love and improve without becoming burnt out. This being said I will never be good enough to go D1 or Pro, but that only makes me love it more because that weight is not on my shoulders and I can simply enjoy the game. Everything I have learned and experienced from tennis will follow me into the future because of the new perspective it has given me toward the meaning of "doing what I love". And I also hope my future family will bond the same way I did with mine over tennis. I don't think I will ever stop playing tennis either; now that I am a senior in high school, my competitive tennis career has technically ended, however, my future with tennis has just begun. Learning official tennis techniques and etiquette only makes me more credible as a casual coach for future friends in college and hopefully my future children if they are up to it.

Before we left, I lived the majority of my life at school or trapped in my bedroom. My mind has blocked out most of my experiences at the house I used to live at, but one thing that I will never forget is the moments I spent talking to God. My mom and her side of the family were the ones who taught me and my sister to be Christians and love God, but we did not go to church regularly because we were scared of what we would come back to if we left my dad alone with his friend Jack Daniels. As a result of only being exposed to religion 4 times a year--Easter, Mother's Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas--managing my faith was ultimately my responsibility. Since I was in my room so often I would find ways to entertain myself such as painting, crocheting, sewing, making little purses out of duct tape and hot glue, and a bunch of random crafty stuff; however, once I rediscovered a bible that I had owned for as long as I remember, I would occasionally get curious and decide to spend hours decoding the KJV jibberish that my elementary-aged mind could not yet comprehend. At the time, I knew to pray every night and that Jesus loved me, but I saw my faith as a hobby rather than an actual way of life. Looking back now that I have grown significantly, I realize just how big of an impact having that bible in my room made on my entire life because when I read it that was the only way I learned not only God's will for us as humans but how to be a decent person. The main reason I am so strong in my faith today is because I've learned to recognize that God intentionally put me in an environment where I was forced into my room and intentionally placed that bible in my possession. It is baffling to me that not a single aspect of my life was an accident or coincidence, and I am beyond grateful that I had the opportunity to learn about Jesus even if it is not how children traditionally come to their faith. If I had not had that bible in my room, because you are a product of your environment, I could have possibly turned out just like my father leading a life of depression and violence. Since we are out now, you would never guess that my family ever experienced what we did because we are blessed enough to have everything we need and more. However, I know what I went through, and I also know that countless people can relate to my situation but will never come to know God as I did. Over the last few years, I have been acquiring Bibles that are either being given out, are no longer used by people who have multiple, or are just really cheap and have been giving them as additions to Christmas and birthday gifts for both loved ones and a few acquaintances. I know that they may not want one or go out of their way to buy a bible for themselves, but I would have never just gone out and bought the bible that was in my room, I just happened to have it when I needed it. I plan to use my faith and experiences to ensure that everyone I know has their "just in case" bible.

My favorite thing about Disney is their impeccable ability to create magical stories that perfectly convey my childhood. Belle was held captive by the Beast. Ariel was trapped by the limitations of the sea. Rapunzel was imprisoned in her tower. However, what resonated with my younger self the most is how each of the princesses were able to escape their personal cages through their own willpower. Even though as a child I was unaware of the extent of abuse I was enduring at home, when I watched these movies for hours on end while I was stuck in my bedroom, I knew these girls had something I longed for: freedom. Cinderella and Moana became my role models as I tried to occupy my mind and count down the hours until—as Rapunzel would say—my life would begin. The Disney movies my grandmother bought me each year on my birthday were scratched and worn down from being my sole source of entertainment most days after school and on the weekends. Once one CD was loved until it lost its function, I would move on to the next, constantly keeping a disc in my DVD player. I love Disney because it’s movies not only raised me, but symbolize the majority of my childhood. When you hear about domestic violence, the part about how most victims have very little freedom to leave the house is more than likely being excluded. As for me and my family, the only time we were allowed to leave was for school and if we had dance or gymnastics after school. Church, family gatherings, and any non-sport-related extracurricular activities were completed prohibited because Cinderella needed to feed the chickens or Elsa needed to hide in her room. Relating to these movies kept me sane while I was trapped in my house and helped me discover who I was as a person. Different hobbies I learned to love because of Disney were painting, riding horses, knitting, archery, reading, sewing and so many more. I love Disney because I have tried every hobby Rapunzel mentions in her intro song to pass time the same way she did and because the movies helped me find my identity. Although I do not have a wholesome story about how I came to love the magic of Disney, I do have a real story about how that magic helped me survive the first 13 years of my life. I might not become a Disney adult who spends every vacation at theme park resorts, but I will always revert back to the particular movies I can quote word for word. I love Disney because I do not need my obsession with the magic in their movies to define my personality. I love Disney because it helped me find my personality so I can independently grow away from my abusive household. I love Disney because it made my childhood survivable.

My father taught me how to count money before I was 4 and would catch me with my piggy bank open with a pile of coins on the floor. He also taught me how to do quick multiplication and division in my head; which I still use to this day. As a child, most of my academic praise came from my ability to understand math and process the numbers quickly. Even now that I am older and in a more competitive environment where I don’t excel near as much as I did in elementary, when I am complemented on mathematic achievements the first person I think of is my dad. The only problem with that is he’s no longer around to shower me with the validation I craved growing up. The reason I love math is not because it’s fun to me or because I think I am good at it, but it is because math gives me a bittersweet memory of my father. To address any assumptions, he’s not dead, but he is gone and I will more than likely never see him again. The warm part of the memories math resurfaces for me, is how loved and special I felt when my dad bragged on me to his friends and how he’s the reason I can do math so quickly. Math is one of the few good memories I have of my dad when I knew him. However, it is equally difficult to reminisce because it is also a reminder that he’s not around anymore. Not only does any type of math emphasize his absence, but it tells me I am no longer praised for math and I have to work to find some other form of academic validation. I love math because it taught me to be motivated when there is no motivation. I love math because my dad taught it to me.

In the future I dream that I will be as strong as my mother and pursue higher education in the same way: relentlessly, with strong and selfless ambitions for a career that serves others more than myself.